Session Three: Needs Assessment and Goal Formation

God created human beings with a variety of needs. In the creation account in Genesis chapters 1-2 we see several of these needs.

I. Human beings need purpose- Gen. 1:26 “let them have dominion”

II. Human beings need fruitfulness- Gen. 1:28 “be fruitful and multiply”

III. Human beings need sustenance- Gen. 1:29 “it shall be for food”

IV. Human beings need companionship- Gen. 2:18-25 “it is not good that man should be alone”

V. Human beings need God- all Scripture above- Psa. 73:25

These are basic, common to all needs that every human being has though many do not enjoy. For example, many people lack a purpose for their lives and end up depressed. Or, some people lack companionship and are alone. All who do not know God in a saving way experience that detriments of that (many for this life and everything for the life to come).

With the differences between men and women, we also see considerable differences in needs, generally speaking. There are also specific needs that Christian men and women have, and even more there are specific needs that Christian husbands and Christian wives have. Added to this our own unique personalities, make up, and preferences, and we have a challenging task ahead of us.

How do we assess our needs? I posit that the triangle helps us develop our needs in a God-glorifying, spouse-edifying, and mutually beneficial way.

I. Love God- Matt. 22:37-38

First, we consider the great commandment. This may seem counterproductive, as we are seeking to develop our needs. But the problem with so many relationships is that they start at the end rather than the beginning. It would be similar to changing oil in a car. The first step is to drain the old oil out of the vehicle and then to plug it and put in new oil.

Many times we start adding oil (our needs) to the car and it has disastrous effects. We start with our greatest need but often unacknowledged and neglected need: to love God. Our greatest need is to love God.

Do we consider this as a need? Several passages highlight this: Psalm 1:1-3, 19:10-11, 23:1-4, 42:1-3, 119:57-64, Matt. 4:4, Phil. 3:7-11.

In assessing our needs, what specific needs do I have to love God? First as a Christian and second, as a spouse (i.e., husband or wife).

II. Love One Another- Matt. 22:39; Eph. 5:25, 22

We are called to love our neighbors as ourselves. We are known as Christ’s disciples when we love one another (John 13:35).

In our previous session, we examined the specific roles of the husband and wife. These are concrete, practical, and biblical ways that we love one another. As we assess our needs, our needs as husbands are to love our wives as Christ loved the church and as we love our bodies. We take care of her spiritual, guiding and leading her in the ways of God.

As we assess our needs as wives, we are to submit to our husbands and support them, following his leadership as the church follows her Savior, Christ.