Don't Be Disengenuous! - So I'm a Church Member... Now What? Part 4

9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

Pray

Loving others can be extremely difficult at times. Even people we generally like can sometimes be difficult to love. The main reason we run into difficulties in loving others is sin, both ours and that of those we try to love.

It is important to always remember… especially in those times when a brother or sister is difficult to love that humans are fallen creatures. Apart from God and His power, we are selfish, and loving ourselves comes much more naturally than loving others.

But love is not selfish; it seeks the best for others (1 Corinthians 13:5; Philippians 2:3). Battling both our own selfishness and sin tendencies and dealing with the selfishness and sin tendencies of others can make love a chore.

Another reason it can be difficult for us to love others is that we sometimes misunderstand what true love is. We tend to think of love as primarily an emotional response. The problem is that we cannot always control our emotions. We can certainly control what we do because of the emotions, but too often the emotions themselves just happen. But the kind of love God calls us to have for others is the same kind that He has for us. It is agape love, the essence of which is sacrifice. God’s love for us is a sacrificial love, the kind that sent Him to the cross for our sins. He didn’t save us because we were lovable; He saved us because His love caused Him to sacrifice Himself for us. Do we love others enough to sacrifice for them, even when they are not lovable? Loving others is a matter of the will and the volition, not the emotions. Remember our definition of agape from last week? When the word “agape” is used in the Bible, it refers to

A pure, willful, sacrificial love that intentionally desires another’s highest good.

Part of the difficulty of loving others is that we often try to do it on our own, in our own power, whipping up feelings of love where there aren’t any. Anyone been there? I have… I’ve spent a lot of time there actually. And it never feels right. And there is a reason for it. It’s hypocritical. “Play acting” the part of the loving person is hypocritical. When our hearts are really cold toward him or her. We must understand that we cannot love apart from God. It must be a miraculous work of God in us to do this.

This brings us to our passage today… which begins with Romans 12:9

Romans 12:9 ESV

9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.

Before we go any further, let’s make sure that we know what genuine love looks like, shall we?

And where, do you know, is the best place to find a good description of genuine agape love? Yes, 1 Corinthians 13. We’ll read the verse 1-7 chapter begins by showing us how critical love is to our living out our Christian existence. All our fervor, all the application of our spiritual gifting, all our generosity is worthless if we do not agape. Then Paul identifies the markers or the characteristics of genuine (sincere, not hypocritical, not fake, not pretend) love.

1 Corinthians 13:1–7 ESV

1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Keep in mind those things we just read… about genuine agape love, and let’s go back and read our passage today. Mind you, the bible speaks in 16-18 different passages about us agape-ing one another. We’re just touching on a few.

Also keep in mind that our passage in Romans 12 has as it foundation genuine agape love. Romans 12:9-13

Romans 12:9–13 ESV

We’ll break this down thought by thought… all of it under the umbrella of agape love for one another.

First, “love must be genuine” (v. 9). We’ve talked about this already. The Greek word is, “ani- poe- kritos”, it means the antithesis of hypocritical, not fake, not pretended… sincere.

As we have learned already… this kind of love has little to do with sentiment, but a lot to do with determination, commitment, decision. Let me repeat our definition of agape love...

A pure, willful, sacrificial love that intentionally desires another’s highest good.

Paul continues...

Romans 12:9 ESV

9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.

This love abhors evil. This literally means that one who is loving genuinely finds morally objectionable behavior repugnant. This form of the word evil speaks of acts or behaviors that are hurtful in their influence. This is talking about behaviors that are bad, hurtful, grievous, harmful, lewd, malicious, and wicked. This word refers to behaviors that cause others anguish or pain. One who is loving detests that kind of behavior… not practices it.

Instead one who loves with a genuine agape love clings to behavior that is good… things that are morally excellent and admirable; actions that benefit the other. That is what this verse is talking about.

Verse 10...

Romans 12:10 ESV

10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

This literally says that we are to, dearly and devotedly (like your immediate family), love one another with an affection naturally befitting the relationship between brothers. In other words, to treat your brother or sister in Christ as if they were a part of your immediate family. It means “to like” another person and to want what is best for that individual.

And the Paul says that, in that brotherly love, we are to OUTDO one another in showing honor.

Now, you and I both know that competition often arises between siblings. This word “OUTDO” speaks of that “competition.” Paul tells us to “OUTDO” and what that word means it to be ahead of others… to be the first one to show your brothers and sisters in Christ honor. The word honor means the state of being highly respected. Honoring each other in this way makes the person feel valued. And remember… this is all under the influence of a love that is not fake, a love that is genuine.

So, really you could say that genuine love is being a devoted friend.

Next verse. Verse 11...

Romans 12:11 ESV

11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.

This really speaks about the energy and the impetus behind our actions. It identifies the attitude by which we should be doing these things… loving, holding to what is good and running from, detesting evil, harmful actions, being a devoted friend, loving like family those HERE at UpRiver Bible Church. Verse 11 tells us that we should not be reluctant to love like this. We should instead be eager to love like this. In fact, the word “fervent” means to be inflamed… to boil over with eagerness to honor, serve, love one another… AS TO THE LORD.

This is not a concept that is foreign to Scripture… this doing our lives as if what we are doing is to the Lord.

It is to be the way we approach life...

1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV

31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

Especially in our relationships. Wives to their husbands...

Ephesians 5:22 ESV

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

With our bosses...

Ephesians 6:5 ESV

5 Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ,

Again, in relationship with one another, as brothers and sisters in Christ...

Colossians 3:17 ESV

17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

And we’re to do with heartily...

Colossians 3:23 ESV

23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,

As we love one another genuinely, as we serve one another, as we honor one another, we do so because we are serving our KING. Jesus!

Living this way helps us with our emotions. Let’s look at verse 12.

Romans 12:12 ESV

12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

This verse tells us that are to feel happiness and joy (rejoice) in the general feeling that our godly desires will be fulfilled. Hope first in being a child of God, hope in our salvation through Jesus Christ, hope that in being obedient to Christ’s commands His plan will be fulfilled, hope that as we love this way Christ is glorified and that the world around sees that Jesus is REAL. That’w what it means to rejoice in hope.

We are also to be patient when things don’t go as we had hoped. The word “patient” means to persevere… to keep going even when it’s hard. We don’t stop loving, even when others don’t respond the way we think or know they should. We are patient when we are going through troubles whether its physical, mental, social, or economic adversity. We keep loving, we keep honoring, we keep serving… all for the sake of Christ, all for His glory.

And we are not to stop praying. Now, this prayer is a specific kind of prayer. It means “petition.” And in this context it means “O God, bless my brother (or sister… you know what I mean), help my love to get through to him/her. Help her trust you, touch them with your grace and mercy. See them through this difficulty. Help me keep loving them with a love that is pure, and willful. Help me to love them even when it hurts to do so. Father help me to want their highest good. Help me to seek that for them. Help me to know what that looks like. I rejoice in the work you’ve already done. I rejoice in knowing that your Word says that you will bring your good work in them to completion. Use me in that process however you desire Lord.

That is what it looks like to rejoice in hope, being patient in tribulation, and constant in prayer… within the context of this passage of loving genuinely. Do you see how it helps us with our emotions?

When we are loving genuinely with a love that is pure, willful, sacrificial and that intentionally desires another’s highest good we aren’t affected by their actions or reactions, good or bad.

It steadies us when we are tempted to go back to loving like a fallen human, selfishly, and deceptively, for our own good. When we love like that, and people don’t respond the way we think they should we get our noses out of joint; we pout, we hold grudges, we stay home from church, we avoid the different gatherings of the church; we get resentful and bitter. Pretty soon we find ourselves wanting to go to another church or start our own church.

Oh church… HOW WE NEED THIS KIND OF LOVE HERE, NOW, IMMEDIATELY… AND CONSTANTLY!

Can you imagine what this looks like… to love each other this way? How encouraging, how joyous!

This is exactly what Paul is getting at as he encouraged the believer in the church in Philippi...

Philippians 2:1–4 ESV

1 So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, 2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

“let each of you look And this brings us to our last verse this morning.

Romans 12:13 ESV

13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

In our genuine love for one another we are to be attentive to the needs of one another. What is ment by needs? It means anything that is necessary but lacking. Jesus uses this same word when he tells two of his disciples to buy whatever is needed for the passover feast. This could mean money to pay a bill, it could mean a meal because of a new baby in the family, or because of an illness. It could mean showing up and doing some cleaning for someone who is out of commission for a time. Could mean packing in firewood, or doing some laundry, or fixing a flat tire, or changing oil, or a burned out light bulb. It takes knowing one another and what is going on in each other’s lives.

And so, I am to be so familiar with you that I know when you are lacking necessary things. You are to be so familiar with me that you know when I am lacking necessary things. This cannot be done when we are not familiar with one another. But how do we get “familiar” with one another. I can tell us this… seeing one another at church once or twice a week doesn’t cut it. It’s a start. But there must be more!

And that is where the last part of verse 13 comes into play.

SEEK TO SHOW HOSPITALITY!

The first word I want to look at is “seek.” This means “to pursue.” It is a verbs… which means it requires action. It requires “doing.” Not thinking, not planning, not wishing. It is doing. Doing hospitality. And what is that? The word hospitality means...

Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament based on Semantic Domains 34.57 ξενίζω; ξενοδοχέω; φιλοξενία, ας; ξενία, ας

to receive and show hospitality to a stranger, that is, someone who is not regarded as a member of the extended family or a close friend

Literally hospitality means “welcoming in kindness” someone who is not a member of your biological family or one of your close friends. Now, this attitude and disposition can be achieved anywhere you are… but through out the Scriptures, Old and New Testament, hospitality took place in your home.

The command for the church here is to have one another in our homes. This is how we get to know one another and can become aware of needs that we can contribute toward, whether they be physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual.

Here lies part of the problem. We don’t want to be known. In order to know others we find ourselves also being known. It can be a fruit of the “individualistic Christianity” that is so prevalent in the modern church. But it also be the fruit of thinking that we are not good enough to be known, or that if people get close to us and know us they won’t like us.

Or it can just be a fruit of laziness, greed and selfishness… and a willing disobedience to the commands that God has given us. No matter the reason, we are told to be hospitable to one another as an aspect of genuine love.

In fact, hospitality is so important for this knowing and being known aspect that elders are COMMANDED to be hospitable. This is how the church can observe them in action, it is how they are known so that an elder can be an example.

1 Peter 5:2–3 ESV

2 shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; 3 not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.

You cannot imitate the lives of the elders if you don’t know us, and see us in action with our families. This is such an important aspect of church life that being hospitable… having more than family and close friends in your home is a qualification for being an elder.

Hospitality in the Bible involved offering what was yours (within Biblical confines) to your guests. Often this included lodging, food for livestock, meals together, rest, and respite.

What does that look like today, in the church, as a means of getting to know one another?

Pretty much, it means having other people from the church in your home. Probably is going to include a meal. Not always. It could mean coffee, it could mean tea and cookies. It could mean on the porch or on the deck, or in your living room, or out in the yard. There are many angles that hospitality can be approached from. But what it always includes is having people other than your family and your close friends in your home.

I think, if we just do these things in loving one another. We will have plenty to do. And if we are doing them… we will be fulfilling the commands of Scripture for loving one another.