CHILDREN: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to
walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and
shut-up.
Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
word what you shouldn't have said.
The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
We child-proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your retirement home...