Questions & Answers about Biblical Forgiveness

Introduction

While God’s plan of forgiveness is stated clearly in Scripture, man’s humanistic wisdom has introduced confusion. To protect yourself from accepting and believing erroneous teaching about forgiveness, follow this simple truth: If a particular viewpoint is not supported by Scripture, it is not from God and must be discarded (based on Proverbs 21:30; Isaiah 55:8-9; Jeremiah 10:23; 2 Timothy 3:16-17; Hebrews 4:12; 2 Peter 1:3-4).

Is It Possible or Necessary For You to Forgive Yourself?

Man’s wisdom often teaches that “forgiving self” is a prerequisite for experiencing peace and joy. Forgiving self is usually heard in statements such as, “I just can’t forgive myself for what I’ve done,” or “You must learn to forgive yourself to get rid of your guilt.” Even a believer might erroneous say, “Now that God has forgiven me, I need to forgive myself.”

Any teaching that emphasizes a need “ to forgive yourself” is trusting and exalting “self” instead of relying solely on God’s promises and provision for total and complete forgiveness. If you believe that it is necessary to “forgive yourself” in addition to receiving God’s forgiveness for your sins, you indicate that God’s plan of forgiveness for salvation and His plan of forgiveness for your continued daily cleansing are not adequate. Remember the following:

Receiving God’s forgiveness is not a matter of “feeling forgiven;” rather, it is a matter of trusting God (Hebrews 11:6) and His promises (such as Romans 5:1-2; Colossians 1:21-23; 1 John 1:9).

Since God says there is no condemnation (no guilt, complete forgiveness) for you in Christ Jesus, then it is true, regardless of your feelings (Romans 8:1).

When God says that He forgives you and cleanses you from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9), there is absolutely nothing you can or need to do to complete His work.

The “need” to “forgive yourself” presupposes that you have a sense of guilt concerning past sin(s). Since guilt is the result of sin, you are to repent and confess your sin(s) to the Lord (1 John 1:9) and confess to others at the appropriate time (based on Proverbs 15:23, 25:11; James 5:16). Subsequent steps of repentance should include cooperation with God in renewing your mind.

Instead of thinking you need to “forgive yourself” in addition to receiving God’s forgiveness, you should forget what lies behind, reach forward to what lies ahead, and press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:13-14).

“Forgiving self” has no biblical support. Scripture has only two perspectives on forgiveness:

You can and need to be forgiven by God (Colossians 1:13-14; 1 John 1:9); and

You are to wholeheartedly forgive others, following the example of God’s forgiveness to you (Matthew 18:32-33; Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13).

Will All the Consequences of Your Sins Be Removed When You Receive Forgiveness?

When you receive God’s forgiveness for salvation, you pass from death to life (John 5:24), thus having the ultimate judgment and consequence of your sin removed (Romans 6:23). In your daily life as a child of God, you do not need to be judged by the Lord (and subsequently disciplined) when you judge yourself rightly and deal with sin immediately (based on 1 Corinthians 11:31-32).

However, receiving God’s forgiveness does not guarantee that all the consequences of your wrongdoing will be removed (Colossians 3:25). For example:

Even though the Lord forgave David for his adultery with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 12:13), the child that was born out of this adulterous relationship died (2 Samuel 12:14-23).

The repentant thief on the cross responded in faith to Jesus Christ but still died for the crimes he had committed (Luke 23:39-43).

You can receive God’s forgiveness for sins committed against another (1 John 1:9), but you still are responsible to reconcile with the person against whom you have sinned (Matthew 5:23-24).

What Is the Relationship Between Your Granting Forgiveness to Others and God’s Granting Forgiveness to You?

Before your spiritual new birth (John 3:3), your primary need was to be forgiven by God (Romans 5:8-9; Colossians 2:13-14), which is sovereign work of grace and is not dependent on anything that you can do (Ephesians 2:8-9; Titus 3:5).

Prior to your spiritual new birth, it was impossible for you to forgive sincerely because apart from Christ:

You could not understand the things of God (1 Corinthians 2:14);

You were powerless to obey Him (Romans 8:7); and

You could not conform to something you knew nothing about and had not experienced yourself (Ephesians 4:32).

Since your spiritual new birth, your eternal inheritance in Christ is protected by God (1 Peter 1:3-5). Your heavenly inheritance depends only on God’s purpose, mercy, and grace; and you are sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise (Ephesians 1:3-14; 2 Timothy 1:9).

A consistent refusal to forgive others biblically reveals a spirit of vindictiveness and indicates that a spiritual new birth as not occurred (1 John 2:3-4; 3:6, 9-10). However, a true child of God might sin by placing his focus on himself and fail to grant forgiveness to another person in a particular situation.

If you as a child of God sin by failing to forgive another, you show that:

You are empty of gratitude for God’s forgiveness granted to you in Christ Jesus (Matthew 18:21-33),

You are not following the example of sacrificial love given by God through Jesus Christ (Ephesians 4:32; 1 John 4:10-11), and

You are choosing to disobey God’s Word by keeping count of a wrong suffered (harboring a grudge) (1 Corinthians 13:5) and by refusing to grant forgiveness (Ephesians 4:32).

If you as a child of God sin by failing to forgive another:

God the Father’s forgiveness of your current sins will be withheld (Matthew 6:14-15; Mark 11:25-26); and

God will discipline you in a corrective, appropriate, and loving manner (1 Corinthians 11:32; Hebrews 12:5-11).

If you object by asking, “What about 1 John 1:9 which says I receive forgiveness and cleansing from God when I confess my sins,” remember the true meaning of confession. To confess rightly before the Lord means that you “agree with God about your sin with a corresponding commitment to forsake that sin.”

You are spiritually deluded (James 1:22) if you “confess” some of your sins and expect God’s forgiveness and cleansing from all unrighteousness, yet choose to continue in sin by failing to forgive others (Mark 11:25).

You receive answers to your prayers (including those of “confession” of sins) when you are obedient to God’s Word (1 John 3:22) and ask according to God’s will (1 John 5:14-15). If you will not forgive another, you are not obedient to God’s Word and will not be asking in accordance with His will. By withholding forgiveness from another, you choose to continue sinning (James 4:17). As a result, you will not receive cleansing from the Lord for this transgression. In addition, many times the memory of the hurt you received will often continue to drain your spiritual vitality. You are to forgive that person and be free from that bondage.

Does God Require You to “Forgive and Forget?”

Scripture says that God’s forgiveness involves remembering sins against you no more (Isaiah 43:25; Jeremiah 31:34; Hebrews 10:17). This means that He will not hold your sins against you since He has cleansed you with the precious blood of Jesus Christ (Romans 3:23-25; Ephesians 1:7; Hebrews 10:19-22; 1 John 1:7).

While God forgives, He cannot forget (erase His memory) since He is the Almighty God and final Judge who will bring every act and every careless word to judgment whether good or evil (Ecclesiastes 12:14; Matthew 12:36-37; 2 Corinthians 5:10; 1 Peter 1:17). Therefore, since God’s character and His Word gives assurance that He does forgive completely, forgetting is not required in order to forgive.

Your responsibility is to forgive another as God has forgive you (Ephesians 4:32), which involves not holding another’s sin against him (i.e., “not remembering”). Then, you are to commit the fault and the person to the Lord since He is the final and righteous Judge (Matthew 16:27; 2 Timothy 4:8; James 5:9).

Scripture uses the term “not to remember” as meaning “ not to mention or bring to mind” or “not to keep an account.” For example, David requested of the Lord “remember not” (literally, “mention not”) the previous sins of his youth (Psalm 25:7).

Scripture uses “forget” in the sense of “escaping notice.” For example, the Apostle Paul could remember (bring to mind) his earlier sins (1 Timothy 1:12-15) yet confidently proclaimed “forgetting” (“not take notice”) those things that were behind in order to press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:13-14).

Nowhere does Scripture require you to have a blank memory about your own sins or sins committed against you. In fact, the memory of certain sins (even though these sins have been forgiven by God) is important for your training in righteousness, to help you not repeat them (for example, notice David’s remembrance of his sins in 2 Samuel 12:13-23 and Psalm 39). The only requirement is for you to forgive others as God in Christ as forgiven you (Ephesians 4:32), even when you clearly remember sins committed against you, which now have no power over you.

Is It Necessary, As Some Teach, For You to “Forgive God” for What Has Happened in Your Life?

God, in His majestic holiness (Exodus 15:11; Isaiah 6:3; Revelation 4:8) and righteous judgment (Psalm 7:11, 50:6), is kind in all His deed and is righteous in all His ways (Psalm 145:17), is abundant in lovingkindness (Psalm 118:1-4; Lamentations 3:22-23), and is blameless (Psalm 18:30).

Needing to “forgive God” implies that:

You can usurp God’s authority as the sole Judge when you are forbidden even to judge your neighbor (James 4:12); and

God as sinned, which is an impossibility (Deuteronomy 32:3-4; Psalm 145:17; James 1:17; 1 John 1:5).

Forgiveness requires the shedding of blood (Hebrews 9:22).

God the Father sent His sinless Son, Jesus Christ, to shed His blood (Hebrews 9:14) in order that you could be forgiven of sin for all eternity and thus have a basis to forgive others (Ephesians 1:7; Colossians 3:13).

Neither you nor any other person (beside Jesus Christ) can ever shed sinless blood (Romans 3:23) in order to have a basis to forgive others eternally.

The unbiblical concept of “forgiving God” is not only an affront to God’s holiness, the sanctity of His plan of sacrificial forgiveness, and His sovereign rule in this life; but it further illustrates the steps that man will take to exalt self instead of dying to self.

What About Not Feeling Like Forgiving Another or Not Feeling Like You Have Been Forgiven?

Even if you do not “feel like” forgiving another, you can and must obey Scripture and forgive others as God has forgiven you (Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13). Biblical forgiveness is costly and often difficult, but it is possible (based on 2 Corinthians 3:5-6; Philippians 2:12-13). It is not necessary for you to think your forgiveness of another is “fair” or equitable. Forgiving others is not to be based on your “feelings” or perceived equity but instead is based on God’s merciful forgiveness of you (for example: Romans 5:8).

As a child of God, even if you do not “feel forgiven” after sincerely confessing your sin(s), God’s Word promises that you are completely forgiven and cleansed by God, who is completely faithful and just (1 John 1:9). God’s promise of forgiveness seals the fact of your forgiveness, regardless of your feelings.

As a child of God, your sins which have been forgiven by God do not hinder your present standing before the Lord (Romans 8:31-34; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11; Ephesians 2:1-7).

In spite of how you “feel” about your forgiven sins, you are to press forward to your high calling in Christ Jesus and forget (don’t take notice of, disregard) what is in your past (Philippians 3:12-14).