22PT2 - How to Pursue your Spouse

Title: How to Pursue your Spouse

Big Idea: Never stop Pursuing your spouse.

Short Term Challenge / Call to Action:

Pray over Word

I thank you, Father, that your word has the power to change my life. I'm a hearer of the word and a doer of the word and I'll never be the same after today. In Jesus name Amen.

SERIES SETUP (2min)

applies to married and single

Book: 4 laws of love (pull slide from 22PT1 slideshow)

last week

Genesis 2:24-25

That is why a man

1. Leaves his father and mother and

2. is united to his wife,

3. and they become one flesh.

Adam and his wife were both

4. naked, and they felt no shame.

1 Peter 4:8

Above all, love each other deeply...

PROBLEM

this is a message for us all

Genesis 2:24-25

That is why a man

1. Leaves his father and mother and

2. is united to his wife,

3. and they become one flesh.

Adam and his wife were both

4. naked, and they felt no shame.

United - (daw-bak') to pursue closely

we pursued before we got married

never heard of a dating relationship with no pursuit for ourselves

issue is that when we get what we pursued we stop.

must switch the pursuit from us to them.

Marriage never works for selfish people

when i’m at my worst in my marriage is when i’m selfish

bosses, employees, teammates.

1 Cor 13:5

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking...

everyone is always pointing the finger at the other person

usually its both people who won’t deal with their own selfishness

[objection]

what if they take advantage of me?

never bring up their flaws

pride comes before the fall

1 Cor 13:4

...it does not boast, it is not proud.

Pride wants to win. Dominance is trying to get Power over someone else - focused on changing them.

[story]

wanting to be a manager at pizza shop

Mark 10:42-43

Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant,

how affairs happen - someone serves them in a way that meets their emotional needs

SOLUTION

[story]

Melissa’s Triangle

[big idea]

Pillar 2:

Pursue your Spouse by Pursing God

not by trying to get them to fill your needs

pursue Jesus with everything and he will fill your heart with servant love.

God is not looking for people to serve him.

He is serving us day and night, interceding

Luke 12:37

It will be good for those servants whose master finds them watching when he comes. Truly I tell you, he will dress himself to serve, will have them recline at the table and will come and wait on them.

Imagine Jesus serving us

God is a serving God

Develop a heart that focuses on serving God and your spouse

1 Cor 7:3-4

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

Not just about sex but meeting needs - serving

Phil 2:2-4

...make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Jesus - more blessed to give than recieved

when i serve melissa out of Joy

No one likes selfish people

Don’t keep score

we stop serving because we are ahead of them

Matt 6:1

Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

don’t keep track of right and wrong

focus on serving Jesus

CHALLENGE

If you feel like you’ve been serving for a long time with no fruit.

Gal 6:9

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Marriage is an amazing thing.

Encourage Those thinking about giving up.