Sermon Tone Analysis

A few weeks ago I read an article that said churches in America were dying because of lack of friendships!

It said that although churches are a place where people are often friendly and welcoming, it ends there!

It then went on to say that this is not a church problem as much as it is a cultural problem where there is lack of friendship in America.

It is part of what one sociologist in the 1950’s (80 years ago) coined “The Lonely Crowd”

In 1985 a study was done that found the majority of people had three or more friends that they were close to, people they could confide in and go to, and only 10% of people said they had no one to confide in.

By 2004 that number skyrocketed to 25% of people had no one with which they could confide - 0 real friends!

That number continues to worsen especially in light of the last 2 years.

The article goes onto point out that in the church people need to

1) Be more vulnerable - as vulnerability allows us to trust one another and develop deeper relationships

2) Be less busy so we can be more available to one another

3) Not make the newcomer responsible for pursuit of the friendships

I remember when Kimberly and I moved to Colorado almost 7 years ago, we had no family here and we determined that we were going to create friendships.

I reached out to other ministers and invited people to lunch or dinner, and initiated phone calls and even group gatherings — because of that I have developed three to four close friendships, find myself in a position of leading the ministers of Northern Colorado because we made ourselves available and vulnerable - even though we were the newcomers!

lol

Phileo is a Greek word which means brotherly love, which is usually translated as friendship or affection.

A love which exists between close friends.

Phileo love is being inclined to help or support someone, to like someone, to not be hostile

One of our Mission statements as a church is to be a COMMUNITY OF FAITH

Faith indicates our shared belief in Christ, but to be a community is indicative not just of a group gathering, but of a group sharing life - it goes beyond being friendly to be FRIENDS - to displaying phileo love and even friendship that goes deeper into AGAPE love or unconditional love one toward another.

Let’s look at what the Bible says about friends...

1. Friends are There for Each Other

What are both of these verses saying except for friends are there for one another.

Do we take the time to be intentionally there for each other?

To be a source of strength for a friend to rely on.

I know not everyone in a church will be that close friend and confidant with everyone else in the church, but have you sought out a brother or sister in Christ to be friends with --- and first the call is for us to be the friend to another!

Of course everyone wants someone to be there for them, but are we there for others.

Are we available?

Are we willing to be LOYAL AND A HELP IN TIME OF NEED?

Sticking close by one another.

Jonathan and David perhaps had one of the greatest friendships ever described in the Old Testament.

Jonathan, the son of Saul and David who was anointed to replace Saul as King, but refused to come against Saul as the Lord’s anointed.

David was a part of Saul’s home bringing him comfort through music, but Saul was jealous of David and pursued him to kill him, yet his son Jonathan was David’s bestie.

Some have tried to say that David and Jonathan were homosexuals, but this is not at all what Scripture indicates of their relationship.

They were the closest of friends, always there for each other, looking out for each other, in fact Jonathan saved David’s life on more than one occasion.

After Jonathan’s death, David cared for his handicapped son, Mephibosheth for the rest of his life.

These two had a relationship where they could depend on one another for support, help, encouragement and brotherly love.

Not every relationship will turn out like these two had, but many will come close.

One thing is for sure, there can never begin to occur if we do not make ourselves vulnerable and available to one another.

2. Friends Connect on a Deeper Level

Friends can be honest with one another and help each other to be better!

How does iron sharpen iron - when friction against itself wears off the bumps and smooths out the edge!

Helping one another to become SHARPER is not always an easy task.

A friend is one who we grow to trust who helps us to grow, become stronger, and tells it like it is to our face so we become better.

Their counsel is always in our best interest, and they do not flatter us because they do not want deceptive words to lead us into trouble.

Look at Jesus and Peter and see the depth of calling out Peter’s flaws to bring him to maturity.

Jesus tells him when his faith is small, he tells Peter that Satan would sift him like wheat and he would betray Christ, but then reminds Peter when he has repented to turn back to him...

Jesus sees the weakness in Peter’s life and calls him out without condemning him - the goal is to strengthen his faith.

Oh that we would not turn blind eyes to the sin or shortcomings in our friend’s lives, or partake of it together, but may we honestly help one another to grow stronger and more mature in Christ.

3. Friends are to be Sought After

None of us wants to be alone!

Man has the helpmate of our spouse - the first and foremost friend in our lives, but we also need the companionship of peers.

A wise person realizes it is not good to be alone!

What does it say he does - he wins friends!

Many are waiting for someone to come and befriend them, but a wise person searches out and makes friends!!!

I think many are lonely because they don’t want to put in the time, make the effort, open up their heart, or be there for someone else.

Friendships are two way streets, but we often have to initiate what we are searching for.

Don’t complain to the Lord that you are lonely and without friends if you turn down invitations given from others, if you never invite another to join you, and if you are too busy to connect!

A wise person pursues and loves others with brotherly love -

Conclusion

There is a love that is not a love between man and woman, a love that also can grow and should grow into AGAPE - unconditional - love but begins as brotherly love.... THE LOVE OF FRIENDS!!!

We all need them!!!

We all need GODLY FRIENDS!

Friends who will help point us on the right path and make right choices in following Christ until we reach eternity.

Friends to share life with, and our Christian faith.

This year as we endeavor to be faithful and fruitful, may we recognize that developing godly friends is part of that endeavor in being the COMMUNITY OF FAITH!