Actions Speak Volumes

Introduction

Good morning church....

Much has happened this past week.

Ukraine

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Relationships

Relationships are crucial to a believer. Our faith is not solely based on accepting Jesus and that’s that, but it’s meant to be incredibly relational.

From the moment God looked at Adam and said he needs someone now....

We don’t get to become new creations and then avoid others.

We have to be new creations with other new creations making an impact on those that haven’t become new in Christ. This impact comes through our words and our actions.

We don’t get to cut ourselves off to the world. We have to immerse ourselves in it for it’s good.

As mentioned last week, we have expectations and those expectations are laced with our responsibility to those around us in this world.

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Matthew 5:13 CSB

13 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt should lose its taste, how can it be made salty? It’s no longer good for anything but to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet.

In this verse, plucked from the sermon on the mount, Jesus is laying the foundation for the Christian life. And He paints two images here for us.

The first is salt… he also goes on to talk about us being the light too.

It can seem rather odd for him to relate us..to salt. A table condiment. But the reality is that salt was incredibly important for them during this time and Jesus I’m sure had a few reasons for using it that resonated with who he was preaching to.

First, Salt was often used as a preservative to keep things from rotting. They would take salt and rub it into meat so it would not spoil and it would help keep bacteria from poisoning the food. It was so important that wars were fought over salt.

Second, salt was then and is mainly used today for flavoring things.

Who enjoys salt?

Who has been told they need less salt?

Have you ever tasted a dish without salt and immediately thought, this needs salt. It’s important to us for our food. Anyone ever eat a french fry without salt? Do I need to say more?! And if you enjoy that, please sign up for the prayer list.

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Salt can either increase our desire for a food or often the lack of will quickly deter us from eating it.

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Now you might be looking at this verse going what is he talking about salt losing it’s taste and being made salty again.

Not to get too bogged down in the science but most salt in the ancient world was obtained through salt marshes rather than by evaporation of salt water. Sodium chloride is a stable compound which means salt doesn’t lose its taste. But salt from marshes had lots of impurities. The salt was more soluble than those impurities and it would literally leak out leaving behind a residue that was worthless.

Be impressed… :)

So, here was his point-

We are to be the salt of the earth. Jesus tell us at the start of this section. But what exactly does that mean?

Jesus was directing us to look at salt so we can see the relation behind it’s function for preservation and flavor so we could see our function for preservation in this world and our need to make things better. Godly.

Simply put salt keeps things from going bad and makes things better.

So....

We must be living our lives in such a way that our words and actions bring the message of salvation and enhance life for others.

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That’s why our interactions with others is so important and that our relationships are key.

Colossians 4:5–6 CSB

5 Act wisely toward outsiders, making the most of the time. 6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer each person.

As we go about our daily business, the Gospel has to be at the foundation of everything we do, so that it’s literally salted all over every interaction we have.

We have been called into Holiness. Once we place our trust in the power of the cross there is a new nature. This is his warning about salt losing it’s taste. If we aren’t living our life under the power of the cross, pointing people to it then we are like salt with no flavor. And salt with no flavor is no good and worthless.

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This finds itself at the heart of Paul’s message today in how we interact with others and how our relationships should be built. Whether it’s with a spouse, kids, or with strangers.

Please stand...

Colossians 3:18–4:1 CSB

18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and don’t be bitter toward them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they won’t become discouraged. 22 Slaves, obey your human masters in everything. Don’t work only while being watched, as people-pleasers, but work wholeheartedly, fearing the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, do it from the heart, as something done for the Lord and not for people, 24 knowing that you will receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord. You serve the Lord Christ. 25 For the wrongdoer will be paid back for whatever wrong he has done, and there is no favoritism. 1 Masters, deal with your slaves justly and fairly, since you know that you too have a Master in heaven.

Pray

As we dig in to this…particularly verse 18, I need you all to understand something very very important....

I am merely the messenger. I did not write this, it wasn’t my idea....

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So, as we get into these verses, Paul basically side steps a little bit. The mode and tone of these verses is different. They are short instructions and very direct. It may even seem like Paul got sidetracked on something.

BUT, he didn’t. He literally just finished laying out our expectations for what we should not be doing and for what we should be doing.

Now, he’s furthering that idea into practical scenarios. Now, he doesn’t flesh them out completely, but that’s what he’s laying the foundation for... how we relate practically in relationships, within the expectations of God.

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Wives, trust your husbands Godly leadership.

Verse 18-

Before I move into this....this says wives....for a reason.

Now, where this is going is not the most popular view in our society. It’s even very much challenged in many evangelical circles, but the reality is God has created a system for us.

It’s not chauvinistic, and certainly that wasn’t Paul’s intention. It’s not demeaning to women, it doesn’t lessen women in any way or devalue them or say that men are more valuable than women.

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If we aren’t careful, that’s where we can go with it though. Paul is simply stating for married women to trust their Godly husbands and the leadership that God has granted the husband.

We have to realize that God is a God of order. And without order, things get messy and chaotic. And for anybody that has been married for more than 5 mins realizes that without a level of structure and leading, things get messy and chaotic.

And this goes for many things in our world....God has instituted a level of structure and guidance for our benefit.

Paul expands this thought to the church in Ephesus-

Ephesians 5:22–24 CSB

22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, 23 because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.

The marriage relationship is supposed to be this relationship that mimics our relationship to Christ.

And this is a relationship that is there to benefit each person in the marriage relationship. And let me be clear on this.

A biblical definition of marriage is the spiritual joining of a man and a woman-

Genesis 1:27 NASB95

27 God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

And as God created, He made woman to be a helpmate to her husband.

Genesis 2:18 NASB95

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

And understand this, ladies and gentlemen…this does not mean women are inferior to men or that wives must be the slaves of their husbands.

It literally means they are there to come alongside their husband. Be his biggest cheerleader. Be his help in times of need. Be the encouragement as he leads you and the family, particularly when he is discouraged. Hold him accountable, lovingly, as he leads you. Above all, love him as the Lord has shown. That is how it’s fitting to the Lord.

Greek Alert-

Ez-air -Help and Assistance.

And to be clear- this doesn’t mean clean and cook and shop and take care of the kids and change diapers....Now many women are inclined to do these things as a way to help their husband. But in itself that’s not what this is meaning. Men can cook…and clean…and shop....and definitely parent.

When we break this down, there is zero about this role that is demeaning or lessening....It’s a huge, difficult, tiring, challenging responsibility....And it’s made specifically for women....and to be perfectly honest, it’s difficult for most men.

Our roles are specific for a reason, it’s because God has blessed us with the ability to do them. We need to not fight them but instead embrace them.

But let me remind us here....ladies, submit yourself to your husbands leadership.

What if he isn’t leading?

And what does leading even mean?

If he is not leading....hold him accountable to lead....remind him, encourage him you want that…and you should......LOVINGLY. Remember, your frustrations do not mean you can throw out the expectations that Paul just laid out for us that define us as Christ followers....even with a stubborn husband.

And to give a picture of what this should look like....there should be praying, there should be bible study, there should be love and sacrifice, bring you and the family to church....making Jesus the priority. Initiated by him.

It’s hard, but that’s what it means to be led and when he makes a decision or is discipling you and your kids....you are there to support.

Are you being the helpmate that God has called you to?

What areas of this do you need to work on?

Let your husband lead.

And ladies, men and husbands are met with their own challenging obstacles that God has laid out....

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Husbands, sacrifice for your wives.

Men, if we think the ladies objective is difficult and ours is easy and simple…then guess again…because as much as they are supposed to be our helpmate, this is not a relationship that is one sided in the giving and doing department.

Here Paul, calls us to love our wives and to be gentle with them.

Let’s start with the gentle thing or not being harsh or bitter…This is an expectation we are called to have regardless but more so with our wives. Why?

Because of who they are supposed to be to us. And we should be building them up and taking care of them. We should strive to never be harsh, demanding, belittling or even cruel in any way.

And to further look at the idea. When we aren’t gentle, and allow bitterness or harshness to set in, we don’t love, but hold grudges.

And you may say, well, she’s not nice to me....big deal. It’s called being a grown up. When she is anything but loving....love her back and lead her.

That’s your job. Step up men.

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Marriage is not supposed to be simple and easy. It’s supposed to take work and effort and sacrifice and humility to make sure you work through the difficulties.

This isn’t something you get to try out and if it doesn’t work out, you move on. That’s not God’s intention for marriage and it’s definitely not His intention for the varying relationships in our lives.

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1 Corinthians 11:3 CSB

3 But I want you to know that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of the woman, and God is the head of Christ.

Men, our example is Christ. And if Christ is the example in how he loved the church. That has to be how we love and lead our wives.

Ephesians 5:25 CSB

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her

This literally means that we must be sacrificial for our wives.

The idea here..... it’s a choice. As in any covenant, you must choose to agree and abide. Every day when you get up…you have to choose…will I love and lead today or not.

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You should be willing to sacrifice your time to do things for her, to lead her in prayer and bible study, to just do what she asks of you. Remember, she is called to go above and beyond for you. You should be sacrificing your wants for hers as you lead. And above all, you should be willing and ready to lay down your life for her.

To be a husband, takes incredible resolve, if we do it the way God has called us to.

Men-

Are you loving your wife they way that Jesus loves the church?

Are you biblically leading her?

Are you content with where things are or are you constantly desiring to grow and nurture the relationship?

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Our gender roles as God defines them, particularly in marriage are crucial. They aren’t sexist, biased, demeaning or unequal. But they accentuate the gifts each has that the other isn’t as good at. That’s the key here. We have them because they are our strengths. And we are to be lifting each other up and supporting the other.

Biblical marriage roles call both men and women to sacrifice for the other in God honoring equality but yet unique and loving ways.

Understand this....true Godly equality does not mean we are necessarily at the same level, it’s more about how we treat one another within our God given positions. And that is the focus God wants for us in our relationships, particularly our married ones. Men, you are the head of the household, but that is a position of love, humility and sacrifice. Women, you are the helpmate to your husband. That is not demeaning but a position of strength, perseverance, commitment and sacrifice. We are each blessed in what we do as we are called by God.

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Now, it’s already been a major theme but at this point, Paul is really pushing the need for obedience.

We must obey the Lord in an effort to show others Jesus.

Our roles as husbands and wives are key to our relationships with each other but also for our kids.

Now, kids, teens....you must obey your parents. This is not a new command in scripture. We see in the ten commandments to honor our father and mother.

Disobedience was pretty highly ranked and made the bad lists.

2 Timothy 3:2 ESV

2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,

Romans 1:30 ESV

30 slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents,

Obedience was something that was viewed as pleasing to the Lord. And it honors parents, who are leading their kids in the Lord. That’s key.

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Parents, especially Fathers, we have a huge responsibility to our kids. We are to be raising them in the Lord, exhibiting the qualities that God desires of us so that they see it in action.

This is the warning to us right here. We can do things that cause our children to lose heart, become discouraged and walk away.

Fathers, the first and best thing you can do for your kids....love their mother. They need to know you love her through word and action.

Second, show them you love them. Talk to them, Allow them liberties and freedoms. If they only ever hear no from you or harsh condemnation when they do wrong, they won’t trust you. And if they don’t trust you, they won’t listen to the truth of God’s Word when it and if it comes out of your mouth.

Third, lead them in the study of scripture, prayer and song.

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Be Fathers and parents, that love and lead their families.

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Now, this last part is speaking of the relationship to the master and the slave. In our present context this equivalent is employer and employee.

The idea for us though as believers-

We must work hard in this life as to be an example so that all around us know who we really serve…Jesus.

Now, these verses have often been cited to criticize Paul as a racist or that he endorses slavery. Or even that God endorses slavery. This is not the case. Here and other areas of Scripture, we don’t see God endorse or out right condemn it, instead He commands us on both sides on how we should treat each other.

As a slave or let’s put it in our modern context, employee..if you love your master or boss, you may win them over and they may come to know Christ. When they know Christ their actions and attitudes should change as a new creation.

This is the major point Paul is making here.....we have the list of expectations as believers.....here is an easy way to sum it up- love God, love others and treat people well as defined by the Lord.

Man, will always let us down, but God has given us hope in Jesus and an inheritance as a reward when we believe.

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God does not play favorites and He will punish all levels of wrong doing....sin.

But we serve Christ more than we serve those around us....so that is who we need to be concerned with pleasing and why we need to always be doing what is righteous in His eyes.

Closing

Gospel

Jesus paid it all for us, which is why we must go through this life striving to serve and lead others to the hope that He gives.

Heaven is our address and there is only one way to get there.

If we proclaim to know Jesus, things have to change in our lives.

This is for our benefit but also for the benefit of those around us.

Colossians 3:11 ESV

11 Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.

He is for everyone. And we are here to carry that message.

The message of the cross must be out loud with our words, but also visible through our actions.

Colossians: The MacArthur New Testament Commentary A Word to Masters

If all Christians displayed the characteristics of relationships as embodied in the principles of this text, the results would be dramatic. Believers would indeed become lights shining in the darkness.

Actions speak volumes...

Pray