Sibling Rivalry

Have any of you ever been involved in a sibling rivalry? Sometimes these rivalries vary in severity. The rivalry could be around something simple like whose drawing was on the fridge the longest, to the more extreme of who can beat the other one in a physical fight.

I remember that my younger brother Justin and I had a rivalry growing up. I’d imagine that it started as something small when we were younger, but as we got older it got more extreme. There was more than one occasion where one of us was bloody and screaming “mooooooom he’s gonna kill me!!!!”

Sibling rivalries are so interesting!

Did you know that there are a few sibling rivalries in Scripture?!

We have, of course, Cain and Abel.

Ishmael and Isaac

Esau and Jacob

Leah and Rachel

The younger and older brother in Jesus’ parable of the prodigal son

And even the 12 Apostles had a slight sibling rivalry, wondering who among them was the greatest!

And there’s even more than that!

One of the sibling rivalries that happened rather early on in the Bible was between Joseph and his brothers.

Joseph had 11 different brothers. All of those brothers, at the time in our scripture, did not like Joseph. Why? Well, because Joseph’s father Jacob favored Joseph. So of course his brothers didn’t like him! So, what’s the best way to handle someone you don’t like??? Yea, sell them into slavery!

As the 20 pieces landed into the hands of the brothers, Joseph was lifted out of the deep pit by some Midianite traders.

They carted him off to Egypt and then sold him to Potiphar, one of Pharaoh’s officials, as a slave. For roughly ten years Joseph was slave to Potiphar.

Through those years the Lord was with Joseph. He became successful as a slave and ended up the overseer of Potiphar’s home and all of his goods. In doing this, the Lord blessed the house, and Potiphar’s home and field prospered.

But, Potiphar’s wife longed for Joseph. She begged him to lie with her, but he feared God and respected Potiphar and said “how could I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?”

Finally, she gripped his cloak and he ran, leaving it behind. Furious, she lied and said he tried to lie with her. So, Joseph was arrested.

Still with him, God made Joseph prosperous in jail. He began to interpret dreams and eventually found himself interpreting the dreams of Pharaoh himself!

Pharaoh, impressed by Joseph, elevated him to second-in-command over all of Egypt. He helped Egypt prepare for an oncoming famine he saw in Pharaoh’s dream, and Egypt became the most prosperous nation.

“And all the world came to Joseph in Egypt to buy grain, because the famine became severe throughout the world.”

Nearly 13 years after throwing him into a pit and then selling him, Joseph’s brothers found themselves in Egypt on a couple of occasions, always asking Joseph for help without ever knowing it was him.

At every moment that his brothers were in Egypt, Joseph had the authority and power to seek revenge on his brothers.

He could have had all of them killed.

He could have had them all starved to death.

He could have arrested them and sold them into slavery.

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In today’s world, Joseph would have been crazy for not getting his revenge!

One simple glance at our music, movies, and television shows and we see how revenge is at the root of our culture.

If someone wrongs us, offends us, or does something we don’t like we have been shown through these different media that revenge is okay.

Those who seek out revenge are often the protagonists in our favorite films. They are the heroes of the stories, the conquerors of evil.

Grace and forgiveness are anything but present.

But how many of us in here struggle with forgiveness? Maybe you were abused by a parent, or a friend said or did something hurtful? Maybe a coworker lied and you took the blame, or maybe even someone here in the church said something that hurt you. Maybe the governor did something you didn’t like, or the president for that matter.

No matter who you are, or what the situation is, forgiving someone who has truly hurt you is never an easy thing to do. There isn’t a magical button we can press when we need to forgive someone, it’s just not that easy.

And, frankly, Joseph knows this struggle. But, there is someone else who knows this more than you, more than me, and more than Joseph...

“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

These are the words that our risen Lord, Jesus said as he hung on the cross. As he was wrongfully punished, beaten, spit on, betrayed and executed.

They taunted him and said “If you are the King of the Jews, save yourself!”

Yet, instead of revenge, instead of vengeance, instead of leaping from the cross and slaughtering them all…he died.

He breathed his last breath after forgiving the very people who killed him, and he died.

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The Spirit of God that provoked Jesus to forgive them, is the same that moved Joseph to forgive his brothers.

The Spirit led Joseph to revealing himself to his brothers. In pure shock they stood, unable to answer Joseph as he asked if his father Israel was still alive.

Seeing this, Joseph has them come closer to him and he said again, “I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt.”

Now, I can’t imagine what his brothers felt in this moment, but any first time reader of this story would assume that what comes next is the swift hammer of justice and revenge.

But, they would be wrong.

Instead, Joseph consuls his brothers. “Do not be distressed or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life.”

So not only does Joseph consul his brothers, but he gives glory to God. Glory to God for not just his prosperity, but for his being sold into slavery, for his time in jail, and for the years away from his father.

He then instructs them to bring their families nearby, he wants to be around them again. He says, “you shall be near me, you and your children, and your children’s children.”

Joseph offers to provide for them, to make sure they don’t fall into poverty, to make sure that they don’t go without what they need.

He not only forgives them, but he cares for them so much that he is willing to help them even after they hurt him. Joseph extends a hand of peace, forgiveness, comfort and love to the very people who sold him into slavery.

And at the end of this morning’s Scripture, they weep with each other, and talk again.

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So, when we are faced with an opportunity to forgive or to enact revenge, which should we choose?

Well, I believe Jesus was rather clear about this in the Gospel of Luke. He says, “But I say to you that listen, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you…do to others as you would have them do to you…be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”

Jesus’ words were not the only thing that spoke of forgiveness and mercy, but that message that Jesus gives here is seen through His death on the cross. Knowing what it meant, what would come of it, and what He would be giving to the world, he looked over the people and even the city that betrayed Him and he uttered, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

If told all of you to imagine someone in your life, or maybe just a type of person, who you thought was unforgivable or unloveable, how many of you would have someone in mind?

[Raise hand]

Come on… I know there’s more out there. I know this won’t make any of you feel better but sometimes we are that very person to someone else. There may be people in this world, people you have interacted with before, who thinks you are unforgivable or that you are unloveable. I don’t know about the rest of you but that kind of makes me feel uncomfortable.

But, this is one of those struggles that we are going to have for a long time. We live in a world that tells us that revenge is the way to go, that people need to deserve forgiveness, but we worship a God who says differently, and we have to ask ourselves, which will be the Lord of our lives, the God who died for us and forgave us, or the world?

Now, earlier when I asked you if you were ever involved in a sibling rivalry, some of you said yes, and some of you said no. Some of you may not have had a sibling growing up to have a rivalry with.

But, I would venture to guess that all of us, at one time or another, have been involved in a sibling rivalry even in adulthood.

Listen to Hebrews 2:11 “11 For the one who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one Father. For this reason Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters,”

You see, as believers in Jesus Christ, and as doers of God’s will, we are brothers and sisters. Now, I want you to think about the many Christians that you know. Have you ever had a slight rivalry with them? Have you ever fought with them, or maybe even got annoyed with them?

Maybe the Christian you have or had a rivalry with is sitting in this very church this morning.

No matter who they are, no matter what they’ve done, we are called, no, we are commanded by our God, by our savior Jesus Christ, to forgive. Even if you consider that fellow Christian an enemy, or anyone else you consider an enemy for that matter, we have been commanded, not asked, to be merciful, to do good, to forgive, to bless, to pray for, and to love them.

Now, this is the last time this morning I’ll ask you to raise your hands. How many of you hear all of this, you know it’s true, but you recognize that it’s really hard and sometimes seems impossible?

Yea.

Trust me when I say that I know forgiveness isn’t easy, none of what I said this morning is easy, but you don’t have to take my word for it. Look to the actions of our Christ and Jospeh. Remember that we serve a God of forgiveness and grace, not of revenge and hate.

But, don’t feel like you have to do it alone. In fact, you can’t do it alone. Only by God’s grace can we have the strength and courage to forgive the very people who cause us harm and pain.

If you find yourself this morning struggling to forgive someone, struggling to love your enemy, to do good to those who hate you, to bless those who curse you, to be merciful and loving… you can’t do it on your own.

You must be willing to bring that person and that situation to God in prayer, even if it’s through gritted teeth. The only way any of us are going to be able to forgive one another or the people who have hurt us is by the power and grace of God.

I would like to encourage each of you to do something very simple and very practical. I want you to take a piece of paper when you get home after church and I want you to write down the people who you consider your enemies. Write down the names of the people who have cursed you, those who have abused you, those who may even hate you. For some of us we need to write down entire groups of people who may think or feel a certain way about something…

But, write them down, and over the course of this week, spend time praying over them. Pray for them. Don’t just pray, “God, please make them realize that I’m right and they’re wrong...” but pray for God’s grace and mercy to come upon them. Pray that your heart can be changed for them, pray that they can forgive you too.

I promise that you will not regret doing this. Let’s not be a people who listen to the world’s demand for revenge, hate, anger, war, and rage… but let’s be a people of God. A people who, no matter how hard the command might be, obeys the command and will of the God who saves us.

If, even after this you still find yourself struggling, or maybe you find that you can’t write them down because you don’t want to forgive them, I’m here to talk. I’m here to listen. I’m here to help you through this.

Let us all, by the grace of God, be people who embody Christ, forgive those who we deem unforgivable, and love those who we deem unloveable.

Amen.