Sermon Tone Analysis

What is Love?

When the mood strikes me, I can really enjoy a good, mushy, love song.

You know what I mean?

One of my favorites is by the singer Bett Midler.

In her song, The Rose, she compares love to many things.

A river that drowns reeds.

A razor that cuts.

An aching hunger.

Then she insists that it is a flower.

The world often defines love along these terms.

The Bible uses 7 different words for love, which I’m sure that you are familiar with, at least several of.

There’s Eros, or romantic and passionate love.

The love one has for a spouse, especially at the beginning of a marriage.

Then there’s Philia, the kind of love that authentic friendship espouses.

Then there’s Ludus, or flirtatious or playful love, often referred to as “puppy love;” that kind of love that’s fleeting and the sort of “love” that describes a crush.

Next is Storge, or unconditional familial love; the love of a parent and child.

Next, we have Philautia, or self love.

I don’t think we have to go over that one very much; it’s pretty self explanatory.

Then we have Pragma, or committed companionate love, the kind of love that follows Eros, as a couple learns to truly cherish, honor, and respect one another.

Then you have the last word for love in the New Testament: agape.

Many of you know this word.

It conveys “to have love for someone or something, based on sincere appreciation and high regard”1 That’s a tall order of love, isn’t it, Saints?

I mean, when do we use this word, generally speaking?

When we talk about God’s love for us or what should be our love of God.

Today, brothers and sisters, I am going to give you a new context for this word.

Or perhaps a new take on an old context.

Turn with me to our Scripture Reading for today, Ephesians 5:22-28 (I’m reading from the ESV today) - “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.

He who loves his wife loves himself.”

Yup, on the occasion of this being Valentine’s Day weekend, we’re going to talk about romantic relational love and how it relates to Christ’s love for us and our love of Him.

As we are talking about love, I want to first define love, within the context of the sort of love we are talking about today.

Does anyone want to hazard a guess as to what Bible verse I’m going to now ask you all to turn to?

Yes, that’s right, let’s talk about 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a for a short bit: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends.”

What kind of love is being discussed here?

Agape love.

This is the sort of love that God calls us to have for each other.

In John’s gospel, Jesus spells it out so very clearly and tells us to “Love one another as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

(John 13:34-35).

And this love isn’t just for each other, meaning believers.

No! Matthew 5:44 tells us to agape our enemies!

SO, now that we have defined love, lets’ look at our verse today in the context of a relationship.

Love is relational, love has rules, and love requires sacrifices.

1 Johannes P. Louw and Eugene Albert Nida, in Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament: Based on Semantic Domains (New York: United Bible Societies, 1996), 292.

All You Need is Love

You know, relationships are hard, and I believe that this applies especially to marriages.

Think about when you and your other half were dating or courting.

What was life like then?

Things were pretty easy, right?

I mean, guys, we were constantly on the worry about how we looked, how we treated our special lady, and how we smelled.

Let’s be real: we wanted to make a consistent good impression.

How many people here were wealthy or very well off when they were dating?

Did that change at all when you first got married?

NO!

You were broke!

You didn’t have anything and it was okay!

You were married and finally got to do that one thing that you waited for marriage to do.

You know what I’m talking about…But marriage is hard.

It was easier when you did not know anything about each other’s bad habits, or annoying idiosyncrasies.

How easy is it to see the trats that you used to see as being so cute and/or endearing as becoming something close to a deal-breaker?

Her outspoken and independent nature has just now become loud and obnoxious.

That adorable way she would take food off of your plate during dinner is now annoying and irritating.

Speaking of dinner, have any of you gentlemen had the following conversation: “Hey sweetie, what do you want for dinner?”

“Oh, anything sounds good.

I’m just hungry.”

“Okay, what about [insert name of restaurant you like here]?” “Oh, absolutely not, I hate that place!” “Oh, okay, and then where do you want to go?” “Oh, anywhere.”

And it doesn’t have to be so dramatic; spontaneity becomes reckless and responsible, their feet on the dash is no longer hot and attractive, but just another distraction in your already busy life, or their endearing stubbornness has become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity.

But it’s not all that bad.

Usually, it’s a matter of things just being okay.

Not bad and not great, but just okay.

And that stretches on for a few weeks.

Then months.

Then maybe years.

Years of no particular highs or lows.

Love becomes apathy.

Now I want to ask you a poignant question: what does it look like when the relationship is not with you and your spouse, but with you and God?

Jesus tells us that there are two great commandments: Love one another as you love yourself, and Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, body, and soul.

Love is the key word there.

Again, that Agape love.

We are to look at our relationships with each other and with God and not let that relationship go stale!

Let’s look again at our passage: The entire passage relates to how husbands treat their wives and how wives treat their husbands.

It’s relational by nature!

In the beginning, God created man and woman and they were to be equals.

We are always called to go back to that Edinic state as our example for marital relationships.

That said, we are also to go back to that Edinic state for our relationship with GOD! Adam and Eve hung out with God on a day to day basis in the Garden of Eden.

Life was great, and they had a cool relationship with the Lord.

The thing of it is, although we cannot be in God’s physical presence, we can have that same deep and intimate relationship with Jesus.

It takes time, commitment, and a love for Him that requires that we make Him a priority in our lives.

SO, let me ask you this: how much of a priority is your relationship with Jesus?

Is He your first thought on waking and your last thought before sleep?

Do you seek Him and His counsel throughout the day?

If not, why is that?

What, or who for that matter, is getting in the way?

Whatever or whomever it is, it or they should never come before your Savior.