Are We Really Talking About This?

INTRO: We live in a sex-saturated world. I mean, it’s everywhere you look. Advertising agencies embrace strategies that exploit the beauty of humanity and prey on the weakness of our minds. Schools cram worldly perversions of sex into the minds of our youth while Hollywood takes advantage of every opportunity to redraw moral boundaries in our homes.

The reality is that while the world has been talking about sex non-stop, most Christians have chosen to avoid the topic. It’s taboo to speak about it in many circles and when it is brought up, it’s quickly squelched with shame-invoking rebuke.

So, once again, we find ourselves addressing a subject that perhaps might make you uncomfortable. But I would encourage you to lean into God’s Word with me. Hear the counsel provided and allow the Holy Spirit to give us His perspective.

After all, it is no secret that God designed sex. As we take notice of Genesis 1-2, we see that it was God who created our bodies - male and female - to be complimentary. He placed in our hearts the appreciation of His design so that we see beauty and feel attraction. All of this was done before the brokenness of sin entered into our world.

It is this sin that has perverted so many of God’s designs. You don’t have to be a keen observer to know that the secular world is in complete rebellion against God. The question that we must ask is “How do we respond?” Is there any hope for us to combat this?

Well, I’ll tell you this, we stand no chance of fighting against the damaging effects of this perversion if we do not talk about it.

ILL: I want you to recognize just how much the society has invaded the church when it comes to sex.

Divorce rates are not noticeably different between those who claim to be Christian and those who do not.

Half of US Christians say casual sex is sometimes or always acceptable (Pew 2020)

Among professing Christian men, 77% look at porn at least monthly. 36% say daily.

35% OF Christian men have had an affair (1 in 3) while 17% of Christian women have (1 in 5)

Some 80 percent of teenagers who say they have been "born again" agree that sex outside of marriage is morally wrong. Still, as many as two-thirds of them violate their own beliefs in their actual behavior.

How do we as a church even begin to address this? Well, the Corinthian Church was asking this question as well.

We can see that they actually wrote the Apostle Paul because there was some confusion about how they should think about sex. (READ v. 1)

So today, we will listen to the Apostle’s counsel and glean from it. I know this might be a bit of an awkward conversation for us to have, but I believe it is necessary. Besides, it’s what Scripture is addressing. If you picked up a bulletin, you can follow along in the sermon guide. Our message is titled “Are We Really Talking About This? - The Christian and Sex”

Now, before we get into Paul’s response to the Corinthian question, we must review the circumstances that brought this question to the forefront. So, we will begin by addressing

The Problem of Sexual Perversion (2a)

We already mentioned that God designed sex. Because it is God’s design, we know that sex is good so long as it is exercised within the parameters of God’s design. But it is the perversion of sex that causes the problem.

Verse 2 begins with the phrase, “Because of sexual immorality...”

ILL: Sex can be likened to fire. Fire is good, so long as it’s in the fireplace. In the fireplace, fire heats the home, it cooks the food, and it provides light to see. But when fire gets out of the fireplace, it destroys the home and can even destroy the lives of those within the home.

When sex is perverted- that is, it’s redefined and misapplied, it is destructive.

That’s what was happening in Corinth. We can see two main expressions of this sexual perversion that are addressed in this passage.

One expression of this perversion is Unrestrained Lust. If you look back into the latter part of chapter 6, you see that people within the church were fulfilling their sexual lusts through prostitutes.

Their understanding of sex was nothing more than a fleshly, carnal desire for physical pleasure. Sex was devalued to nothing more than the fee charged by the prostitute. The only thing that mattered to those that took part in this behavior was that they satisfied their urges. It was casual. Normal. Even acceptable to the culture.

But just because a culture has normalized sexual perversion does not mean that the Christian should embrace it. God did not design sex to be a hook-up.

We see much of this behavior and attitude today.

The other expression evident in Corinth was Celibacy within the marriage. In other words, some Corinthians had understood all expressions of sex to be sinful, even within a marriage. Therefore, they refused to engage in any hanky-panky with their spouse.

This view re-defines sex in such a way that God’s design was demeaned. These folks saw themselves to be holy because of their celibacy. Yet, again this is not what God intended.

Paul may have actually connected this with the prostitute problem. It seems, in his instructions, that some where denying sex to their spouse and creating room for the temptation of fulfilling these desires through other means.

Sexual Perversion ultimately can be expressed in a number of ways. But regardless of its expression, sex outside of God’s design is destructive and sinful.

But we want to be clear. God does have a design. That leads us to Paul’s counsel that

Biblical Marriage is the Solution to Sexual Sin (2b-5)

Listen to what Paul says (READ 205)

Here Paul lays out God’s design for sex.

First, Paul highlights that marriage is between one man and one woman. (2b)

Notice that he does not condone polygamy- that is multiple wives or husbands. (Each has their own!)

He does not describe this relationship as temporary- he says ‘husband and wife’ not boyfriend/ girlfriend.

Next, Paul speaks to the sexual relationship between husband and wife

He describes it as a duty or obligation, but we should see it as the intended expression of mutual submission.

Sex is an act where both parties allow themselves to be vulnerable to one another. This reminds us of Adam and Eve in the Garden before their rebellion. Scripture says they were “naked and unashamed”

ILL: Think about his- love is best demonstrated and received when we are vulnerable. When we are honest and open about who we are and our fears and insecurities are evident, then the love that is received is not fake or superficial. That’s what God intended in marriage.

Look at how Paul describes this- the spouse has authority over their partner’s body. (4)

This is not license for abuse or domineering behavior, but rather a description of our stewardship for our spouse. In a biblical marriage, the husband will tend to his wife’s needs and the wife will tend to her husband’s.

Therefore it was wrong for a married couple to withhold sex from one another unless they agreed upon it and they should use that time to grow closer to God.

ILL: This means that sex should not be used as a bargaining tool to coerce your spouse to do something, nor should it be used to punish your spouse for something.

I remember hearing one Christian counselor who said this: “Marriages don’t really have sex problems… these are