Walk Not Angrily

Our emotional makeup is totally from God. All emotions, however, can become destructive when we fail to express them in harmony with biblical limitations and structures.

Anger, in and of itself, is not sinful. We learn this from Paul’s careful distinction between being angry and sinning:

Ephesians 4:26 KJV 1900

26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:

The Bible teaches that Psalm 7:11 God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day.

Mark 3:5 And when he had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, he saith unto the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it out: and his hand was restored whole as the other.

The Christian Counselor’s Manual: The Practice of Nouthetic Counseling Anger Not Necessarily Sinful

Anger [in contrast to rage], however, is a very necessary and useful reaction. … Anger is appropriate as a communication of feeling in reaction to another’s behavior.

Anger is part of our ability to judge.

Anger is judgemental by nature? It says, “I am against that _____.” Fill in the blank.

It’s also diagnostic–meaning it is pointing to something within us.

It shows itself in many ways. Some loud and some subtle. Blowouts, arguing, violence, frustrations, irritability, cranky, passive-aggressive aggressions, grumbling (complaining), bitterness, self-righteous anger.

What is Anger

In our hearts and minds, we all have desires and motivations. This drives our attitudes and behaviors.

James 4:1–3 KJV 1900

1 From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? 2 Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. 3 Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.

AND

James 1:13–16 KJV 1900

13 Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: 14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. 15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. 16 Do not err, my beloved brethren.

Winning Desires Shape Behavior.

Lust = our desires/motives

Comes with a conflict of will.

Mine and God’s

Mine and someone else’s

Desires become demand as we do not submit our will to God’s will

Expectations lead to disappointment when not met.

Disappointment leads to wanting to balance the scale.

At this point we are no longer motivated by a love for God and the people around us (think the 1st and 2nd Great Commandment – Matthew 22:37-40

Matthew 22:37–40 KJV 1900

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Two options in our response

Christians, when we love God and others – we will use ourselves and the things in our lives to express that love.

In our moment of anger, we love ourselves (or things) and manipulate people and even the LORD – to fulfill our desires and get mad when they impede that aim.

When does the anger become sinful?

Anger can become unrighteous anger in two ways:

(1) by the ventilation of anger / blowing up

(2) by the internalization of anger / clamming up

In both cases, the emotional energies of anger are wasted

Venting is not the answer.

The Christian Counselor’s Manual: The Practice of Nouthetic Counseling (Ventilation)

The Scriptures are explicit about such ventilation: it is sin.

Proverbs 29:11 A fool uttereth all his mind: But a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.

Proverbs 25:28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit Is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.

Proverbs 19:11 The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; And it is his glory to pass over a transgression.

Proverbs 29:20 Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? There is more hope of a fool than of him.

Proverbs 29:22 An angry man stirreth up strife, And a furious man aboundeth in transgression.

Proverbs 14:17 He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly: And a man of wicked devices is hated.

Proverbs 14:29 He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: But he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.

Proverbs 15:18 A wrathful man stirreth up strife: But he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.

Proverbs 19:19 A man of great wrath shall suffer punishment: For if thou deliver him, yet thou must do it again.

Proverbs 22:24 Make no friendship with an angry man; And with a furious man thou shalt not go:

Internalization needs to end by sundown.

Ephesians 4:26-27 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: 27 Neither give place to the devil.

There is a place in our hearts that if it is not filled with the Gospel it will hold all manner of internalized hurt.

Uncontrolled anger often points to unaddressed hurt

Maturity means we have a better understanding of our emotions

Angry people make for bad friendships

Association leads a person to take on wrathful ways which are..

Foolish Proverbs 14:29 He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: But he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.

Divisive Proverbs 15:18 A wrathful man stirreth up strife: But he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.

sinful Proverbs 29:22 An angry man stirreth up strife, And a furious man aboundeth in transgression.

become ensnared (caught up in a situation which is hard to get out of) Proverbs 29:6 In the transgression of an evil man there is a snare: But the righteous doth sing and rejoice.

Bad hermeneutics can make you the servant of an angry God.

If you don’t give God His tithe He will get it from you at the mechanic.

How to Handle Anger Righteously

Energies of the emotion of anger are used constructively in solving the problem—attacking it rather than people.

People must be confronted to the extent that they are involved responsibly in the solution to the problem

Let me talk to the manager. Arbys fiasco.

Goal of Communication:

The purpose for the confrontation is to help them and to solve the problem (Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

One controls his anger best when he is solution-oriented rather than problem-oriented.