Dealing with the Painful Moments that have Shaped Your Life

Introduction (5m)

Think about three losses you have experienced in your life and the impact those situations had on you

How did you deal with those losses?

Grieve? Denial? Minimise? Blame others? Blame yourself? Rationalise? Distract? Become hostile?

The most common way to deal with difficult emotions, grief and loss is addiction

The problem with dealing with grief and loss in this way - and failing to see processing negative emotions as a discipleship issue - is “leaking” Christians

Passive-aggressive behaviour — showing up late, sarcastic remarks, nasty tone of voice, silent treatment.

Explanation (5m)

Jeremiah sets out the horrors experienced by God’s people and admits he is in a dark place

The book of tears focuses on the destruction of Jerusalem in 586BC

Dirge, funeral song, “the weeping prophet”. 1st Temple destroyed by Babylonians > Babylonian captivity for 50 years. Jerusalem utterly destroyed. Unbearable atrocities. Couldn’t get any worse.

Jeremiah is in a dark place but still manages to turn his mind to hope

Lamentations 3:21–23 NLT

Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.

One of the most important expressions of faith in the Bible chooses to focus on the faithful, covenantal love of God

Turns from horrors, pain, sorrow > what remains true about God. God’s promises > continue to exercise love, mercy, faithfulness. Events = dark and distressing, might appear God is working against you but loving and merciful character remains. Hope lives.

How could Jeremiah turn from God’s people’s darkest hour, from his own pain and sorrow and see hope in the loving faithfulness of God?

Lamentations 3:26 NLT

So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord.

Get’s angry with God - OK - read the Psalms! Processes emotions. Doesn’t deny, minimise, blame others, blame himself, rationalise, distract or become hostile. Doesn’t become addicted to work, pleasure, entertainment. He waits on God.

Application (5m)

How might your three experiences of pain and loss you thought about have been different if you had waited in silence for the voice of God?

Best antidote to anxiety, tension. God wants to talk to you about loss, grief. Can’t hear unless wait in silence. As you sit in silence, God will help you turn to his love and his mercy. Hope will return. Instead of trying to defend yourself against something confusing, simply wait with God.

Is there something you need to hear from God about this morning?

Negative emotion you need him to speak into today? Do you see times when you leaked > confess?

Next Steps

SB 786 - Silently now I wait for thee

Silently now I wait for thee, Ready, my God, thy will to see, Open mine eyes, illumine me, Spirit divine. Clara H. Scott (1841-1897) Used By Permission. CCL Licence No. 30158 Copied from The Song Book of The Salvation Army Song Number 786