Robert Bates Memorial Service

Welcome & Statement of Purpose

Ecclesiastes 3:1–13 ESV

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace. What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God’s gift to man.

Prayer

Old Testament Readings

Psalm 138:3–8 ESV

On the day I called, you answered me; my strength of soul you increased. All the kings of the earth shall give you thanks, O Lord, for they have heard the words of your mouth, and they shall sing of the ways of the Lord, for great is the glory of the Lord. For though the Lord is high, he regards the lowly, but the haughty he knows from afar. Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand delivers me. The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.

Psalm 34:17–18 ESV

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalm 121 ESV

A Song of Ascents. I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore.

Psalm 40 ESV

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David. I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord. Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after a lie! You have multiplied, O Lord my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told. In sacrifice and offering you have not delighted, but you have given me an open ear. Burnt offering and sin offering you have not required. Then I said, “Behold, I have come; in the scroll of the book it is written of me: I delight to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart.” I have told the glad news of deliverance in the great congregation; behold, I have not restrained my lips, as you know, O Lord. I have not hidden your deliverance within my heart; I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation; I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness from the great congregation. As for you, O Lord, you will not restrain your mercy from me; your steadfast love and your faithfulness will ever preserve me! For evils have encompassed me beyond number; my iniquities have overtaken me, and I cannot see; they are more than the hairs of my head; my heart fails me. Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver me! O Lord, make haste to help me! Let those be put to shame and disappointed altogether who seek to snatch away my life; let those be turned back and brought to dishonor who delight in my hurt! Let those be appalled because of their shame who say to me, “Aha, Aha!” But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation say continually, “Great is the Lord!” As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord takes thought for me. You are my help and my deliverer; do not delay, O my God!

Psalm 23 KJV 1900

A Psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: And I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Song

New Testament Readings

Romans 8:26–30 ESV

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

John 3:16–17 ESV

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

John 11:25–26 ESV

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?”

Romans 8:31–39 ESV

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Ephesians 1:3–14 ESV

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth. In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.

Matthew 5:3–11 ESV

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.

Eulogy

Robert Gary Bates was born a little over 44 years ago in Washington D.C. When we consider that number of years, questions may flood our minds. Confusion perhaps and even anger. I want to suggest that these feelings are to be expected in response to a loved one, and it is healthy, even necessary, to be honest before God about our feelings, but I want to offer this word of hope from God’s word:

2 Corinthians 1:3–4 ESV

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

Though comfort may seem far or even impossible now, I want us all to see and to know that the God who offers this comfort is constant, present and aware of the hurt we feel today. It is my hope and my prayer that as we reflect on Rob’s life together, not only will we be comforted by the happy and special memories of him, but we will also be comforted by the God who is able to comfort people in the most despairing times of our lives.

I had the opportunity to sit with Christina and her mom and sister to reflect on Rob’s life, and what rises to the surface is fun. Rob was a fun guy. He loved to laugh and make people laugh, and it seems to me he often made people laugh unintentionally. Often Rob’s attire, that is, what he chose to wear could be one of the reasons people laughed. For example, a common outfit for Rob was a tank top, shorts and cowboy boots. But sometimes he would spice it up a bit and out on a pair of bedazzled jeans. Anybody who knew Rob knows that he had his own language. It became known as Robinese. Here are some examples of the Robinese vocabulary:

Instead of pretending it was fertending

People are not intelligent but simply telligent

A person was not sophisticated but fisticated

you don’t need eye glasses to help you see better you need sights.

There were many other words and phrases

Apparently, Rob had a few distinct dance moves which he didn’t necessarily need a dance floor to break out.

I’m sure there are other qualities, memories etc. that would help to show just how funny Rob was, but something that stands out to me is that when I asked Christina to give me words to describe Rob, the first description she gave was funny. There are others to be sure, but Rob made people laugh. He was fun. He was a joy to be around.

Among the church that Rob and Christina were attending, Rob was known as a candy man of sorts. On Sunday morning, the kids of the church could count on Rob to have his pockets full of candy. And while Rob’s heart was to have this candy for the kids, he also wanted some for himself. He had stashes of candy around the house, but he was generous. If Rob saw someone on the side of the road that appeared to be stranded, it was not uncommon for him to stop and help in any way he could.

Rob was a family man

Rob loved his family. It is right to remember him as a family man. He was a very hard-working person. Rob had an impeccable work ethic, and it seems to me that much of what drove him to work so hard was to be able to provide for his family. He spent many years working in construction (Hopkins & Onsight) operating heavy equipment and then owned and operated Outkast Trucking for the past 7 years. And as much as Rob did not like to take days off, he made sure he spent time with his family. He didn’t let the long hours at work interfere with spending time with the family.

He was very committed to his nieces Ashley and Kaylee. Their mother Heidi said that she felt Rob sought to take as good care of her family as he did his own. He was always there for his nieces. And make no mistake, he was a dedicated father. Trent, Carter, Tyler & Kyle.... your dad loved you. Whether it was Friday night movie night with U-5 Pizza or going out to dinner with his boys, Rob was willing to sacrifice anything for his kids.... his family.

Rob and his family would take annual vacations to Kitty Hawk, NC. Rob enjoyed those vacations. He was always very prepared for those trips.... down to the tim foil. The family has many happy memories of those trips, but based on how Rob was described to me, what made those vacations so special to Rob was the time he was able to spend with the family.

A recent story that helps to illustrate Rob’s commitment to his family is a trip he took with his father-in-law, Doug. Rob and Doug were close. Doug wanted to take a trip to see his siblings, but was not able to make the trip on his own. Rob learned of Doug’s desire, took a week off from work after this past Christmas and helped him go see his family. I know it was a special trip for both of them.

And of course, Rob was a husband. Christina, I don’t say this because I knew Rob very long or very well, but because how you speak of him and even how others speak of him, but I am certain that Rob loved you. Over 14 years ago, Rob and Christina were both in a place in their lives where they were available. One day, Rob called Christina and used what is perhaps one of the most unusual pick up lines I have heard. He said, do you know any good girls. Well that swept Christiana right off her feet, and ever since then the rest was history between them both.

It was Rob’s regular practice to call Christina 5-6 times a day during the work day just to check in. Perhaps a brief checkin, but Rob cared about how Christiana was doing throughout the day. She was on his mind, and I’m sure he just wanted to hear the sound of her voice as they made their way through the day. And Rob continued this practice even while he was in the hospital. As he was lying in bed, Christiana was on his mind, and he would call her throughout the day, just to check in, just to hear her voice.

Something else we should all know abut Rob, and it this about him that I want to put forth as the most significant part of who he was. Rob professed faith in Christ. As I noted before, Rob and Christiana attended church. The church they attended was Abundant Life Church, and their pastor was the late Shawn Willie. It is clear that Pastor Shawn played a significant role in Rob and Christina’s life. I say this because in 2018, through the loving care of Pastor Shawn, Rob professed Christ as his Lord and Savior. The next year, Pastor Sean baptized Rob along with several others from Abundant Life.

But it’s important for us to understand what it means to profess Jesus as Lord and Savior. To profess something about yourself is to proclaim something to be true of your life. And profess that it is true of you that Jesus us your Lord and Savior is to acknowledge certain truths:

God is holy. He is perfect. He is true. He is pure love. He is above all creation. He is God

People are sinful. The Bible makes clear that all have sinned and fall short of God’s glory. It’s not difficult for us to acknowledge that we are unlike God. We are not perfect. We are not always true. We are not pure love, and none of us is superior to anyone else before God. And what we, sinners that we are do is reject God. We rebel against him. We attempt to take control of our own lives, live according to our own standards, and while it may seem right to us in a given moment or time, we dishonor God and it’s easy to see what a world full of people who are living in rebellion against their Creator looks like. Sin explains the strife, turmoil and intense conflict that we hear about and witness everyday. And so, we are in need of something that we cannot provide ourselves.

A Savior. What Rob professed to be true, and what we all need is a Savior. And, because we are all sinners, we cannot save ourselves. And so, Jesus came into the world to save His people from their sins. He came into the world, on a mission to save His people from the judgement that we are due because of our sin. He did this by becoming our substitute on the cross where He took on the penalty of our sin, he died and He rose again. He paid the penalty of our sin, but He rose showing the He defeated sin and death itself.

And we, in response to this reality, this good news, the gospel, we must respond. Faith is more than an intellectual agreement. It’s not just agreeing that this gospel is true, although that is necessary. It is embracing the truth. It is saying, yes this is true, and I know I need Jesus.

Jesus made everyone’s need for Him clear when He said, I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father through me. Jesus is the only way.

And remember, Jesus rose from the dead displaying that He conquered death. Everyone, we all feel the loss of Rob. Even if you are here today, not necessarily because you knew Rob well but because you known someone who knew Him well, when we think of Rob’s passing and his age, we may struggle with making sense of it all. That may prove to be an unending effort, but what is crucial we see is that death is not the end. Eternity, while difficult to fully comprehend, is real. People, all people, live forever after death. And what makes the difference where is our relationship to Jesus. If we agree with Him that He is the way, truth and the life and that no one can come to the Father except through Him, death will never be a victor over us. But if not, death is to be feared above all because on the other side of our earthly death is an eternal death, separated from God forever.

I urge us all to think carefully where we are in relationship to Christ. Something I think we can all agree on today, is that life is not predictable. Trust Christ, the one who is in control of all things, all events, all time.

Sharing

Prayer

family and friends are invited to attend a dinner here at the church and to express your sympathies to Christina and her family