2022-02-27 Forgiveness

Forgiveness

BLURB

You may be carrying around guilt from hurting someone or bitterness from someone hurting you. But God never meant for you to live that way! In this message, I’m going to share with you the meaning of forgiveness, a word that was best demonstrated by Jesus Christ on the cross.

INTRO

Any body been on a plane trip? Train trip? Winter trip? Guilt trip?

Guilt isn’t fun. It’s a terrible feeling that is damaging in many ways. But God doesn’t want us to feel guilty, and instead of hiding our guilt Jesus wants us to admit it and believe he will forgive us completely. The cross is more important than just Jesus dying for our sins. Jesus’ first words at his death in Luke 23 were words of love: “Father, forgive them …” In this message we’ll look at what we usually do with our guilt, what Jesus wants us to do with it, and what we need to believe about how Jesus will handle our guilt.

Story of forgiveness

Matt Lee - cattle prod. I hurt him. I went and asked for them to forgive me, and they did. I apologized to him. I apologized to his mom. She forgave me. Not right away. But she did.

It was hard, not easy.

There are times in our lives where we each need to forgive. And to be forgiven.

Jesus is the perfect example of this.

I want to share with you what he says from the cross.

Luke 23:27–37 (NIV)

A large number of people followed him, including women who mourned and wailed for him. Jesus turned and said to them, “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me; weep for yourselves and for your children. For the time will come when you will say, ‘Blessed are the childless women, the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed!’ Then

“ ‘they will say to the mountains, “Fall on us!”

and to the hills, “Cover us!” ’

For if people do these things when the tree is green, what will happen when it is dry?”

Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed. When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him. They said, “He saved others; let him save himself if he is God’s Messiah, the Chosen One.”

The soldiers also came up and mocked him. They offered him wine vinegar and said, “If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself.”

The first word that Jesus gives from the cross is what I call the word of forgiveness. Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing.

3 Things About Guilt

What I want to do today is look at what we normally do with our guilt, what God wants us to do with our guilt and how to be free from our guilt. If you’re carrying any guilt there’s no reason you should walk out of here with it today. This is the time to let it go and get it dealt with. The word of forgiveness.

1. What we usually do with our guilt.

Facebook Comments: So helpful - These are just a few...

Alcohol. Drugs. Overwhelm themselves with busyness. Buy lavish gifts for the victims. Self harm. Good works.

a. We Bury It

bury with alcohol, drugs, spending sprees, work and overwork...

bury - walk away from it. - Now on the internet and searchable

Proverbs 28:13 (NIV)

Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper,

but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

b. We Blame Others

One Facebook user - we’ll just call him Andy… said Justify their actions by convincing themselves it’s not their fault. We externalize. I mean… just look at Adam and Eve...

Genesis 3:12 (NIV)

The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

So if Adam did it… we can externalize our guilt by blaming it on Adam, who blamed it on Eve, actually Adam blamed it on God who made Eve. Kinda like a relative of mine who went to his mother-in-law when he had a problem with his wife! How silly!

What does Jesus want you to do with guilt? He wants you to do two things. Write these down.

Number one, the Bible is very clear, very specific about how to get off a guilt trip. The steps are simple but they’re not easy.

2. What Jesus wants us to do with our guilt.

a. Admit it

Sometimes when we run from guilt we try to run from it by keeping busy and we keep ourselves so busy overworking.

1 John 1:8 (NIV)

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.

circle we deceive ourselves.

That’s why guilt is so devastating in your life. You can hide it from others. You can hide it from others but you cannot hide it from yourself.

So you’ve got to start by just admitting it.

I want you to write this down on your outline:

To stop defeating myself I must stop deceiving myself. If you don’t get anything else, get this – to stop defeating myself I must stop deceiving myself.

What are you pretending is not a problem in your life? It’s not a habit. It’s not an addiction. It’s not a problem. I can handle it. What are you pretending isn’t a problem in your life? If I want to stop defeating myself I’ve got to stop deceiving myself.

Lamentations 3:40 (NIV)

Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.

So here’s what I’d highly recommend you do this week. This is a good time to do it. Get alone with God, get a blank sheet of paper. Maybe a little yellow pad and a pencil or a pen. And just ask God to bring to mind anything in your life that needs to be confessed. Then just write it down. Nobody’s going to see this list. Right now you’re just going to write it all down, that you feel unconsciously guilty about.

You make a list of all the faults that come to mind. You take your time.

You say why do I need to write it down? Why can’t I just think about it? Can’t I just think about it?

No, you can’t. Something about writing it down on paper makes it specific.

Francis Bacon said, “Reading makes a broad man; writing makes a specific man.” Thoughts disentangle themselves when they pass through the lips and the fingertips. When you can say it and you can write it then you’ve really thought about it. But if you just think about it in your mind it’s not serious. So it forces you to be specific.

b. Accept Responsibility

That’s the second step. That means I’m not going to blame anybody else. They may be 99 percent at fault and I’m one percent at fault. All I’m going to deal with is my one percent right now. I’m not dealing with your problem, your sin, your hang up. I’m dealing with me. I accept responsibility.

And again I don’t rationalize it and say it happened so long ago. And I don’t blame others and say it was mostly their fault. I don’t minimize it. I don’t make excuses.

Psalm 51:3 (NIV)

For I know my transgressions,

and my sin is always before me.

What is the best way to insure that you have accepted responsibility for the dumb things you’ve done in your life? What’s the best way to do that?

This is going to shock you. I told you it’s simple but it’s not easy. The best way to accept responsibility is to tell one other person. Oh no! You’ve got to be kidding me! My deepest, darkest, dirtiest secret? Yeah.

You don’t go tell a gossip. And you certainly don’t Tweet about it. You find somebody who’s going to be a friend, who’s going to love you unconditionally. That’s what a friend does. A friend walks in when everybody else walks out.

A friend is somebody who can listen to your worst sin and will still love you. And everybody needs one person in their life like that. Admit your fault to another person.

In fact God says this is an essential key to letting go of guilt.

Let me stop right here. Many of you have confessed your sins to God and you still feel guilty. Because you haven’t done this step. You have confessed your sin to God over and over and over and you still feel guilty. But you’ve never told one other person. Here’s what God says.

James 5:16 NIV

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Let me explain this. If you want to be forgiven for the stuff you’ve done wrong all you need to do is to tell God. But if you want to be healed of the negative emotions you need to tell one other person.

I’ll say it again. If all you do is want to be forgiven you just need to tell God. But you’ll still be haunted by your own emotions. But if you want to be set free you need to tell one other person. Write it down – tell one other person. The Bible says, “Confess your faults one to another. Pray for each other that you may be healed.” How many times have I said this? Revealing your feeling is the beginning of healing. Revealing your feeling is the beginning of healing.

You say I don’t want to do that. Then you want to carry the guilt the rest of your life. Fine. You can take it out on yourself. If you don’t talk it out you’re going to take it out on your body. And when you swallow your negative emotions your stomach keeps score.

People say, “Oh my aching back! Oh my aching neck! Oh my aching stomach.” Maybe it’s what’s eating you. God says admit your faults to each other so that you may be healed.

Why do I need to drag one other person into this? I’ll tell you why. Get this. It’s simple to say but it’s profound in its meaning. The root of all our problems is relational. You say, no. This is just between me and God.

No it wasn’t. The root of all our problems is relational. You are reacting still to relationships in your life that you didn’t like. Today you’re still reacting to relationships you didn’t like. And those relationships may have been a long, long time ago but they’re still pushing you in a direction that you don’t want to go.

As your pastor who loves you and cares for you, I’m telling you that the root of your problems is relational. And we’re all dishonest with each other when we play games and we wear masks and we pretend.

Write this down. Here’s another one to write down. We’ve talked about this before: I’m only as sick as my secrets.

Ask for forgiveness. There are so many promises in the Bible about forgiveness if you’ll take these three steps. 1 John 1:9 is the most famous one.

1 John 1:9 (NIV)

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

First, don’t beg. “Oh God, please, please, please, pretty please with sugar on it and a cherry on top. Oh God, please, please, please.” Like God is unwilling to forgive you. No. He’s more willing to forgive you than you are willing to admit it. God is more willing to forgive you than you are willing to admit it. You don’t have to bribe or bargain or beg God. You don’t bribe and say God, if you’ll forgive me then I’ll do this good work. You don’t bargain. God, if you’ll forgive me I’ll never do it again. God says, “Yeah, right! So, same time tomorrow then?”

Forgiveness does not change the future. It clears up the past. That’s another episode we need to deal with later on in this series. But you don’t beg. You don’t need to. God wants to forgive you. You don’t bargain – I’ll never do it again. Just ask.

c. Ask for FORGIVENESS

step 1 is admit it step 2 is accept responsibility, and we ask for forgiveness. That’s what Jesus wants us to do with our guild...

3. What Jesus does with my guilt

1 John 1:9 NIV

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

So what does Jesus do when we do it his way and ask his forgiveness for sin? We admit, we accept responsibility, we ask for forgiveness. Write these four words down.

He forgives me INSTANTLY

Instantly. You don’t have to suffer a little while first. He never makes you wait. He doesn’t say I’ll think about it. The moment you ask – zero delay. Should a believer ever feel guilty for sin? Yeah, about ten seconds. That’s about how long it takes to confess and receive forgiveness from God. The myth is that feeling guilty makes me a better person. It does not. Feeling guilty does not make you a better person. God doesn’t want you to walk around in guilt. It just makes you miserable. It’s unnecessary for holiness.

He forgives me COMPLETELY

He forgives completely. He’s not just quick and merciful to forgive. When Jesus died for your sins which ones did he include on the cross? Every one of them. Even the ones that you haven’t committed yet have already been paid for on the cross. He died for all of them. When he said, Father, forgive them; they don’t know what they’re doing, it included everything you ever have and ever will do wrong.

Colossians 2:13–14 (NIV)

When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross.

He forgives me REPEATEDLY

God forgives repeatedly. Have you ever committed the same sin more than once? Yes. Then do you feel embarrassed to ask for forgiveness again the next time? Yeah. Oh, I can’t come back to God for this one. I just confessed it five minutes ago. God does not get bored with your confessions. It is God’s nature to be forgiving. Hebrews 7:25, “(Christ)... is always interceding on our behalf.” He forgives repeated. Over and over and over. He doesn’t get embarrassed; you don’t need to.

Hebrews 7:25 NIV

Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.

He forgives me FREELY

You don’t earn it, you don’t deserve it. It’s a gift of God’s grace. Because you are human forgiveness is your greatest need. And because Christ died for you, forgiveness is God’s greatest gift.

Ephesians 1:7 (NIV)

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace

God wants you to never forget what it cost Jesus to pay for your sins. God never wants you to forget what it cost his Son to pay for your sins. God never wants you to forget what Jesus did in order to forgive you.

God wants to give you happiness and God wants to give you relief from the guilt that you felt for the things you’ve done wrong in your life.

Story about Wendell

God wants to give you happiness and God wants to give you relief from the guilt that you felt for the things you’ve done wrong in your life.

If you’ve never settled this issue I want you to do it right now. I want you to accept, admit and ask so you can be free from guilt and receive Jesus Christ as your Savior and as your Lord. You don’t have to beat yourself up any more. You don’t have to belittle yourself any more.