LiMember - Redemption (Even) For Family

Children’s Sermon

Thankfulness sign on my desk - Thankfulness is the soil in which joy thrives. Amen! Harder with families, but important

Scripture

Acts 16:27-31 - The jailer woke up and saw the prison doors open. He drew his sword and was about to kill himself, assuming the prisoners had all fled (which would have meant a death sentence for him). But Paul shouted, “Don’t do it! We’re all here.” Then he called for lights and rushed in, trembling with fear and falling down before Paul and Silas. He brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” They answered, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.”

Engage

I knew a young lady years ago who was smart, attractive, athletic, and yet was tormented mentally by the circumstances of her family. Her younger brother, a star baseball player, had died in a single car accident (his truck lost control and rolled) a couple of years before I met her. Her parents, especially her dad, had invested a lot emotionally in this boy and his prospects at being a star baseball player beyond small town Missouri. Subtly, it seemed to me they blamed her for the accident in some ways. And, it seemed, she still blamed herself. You see, she and her brother had been arguing about something before he tore out of the house. Was the accident her fault? Of course not. She didn’t choose for him to drive like a fool, he did. Yet, she could seemingly do no right in her parents’ eyes.

What are we to do with family? When family relations are strained, who else can we turn to? What does God say about it?

Encounter

I’m sure most of you know that saying people sometimes use…bless their heart. Usually, in the southern Bible belt part of the country, this saying comes before negative gossip on someone. As in, “You know Mary, bless her heart, she can burn cereal.” Or, “You know Chuck, bless his heart, a box of rocks would score higher on the SAT.” Often times when it comes to family, we speak blessing but in reality assign blame. Often, our assigning of blame is problematic at best and wildly destructive at worst. In the case of Absalom, David blames himself. For those who haven’t been here or don’t remember, Absalom was David’s son who rebelled against him and tried to violently take his throne. Absalom is ultimately killed and David keeps his throne but is, at first, distraught at the loss of his son…even in such circumstances. So, he blames himself. In part, he’s right. His sin with Bathsheba certainly set all of these events in motion…and made him reluctant to properly call out and put and end to sin within his family. But on the whole, he doesn’t assign nearly enough blame to Absalom…who made his own choices.

Tragedy in families is a remarkably equal opportunity offender. Tragedy strikes all kinds…rich, poor, tall, short, large, skinny, all nations, races, and languages. And, tragedy is relative. What might be tragic for one family is nothing for another and vice-versa. An Indian-American friend of mine on social media recently joked that even if he were to serve on the Supreme Court (he’s a lawyer), his family would still question, “No medical degree?” In some families, a B on the report card is beautiful…in others, it’s a breakdown or a blow. If our families are spared from tragedies, it’s only by the grace of God.

When tragedy of most any severity strikes a family, often blame follows. Families are very good at remembering who did what to whom, who is responsible for what and why, etc. As I mentioned in the opening story, often these assignments of blame are flawed at best. Once these blames are set, they are difficult to overcome. We can’t escape family, truly, though some may try. Wherever we go, there we are with our memories intact. How can a family escape these cycles of grief and blame? Only through a new wind, an outside force, a new perspective. Friends, through Christ, blame and guilt can be washed in blessing and grace!

Families try many other methods to deal with blame and grief. In a case like Absalom’s, or many others, people may be tempted to remember things as they were before tragedy struck. Sometimes people keep a child’s room the same as it was before a tragic loss…for years, even. Attempting to hold onto what was lost. The lostness is kept and not the person. I’ve spoken before about a woman we knew years ago who kept her house very much the same as the day her husband walked out…for years. Right down to his slippers, the checkbook, and type of camera she used, you name it. As if time froze for her that day in a way. He was no longer there, but his “lost”ness was visible to all.

There are three parables in Luke referred to as the “Lost” parables. In them items, or people, are lost. The lost sheep, the lost coin, the lost son (aka prodigal son). In none of these cases is Jesus concerned with whose fault it was that the thing was lost. These parables are more about finding than losing. The sheep is found, the owner rejoices. The coin is found, the woman throws a party. The son is found, the father throws a party too…but it’s interesting that the lost parable involving family ends with the murkiest resolution. Because, there’s the brother and his reaction. The brother complains, he’s turned sour, his heart has turned hard toward his brother, you could say. Families are often governed by the past…which can be a strength but also a big problem. The prodigal’s brother allows himself to be controlled by the past and can’t seem to find it in himself to have a new beginning. When families reject redemption, the reason is often a misuse of memory.

The Christian gospel is about rebirth, redemption, grace, love amidst very difficult circumstances. The father in the prodigal son story chooses this path. Don’t you imagine he, of all people, could’ve kept an entire scroll’s worth of misdeeds on his wayward son…and lorded them over him…and hardened his heart? Yet, he chooses rebirth. Redemption is for families and not just individuals!

Our Scripture today illustrates this. The jailor, saved from execution himself, asks a very 21st century type of question… “What must I do to be saved.” Paul tells him, but also makes sure to point out that his salvation is not only for himself, but for his entire household. Friends, there is more than enough of Jesus’s love and grace for any who might seek it!

As we LiMember, live to remember, we ought to be on constant watch for hardened hearts toward people Jesus loves (hint, that’s all people).

David models this for us, though we have an even better model in Jesus himself. Where does David…powerful, at the top of the food chain, so to speak, able to do just about anything he wants, turn to when faced with his own memory of his own transgressions and the reality of the memories of all the destruction he’s caused and is causing? He turns to God!

Here are some excerpts from Psalm 51 -

Have mercy on me, O God…blot out my transgressions…wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin…for I know my transgressions and my sin is ever before me!I’ve sinned against you, God! Teach me wisdom! Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me!

Through God, through Christ, alone, blame and guilt can be washed in blessing and grace!

This is a long game, friends, not a short game. It’s not short. It’s not easy, but it’s important. Opening our hearts to grace can yield eternal joy!

Empower

Analogy of the record. Records, which were big when I was a kid and seem to be making a comeback, are created by grooving vinyl to match the sound produced by the master. I don’t really understand the process…then, a needle travels over the groove to bring the sound back to life for the listener. As the record is played, the needle moves from groove to groove and from the outside of the record toward the inside. The records spin at a revolution of 331/3 revolutions per minute…unless they’re a smaller diameter, and a shorter length, then they might travel at 45 rpm.

I once won a record in a radio contest..I still have it, but I’m not sure where it is…which box. Michael Jackson, Thriller. My dad went and picked it up at Q104 radio in Kansas City and I was so excited! I put it on the player and I’ll be darned if it didn’t have several sticks and skips. One stick I remember was on Wanna Be Starting Something, it would play, and replay, and replay the same several seconds over and over. Sometimes, the needle would find its own way out but most often I’d have to give the needle a little boost to get past the stick…frustrating…but then I figured out why they gave it away! I remember my Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods record had a skip during Billy Don’t Be a Hero...

Friends, families often get stuck or skip…they get stuck in the same old ruts, guided by memory, guilt, blame, and shame. Sometimes they skip over memories that everyone knows…but they sentimentalize and act as if they didn’t happen. Yet, there they are, recorded.

The job of the family is to appeal to the one, the only one, who can give that family needle a little budge, a new wind, a fresh start. Jesus! Jesus can move us all into a new groove, a new track, and continue our journey toward the center of all the universe, the Lord of all the universe, God, Jesus, and the Spirit.

Then, blame and guilt can be washed in blessing and grace!

Pray