A Word for Mothers

1. Mothers have an obligation because of their special place in God’s created order.

A. Mothers are naturally loved.

There is no doubt that mothers are the most adored people on planet earth. I understand that there are always exceptions but generally speaking, this is true.

We show it with our money.

About 10 billion dollars more is spent annual on Mother’s Day than on Father’s Day. Americans spend 41 % more money on mothers than they do on fathers for the special day.

Mother’s Day is the third most celebrated day in the USA behind Christmas and Valentines Day.

Americans have no shame in this either. We like mom more and we don’t care who knows it.

Illustration: The Jimmy Kimmel show did a survey where they approached families and asked the kids in front of the parents who they loved more. Almost every kid quickly replied “Mom.”

A survey was done with 300 adult children asking this question:

If Mother’s Day and Father’s Day were on the same day and you could choose to spend the day with only one, who would it be?

78% of adult children said mom.

Evidently showing favoritism to a child is a no-no. But showing favoritism to mom is perfectly acceptable in our culture.

I’ve got news for you kids. This is coming from a dad. We don’t care that you like mom more because we like her more too.

There are scientific reasons why kids usually love mom more. The fact that the mom carried them in their womb for 40 weeks. The fact that they nurtured them and spent more one on one time with them when they were small probably plays an important role in that.

Moms listen, you are loved. With that great privilege comes great responsibility. Until they get married no one will be closer to them than you are. Why does God create this bond between mother and child? He creates it so the mother can be a tool in His hand.

When we think of Timothy we often think of his father in the faith. Paul was his father in the faith. But the Bible speaks of his mothers in the faith. In 2 Timothy 1:5 Paul spoke of the faith that dwelt in his grandmother and his mother. God used godly women to raise up a godly man for the kingdom of God.

B. Women are to be taught to love their husbands (4).

Paul tells Timothy that the older women should teacher the younger women to love their husband.

Godly love isn’t natural. It must be poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit through the new birth (Romans 5:5). It manifests itself as we learn the Word and apply it to our lives.

Ladies, without the Word you don’t know to love your husband in a godly way.

Before you have children, you should have a husband. This is godly love. Your kids need a father. If you want kids find a man who loves you and love him in a godly manner. Then have kids.

As your children grow, they should see you model a genuine godly love for your husband. Good mothers don’t just love their kids, they love their husbands too.

This is a command in Scripture. The idea of falling out of love with someone is a myth.

The term falling implies something beyond our control. It sounds like an accident. We just “fell out of love.”

If we stop loving someone it is a choice. Love is a choice. It is not a feeling.

Love your husband fiercely.

Respect him.

Honor him.

Identify him as the leader of the home.

Look at what Paul says in verse 5. He says, “obedient to their own husbands.”

There is a hierarchy in the home. The Bible says the husband is the head of the house. Treat him as if he is.

C. Women are to be taught to love their children (4).

Again, taught to love them in a godly way. Your parenting book is the Bible.

The Bible teaches us to love unconditionally. Your children should not have to meet a standard to gain your love. They should know you love them simply because of who they are. They are your child.

The Bible teaches us to love the soul. If you love your child’s soul, you will lead them to Christ. Today we hear people say they want their child to find their own way. They don’t want to force religion on their child.

What a foolish thing to say. If your child was diagnosed with cancer, would you say “I don’t want to force treatment on him?” No, you would do everything you could to save his life. Our children have the disease of sin, and the only cure is Christ.

The Bible teaches us that love involves discipline. The Bible says whom the Lord loves He disciplines (Heb. 12:6). I’m afraid too often mothers don’t want to discipline their children. Why is this?

Perhaps they’ve bought into the lies of the world. They think if you love your kids just be nice to them.

Perhaps they idolize their children. There are many mothers who do. In their mind their child can do no wrong.

They’ll tell the teachers.

They’ll tell the coach.

They’ll tell the world.

If you don’t see your child’s flaws neither will they. If they don’t see their own flaws, they won’t correct them. There is an old saying “A face that only a mother could love”. Mom, you need to realize the world is not going to look at your child through your glasses and the Lord is not going to either. If you love your child, you will discipline your child.

Perhaps they are afraid their child will not love them. Many think if they discipline their child they will run them off. So they walk on egg shells around their own children.

Listen to me folks- You cannot raise children out of fear of driving them away. Kids catch onto that real quick. They will manipulate the situation.

What is God’s pattern of discipline? He uses the means of His Word and His Spirit to draw us back to Himself. If we refuse, He resorts to more drastic measures. The Babylonian captivity of Israel is a perfect example of that. They wouldn’t obey the Law, they wouldn’t listen to the prophets so the Lord brought physical consequences against them.

Mothers have an obligation to love their husbands and their children in a Biblical way to fulfill their purpose in God’s created order.

2. Mothers should be an example of Biblical femininity (5).

A. Mothers should have a sharp mind. The word “discreet” means sober minded. It implies good judgment and common sense.

Moms are not to be:

Mentally weak

Gullible

Pushovers

Easily convinced

Moms are to be the detectives in the home.

Ask questions

Analyze data

Push back

Kids, do you ever feel like you’re being debriefed? You are. You should be. It’s mom’s job.

It’s important that kids know mom will find out. Mom, it’s ok. This is part of your calling.

You should know what they are listening to.

You should know what they are reading.

You should know what they are watching.

You should know who they are hanging with.

A characteristic of a godly woman is an intelligent woman. Mom, you should read. You should study. The Proverbs 31 woman was known for her wisdom (Proverbs 31:26).

Mom you should desire knowledge.

To protect your family.

To prepare your family.

The Bible does not present women as unlearned and ignorant. Womanhood is to be characterized by intelligence and wisdom.

B. Mothers should be morally pure.

The word “chaste” is used. It’s primarily used to describe sexual purity.

Moms should present themselves as morally pure by the way they dress. 1 Timothy 2:9-10 says women should dress modestly.

Don’t cheat on your husband.

Don’t dress like you want to cheat on your husband.

Your children should know there is only one man’s attention you want and that is their father. God created both men and women to be monogamous. When we are not, we resemble the animal kingdom more than we do humanity. Biblical femininity demands moral purity.

C. Mothers are to manage the home.

The phrase “keepers at home” can be misleading. It sounds like women are supposed to stay at home. But it means they are to manage the home. Moms, this is important. The husband is the head of the house, but the wife is the manager of the home.

Mom, what should your home look like?

1. Meals should be prepared. Your family should eat together. This is one of the greatest things you can to raise a godly family.

Meals should be planned.

Everyone should have their role. (Helping cook, set the table, prayer)

Everyone should help clean. No one leaves a plate on the table.

2. The house should be cleaned.

There are two extremes with this.

1. The house is a pig sty. There is no excuse for this.

2. The house is so immaculate it’s no fun. There is no need for this.

Moms teach us about cleanliness. My mom taught me you can’t help being poor but you can help being nasty. Mom doesn’t clean everything. She is the manager. She makes sure everything is clean. She is the inspector.

Kids clean their room. If they won’t they pay the price.

Illustration: I can remember when my kids were small and we would come in and the house would be a wreck. She would stop everything. She would say no one is doing anything until everyone picks up and puts away twenty things. She taught us how to count and clean at the same time.

I will tell you that we have thrown away many toys because we told our kids to pick them up and they didn’t.

Dad cleans up after himself. My wife brings me into the kitchen to show me exactly what I’ve done.

A child’s dirty room is a reflection on the child’s parents. If you raise your child to believe it’s not his job to clean up after himself, you are raising a menace to society.

Why is this a woman’s job? They are better at it. Women are better cleaners than men. They see things men don’t see. Remember, they don’t clean the whole house. They make sure the house is clean. They are the manager.

3. The children should be prepared for adulthood.

Listen to me mom, you should want your children to grow up. They get big. They get expensive. If you let your kids do nothing but play until they are 18 you are in for a world of trouble. You should be slowly training your children to be adults while they are in your home.

There comes a day when you stop changing their diapers.

There comes a day when you stop feeding them the bottle.

There comes a day when you expect them to behave like adults. Mom you are to equipping your children to be adults. You say, “He’ll always be my little boy.” Ok, but understand you are the only one in the world who will see him that way. To the rest of the world, he is an adult.

He's going to be someone’s father.

He’s going to be someone’s husband. I’ve seen moms who had sons they would divorce in a heartbeat if they were married to them.

Their son lies to them

Their son doesn’t respect them.

Their son steals from them.

They wouldn’t put up with that for a second from a husband. Yet they keep treating that person like a child. They are making a huge mistake.

Mom, you are training your children to be adults who are worthy of respect.

Teach them how to wash their own clothes.

Teach them how to cook their own meals.

Teach them how to earn and spend their own money.

Teach them how to have conversations with adults.

Teach them about being thankful. Illustration: Thank you notes, Jennifer telling them to pack up their stuff. Our ids would have to write 15-20 thank you notes at times. She wanted them to be thankful.

D. Mothers should be kind.

The word is “good” in KJV but it means kind. Moms should not be harsh. They should be gentle. They should be tender. Moms can provoke their children to wrath as easy as men can.

An angry mother is not controlled by the Spirit of God.

An authoritarian is not a godly mother.

Listen moms, it is not feminine to be loud. Screaming and yelling is not a fruit of the Spirit.

Proverbs 7:11 says of the ungodly woman:

She is loud and stubborn;

1 Peter 3:3-4 says of women

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

E. Mothers should be submissive to their husbands.

A mother needs a husband to raise children for the Lord. She cannot do it all. Adam could not do it alone and neither could Eve. And one of the two must lead. God has said the man is to lead. There are times when a mother and a father may not agree on raising children. As long as the man is not harming the children or leading them away from God the mom should follow the dad’s lead.

Illustration: As soon as he was able Jeremiah was holding a ball. He wanted to play any sport he could. I never played team sports, but I knew my son was interested so I did my best to help him. He was very small, and I knew this would make it harder for him. After work I would take him in the yard and throw a football or baseball with him. I always made it hard. I would throw the ball harder than Jennifer thought I should. She would be watching out the window. She would come on the porch and yell at me

“Not so hard. He’s just a baby. Don’t throw it so hard.”

When he wanted to play football, I had him put full pads on. He ran in to me. I knocked him down. I wanted him to know how it felt. I didn’t want him to be surprised.

Jennifer would come outside and start yelling at me.

I would always say the same thing to Jennifer. I would shout “Go inside Jennifer! Go back inside!”

And me and Jeremiah would just sit there until she went back inside.

Moms are very smart. They are very nice. We love them very much. But sometimes dad knows best. This is when a mom needs to learn to submit to the father.

When a mom tries to usurp the authority of the dad, she is not being feminine. She is being masculine. She is operating outside of what God has created her for.

Why is all of this important? Look at the end of verse 5. “that the Word of God be not blasphemed.”

Mom, when you don’t raise your kids the way God says to you run the risk of being the reason they are ungodly. The world will say “See, that Christianity thing is a sham. The Bible isn’t true. Look at how all those Christin kids end up.”

The greatest compliment to your parenting skills is your children embraces your faith. That is the goal.

You can do everything right and they still reject Christ. The important thing is to make sure they don’t reject Christ because you were not the godly mother God requires you to be.