First Things First

Introduction

Scuba Diving Illustration

“They were scuba buddies, able to function independently, both had their scuba masks and oxygen tanks, but paired up to enjoy the adventure together and to provide support should something go wrong. As long as they both had their scuba tanks on, air flowing, they were a real source of life for each other-enjoying the wonders of the ocean together....”

When you are connected to the Lord, who is the source of life, you can be a source of life...but if you are disconnected from THE source of life, you will attempt to suck the life from someone else.

When we bring God-Sized needs to human beings, they cannot possibly succeed.

Ultimately, we have to be connected to the source of life, The Lord, if we are going to be a source of life to someone else.

When you know you are loved, it is easy to be a source of love to others. This is why we must first know God’s love for us before we can love others well.

So, how can we know and feel loved by God? Our affections for God burn off the fuel of truth. If we want to feel loved, then we must begin with knowing that we are truly loved by Him....and the only way this can happen is by hearing and reminding ourselves of His love for us through His word.

Here is the key point I want to you to know from tonight’s text: We must get a relationship with God right FIRST, before we can get a relationship right with the opposite sex.

So, lets turn to one of the best descriptions of God’s love for us in 1 John 4:7-21 so that we can respond in loving him supremely.

1 John 4:7–21 ESV

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.

Essentially, this passage tells us that God shows his love for us in three ways:

His Love Sends

His Love Sacrifices

His Love Stays

Now lets unpack each one of these...

Love Sends (1 John 4:9)

One of the first things we see from this text is God shows his love for us by sending his Son into the world.

Look at verse 9: “In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.”

Love initiates and takes action.

How was God’s love revealed? Through sending His Son to save us.

We know God loves us because he sent his only son, his most precious possession, into the world to save us from our sins.

God did not wait until we were “worthy,” or “good-enough,” but sent his Son while we were sinners, while we were his enemies, while we wanted nothing to do with him.

Romans 5:8 ESV

but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

So the first way we know God loves us is because he freely chose to initiate a relationship with us by sending his Son to save us from our sins when we were his enemies.

Love Sacrifices (1 John 4:10)

The second way we see God’s love for us is in the sacrifice he makes through Christ.

Look at verse 10: “In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”

Explain Propitiation

Jesus showed his great love for us by laying down his life for us to pay the sin debt we could never pay.

Ian Murray once said, “The cross of calvary was the pulpit of God’s love for His people.”

John 15:13 says “greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

Think about some examples of people sacrificing themselves for one another because of love.

Guy being willing to take on the debt of his fiance in marriage

Michael Monsoor, Navy SEAL jumping on a grenade to save his troops

So, God’s love sends, it sacrifices, and lastly, God’s love stays.

Love Stays (1 John 4:13)

Look at verse 13: “By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit.”

How do we know that God loves us…how do we know that we are remaining in God…by having the Holy Spirit dwelling in us.

The Holy Spirit is often referred to as the “down-payment” and the “seal” of God’s promise that He will finish the work He started in us and never let us go.

Ephesians 1:13–14 ESV

In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.

Example of putting a down payment on a car or house or trip.

Once we are His, God will never leave us, nor forsake us. And to show his commitment to us, he gives us the Holy Spirit to reside in us forever.

God’s love is steadfast, it remains constant, it does not change.

God does not change his mind or regret saving us when we mess up or fall into temptation.

If we are God’s children, His love does not change for us based on our actions, for he knew everything we would ever do before he saved us, He knew what He was buying.

Share illustration of the man staying with his fiance and getting married even after she contracted multiple sclerosis

Give “I want that person in my family!” quote

This is the definition of true love…

Conclusion

So what do these truths have to do with us when it comes to relationships?

How are we going to practically live out these truths this week in our lives?

Love the Lord with all your heart and seek his kingdom and his righteousness first.

We must get our relationship with God right before we can even think about a relationship with the opposite sex.

“whoever loves has been born of God” (1 John 4:7).

If your relationship with God was viewed as a marriage, would it be considered healthy? failing? non-existent?

How can you expect to love someone else, that is sinful, when you do not display any affection or desire for the everlasting God who is sinless?

How do you think you are going to commit and stay faithful to someone else, when you have not demonstrated a commitment to the Lord and to his church?

Talk about commitment to Christ and his church is a good indicator of one’s commitment level to another person in a relationship....what to look for in future spouse.

You have no business seeking to pursue a relationship with the opposite sex until you are faithfully pursuing a relationship with your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ

If you are not....

reading the word

spending time in prayer

memorizing Scripture

faithfully serving your church

sharing the gospel with unbelievers

seeking to make disciples

This is not a check off or to do list…but rather, it is the natural overflow of a life that has been enraptured with the love of God and can do nothing but these things out of a desire for God and His glory.

But if you never do these things…and you never have a desire to do these things…can you really say that you love God? Has the grace of God truly transformed your heart?

Give illustration of if this were the case with your spouse

“whoever loves has been born of God” (1 John 4:7).

Call to respond and close in prayer from Ephesians 3:14-21

Ephesians 3:14–21 ESV

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.