Dealing with Disappointments

TEXT:             1 Samuel 8:1-22

E.T.S.:             Samuel experienced a series of personal and professional disappointments in fulfilling his ministry.

THESIS:         Trusting God in spite of disappointments can lead us into greater service to God.

PURPOSE:     M.O. Supportive

                        S.O.  Seek God, and trust Him, when disappointments strike.

TITLE:            Dealing With Disappointment

OUTLINE

Introduction. Opportunities often come in disguise. E.T.S. Samuel couldn’t have been more disappointed. Yet God was in charge in spite of them all. THESIS.

1. Disappointment over age (8:1a).

1. Disappointment in children (8:1b-3).

1. Disappointment in people (8:4-20)

1. Disappointment in God (8:21-22)

1. God was ready to do a new thing. (8:7).
   
   

Conclusion. Disappointments can be opportunities in disguise. Trust in God when we’re at the end of our rope can be a new beginning. THESIS.

DEALING WITH DISAPPOINTMENT

1 Samuel 8:1-22

Opportunities often come in disguise. Kay Arthur tells how bitterly disappointed she was when she contracted a heart infection that caused her to have to leave the mission field in Mexico. “I felt like a failure,” she wrote. “Depression set in until I cried, ‘Father, whatever you want.’”

She continued: “It would be several years before I’d see how He’d use those formative years of study in Mexico to prepare me to write inductive Bible studies that would eventually reach fifty-two countries.”

“My disappointments aren’t over,” Kay admits. “Pains and trials are almost constant companions, but never enemies. They drive me into His sovereign arms. There He takes my disappointments and works everything together for good.”

God took Kay Arthur’s disappointment and turned it into a blessing for the world.

Experiencing disappointment is one of life’s trials we would rather not experience. Yet at some time or the other we all will experience it. Life disappoints us. People disappoint us, even those closest to us. We even disappoint ourselves.

Like Kay Arthur, Samuel experienced a series of personal and professional disappointments in fulfilling his ministry as a judge of Israel. What seemed devastating to Samuel, God used to bless the entire world. God was in control in spite of Samuel’s disappointments.

What were the disappointments Samuel experienced in his personal life and in his ministry? (1) Chapter eight, verse one, tells us that Samuel had to deal with the disappointments brought on by old age. (2) Verses 1b-3 tell us that Samuel was disappointed in his two sons, Joel and Abijah, who he had appointed priests and judges to serve in Beersheba.  (3) Verses 4-20 tell us Samuel was disappointed with the Israelites. (4) Finally, Samuel was disappointed at God for agreeing to let the people have their way.

Samuel dealt with these disappointments as one whose life was controlled by God. Rather than turn from God in bitterness, Samuel turned to God in prayer (cf., v. 6b). By doing so, Samuel unknowingly participated in events that literally changed the course of history.

We can learn to deal with our disappointments in life by considering Samuel’s own struggle with disappointment. We learn from Samuel that trusting God in spite of disappointments can lead us into greater service to God.

Disappointment over age (8:1a)

Samuel was an old man when the people came to him and asked for a human king to rule over them. At the stage of life when many of us would be sitting back in our easy chair, reminiscing about past events, Samuel was about to begin the most significant part of his life and ministry. Unlike some of us who long to retire, but circumstance and/or necessity prevents it, Samuel was about to become involved in a scenario he could never have imagined. His people were about to reject God’s direct rule as King over them, and his rule as judge. His own ego took a direct blow, and so did his passion for God’s kingly rule.

You can imagine Samuel thinking, “Well, now you are trying to move me out to pasture. Well I will show you!” Yet he did not do that. In spite of his own feelings, instead of lashing out in anger, or taking it personally that the people actually said to his face that “You are old,” Samuel took the matter to God in prayer. By doing this, Samuel revealed a high level of self-control. Through prayer Samuel let go of his frustrations and grabbed hold of God. He was not ready to be put out to pasture, and neither was God. God needed him more now than He ever had before.

George Matheson, the blind poet and hymn writer, wrote that, “The cure for age is interest and enthusiasm and work. Life’s evening will take its character from the day which had preceded it.” Yes, Samuel was old, but he was not “put-out-to-pasture old!” He was a lot like Pearl Buck, who said, “I have learned so much since I was seventy.”

Overcoming disappointments associated with old age is not easy. But just like God was about to use Samuel to change history, so God can use us for His glory when we turn to Him in prayerful faith, practice self-control, and do not let old age dampen our interest and enthusiasm for life and serving God.

Disappointment in children (8:1b-3)

Samuel’s two sons, Joel and Abijah, were classic PKs (preacher’s kids). Samuel, no doubt exercising his power, had appointed his sons as priests and judges at Beersheba, which was the most southern district of Israel. As the writer of the Books of Samuel put it, “…his sons did not walk in his ways. They turned aside after dishonest gain and accepted bribes and perverted justice.”

It’s not unusual for a sterling leader to have children who lack integrity. But the problem is not limited to leaders. It happens to parents from every walk of life. Instead of earning the power and authority they possessed as leaders, as their dad had done (read chapter twelve for Samuel’s defense of his own integrity), Joel and Abijah thought they deserved it by being sons of THE GREAT SAMUEL. Apparently, they gave in to the temptation to use their power and authority for their own advantage. In the process, the people lost all faith in them as dispensers of true justice.

It’s interesting how much Joel and Abijah were like Eli’s sons, Hophni and Phinehas. (You can read about them in chapter 2, verses 12ff.) Kenneth Chapin has written that, “…religion that moved from vitality to form to farce were the children of Eli and Samuel.” God laid the blame for Hophni and Phinehas’s sins at the feet of their father, Eli, and eventually judged him and his sons. Was Samuel to blame for his sons’ sins? Had Samuel been so busy carrying out his ministry that he pretty much ignored them? Did he possess the “Cats in the Cradle” syndrome, as Harry Chapin sung it in his song? The text does not tell us. We have every reason to believe that Samuel was a good father, and that Joel and Abijah simply chose to go their own way, and not God’s way, which was Samuel’s way. Anyway, God is not wishy-washy when it comes to judgment. He does not judge one person for a sin and let another get away with it. Had Samuel been guilty like Eli, he would have been judged as Eli was.

Surely Samuel was disappointed with his sons. What self-respecting father would not be? After all, he found himself in this situation partly because of them. The elders had said to him, “Your sons do not walk in your ways.” That’s the nice way of saying, “You are old and are going to die, and your sons are not fit to fill your shoes. Now appoint a king to lead us, such as all the other nations have.” Though, I’m sure, Samuel hated to do what they asked, he could see their point.

It may be that your children have disappointed you. Perhaps you dealt with them your own way.  We do not know how Samuel death with Joel and Abijah. We do, however, know how Samuel dealt with his disappointment over his sons. He brought the truth of what his sons were doing before God, which God, of course, already knew, and submitted himself, his sons, and his ministry to God. He knew God would deal with the situation with perfect justice. And God did.

When your children are grown, and choose to go a way in life that is not your way, you naturally are disappointed. Does that mean you’ve failed as a parent? No. Does it mean that your children are beyond hope? No. What it means is that you are going to need to trust them to God’s care even more. When you do that, you place yourself, and your child, in a position where God can do more than you can even ask or think of asking.

Disappointment in people (8:4-20)

He was old. He seemingly had failed as a father. What other kind of disappointment could Samuel possibly experience? Well, sandwiched between these first two disappointments is his disappointment with God’s people. They rejected his rule over them as judge. It’s as if the people said, “We are no longer satisfied with your kind of leadership.”

Samuel was hurt personally over the people’s request. He was hurt even more because they rejected God’s direct rule over them through Samuel. Samuel knew the last thing they needed was a human king. And, after all, God’s intention for Israel was that she not be like other nations. She was to live by His direct rule alone. So, in verse 20, after Samuel had warned the people of the negative consequences of a human king ruling over them, the people countered, “No! We want a king…to lead us and to go out before us and fight our battles.” That is exactly what Samuel had done throughout his service as judge of Israel. Now the people wanted one an earthly king, to do the same things. They were rebelling against God’s will.

As I was preparing this sermon, I could not help but think of one of our sister churches that is embroiled in a controversy with their pastor. He’s suing them, and they are suing him. That friends, is a direct rejecting of Jesus’ instructions on how to deal with such matters, as written in Matthew 18:15ff. The apostle Paul gives Spirit-inspired advice about this very issue in 1 Corinthians 6. Paul says it is a shameful act for Christians to engage in, and only brings shame on the church from unbelievers.

If you stay in the church long enough, you will experience disappointment with God’s people. We are, after all, forgiven but not perfect! You will wonder how God’s people could act they way they do. Many Christians opt out of the organized church altogether as a result of such disappointments. But leaving never solves anything. It only causes more hurt and pain, which I am sure pleases Satan.

As we see in Samuel, exiting the situation in anger, or condemning people out of righteous indignation, isn’t the answer to dealing with disappointment. The answer is to love one another in spite of our faults, speak the truth in love regarding what God’s will is revealed to be, turn the entire situation over to God in prayer, and then trust Him to use it for good to all concerned.

Disappointment in God (8:21-22)

You would think that prayer is the one place where you always can find the consolation from disappointment you seek. Yet that may not always be the case. Through prayer, God may tell you something that you do not want to hear, and/or tell you to do something you do not want to do. That’s what happened to Samuel when he brought the people’s request to God in prayer.

Samuel prayed, and God told him to do what the people asked! You could probably imagine Samuel’s thoughts. “What? You want me to do what? You cannot mean it? Sure, I will be glad to say to them what you want. I’ll paint for them the bleakest picture of what they are getting themselves into you can imagine, but let them have their way? God, are you okay? Have you forgotten your commands?”

I have a suspicion that Samuel’s attitude was not quite what it ought to be when he knelt to pray. Robert Morgan tells about a night he spent in a crumbling hotel in Porto Alegre, Brazil. He and a friend went to their room, high in the hotel, in a tiny, creaking elevator. From the window in his room he saw slums spreading for miles, and felt uneasy about it all. That evening he prayed, “Lord, please save me from any danger of fire. You can see we’re at the top of a dilapidated hotel, which is nothing but a firetrap. There isn’t a fire station near, and I can’t see any fire escapes outside the building. Lord, you know that this building would go up in flames in a second, and at this very moment is probably full of people falling asleep with Marlboros in their mouths. . .”

Morgan said that by the time he finished praying, he was a nervous wreck. He did not sleep a wink all night. The next morning, he evaluated the previous evening. He realized that his bedtime prayer had focused on his negative feelings rather than on God’s assurances and promises. He had learned an important truth: Unless we plead in faith, our prayers can do more harm than good.

Morgan’s prayer was totally self-serving, and showed very little trust in God. Samuel’s prayer was not self-serving, but God serving. How do we know? Because he got up and went and did all that the Lord had commanded him to do, even when he did not understand, or agree with, God’s command.

We have prayed selfish prayers before, haven’t we? “God, I want you…God, will you?…God, when are you?…rather than “God, I trust you…” It’s a lot easier to ask for God to help us, even when we are in distress, than it is to trust God and do what He commands, when we are under stress.

Ruth Bell Graham is credited with saying, “Pray when you feel like it, for it is a sin to neglect such an opportunity. Pray when you don’t feel like it, for it is dangerous to remain in such a condition.”

When disappointment strikes, even when God is the object of your disappointment, pray and trust God to lead you out of it. When you do not understand, and cannot see the full picture, pray and trust God to guide you in spite of your inability to understand.

Do not think that any person or situation that disappoints us can keep God from fulfilling His will. In spite of the fact that Israel was rejecting God as king, God knew that their rejection of His leadership, and that of Samuel, would put in place the events that would eventually result in the coming of Jesus Christ and the salvation of the world.

Though Samuel could not see it, God was ready to do a new thing. He was ready to allow His people to learn the hard way that He is the King of Kings and Lord of Lord.

Samuel experienced a lot of disappointments as he worked to carry out God’s will. But, in the process, he learned to deal with his disappointments in a constructive way. He also became one of God’s choicest servants.

Trusting God in spite of disappointments can lead us into greater service to God. And learning to deal with disappointment can help us hang in there as God works His will.

Seek God, and trust Him, when disappointments strike. You will be much more able to deal with them, and you will be much more able to serve God in the future.