Matthew 19

INTRODUCTION

I. Life Committed Matthew 19:1-15 (11)

1-12 Committed Relationships

vs. 1-2:

Jesus leaves Galilea and heads towards the region of Judea

He is making his descent (headed south) towards Jerusalem, where he will ultimately die

Background:

So, in vs: 3, the Pharisees come- Which by the way, nothing says welcome to our region quite like this- oh hey Jesus, welcome umm.. “is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for ANY reason?”

Why are they asking this? Most of us read this and go, thats a ridiculous question

But, lets take a trip back to Israel and get some cultural context...

In the Mishnah—> which is the oral teachings of various Jewish rabbi’s which interpret of the law of Moses, had 2 schools of thought:

Rabbi Shammai- taught a man could only get divorced if the woman was found to be sexually unfaithful

Rabbi Hillel- taught a man could get divorced basically for any reason (over-salting or burning food, no longer being pleasing to the eye, etc.)

Now, this 2nd view was the predominant view of the culture

Pharisees knew that Jesus was going to have to pick a side and in turn offend somebody in Jewish leadership

This is a LOADED question and a hot topic in that day and age. Jesus was in the region of Perea, near the Dead Sea, where John the Baptist had spoken against Herod Antipas and his unlawful marriage and it cost him his life back in Matthew 14.

Goal: discredit Jesus by trapping him with a trick question, worked for John the Baptist, why not try it with Jesus.

vs: 4-6 Jesus’ Response

Matthew 19:4–6 (NIV)

“Haven’t you read,” (in other words- hey there Bible scholars- don’t know you your Bibles, obviously not, cuz if you did you wouldnt be asking me this question)

“that at the beginning the Creator (GOD) ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Jesus doesn’t pick a side at all, in fact, he doesnt even answer the question. He takes them straight back to the book of Genesis, long before the law of Moses was given and describes God’s original intent.

What Genesis tells us, is that the CREATOR, God, made an image of himself in the form of humans- or in Hebrew, the word is “Adam”…he made two distinct humans, male and female, both in his image, and he brought them together as one flesh. This union was meant to be a reflection of God. He is saying- you have lost the heart of God…

So, what is the heart of God for marriage in the original design?

Marriage is Established by God

Physical union- becoming one flesh

Permanent

between 1 man & 1 woman

vs 7:

So, the Pharisees go, ok ok Jesus BUT..

vs 7. “Why did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send them away.”

The Pharisees here are most likely annoyed at Jesus’ response so they ask again, wanting Jesus to interpret the Law of Moses in Deuteronomy 24 concerning divorce.

vs 8-9:

Jesus, once again points out that the Bible scholars don’t seem to know their text goes...

umm…Moses PERMITTED you to divorce (this is very different than commanding)....because your hearts were hard- they had lost God’s heart.

He is saying…this isn’t how it was meant to be, this was never God’s intent

Moses allowing divorce was a way of dealing with a situation already gone wrong.

vs. 9 Jesus goes on “I tell you”- remember this phrase from chapter 5- this is Jesus inserting his authority, reminding them He is God and is the one who can interpret the law correctly.

“anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery. “

The word for sexual immorality here is porneia. Jesus takes a very conservative view here and specifically calls out sexual immorality in a wide variety of situations as a PERMISSIBLE means for divorce, not as a command.

We don’t have time to unpack all the scriptures about marriage and divorce in the Bible, but other potential permissible reasons for divorce seen in scripture are abandonment and cases of abuse.

We should be careful to not assume that every person who is divorced is in sin.

Divorce situations are incredibly complicated and should be taken with great pastoral care on a case to case basis.

The goal and hope of broken marriage is that both persons, individually and together, would be reconciled to Jesus and each other.

For most, if not all of us in this room, the effects of divorce have touched our lives in some capacity. Divorce in our world shows the brokenness of humanity at a heart level.

Jesus came to restore what was broken, and through his death on the cross we can find hope in what our world would deem as hopeless situations.

Broken marriages can be restored and lives can be redeemed through Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross.

In order for this to happen it requires believers to live in a countercultural way- to fight for marriage the way God intended it.

For those in this room who have been divorced know that this passage is not meant to condemn you.

Through Jesus there is repentance and reconciliation to God because of the cross. I hope that you feel his love for you today, Jesus knew your marriage would be broken- it’s why he came in the first place. He came for you, in your brokenness, to restore and redeem you.

If divorce is apart of your story know that there is no situation that is not covered by the blood of Jesus.

As the church we are called to lovingly come alongside our brothers and sisters who have experienced divorce and show them the life they can have through Jesus. Only Jesus can heal the pain and the brokenness experienced through broken marriages, and our church should be a place where people can come and find healing, not condemnation.

While some of you are not divorced- I know some of you are walking through extremely difficult and painful situations in your marriage- wondering if divorce is in your future.

Dear sister…I just want to say that I am so sorry that this is the situation you find yourself in, it was never supposed to be this way.

My prayer for you is that you would take time today to ask God what small step of obedience He is asking you to take in your marriage right now. The reality is you cannot control or change your spouse, but you can change your response.

If you are married today, how might God be asking you to move toward your spouse today in a way that honors God.

Know that He sees you, He sees the brokenness and the pain. He is for your marriage- He is for you- and he cares about you deeply.

vs. 10

So lets now look at the disciples response- notice that they are stunned.

They go wait a minute Jesus....if that’s the case…what is the point of getting married

you mean....we have to fight for it? You mean marriage is hard? We can’t just give up and get out?

The disciples lived in a culture where they were taught that marriage was about the happiness of a man. If they weren’t happy, well then, get a divorce.

Jesus here is saying marriage isn’t about happiness- is there happiness in marriage, yes, but happiness isn’t the goal. Marriage displays God’s glory and grace to the world.

When you fight for marriage as God intended it, you reflect God and his relationship with the church to the world.

Jesus is not saying marriage isn’t hard.

In any relationship, where 2 sinners come together, there is going to be conflict and disagreement. When two people spend that much time together they are most definitely going to sin against the other.

Jesus says- I know that--…fight for God’s original intent-I will always fight for you- I will never divorce my you.”

Marriage is meant to be a beautiful picture of God and his unbreakable relationship between Christ and the church. Christ will never divorce the church and he longs for our marriages to reflect this.

Do you view and value marriage the way God does?

Lets take a minute to see how our culture view marriage:

STATISTICS OF DIVORCE:

Every 42 seconds, there is one divorce in America, That equates to 86 divorces per hour, 2,046 divorces per day, 14,364 divorces per week, and 746,971 divorces per year

Over a 40 year period, 67 percent of first marriages terminate.

That means that during this lecture, roughly 30 divorces will occur in the United States alone.

Take a moment and let that sink in.

Where do you need to re-evaluate your view of marriage? Our marriages in the church should look drastically different than the world. Ask him to transform your mind, to give you eyes and ears to understand so that you can live

So how does Jesus respond to the disciples:

vs. 11:

in vs 11-12

Jesus uses the term “Eunuch” here- technically speaking, a Eunuch was a castrated male who was incapable of having sex or reproducing

this commonly occured in ancient times to servants of the King so they would not sleep with any of their wives.

It’s interesting that in vs. 12 Jesus uses the term eunuch to essentially refer to himself. He was not made a eunuch by castration but he was a eunuch, or essentially he lived a single, sexless life for the kingdom of heaven.

Jesus here is essentially saying: “Not everybody is going to get married and that is ok!!

If you are single, you are not somehow living less of a life than those around you who are married. God is not punishing you or withholding something good from you. You are a valuable and beautiful part of Gods kingdom on earth.

I think it is safe to say that Jesus lived the most complete, purpose filled life compared to any other person who has ever lived and He did it without without ever having sex or getting married.

The founder of BSF, Wetherell Johnson, never married, instead devoting herself to serving as a missionary in China and then beginning and growing Bible Study Fellowship. Before her death, she shared the following to a large crowd:

“I would say to you it's possible to be single and to be deeply happy. I should know it by my age; shouldn't I? Yes, there is something that you miss. I would love to have a child out of my own body. I would like all that marriage represents, especially for one thing to have a conversation with a man every day which is different from having only women. There are lots of things that I miss as a single woman.

But may I tell you I have lots of advantages that you ladies don't have because I am single, and God has given me spiritual children if He doesn't give me the other. And I know this, that my God will not withhold any good thing from me. I'm satisfied in Christ, and maybe this is why God has kept me single so that people may see that marriage is not the only source of satisfaction but our satisfaction is in Christ and He provides.... God is very good.”

Jesus did not only value single people, but he was the first teacher in that time to elevate singleness as a way of life!

Marriage is not for everyone though we live in a culture that places so much pressure on adults to marry, particularly in Christian circles. How are you embracing and encouraging those who God has called to a life of singleness in your family or in your church? s Would we as believers not look to things in this world to satisfy or complete us but

vs13-15 Committed to kingdom values

In vs. 13-15, people bring little children to Jesus and the disciples rebuke them.

Last week we talked about how children were cast aside in society

Jesus here is taking something their society does not deem as valuable, and showing them that not only do children matter, but that they too have access to the Kingdom of God just as much as anyone else.

Take a minute and evaluate your heart towards God’s children. Do you view children as a valuable and integral part of God’s kingdom?

What would it look like for you to treat children as part of God’s kingdom?

Do you take the time to talk to the children God has placed in your life, or do you find yourself annoyed by them, wishing they were quieter and less rambunctious.

As I was working on this, my daughter came in to tell me a story that was important to her- I will confess to you that my immediate reaction was to tell her to go away so I could “work.” Can’t she see that I am busy.

As I turned back around to continue writing, I felt the Lord go ummm…hello…this is exactly what I’m talking about.

Jesus was willing to stop his “important ministry” to pour into young children because they were just as important than anything else he was doing.

We say all the time that children are important, but do our actions and hearts reflect that?

Does your heart towards children reflect God’s heart?

Where might God be asking you to love the youngest members of his kingdom?

If you aren’t sure, I have good news, we have both a preschool and school program as a part of our local BSF class. As a previous children’s leader I can tell you that this program does not run without volunteers. You have no idea how much simply your presence in the room changes the dynamic.

Kids notice when you are there- they recognize that someone other than their parent wanted to be with them today. There is power in your presence. Come, serve in our children’s program- show a child their value to God through valuing them.

Live a life commited to valuing children the way God does.

Main Truth/Applications

Truth: A life committed to God’s kingdom values should look countercultural.

Do you value marriage the way God values marriage?

Marriage does not complete. Children do not complete you. Jesus completes you.

When we live with Jesus’ kingdom values we reflect his kingdom to our hurting and broken world.

If you are married today do you value YOUR marriage as God values it?

Where do you need a change in thinking to think more like Jesus.

II. Life Surrendered Matthew 19:16-30 (14)

16-22 Surrender to love God

vs 16. A rich man approaches Jesus wanting to know what “good” thing he must do to get eternal life?”

Notice in vs. 16 how he addresses Jesus as “teacher”- this is a title of respect, this man is not coming to trap Jesus like the Pharisees, his question is genuine.

In vs 17-20 The man and Jesus have a back and forth conversation where Jesus tells him to follow the commandments

Jesus was not trying to communicate that he needed to do a better job with the commandments, his point was that no matter what he did he fell short.

In vs 20, the man responds with confidence that he has kept the commands, therefore he implying he was “good enough”

in vs 21, Jesus tells this man to be perfect by selling his possessions to the poor, gaining treasures in heaven, and then Jesus invites him to follow him.

And then in vs 22 we see the man leave sad because he had great wealth.

After he leaves Jesus tells the disciples it’s harder for a rich man to enter heaven and then gives them a visual illustration of an impossible situation...

There is no trick here- a camel would never fit through the eye of a needle.

The disciples understand the illustration and rightly point out that if that is the case, no one can be saved.

Remember, that for the Jewish people, material wealth was a sign of blessing and favor. In Genesis, God does bless the nation of Israel with material wealth on earth. The problem here was not so much the man’s wealth- but it was his hearts attitude.

This man didn’t think he needed Jesus— he didn’t need saving because in his mind he was “good” enough and able to provide for all his own needs.

When we think that we are self-sufficient and that we don’t need Jesus, we are in danger of pushing him aside. When you are in great need, in moments of deep desperation, you cry out to Jesus because you have no other option.

That is why Jesus references having great wealth here- the wealth in and of itself is not sinful. Things are just things. they have no moral value- but our hearts response to these things matters. This man loved material possessions more than God- and Jesus new his heart.

What do you love more than God? Is there something hindering you fully giving yourself to him? Jesus’ ask here is for the man to take a drastic measure to remove the thing in the way of getting to God.

What “thing” are you unwilling to give up for Jesus?

It seems the disciples are finally getting it.... there response here: he says- you are right- on your own you cannot be saved, but WITH GOD- all things are possible.

This realization should lead us to gratitude…on our own we could and never will be good enough- it is impossible. But, God didn’t leave us on our own- God made a way b/c through him ALL things are possible.

We should not read this interaction and assume that if he had just given up his possessions then he would have had eternal life. That misses the point entirely. We need to look deeper—>Jesus is trying to point out the condition of the man’s heart.

A surrendered life is one that says “whatever you ask Jesus.”

This man was convinced that he was good enough!

How many people in our world see themselves as good enough?

They aren’t rule breakers, they are nice, they care about others, some even frequently attend church, but yet they see no need for Jesus.

The word perfect used in vs 21, is the same word that Jesus used in chapter 5 in the Sermon on the Mount.

In Matthew 5:48, Jesus said “be perfect because I am perfect.”

This word perfection is the Greek word perfection that Jesus By pointing out the commands to this man, he is pointing out that no amount of law keeping would be enough.

He says the intent of the law was to point to me- I am the end- I fulfill the law.

DOCTRINE 2

23-26 Surrender to know God 5

27-30 Surrendered to serve God

DOCTRINE

Main Truth/Applications 2

Truth:

Conclusion 2

COUNTERCULTURAL COMMITMENT

SINGLENESS

Marriage does not complete you. Jesus completes you.

We have spent so much time idolizing marriage that people go to great lengths to get married-

just because you are reading a law doesnt mean that is God’s ideal, but there is a legitimate reason

At that time men were allowed (not God’s law, theirs) to have multiple wives but women could only have 1 husband, men were essentially neglecting their “unwanted” wives leaving them with no choice but prostitution or desolation because they were legally married. It allowed a woman to have the possibility for re-marriage and have hope of being taken care of. God cares about the oppressed and vulnerable- his goal is always to love and protect.

In today’s culture we aren’t far from this type of thinking: we are told constantly to pursue what makes us happy. And what is that? Sex and marriage. These two things will make you happier, more complete, more satisfied, and give you purpose.

We are told, sex feels good, therefore you deserve to have it.

Marriage in our culture is idolized as the thing that will bring you happiness and completion...

In fact, this messaged is so engrained in our culture that the world has attempted to redefine marriage in order to achieve the supposed happiness and fulfillment found in marriage- because without marriage your life is somehow unfulfilled. Right? and how dare anyone stop someone from getting the thing that will bring them complete happiness and purpose in life.