I've Got Peace Like A River

What would happen to the family if there was no Church?

I’m sure over the years ya’ll have picked up that one of my “foundational” verses, if you want to call it that, is Romans 1:20 “For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.”

We’ve all been stunned by a beautiful sunrise or sunset.

Almost everyone turns into a babbling loon around a newborn baby.

Many of our vacation destinations are the mountains or the beach - places were we can stare off into the expanse and be - awestruck.

But beyond simply being awestruck and whispering to ourselves, “God did this,” if we pay attention, we can see all around us HOW God works.

Not just that He works and has created things - but HOW does He do things.

If you walk the Appalachian Trial northward from Georgia, you’ll crest a mountain called Wesser Bald.

From that crest, you will begin a moderately steep descent into the town of Wesser located on the Nantahala River.

A few years ago our Middle School camp did a rafting trip down the Nantahala - maybe some of you remember.

That’s some of the coldest water on the planet.

As you descend from Wesser Bald, there is a spring of water not too far from the top.

As you continue your descent, the spring picks up some other water and becomes a branch.

The trail twists and turns and in a bit it bumps up against that water again and now it’s a full fledged stream.

And finally, when you get to some flat land down in the valley, that stream runs into the Nantahala River.

Giant rivers don’t just appear - they grow.

That’s pretty much how God does things.

We don’t simply know everything about the Lord all at once.

One thing builds on another.

We’ve studied Genesis 1 through 12 together.

We’ve studied Exodus 20:1-17 together.

And it was kind of surprising, but not really, both of those provide the ground work for what we are studying today.

Our text for today is 1 Timothy 5:3-16.

You’ll want to open your Bibles there - if you don’t have one with you, there is one in the pew racks and if you don’t own a Bible, please take one of ours as our gift to you.

Just to bring us up to speed, this young church at Ephesus has people in it and people were doing people things.

Some people became very devout in their faith in Jesus.

They followed Jesus to the absolute best of their ability.

They prayed, they read the Bible and they did their best to apply what they were learning.

They were doing good works that God’s people tend to do.

But some people were restless.

There were other preachers in other churches preaching other things and they sounded very fascinating.

These new teachings were exciting and new and special.

And they contradicted some of the basic Jesus things, but that wasn’t that big of a deal.

Instead of slow and steady, they found something that could give them their best life now.

Needless to say, a serious conflict broke out in the church.

Paul heard about it and he sent young Timothy in to get the train back on it’s track.

1 Timothy 5:3–16 ESV

Honor widows who are truly widows. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God. She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day, but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives. Command these things as well, so that they may be without reproach. But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband, and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work. But refuse to enroll younger widows, for when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry and so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith. Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not. So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander. For some have already strayed after Satan. If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her care for them. Let the church not be burdened, so that it may care for those who are truly widows.

This is the word of the Lord, thanks be to God.

God has a soft spot for women who have lost their husbands and for children who have lost their parents.

Exodus 22:22 ESV

You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child.

Deuteronomy 10:18 ESV

He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing.

Psalm 68:5 ESV

Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.

Psalm 146:9 ESV

The Lord watches over the sojourners; he upholds the widow and the fatherless, but the way of the wicked he brings to ruin.

Isaiah 1:17 ESV

learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause.

James 1:27 ESV

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

You cannot listen to God’s heart and not realize that it is God’s will that orphans and widows should be cared for.

You might remember the story from Acts 6 where the church squabbled because some widows were being treated better than other widows.

A “Widow” ministry - if you will - was and should be a part of Jesus’ church.

If we are going to Be the Church, it appears we have to Be for widows.

But now here’s the problem.

People go to church.

And people do strange things.

You’d think a widow was a widow, right?

In the Ephesian church, there were four types of widows.

1 Timothy 5:3 “Honor widows who are truly widows.”

What makes a widow “truly” a widow?

Look at verse 5 1 Timothy 5:5 “She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day,”

She who is truly a widow is a woman who has no family period.

Her husband has died, she has no children or relatives who can help take care of her.

And in their society, it was very difficult to live as a elderly woman on your own.

But even here there is a distinction.

A widow who is truly a widow that deserves to be helped by the church....

Now stop right there - deserves to be helped?

Doesn’t everyone deserve to be helped?

Well, no.

Have you ever heard an economic term called “scarcity of resources?”

That simply means that the demand out strips the supply.

That’s what’s happening in the Ephesian church - and every church for that matter.

There’s just not enough money to take care of everybody.

So the exercise becomes, who really needs help and who doesn’t.

That’s what the passage is about.

The church is in turmoil.

They have a system set up where destitute widows can sign up and get a stipend from the church to be able to buy food and pay for a place to live.

The problem is there are so many widows on the role, the church’s finances are collapsing and if it keeps going, no one will be helped.

So, the fair and right question to be asked is, who deserves to be helped.

Widow number 1 is “truly” a widow

So widow number 1, who deserves to be helped is a widow who is truly a widow.

She is left all alone, her only hope is God - “and [she] continues in supplications and prayers night and day.”

Supplications is a good church word but this is what it means - a supplication is a prayer of desperation.

Your mama or daddy is dying, your child is sick and no one knows what it is, your spouse has cancer - your prayers shift gears from, “Lord, please bless Buffy and Jody” to, “Oh, Dear Jesus, please help us.”

A widow who is truly a widow is a woman who has lost her husband, she has no one else and if God does not intervene, she will die.

If you look on down to verses 9 and 10 you’ll find this woman, 1 Timothy 5:9-10 “…[has] been the wife of one husband, (a one man woman just like a deacon is a one woman man) and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work.”

In other words, she is a Godly woman and everyone can see it.

If that’s her, then put her on the widow role and take care of her.

Why does Paul only talk about widows and not widowers?

Because men without a spouse could get along better in their economy - they could continue to work and care for themselves.

Economic opportunity for elderly women in particular was practically non-existent.

Widow number 2 has children and grandchildren

Widow number two - look at verse 4 1 Timothy 5:4 “But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.”

Remember the opening illustration about the spring that became a creek and eventually became a river?

1 Timothy is us playing in the river.

But here is the spring that feeds it Exodus 20:12

Exodus 20:12 ESV

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

Look at Paul’s application.

“But if a widow has children or grandchildren...”

What is God’s will for your life?

God’s will is for you to make sure your mother and father are cared for in their old age.

How do I know this is right?

Beyond the fact it is plainly stated here, I know what God’s reaction to you doing it is - “for this is pleasing in the sight of God.”

Let me speak to all of you who are taking care of your parents right now.

I’ve watched my mom take care of her parents.

I’ve watched many of you sacrificially take care of your parents.

It’s been hard.

It’s been exhausting.

And the ultimate reward of all of your hard work is, you still lose your parents.

You have cried.

You’ve railed at God and everyone and you’ve felt guilty for doing that.

But you haven’t stopped.

I’ve said to a few of you that you are doing God’s work.

You see that I’m not just spitting words at you right?

What you are doing is pleasing in the sight of God.

You are bringing glory to God by faithfully following what He has taught you to do.

God bless you for honoring your father and your mother.

Now, look back at this verse again - Paul says “children or grandchildren.”

So grand kids, if your mom and die pass, but grand mom is still alive - although your granddad is dead, your grand mom is not a widow indeed.

Because she has you and God says for you to honor her.

Why should you make that sacrifice?

Beyond the fifth commandment we just read, consider this: If your grand mother had not given birth to your parent, you would not exist.

That said, because you do exist, you now have the chance to behold the glory of God.

You can see and follow Jesus.

You can have life forever with Jesus and your kin that are Christ followers in a new heaven and a new earth.

You can know the one that created worlds and cares enough to make sure that even the least of these can be changed by Jesus.

Jesus has invited you to join Him on the most epic of journeys.

And that journey began for you the moment your parents were conceived.

They may have been horrible parents - but they gave you a life that is called to see the glory of God.

Honor your father and your mother has no small print.

Widow number 2 has family - she is not a “widow indeed.”

The church should not support her.

Widow number 3 does not know Jesus

Widow number 3 - look at verse 6 1 Timothy 5:6 “but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives.”

This widow is self-indulgence - this could also be rendered, “lived for pleasure,” proves that she is not a Christ follower.

She is outside the faith.

The church should not support her.

I know that sounds cold but remember scarcity of resources.

If you give everything to everybody, eventually you’ll give nothing to anybody.

Widow number 4 needs a husband

Widow number 4 look at verse 11 & 12 1 Timothy 5:11-12 “But refuse to enroll younger widows, for when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry and so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith.”

How do you define younger?

Back up in verse 9, Paul says, “1 Timothy 5:9 “Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age...”

Why 60?

I’m just the messenger, ok?

Because in Paul’s day, society said when you were 60, you were officially old.

So a widow has to be a widow indeed and over 60 to be taken care of by the church.

But anyone under 60 - let me explain what was going on.

Churches are full of people right?

Already, just among widows, we’ve seen three types of them.

A widow that if God didn’t help them they’d die and they were devoutly calling out to him.

A widow who was on the church role getting money from the church because their family wasn’t taking care of them.

A widow who was not a Christian but wanted hand outs from the Christians.

Some of those things are kind of sketchy right - but people inhabit the church and people can be kind of sketchy at times.

These young widows saw a chance at easy street.

Yes their husbands had died and that was tragic.

But instead of needing a husband or anyone else for that matter, she could draw a check from the church and live a life of leisure.

And some were doing that.

They went from house to house, seeing each other every day, partying like it was 1999.

Talking about what happened on 90 Day Fiance’ and Life After Lockup.

They ran into some of the false teachers and they bought into their idea of no marriage and no husbands and no kids makes a great life.

So they started teaching it to other young widows.

And Paul said enough of that.

We will not pay them to bring dishonor on Jesus’ Church.

In fact, in verse 15, Paul called what they were doing Satanic: 1 Timothy 5:15 “For some have already strayed after Satan.”

You don’t pay Satan to be in your Church.

It is humorous to me that when I first started looking over Paul’s letter to Timothy, when I read this I thought, what in the world do you do with this?

We have a widow ministry.

Our Deacons are assigned widows and widowers that we stay in touch with to make sure they are ok.

We don’t have a system of income for them but if someone needs help, we certainly find ways to help them.

So we’ve talked about widows and we have a widow ministry - jobs done, move on, right?

Remember we said we’re swimming in the river here?

There is so much flowing into this that we really could spend a number of weeks mining this out.

There is a theology of benevolence that flows into this river.

Knowing we have a scarcity of resources - we don’t have enough money to support everyone in Gray, much less Jones County.

Who do you help?

Who do you not help?

Why.

There is a theology of work that flows into this river.

Paul very famously says, 2 Thessalonians 3:10

2 Thessalonians 3:10 ESV

For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.

There is a theology of vows to look at here.

In verse 12 Paul says, 1 Timothy 5:12 “and so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith.”

How does that work?

You’ve made a vow and you break it and condemnation is involved?

What is all of that about.

And there is the theology of the law.

Paul builds most of his argument on the fifth commandment.

And we know that following the Ten Commandments doesn’t make us right with God.

Simply because we can’t do them - their whole point is to show us we can’t so we’ll come to Jesus to be saved.

But once we are saved and we follow Jesus.

We’ll, this passage kind of proves doesn’t it, that we’ll end up doing the commandments as best we can.

So let me ask our question again,

What would happen to the family is we had no church?

We are beginning to see.

Church membership in the United States fell from 70% in 1999 to 47% in 2020.

I’m no sociologist but I suspect the Boomer kids are coming of age now.

In the 50’s and 60’s, we started redefining manhood, womanhood, marriage and God.

And what has it bought us?

40% of all babies born now are born outside of marriage.

34% of all single mom homes live in poverty.

A study by the Minnesota Psychological Association says, “"Coming from a fatherless home can contribute to a child having more emotional problems, such as anxiety and depression. Fatherless children may start thinking that they are worth less than other children who have fathers and wonder why their father abandoned them. This may also lead to an increased risk of suicide and/or self-injurious behaviors. Children who do not grow up with a father are also more likely to be aggressive and exhibit other externalizing problems (Osborne & McLanahan, 2007). Children from a father-absent home are also more likely to become depressed, have suicidal thoughts, anxiety, social withdrawals, and school absences if they see or hear their parents fighting (Flouri, 2007). "

When God created the heavens and the earth, he created a mom and a dad.

He gave them children who grew to form a community designed to give glory to God and help each other.

But we had false teachers come in and teach us a better way.

Their teaching bedazzled some and our silence has allowed the bedazzling to continue.

We’ve got to re-explore the streams that feed into the river we play in.

It’s really important.

And one last thing in case you are a quick thinking young person.

Did I say our problems were caused by the Boomers?

Yes, we allowed a lot of things to happen that shouldn’t have.

But let me say this about that.

Don’t stand before God and blame it on the Boomers.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

It’s up to you to search for Jesus and hear Jesus so you can be justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.

We might have messed some thing up, but Jesus will always save.