Understanding Love

Ephesians 3:17–19 (ESV)

...that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Tomorrow is a special day. Yes, it is Valentine's Day. But does everyone know the origin of this day? It is a very old tradition which started because of a Bishop named Valentinus. He lived back in the days of the Roman Empire. Long ago, the Roman officials were against young people getting married in the church.

Many young Christians wanted to be married by the priest, in the church, with God's blessing. Valentinus was sympathetic to these people and continued to help marry them, even though he was often threatened by the government authorities. Sadly, he was taken to Rome and put to death for his faith and his defiance of the Emperor's rule. In memory and honor of Saint Valentinus, young couples started talking about choosing a Valentine, when they were actually talking about choosing a bride. Now we call this day, Saint Valentine's Day.

In the modern era, many people give their sweethearts Valentine's Day cards with hearts all over them. Some people give candies or flowers. A red carnation or a red rose means "I love you." These are all ways that people show their love.

But God also gave us a gift to show us that He loved us. God gave us Jesus as a way of saying, "I love you and you are special to me." That is a really great gift, isn't it? Much better than cards, or candy, or flowers.

Today, let us meditate on biblical love, the greatest love of all time. In the book of Romans, Paul tells us something about Love:

Romans 8:34–35 ESV

Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?

As children of God, we understand the fact that the root and foundation of creation is love. It "surpasses knowledge." We know about human love. Human love comes with the understanding that love comes as a reward for being good, for being faithful, for being kind, for giving gifts, and for acting with appropriate behavior. But this is not the same as the love which is embedded in the foundation of creation. This is not the love that surpasses knowledge. This is not the love that Paul prays we might have the power to grasp.

God’s love flows freely, without consideration of reward or a plan of compensation. This is a love that is not inherent to human nature. We are more inclined to return love for love. But the Scripture says,

1 Peter 2:20–21 ESV

For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.

If we are to approach love in the way of biblical love, we must meditate on what it means when the Bible says, we must love each other as ourselves.

John 15:13–17 ESV

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another.

Today, I would like to meditate on 3 questions about this amazing kind of love. The first question is this:

Where Does Love Come From?

Now some of you would answer, ‘that’s easy--it comes from within.’ Some may say, ‘It’s something that happens naturally as we mature as human beings.’ However, remember how hard it is to teach children to share? That sharing instinct is not natural to them, but it is taught. A human instinct is: self-survival.

C.S. Lewis, the famed English scholar, studied the various Greek words for love. He came to distinguish the difference between what he called “needed love” and “gift love.” Needed love is described as self-evident. It is the most common kind of love in our world. It is a mortal and human concept of love. I love you, BECAUSE you love me. I love you, because you provide for me, because you support me, and because you meet my needs. Lewis illustrates that when we humans say to another, “I love you,” what we are really meaning is, “I need you, I want you. You hold value in my life.”

Now in contrast to “needed love” Lewis describes “gift love.” This form of loving is born of fullness and wholeness. The goal of gift love is to enrich and enhance the person whom it loves. It does not require anything in return, nor does it hold requirements. “Gift love moves out to bless and to increase rather than to acquire or to diminish. Gift love is more like a bountiful, artesian well that continues to overflow than a vacuum or a black hole. (C.S. Lewis)” Lewis concludes that this is what God’s love is all about. God’s love is gift love, not needed love. This, of course, is the meaning of agape love; unconditional love.

Are we capable of agape love-- loving as God loves? To an extent we are. But, we must go to the source of love, and the source of all love is God. Perfect love does not come from within, it comes from above. And when God lives within us, we become capable of expressing perfect love.

Please turn with me to 1 John 4:7-11. In his first epistle, John writes,

1 John 4:7–8 ESV

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.

The second question is:

What does Love Look Like?

A young girl came home one day bursting with good news. "Mom, I know why we had to learn grammar!" she exclaimed. "It is so we can understand God." Her mom gave her a puzzled look, so the young girl explained. "God is love, and love can be a noun, an adjective, an adverb, or a verb." What a powerful concept! To thois of you that need a refresher on your grammar, that is a thing, a description, an action,and a description of an action. Love isn't just a vague feeling. It is an action, an attitude, a spirit, and a character trait.

Since Jesus was filled with the Spirit of God, his every attitude, thought, word, and deed was motivated by love. He was motivated completely and without reservation by love. You want to know what Love looks like....its a thing an action, a dsecription of actions.

So, what does love look like? Gift love is best illustrated with Jesus, a blameless man, hanging on a cross simply and solely because of God’s love for us. We cannot meet any of God’s needs or even all of God’s commands. But God’s nature is to give love, unconditionally, even at times when we do not deserve it. As John writes,

1 John 4:9–10 ESV

In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

God’s gift love is a pure and perfect love. It is an unconditional, never-ending, and everlasting kind of love. It does not ask for you to meet up to requirements, and it does not ask for compensation. No matter how many times we sin or fall short of the Glory of God, His love never left us. No matter how many times the world rebuked Him, His love never left us. What does love look like? There is no greater and powerful image than Jesus on the cross. That is perfect love.

Perfect love looks like God, for He is love. God and love are not two realities; they are one. God’s infinite power of being is: the infinite power of love. In every movement of love we are dwelling in God and God in us. And when we accept the Holy Spirit into our lives, we allow God’s perfect love to be pictured through us. We can also illustrate perfect love through the way we live. Through every attitude, thought, word, and deed, we have. Christians are called to be a reflection of the image of God. We reflect God’s perfect love so that others can also see what true perfect love looks like. Love unconditionally to all.

Now, the third and last question is:

What does such Love require from us?

Jesus answers this question in John 15:13-17,

John 15:13–17 ESV

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another.

Jesus issued the command: “Love each other as I have loved you.” We are required by God’s command to love others as he has loved us--not with needed love, but with gift love. Not because of anything they can or have done for us, but because of what Christ has done for us. The world lives by the philosophy: “Scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.” Christ says to do good for people who are incapable of doing anything for you in return. This is gift love, agape love. It is the love of God.

And of course, dear brother and sisters, this is the hardest form of love to give. It is hard to love someone unconditionally when they cannot do the same for you. But when the Spirit of the Lord is within, He will give you the strength to love. The strength to be patient and compassionate. The strength to reflect agape love to others who do not know God. For the greatest command was to love God, and the second greatest command was to love one another.

Conclusion

Valentines is known as the day of love. But God’s love lasts for eternity. It is a perfect that loves unconditionally.

Where does perfect love come from? It comes from God alone, and works within us when we become His children. What does perfect love look like? It looks like Jesus, a blameless man, hanging on a cross, for a world which did not deserve Him. And as His children we reflect that image through our attitude, thoughts, words, and deeds. And what does such perfect love require out of us? It requires us to move beyond “needed love” and give “gift love”. To look around at others who are in need of God’s love and to give it to them--not asking what they can do for us, but remembering what Christ has done for us.

“This is my command,” Jesus said to his disciples, and also to us: “Love each other just as I have loved you.” Amen.