Mark Sermon Week 23 - Family

Adds

It’s not God’s intention for divorce or sin in general

Big Idea:

God values family

Family is God’s plan to bring His Kingdom to Earth

Intro/Welcome

Welcome

Good morning — Happy Valentines day tmrw

Happy Super Bowl Sunday today!

My name is Justin

Good to be with you

Welcome Online

Good to be back after being out, thank to Tanner and John

Text Intro

Continue in the Gospel of Mark

Today, Jesus is going to teach on the importance of family to the Kingdom of God

Jesus whole mission was to bring the Kingdom of God.

Jesus is confronted by the hard hearted pharisees and he uses it as an opportunity to not only correct them

but to teach on the importance of families to the Kingdom of God.

Family is so important to God — he is called Father

Family is at the center of God’s plan to bring His Kingdom on earth.

The Family was the first human institution that God created.

How important is family to you? / How much do you value family?

How important is family to God? / How much does God value family?

the family is under attack in our day

something has gone wrong, families are broken

Family is God’s invention and God’s intention for human beings.

God is interested in expanding his family.

God wants you in His family

When we believe in Christ we are set to become Children of God.

John 1:12–13 (ESV)

12 But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, 13 who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.

Defining Family

What is a family?

family members are related — by blood.

or by spiritual union.

There are three ways you can become family:

You marry someone — family created

You are born into a family

You are adopted into a family

Marriage:

A family is created at the moment of marriage.

Genesis says that the Two become one Flesh

Even more profound is that marriage is a picture of Jesus and the Church

of God and His people.

God want you in His family

Bible

We’ll be in Mark 10:1-16.

Go there in your Bible and follow along

Let’s Pray

Pray

Isaiah 61:1–4 (CSB)

1 The Spirit of the Lord God is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor.

He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and freedom to the prisoners;

2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor, and the day of our God’s vengeance; to comfort all who mourn,

3 to provide for those who mourn in Zion;

to give them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,

festive oil instead of mourning, and splendid clothes instead of despair.

And they will be called righteous trees, planted by the Lord to glorify him.

4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins; they will restore the former devastations; they will renew the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations.

The Setting

Mark 10:1 (CSB)

1 He set out from there and went to the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Then crowds converged on him again, and as was his custom he taught them again.

Jesus is enroute to Jerusalem

The Crowds come and he teaches — Kingdom Work

So do the pharisees.

The Pharisees

Mark 10:2 (CSB)

2 Some Pharisees came to test him, asking, “Is it lawful (authorized, permitted) for a man to divorce his wife?”

They are coming to test Jesus — to trap him.

The religious leaders try to get Jesus to incriminate himself through misinterpreting the law

Once Jesus gets to Jerusalem we are going to see the full onslaught of their attacks

Why Divorce?

Why do they ask about divorce?

It’s kind of an odd question, right?

It was as controversial then as it is today.

In our context, we think of divorce in terms of a judgment decided by a court of law that legally dissolves a marriage.

In biblical times, however, divorce was an independent action taken by a husband to cast off his wife (who was regarded as property, Ex. 20:17; Num. 30:10–14; Sir. 23:22–27).

There were many different schools of thought and factions among the Pharisees

Jesus Response 1

Mark 10:3–4 (CSB)

3 He replied to them, “What did Moses command you?”

I love Jesus response

He points them to the Scriptures, to the Word of God.

4 They said, “Moses permitted us to write divorce papers and send her away.”

they are quoting Deut 24:1-4.

This is the only OT law about divorce.

Deut 24:1-4

Deuteronomy 24:1–4 (CSB)

1 “If a man marries a woman, but she becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, he may write her a divorce certificate, hand it to her, and send her away from his house.

So here is the provision for divorce.

But it goes on.

2 If after leaving his house she goes and becomes another man’s wife, 3 and the second man hates her, writes her a divorce certificate, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house or if he dies,

4 the first husband who sent her away may not marry her again after she has been defiled, because that would be detestable to the Lord.

You must not bring guilt on the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.

This is a good example of “case law,” where vv. 1–3 present the situation (“When …”) and v. 4 is the actual law (“then …”).

The law forbids the first husband taking back the wife he found no favor with after she is subsequently divorced or widowed.

By charging his wife with some indecency, the first husband acquired her dowry—her father’s marriage present to her—when he divorced her.

Remarrying, she was given a second dowry. This example then implies that, when her second marriage ended (either through death or through more trivial grounds of divorce), she was able to keep her second dowry.

The first husband is forbidden to remarry her to acquire her second dowry.

This law protects the woman from exploitation by her first husband.

But significant debate erupted over the first part of this law.

Most Jews took for granted that a man had an inalienable right to divorce his wife.

The later rabbis only argued about what were the legitimate grounds for divorce, not whether it was lawful.

…Teachers of the law argued about the grounds for divorce and differed on how to interpret the phrase “a matter of indecency”

Some emphasized the word “matter”—any matter was grounds for divorce;

others stressed the word “indecency”—the wife had to be guilty of some misconduct (see m. Git. 9:10).

“The school of Shammai says: A man may not divorce his wife unless he has found unchastity in her.…

And the school of Hillel says: [He may divorce her] even if she spoiled a dish for him.…

Rabbi Akiba says, [he may divorce her] even if he found another fairer than she”

In our Day — No Fault Divorce

In Jesus’ time, wives had little or no recourse to justice in a law court when their husbands turned them out.

Women were viewed as property.

The word used in the Greek text for the bill of divorce (apostasion) was used as a technical term for relinquishing property.

The husband relinquished his rights to the wife with the certificate of divorce.

The Certificate of Divorce was meant to exonerate someone from the charge of adultery if they remarried.

The legislation on divorce certificates protected wives from brutal abandonment.

It freed a wife from the accusation of adultery when she, out of necessity, remarried; and it prevented the first husband from destroying her new marriage by trying to reclaim her.

It deterred anything that might look like wife-swapping. The law was therefore intended to keep the social upheaval associated with divorce to a minimum.

Jesus Response 2

Well what does Jesus think about all this?

Surely he has an opinion

Again, the Pharisees don’t really care what he says, they are just looking for something incriminating.

But look what Jesus does.

Mark 10:5–9 (CSB)

5 But Jesus told them, “He wrote this command for you because of the hardness of your hearts.

6 But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female.

7 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother 8 and the two will become one flesh.

So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

They go back to Deut 24 — Moses

But Jesus goes back further to Gen 2 — which is also Moses

He says, Deut 24 was written b/c of the hardness of your hearts.

But God’s creational design, God’s intention was given in the beginning

Gen 1:27, Gen 2:22-25.

Caveat

Jesus is not responding to someone who is in a failing marriage

He’s not counseling someone who is asking marital advice

or whether they should get a divorce or not

He’s certainly not responding to a situation where a spouse is being abused.

He is responding to the Pharisees who are trying to accuse Him

This is important to remember when we apply this text.

So let’s not just lob these verse at people who are struggling in marriage and considering divorce

Probably more akin to how Jesus cared for the woman at the well

But does does Jesus say? What is his logic?

Jesus Logic

God made human beings male and female Gen 1:27

Genesis 1:27 (CSB)

27 So God created man in his own image; he created him in the image of God; he created them male and female.

I suppose he could have made the asexual — without need for another

But he didn’t

But God made them interdependent

made them for one another

literally to fit together

complementary

made the equal but different

This is the REASON for the covenant of marriage

The man and wife will leave their families and create a new family

Genesis 2:24 (CSB)

24 This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.

Mark 10:7–8 (CSB)

7 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother 8 and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

a one-flesh union

The two become one — one unit

a new creation

A marriage

A Family

His conclusion — THEREFORE

Mark 10:9 (CSB)

9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Let no human being separate one God has joined

Conclusion

Jesus is for monogamous, male-female, lifelong marital union

Why?

B/c that is God’s intention, his created design

And his desire is to ‘bless us’ not withhold joy / hinder us

Blessing is favor from God, joy!

To bring God’s Kingdom to Earth

On his part, Jesus makes this statement to argue the permanence of marriage, not to accuse persons of adultery.

Legal actions define the limits of relationships, but human legal definitions do not always reflect God’s perspective.

The spouse is not a piece of property but bone of one’s bone and flesh of one’s flesh (cf. Gen. 2:23).

So is it lawful to divorce?

It is permitted b/c of hardness of heart

But it is not God’s desire or God’s will

since we’ve just seen that God created marriage to bless men and women.

Lot’s of things happen that are not God’s will

like human sin and suffering — not just divorce

but he made provision b/c he’s gracious.

Now may be you have all kinds of questions.

That’s ok, so did the disciples, look

The Disciples Questions

Mark 10:10 (CSB)

10 When they were in the house again, the disciples questioned him about this matter.

they did the right thing, they come to Jesus,

the Word of God with their questions

they said “help us to understand”

Is this where you go?

Do you go to Jesus with your questions?

Do you go to the Word of God for your answers?

Or do you, or your friends, families go to the latest marriage expert?

or what your friends think?

or your counselors?

We are called to bring light into the darkness, and the Word of God is lamp unto my feet, it lights our paths — Amen?

Questions

Now what where the disciples questions?

We know from Matt 19:10-12 at least one thing they said.

Matthew 19:10 (CSB)

10 His disciples said to him, “If the relationship of a man with his wife is like this, it’s better not to marry.”

The ESV Study Bible (Chapter 19)

19:10–12 After hearing Jesus nullify most of the currently popular grounds for divorce, the disciples overreact and say,

it is better not to marry (than to run the risk of a lifelong unhappy marriage)

11 He responded, “Not everyone can accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb, there are eunuchs who were made by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves that way because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who is able to accept it should accept it.”

What are some of your questions?

Is divorce never ok ? If so, in what cases?

What about when abuse is present?

Can you re-marry? If so, when?

What if you marry an unbeliever?

What if your spouse turns away from God?

These are good questions

And questions that can’t be answered from the pulpit

but require biblical community

biblical wisdom

and yes, what the Bible says clearly

They require pastoral care

and knowing the story, the truth

We want to uncover just what Jesus did:

Where is their hardness of heart?

In struggling relationships where are repentance and forgiveness needed?

If you are struggling in your marriage, in your relationships ask this of yourself:

Where is my heart hard toward my spouse?

Where do I need to forgive?

Where do I need to repent?

Where do we need to experience reconciliation?

Where do you need to listen to your spouse?

Ask them today, tmrw

What do I need to hear?

Seeds and Weeds Questions:

Are there any seeds or weeds?

Why?

Because God values family

Family is the centerpiece of God’s plan to bring His Kingdom to earth

Our Position

We are for marriage b/c God is for marriage.

We never want to see divorce

it tears apart families and creates all sorts of issues

I came from a divorced home.

But, we also want to walk with couples and counsel them.

There are biblical grounds for divorce:

Jesus says in Matt 19 — sexual immorality is grounds for divorce

that includes any form of sex with someone other than your spouse

Prostitution, pornography, adultery, etc.

Paul in 1 Cor 7:15 gives abandonment as a ground for divorce.

Your Pastoral Leadership wants to walk along side of you

Our Elders/Pastors, Group Leaders, etc.

We want to see marriages healed and restored.

Families reunited

But we also realize that won’t always be the case.

So what is Jesus response to their questions?

Jesus Response

Here is all that Jesus says in response to their questions:

Mark 10:11–12 (CSB)

11 He said to them,

“Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her.

12 Also, if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

Notice what he says

If a man divorces his wife and marries another he commits adultery against his first wife

If a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery against her first husband

the only time in the Gospels where it is assumed that a woman also has a right to initiate a divorce (a right upheld by Roman law;

What is Jesus saying? How is this a response?

He is basically saying

Hey if you steal then you have committed theft.

Malina argues that Jesus’ audience must have been as startled as we would be if he said to us, “Anyone who sells his car and buys another is guilty of theft.”

The divorce certificate carried with it the right to remarry—“Behold thou art permitted to any man” (m. Git. 9:3)—so that no one could be accused of adultery after divorce. Jesus rejects this provision and insists that the marriage bond must never broken no matter how punctilious one is in following the legal process.

He is just restating the obvious truth

but he’s saying it goes deeper than that

Why?

Here’s what he’s saying

Adultery is an issue of the heart

Matthew 5:27–28 (CSB)

27 “You have heard that it was said, Do not commit adultery. 28 But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Remember the certificate of Divorce

it was meant to exonerate someone of adultery if they remarried

But Jesus point is:

a piece of paper cannot take away sin

It was going to take a cross

a certificate cannot fix a hardened heart.

it was going to take a resurrection

Our problem is not divorce, but what leads to divorce, namely hardness of heart

and jesus came to change hearts!

The Power of the Cross

Jesus say

don’t you realize that I am in the business of bringing dead things back to life?

If your heart is hard towards your spouse

only the gospel has the power to break and remake your heart

only the gospel can soften you towards forgiveness and repentance

B/C Jesus died for ALL sin

Your sin against your spouse

But also, your spouses sin against you

we tend to forget that one

You see only the Cross makes forgiveness possible.

so you don’t have to hold your spouses sins against them

b/c all sin has been held against Jesus on the cross.

Don’t you see how freeing that is?

You don’t have to win the argument — you get to lay down your life for your spouse

You don’t have to punish your spouse — you can bless them and pray for them

this is why the Cross is the very entry point into the Kingdom of God

into a life ruled by God’s Will and God’s grace.

So couples, married, dating, engaged?

What conversations do you need to have?

Happy Valentines day.

you are free to fail, to be a sinner, to lose

b/c Christ won for us.

The key, is life in the Kingdom of God, which is where Jesus ends it.

Kids

Mark 10:13 (CSB)

13 People were bringing little children to him in order that he might touch them, but the disciples rebuked them.

Jesus is busy explaining all this to the disciples

and people start bringing kids to Jesus for him to bless.

Isn’t that that what kids do?

they just barge in and interrupt a conversation?

They do at my house

The disciples get angry, they try to send them away

they are in the middle of learning a very important lesson

They are having their Jesus time

But man, look at Jesus’ reaction

Mark 10:14–16 (CSB)

14 When Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the little children come to me. Don’t stop them, because the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15 Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 16 After taking them in his arms, he laid his hands on them and blessed them.

Jesus gets angry!

They rebuke the kids, Jesus rebukes them.

He says, don’t hinder them from coming to me.

Why?

B/c jesus values family, it is the centerpiece of God’s plan to bring his kingdom to Earth

Jesus loves the little children

Jesus loves biblical marriages

Jesus loves the family

It ought to be important to us, as the Church.

Loving your kids

Husbands and wives the first way you can love your kids, is by loving each other.

just as we have been saying.

The second way you can love your kids

is to Prioritize them and parent them well

teach them the ways of Jesus

demonstrate the ways of Jesus

forgive and repent in front of them

teach them how to do it for each other.

Biblical Parenting is one of the hardest jobs on the planet.

bless our mothers and fathers

Parenting is discipleship — the main kingdom work we are to be doing.

everything that we’ve been seeing about how Jesus disciples is applicable to parenting.

Read the gospels, it is what it means to parent biblically

For NOT Parents

And if you are not a parent yet, bless your mothers and fathers

one day you may understand some things you don’t now

I know that I did.

The same things we talked about earlier apply to all of our familial relationships

Where is there hardness of heart?

against bother, mother, father, sister?

son or daughter?

what conversations might need to take place?

Kingdom Power

Where do we get the power to live this way?

Mark 10:15–16 (CSB)

15 Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 16 After taking them in his arms, he laid his hands on them and blessed them.

You got to receive it

just as a child receives everything from their parents

Your heavenly father wants to give you the Kingdom

We’ve got to ask. Then we got to receive.

Luke 11:10–13 (CSB)

10 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. 11 What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead of a fish? 12 Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? 13 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?”

God’s Family

Summary

So the Pharisees come to test Jesus

Jesus takes the opportunity to teach about the Kingdom of God

He teaches that God created marriage

one man, one woman, one flesh union

Creates the first family as his plan to begin His Kingdom to Earth

He teaches the welcome kids in and to care for them

and to learn from them what receiving looks like to receive the Kingdom

Why?

b/c the family is God’s centerpiece for bringing His Kingdom to Earth.

he created it in the beginning

he said be fruitful and multiply

But sin and hardness of heart have broken everything.

God’s Kingdom Family

So Jesus went to the cross.

Why?

So that we could once again enter into God’s family

and be radically transformed.

That we could experience the love of God and all the benefits of being in God’s family

so that even now, if our biological families fail us

we have a spiritual family, the family of God

The church

Closing

Let’s be family to one another.

repenting and forgiving

serving one another

and Bring God’s Kingdom to Earth, to our world.

The family is God’s plan to bring His Kingdom to Earth

Let’s Pray