Characteristics of Love

Love Sermon Series Part 1

Characteristics of Love

Introduction:

As many of you know February is the month many of us take to formally recognize and celebrate love. Valentine’s Day for example is a day when people take an opportunity to tell their mate that they love them and that they are special to them. In my home in particular, we also have our Wedding Anniversary in February which also adds more special time for me to reflect on the good gift of my wife Angel which the Lord has blessed me with.

The Bible teaches us that three things will last forever- faith, hope and love – and the greatest of them is love. So, I want to take some time during this sermon series entitled What is Love and focus on a few key points such as the characteristics of love, loving your mate, God’s perfect love and loving others as ourselves. This week we will begin with reviewing what the Bible teaches us about the character traits of love.

Scripture Reference:

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 New Living Translation (NLT)

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

(slide 1)

Love is Patient and Kind

One of the primary characteristics of love is that of patience and kindness. All throughout the Scriptures we can see the patience and kindness of God towards his chosen people. There would be this cycle of the Lord blessing them and entering into a covenant relationship with them. But instead of the Israelites following their side of the agreement they would be tempted to do things their own way thus rejecting the Lord and breaking the established covenant with God.

The Lord would be patient with them and send men and women of God, judges, prophets, and even Himself personally to deliver the warning for them to turn and repent or face a judgment. Unfortunately, we know that no one ever got it right and that we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

But the Lord is love and by His grace, mercy, patience and kindness did not give up on mankind. But instead, He sent His only Son, Jesus, Emmanuel who is God with us to teach, live and die on the cross so that all who put their faith in Him would not face the judgment we deserve but rather have eternal life in paradise with our risen King Jesus.

We can see all the signs of the end of days around us and many generations have cried out Lord please don’t tarry, come back soon for your people. But the Lord is love and His patience and kindness will endure until the proper time so that as many people as possible may be saved from their sins. We can see this explained clearly in (next slide)

2 Peter 3:9 New Living Translation (NLT)

9 The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed but wants everyone to repent.

So as Christians we want to be like Jesus and therefore need to demonstrate patience and kindness to one another. This can be very difficult at times in our fast paced, highly stressed modern society where many of our needs or wants are just a few clicks on our phones away.

Or maybe there are hurts or issues in our families, in our social settings or in our pasts that lend us to being defensive or reactive to situations. Said differently many people feel like they have taken or dealt with all they are going to take or deal with and overreact when life does not go according to plan or when others do not see things their way.

No matter what the situation, the point remains that Jesus is love and He is patient and kind to us as believers and also patient and kind to the unbelievers so we need to demonstrate the same loving attitude towards our families, our brothers and sisters in Christ and to the world around us.

(next slide)

Love is Not Jealous, Boastful or Rude

The next characteristic of love we see in this scripture is that love is not jealous, boastful or rude. What this means is that as believers we are to be content with the grace which Christ has given us and not try to compete with or compare ourselves to others.

(next slide)

Philippians 4:12-13 New Living Translation (NLT)

12 I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

(next slide)

You see when we learn to get our strength from Christ then we can achieve confidence without arrogance. To put it another way if a person is insecure about themselves or feels like they don’t get what they deserve then they will be jealous when good things happen to others instead of rejoicing with them. In addition, to the jealousy comes boastfulness. A friend of mine at works uses the phrase Tommy Topper to refer to such people. You know the ones that have to try and top any positive event you share. For example, if you found $10 in your dresser they will tell of the time that they found $50. Or if you are excited because of a special moment in your life then they need to share the time that they did the same thing only better. If you were excited that you got a good deal on a recent purchase, they will be the first ones to tell you they got a better deal. Aside from being very annoying and socially awkward, Paul teaches us that it is just plain rude and has no place in a loving relationship especially among believers. What some people don’t understand is that when they brag on themselves they are actually trying to take partial credit for the blessing the Lord has given them which ultimately stems from either pride or an insecurity they are over compensating from.

However, when someone is certain that Jesus is their source of strength and that He will provide for their needs than one can be content and not feel the need to compare their situation with someone else’s or to brag on how good they did at something.

Jesus teaches us not to stress about our needs being met because He will provide for us like He provides for all creation.

(next slide)

Matthew 6:25-34 New Living Translation (NLT)

25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

Again, we can see that the Lord is the source for all we need and that He is faithful to provide when we live righteously so therefore, when we are blessed we need to give Him all the credit and when others are blessed we are not to be jealous but rather celebrate with them praising God for His goodness. By doing so we will demonstrate love to others and glorify the God.

(next slide)

Love Does Not Demand It’s Own Way

Another characteristic of love is that it does not demand it’s own way. Have you ever been around someone with the it’s my way or the highway mentality? It’s incredibly awkward feeling like anything you say or do that is an independent different from theirs is going to cause conflict. Things should not be this way.

Yes it’s true that our core beliefs should all be the same an unwavering. What I mean by that is Jesus is the one true God and no one gets to heaven except by Him. Also, that the Bible is the inspired word of God and is literal and we should read it and apply it to our lives. In addition, we should all agree on Holy Living and that while we will never completely measure up there is a genuine effort on our part to more and more like Jesus. We should all agree that we are all sinner saved by grace and that the Lord has trusted us with His church to help continue His work by loving and serving others for His glory. Yes we as Christians should believe in all these fundamental truths and many more like them.

I only mention this to clarify that these truths are not what Paul is talking about when he writes that love does not demand it’s own way. Rather what he is speaking about is when a person is closed minded and demanding does not compromise or consider the feelings of others but rather insists on doing things their own way.

As we spoke about earlier, this trait is one of the chief reasons in which humans are so easily tempted to sin because instead of living according to God’s ways they will instead insist on doing what is right in their own eyes which is rebellion against the Lord.

To maintain a healthy relationship with anyone all parties should feel comfortable to speak freely and have a mutual exchange of ideas without conflict. The main point is to not compromise on our fundamental truths of the faith or to allow sin to enter the equation but provided that is not case a person should not feel like they are always right or have to always get their way. By someone demanding their own way they are not loving others as themselves and that is not only not healthy and controlling but is also sin.

Love is Not Irritable and Keeps No Records of Wrongs

In addition, a different characteristic of love is that it is not irritable and keeps no records of wrongs. So what does the Bible mean by the word irritable. Irritable means someone who is easily annoyed or made angry. Being irritable is not loving or godly and does not produce righteousness in the believer. We can see this clearly in:

James 1:19-20 New Living Translation (NLT)

Listening and Doing

19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 20 Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.

Not only should we not be irritable or easily angered we should not keep a record of wrongs. Again we are to be Christlike in our pursuits and when we sin and repent and ask for forgiveness the Lord not only forgives us but He remembers our sin no more as if it never happened and we are washed clean by the blood of Christ and are a new creation. And if we mess up the Lord will forgive us time and time again.

So how can we receive the ultimate gift of love from Jesus which is salvation and forgiveness of our sins and a new identity in Christ and then keep a record of wrongs to others? That is a wicked thing indeed. Yes forgiving others is difficult and unnatural in some ways and depending on your personality type it can be even more intensely difficult but none of these reasons makes it ok not to forgive others and keep moving forward.

Unfortunately, in many romantic relationships some couples will bring up previous hurts when they argue or get upset. Other times parents will bring up their children’s past mistakes when teaching them or correcting them with an issue. This is toxic to the relationship plain and simple and only demonstrates to your loved one that your view of them as deeply flawed. Also, it makes your current situation harder to be resolve because if there was not closure or reconciliation on previous situations the person will not have much hope that the current or future situations will be any better which will make them withdraw or act out further.

Keeping a record of wrongs and not forgiving others is a heavy burden that we are not intended to carry around and is not the will of God.

Also, please understand that the Lord also doesn’t want you to keep being in a state of being wronged or hurt and wants your best life for yourself. So, forgive others, don’t keep a record of wrongs yes but that doesn’t mean you need to continue to interact with people who mistreat you. Forgive them, ask the Lord to bless them and move forward in love toward healthy relationships.

Closing:

It is clear to see that the character of love is rich and complex but at the same time simple and direct. We are called to love God with everything we have and to love others as ourselves. When we do that we open the door way for the love of God to richly bless every area of our lives.

Join me next week as we take a look at how love does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. And, how love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Have a great week. God loves you and so do I.