Notes on Conflict from Matthew 5:38-48

Scripture Reading

Congregant read?

Matthew 5:38–48 (ESV)

38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ 39 But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41 And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42 Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

This is God’s Word. You can be seated.

Intro

Segue from Jason’s message:

Increasing authenticity/humility leading to intimacy will always result in increasing opportunity for CONFLICT.

We know this is true: inevitably, the places where we feel conflict the most tends to be in our closest relationships: with our parents, our kids, our spouses or significant others

But we also know that conflict is not just reserved for our most intimate relationships.

We all face conflict of some kind in all of our relationships:

The boss or teacher who just seems like is out to get you, or who doesn’t respect you or treat you with honor

The coworker or classmate who constantly one-upping you, competing with you, trying to be better than you

The friend who seems to find joy in belittling you or making you feel small, or the friend who is so needy that you feel frequently annoyed by them

That one worker at the restaurant you frequent who just rubs you the wrong way, that you hope doesn’t wait on you or take your order at the counter

The neighbor who’s lawn is always unkempt and weed-infested and knocks the value of the entire street — Confession: we are that neighbor!

Jason shared from John 17 last week, where Jesus prayed that we would all be ONE. His desire is that we live together in harmony. The biblical idea for relationships is “Shalom” — peace, wholeness, completion.

How are we to experience this ideal when all around us, in all of our relationships, there exists varying degrees of conflict?

Jesus’s teaching in the passage we just read, taken from his most famous sermon, the Sermon on the Mount, challenges us with a new perspective on how to see and deal with conflict.

Addressing the sources of conflict.

1) Our natural inclination towards justice.

Matt 5:38 “38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’”

Matt 5:43 “43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’”

We see this play out in two basic beliefs which Jesus names even for his first century Jewish audience:

1. Retaliation is warranted so long as it is fair in measure.

“What goes around comes around”

“That’s karma, baby”

2. Hating your enemy is warranted so long as you love your neighbor.

The difficulty of each of these: They are based on literal quotations from the Old Testament.

The problem is not with God’s Word. The problem is with the people’s understanding of God’s Word.

The proper context to which Jesus is pointing...

How do we believe or practice similar things in our lives/culture?

These fill us with a sense of righteous zeal

However, Jesus does nothing to affirm these beliefs. Instead, he turns them on their head.

Jesus’s instructions for life in the kingdom:

1. Respond with grace to those who harm or bother you.

2. Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

These deflate us. We rail against this teaching on the inside.

Why?

We have a natural sense of justice or fairness which makes us revolt against the idea of others getting away with the harm they’ve caused us in relationships.

Before we can even consider how to follow Jesus’s instruction for handling conflict, we have to deal with this felt tension.

How can you possibly obey Jesus’s commands here when you feel so deeply wronged by another person? How can you possibly move past some of the things others have done to you if they don’t first apologize or pay for what they’e done?

We know, deep down, that there is something real, difficult, unjust, broken, corrupt in the middle of all our conflict that must be solved in order to reconcile with others.

The Bible calls this “sin.”

It is because sin exists that conflict exists.

It is because all of us are sinners, in relationships with other people who are sinners, that our relationships inevitably have conflict.

This exposes the second and most foundational source of conflict in all of our relationships:

2) Our natural inclination towards sin.

Here’s the heart of the issue:

If we want to deal with conflict in relationships, we must find a way to deal with sin. Sin is the source of all relation

My sin, their sin, and the sin in the word that creates broken circumstances and situations that are not my specifically my fault or that of those with whom I’m in relationship.

You are a sinner. The people you are in relationships with are sinners.

Every person on earth sins. You are not a sinner because you sin — you sin because you are a sinner. Sin is the condition into which each and everyone of us is born.

Rom 3:23 “23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

Not only that, but sin can never go un-punished.

Rom 6:23 “23 For the wages of sin is death. . .”

We spoke a few weeks ago, and Jason mentioned again last week, the sacrificial system of the OT, where a lamb or goat or bull would be sacrificed for the sins fo the people by priests in the temple.

There was a detailed system for atoning for sins.

Why?

Because God is holy. He is so morally pure and good that on the one hand he cannot allow sin in his presence. Not only that, but the power of his holy goodness would eviscerate anyone walking into his presence with sin.

God, as a just judge, cannot simply sweep injustice and sin under the rug.

Sin, the source of all our troubles in this life — and the fire that causes the smoke of relational conflict — will never be ignored by God, and must always be punished.

Our own inner cry for justice is a God-given desire that mirrors God’s very own heart.

Why do we leap with satisfaction at a verdict rightly called by a judge or jury?

Why do we secretly rejoice when someone who has hurt us is hurt in return, or suffers some kind of setback or harm at the hands of others?

Why do we dig up prominent peoples’ past dirt in order to publicly judge and execute them online?

It’s the same dual source that creates the conflict in the first place; that leads to saying demeaning or hurtful things to people we love; that leads to self-centered actions which break apart our commitments to people we love; that leads to

Is Jesus then calling for injustice? Is he calling for us to betray our own God-likeness in asking us to turn the other cheek? To forgive those who harm us?