Children of God Funny Illustrations

> Children of God > > A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. > > The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. > > The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. > > Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. > > The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". > > The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" > > The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ". > > ****************************************

> A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom > of children while they were drawing. She would > occasionally walk around to see each child's work. > > As she got to one little girl who was working > diligently, she asked what the drawing was. > > The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." > > The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows > what God looks like." > > Without missing a beat, or looking up from her > drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

**************************************** > > A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. > > After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" > > Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill." > > ****************************************

> The children had all been photographed, and the > teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a > copy of the group picture. > > "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when > you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, > she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' > > A small voice at the back of the room rang out, > "And there's the teacher, she's dead." > > ****************************************************************

> A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation > of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she > said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, > as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red > in the face." > > "Yes," the class said. > > "Then why is it that while I am standing upright > in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into > my feet?" > > A little fellow shouted,"Cause your feet ain't > empty." > ****************************************

> The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.

The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: > "Take only ONE. God is watching." > > Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. > > A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.