The Talk

The Talk. That conversation that is uncomfortable for both the parent and the child. It is when the parent does their best to communicate the reality of sexuality in the world. To share advice, answer questions, and give warning. In this world the talk is necessary. But for some reason, in the church, we don’t like to talk about it. Jesus is not that way. Jesus, contrary to what the world theology you to believe, does have a sexual ethic. Meaning in God’s kingdom there is a better way to experience the joys of sexuality and marriage as prescribed by Jesus.

Jesus is not letting up. He is going after the traditional understanding of the law. The people are used to a certain paradigm and Jesus is putting that away by giving us a greater application of the law, one that supersedes the pen and goes straight for the heart. And as it is today, you can not talk about right from wrong in regards to human relationships without eventually discussing sex. Adultery has similar meaning for us as them. It is the general term for intercourse with anyone who is not your marital spouse. And Adultery does not please God. In-fact it displease God so much, he lists it in the 10 Commandments right between, “though shall not kill” and “ thou shall not steal”.

What is more is that Jesus would have derived his sexual ethic from the law, and the law’s ethic forbid any type of sexual activity outside of the created function of one man and one woman under the context of marriage.

1.Check your Heart

Adultery does not happen behind closed doors with the blinds shut. It happens in public, broad daylight, at work, at the gym, at school, at the stop light, at the park, in line at Walmart, at the movies, it happens everywhere because it happens first, in your heart. He raises the bar. People thinking they are ok lusting after people who are not their spouse just because they don’t commit the act with them, but Jesus says no its a heart issue. And please see this not just as a charge for married men, because now that Jesus has exposed the heart, it is applicable for everyone married and single, that adultery happens in heart.

The reason being is that Jesus wants people to check their motives not just their actions. The people listening to Jesus would be well ware of the OT texts about the heart. They would recall Proverbs 27:19 “As in water face reflects face, So the heart of man reflects man.” So, if you are continuously lusting after women, lusting after men, it reflects you with lack of discipline, disrespect for your spouse, and disregard for your God. I get it things happen, we are all human and all make mistakes, but when its a heart problem that is no mistake. So, they could then turn to Davids example in Psalm 51:10 “Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Yes! We may have issues of lust and committing adultery, but thank God he can recreate your heart and clean you up and forgive you and restore that which had been distorted by our lack of self-control.

2. Watch your Eye

Its not enough to bash the people about their heart, there has to be a remedy for the problem. We can’t just say stop doing it without providing strategies on how to quite. Jesus’ strategy is this, “pluck out your eye”. Hold on Jesus, that is a bit extreme! Isn’t it? Not if you wan’t to continue down a road which destination is hell. Now Jesus isn’t speaking literally, although if he were that would be ok too. How do we know, Leviticus 19:28 “‘You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the Lord.” speaks against ceremonial mutilation, think about what the followers of Baal did with Elijah. Jesus is using a figure of speech to communicate a greater truth. In telling them to remove their eye, he is telling them to watch what they watch. Take care for what you look at. (Preach)

When I was a kid at the movies with my father and a scene that was inappropriate came on he would put his hand over my face to cover my eyes so I was not exposed to certain things to early. I in turn do the same things to my children. But, it occurred to me that what i was shielding my children from wasn’t good for me to look at either.

And let me say this before I move on, this is for everyone but more so for the men. When someone is dressed in a way that is revealing

3. Hands to Yourself

If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off. This is simple. Keep your hands to yourself. After your heart has considered, after your eye has studied, then your hand begins to reach. Again, this is no literal because all throughout the scriptures the “hand” is the action of a person. The “Hand of God” or “if my hand forgets its skill”. What you do and how you behave can cause you to stumble and fall into sexual immorality. We need to stop certain interactions with people. For example, I loath the joke and idea of a “work wife or husband”. That’s a doorway into an inappropriate friendship that can end up as something else.

You are going to have to separate yourself from situations that will leave you vulnerable. It goes without saying, but I have to say it.

If they have not married you, don’t touch. One of the most taboo discussions in the church is sexual abuse. 1/5 women have been sexual assaulted, 3/5 have been harassed, and its not because of what they had on its because men don’t know how to keep their hands to their self.

4. Keep Your Vows

Do you, person, take this other person, to be your lawfully wedded person, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part…and we all said “I do”. What is missing in the marriage vows, is the promise to remain faithful. Interesting isn't it.

Then Jesus gets the end result of adultery. The severing of the marriage. And now Jesus has to also check the ego and motives of the men. First let me acknowledged that divorce is real and very much apart of our culture. It is recorded that 33% of all adults have been divorced. And it is calculated that approximately 49% of all first marriages will end in divorce. More troubling than that is the statistics don’t change for that of profession Christians. We divorce at the same rate as the rest of the world. And Malachi 2:16 lets us now that in some way, God is not pleased with divorce. But he also understands there is a time for it. (explain what the men were doing with divorce) Jesus is protecting the women, not excusing abuse.

If you think that this thing is too hard, you make a strong argument. But, when it gets tough in your heart, and tough in your marriage remember this thing. That Jesus knows what its like to have an unfaithful bride. Because Jesus is not coming back for a girlfriend or boyfriend, hes not coming back, for a partner, Jesus is coming back for his bride, a church without spot or blemish, washed in his blood. And IF Jesus can be faithful when we are faithless, He is our example how to love and not lust. Now we live a life empowered by the Spirit that pleases God.