True Eros vs Erotica

Text: Song of Solomon 1:2–4, 8:7

Song of Solomon 1:2–4 NLT

2 Kiss me and kiss me again, for your love is sweeter than wine. 3 How pleasing is your fragrance; your name is like the spreading fragrance of scented oils. No wonder all the young women love you! 4 Take me with you; come, let’s run! The king has brought me into his bedroom. How happy we are for you, O king. We praise your love even more than wine. How right they are to adore you.

Topic(s): Eros, Marriage, Christ the Bridegroom

Big Idea of the Message: The physical, sensual, and spiritual intimacy that a husband and wife experience within marriage is the same love with which Christ loves the church.

Application Point: Determine how the physical, sensual, and spiritual intimacy of marriage translates to the church’s relationship with Christ, versus the world’s present day concept of it and how it is destroying it.

Sermon Ideas and Talking Points:

Eros is the Greek word used to describe the physical attraction that occurs between two people. In ancient Greek mythology, Eros was the son of Aphrodite, the goddess of love. The Romans called Eros Cupid. One of the most interesting things about the word “eros” is that it does not appear in the New Testament; rather, it appears predominately within the Greek translation of the Song of Solomon in the Old Testament (Heather Riggleman, “What Is the Meaning and Significance of Eros (God’s Love) in the Bible?,” Christianity.com, December 2, 2019,

Pastor/ AuthorChuck Swindoll writes, “The original Hebrew version of the book took its title from the book’s first two words, shiyr hashiyrim, usually translated as ‘the song of songs.’ This latter title remained in Greek and Latin Bible translations in later centuries. The repetition of the word song indicates that the writer considered this ‘the greatest of all songs.’ We find a similar construction in other famous biblical phrases: Lord of Lords, King of Kings, and Holy of Holies, to name a few” (Chuck Swindoll, “Song of Solomon,” Insight for Living, https://www.insight.org/resources/bible/the-wisdom-books/song-of-solomon).

Getting to the root of eros in the Bible can be tricky, particularly because in modern times the words erotic and erotica have made eros itself seem vulgar and un-Christian; we have connected the word to the idea of frenzied and unchecked physical passion (Riggleman, “Eros”). But within Song of Solomon we see something different. As Pope Benedict XVI wrote, “God is the absolute and ultimate source of all being; but … is at the same time a lover with all the passion of a true love. Eros is thus supremely ennobled, yet at the same time it is so purified as to become one with agape. We can thus see how the reception of the Song of Songs in the canon of sacred Scripture was soon explained by the idea that these love songs ultimately describe God’s relation to man and man’s relation to God. Thus the Song of Songs became, both in Christian and Jewish literature, a source of mystical knowledge and experience, an expression of the essence of biblical faith: that man can indeed enter into union with God”

It is clear that Song of Solomon is meant to portray a beautiful vision of love with multiple layers of meaning. One layer is the most obvious: it’s a love poem about a man and woman falling in love, marrying, and consummating their marriage. The other layer is that allegorically the Song of Solomon has been seen as a metaphor of God’s love for the children of Israel and Christ’s love for the church (Swindoll, “Song of Solomon”).

Eros, while not specifically named in the New Testament, is alluded to in several ways. Jack Zavada notes a few examples: in 1 Corinthians 7:8–9, Paul says that it’s better for the unmarried or widowed to remain single, unless they cannot exercise self-control—in which case, they should marry. Hebrews 13:4 says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” These two Bible passages are only two of several within the New Testament, which talks about where eros belongs: between a husband and wife.

The HBO miniseries John Adams beautifully portrays the well-rounded love of Adams and his wife, Abigail. Rebecca Florence Miller writes, The Adamses did suffer dry spells, but, on the whole, their attitude toward one another was one of passionate devotion. Their letters to one another are addressed to ‘My dearest friend.’ They write with a deeply devoted romantic affection. They can hardly bear to be apart, despite the necessity of such separations. In one memorable scene, Abigail is finally re-united with John after a long absence and the couple retreat to privately and tenderly make love. This scene is striking because it is not filmed in a gratuitous way, but with enormous intimacy and longing. It is striking because it is not the normal Hollywood hot and heavy love scene, but the quiet knowing of a husband and wife long devoted to each other. It is a love that ‘hopes all things, endures all things, believes all things.’ It is a love that brings such oneness between the couple that when it ends, Abigail confesses to the neglect she has felt, challenges John to do better, and decides not to withhold her love despite his imperfections. There is a reason the Bible refers to sexual relations in this way: ‘He knew his wife.’ It is a euphemism, but a truism. True sexual relations mean that a man and woman come as close to each other as humanly possible. Making love is not only physical, but spiritual and emotional as well. It isn’t air-brushed; it’s real”

After tracing the relationship of Jim and Pam (The Office) from the earliest romantic attraction, to finally getting together, to the struggles of young married life, Amanda Wortham concludes, “What saved Jim and Pam wasn’t a picnic on the roof, a prank on Dwight, or even marriage counseling. What saved them was a quiet fidelity to ordinary responsibilities, the good old basics of relationship building: Eye contact. Clear communication. Thoughtfulness. The resurrection of romance is not in the feelings or the grand gestures; it’s in the ordinary faithfulness of everyday life. It’s in loving your person, taking care of your shared progeny, and making small, tedious decisions every day to turn your house into a home. It’s taking stock of yourself and deciding that your own individual kingdom must be destroyed, that there is a new order that must thrive. It doesn’t mean being half a person; it means dismantling your person and rebuilding a kingdom together”

Song of Solomon 8:7 NLT

7 Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it. If a man tried to buy love with all his wealth, his offer would be utterly scorned.