With a Little Help From My Friends

Introduction

Regardless of your season of life, you were made for relationships. Maybe you’re not ready for marriage. That’s okay. Maybe you’re not even ready for a date. That’s also okay. While I believe the Lord uses seasons of consecration in our lives to grow us and create in us a reliance on Him above all, I also believe that He demonstrates His goodness to us in all seasons through the relationships that He ordains for us.

We see from the very beginning that God recognizes the danger in isolation. You’re made for human connection.

Genesis 2:18 (English Standard Version)

18 Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

Being a Good Friend

The friendships that God has divinely designed for your life serve several purposes. In order to properly appreciate those purposes, we have to recognize them first as a gift from God to us and recognize ourselves as a gift for others.

James 1:17 (English Standard Version)

17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

People are a gift. You are a gift. A gift from a God who doesn’t give bad gifts.

1 Peter 4:9-10 (English Standard Version)

9 Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace:

God has given us gifts and made us as gifts to serve one another. The words “grace” and “gift” are interchangeable in the New Testament. The same Greek word is used for both of them. We are to steward the gifts of God, which means that we are to steward the relationships with one another that He has given us. He has given us gifts with which we are to serve one another well.

Ephesians 4:7-8 (English Standard Version)

7 But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ’s gift. 8 Therefore it says,“When he ascended on high he led a host of captives, and he gave gifts to men.”

When we talked about red flags last week, we talked about the importance of being a part of a community. It’s very interesting to me to hear people talk about how badly they want to be dating or married, but they’ve not been good stewards of their friendships.

If you want God to trust you with a marriage, you have to demonstrate your faithfulness to steward the gift of friendship well.

Luke 16:10-12 (English Standard Version)

10 “One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much. 11 If then you have not been faithful in the unrighteous wealth, who will entrust to you the true riches? 12 And if you have not been faithful in that which is another’s, who will give you that which is your own?

Godly relationships and community are a guaranteed way to bring the presence of God.

Matthew 18:19-20 (English Standard Version)

19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

Are you praying effective prayers? How often are you gathering in His name? The devil wants to keep you out of a place of agreement in the body in order to keep the presence and power of Jesus out of your life. Godly friendships will result in biblical agreement for the things you’re asking God to do, and that terrifies the devil.

Unity in the body of Christ is the devil’s greatest fear. He knows what happens when we come together in the name of Jesus. He knows what he can’t do when we’re connected to one another the way that God has ordained.

The church is stronger when we are in the body where He places us.

Let’s talk about the importance of being in church. I’m not saying that you can’t have friends from other churches. I’m not saying all your friends have to go to church. I am saying that the people who influence you the most and the people who get the majority of your time should be people who are of the same mind and same heart and same Spirit that God has called you to receive.

1 Corinthians 12:18 (English Standard Version)

18 But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose.

He put you in a place to be who He’s called you to be by being connected in the body where He has designed you to fit.

If God has called you to a place, He’s called your gift to be used there. Maybe you don’t understand why God has called you to a church that doesn’t have the program that you believe is needed for your passions. Maybe you want to do something for the Kingdom and the church where He’s called you and given you grace to receive doesn’t have an opportunity for you to do it. Have you ever considered that maybe God has called you here to bring your gift to a place that needs it?

Hebrews 10:23-25 (English Standard Version)

23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

As we get closer and closer to the return of Jesus, it’s even more important that we are in the body where we’re supposed to be. It’s important that we’re connected where He’s called us.

God has made you a gift to contribute to the Church and to the people He’s called you to befriend. You have grace to be a friend. You have an anointing to be a friend. That grace only exists in the right place, though.

Friendships are mutually beneficial. If you are only taking from a relationship and not giving, you aren’t a friend; you’re a consumer.

Ask not what your friends can do for you; ask what you can do for your friends.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (English Standard Version)

9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!

There may be seasons in which you’re giving a lot and there may be seasons in which you’re taking a lot. We all need people to carry us in seasons. We need people who have grace to carry us and we need to be around people that we have grace to carry.

Finding Good Friends

What makes a good friend?

Proverbs 17:17 (English Standard Version)

17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 27:17 (English Standard Version)

17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

Here are some qualities you need to be looking for in friendships and some qualities you need to be looking to personify in friendships.

1.) There’s power in persistence. Is this a friendship of convenience or covenant? The real ones stick with you through the hard stuff. When you’re not your best, who’s still there?

Philippians 2:4 (English Standard Version)

4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

2.) Are you better because of this friendship? If I want to know who you’re becoming, all I need to do is look at your friends. Dough doesn’t sharpen iron. Find friends that challenge you. Applause is great from fans. Find friends who will push you to be the very best version of yourself.

1 Corinthians 15:33 (English Standard Version)

33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

3.) Loose lips sink ships. Friendships. Is gossip a central theme of your friendship? Is it your habit to talk about other people when you’re together? Does your friendship with this person reveal more about the character of Christ or the sins of others?

Proverbs 11:13 (English Standard Version)

13  Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.

4.) Are you encouraged by your friendships? Do your friends make you feel better about yourself? Not in a way that excuses sin or discourages growth, but do you feel like you can do what God has called you to do around the friends in your life?

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (English Standard Version)

11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

5.) Do they bring you to Jesus? When you’re at the lowest possible place and need a miracle, how do they respond?

Mark 2:1-12 (English Standard Version)

1 And when he returned to Capernaum after some days, it was reported that he was at home. 2 And many were gathered together, so that there was no more room, not even at the door. And he was preaching the word to them. 3 And they came, bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men. 4 And when they could not get near him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him, and when they had made an opening, they let down the bed on which the paralytic lay. 5 And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.” 6 Now some of the scribes were sitting there, questioning in their hearts, 7 “Why does this man speak like that? He is blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?” 8 And immediately Jesus, perceiving in his spirit that they thus questioned within themselves, said to them, “Why do you question these things in your hearts? 9 Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Rise, take up your bed and walk’? 10 But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he said to the paralytic— 11 “I say to you, rise, pick up your bed, and go home.” 12 And he rose and immediately picked up his bed and went out before them all, so that they were all amazed and glorified God, saying, “We never saw anything like this!”

Whether it’s a physical need or a spiritual need, having someone who recognizes that the place where it can be met is in the presence of Jesus is absolutely priceless. We need to be friends and find friends whose first reaction to bad news is to go to the Word and to pray. If your friends are taking you away from the place where God’s called you, they’re not the right friends for you.

Jesus is the Healer. Jesus is the Deliverer. We need friends who recognize that and are adamant about making sure that we get in front of Him at all costs. The right friends won’t let you skip church. The right friends won’t let you sit at home and sulk about losing your job without kidnapping you on a Tuesday night and making sure you’re at this altar.

Maybe you’ve got friends in your life that need healing. Maybe they need deliverance in their souls. Maybe they need a broken heart mended. Be the friend who won’t be swayed by the condition of the masses. Be the friend who will get uncomfortable and do something outlandish to get your friends in the presence of God.

Mark 2:5 tells us that Jesus saw their faith. It wasn’t the faith of the paralytic man’s faith that Jesus saw. It was the faith of his friends. I want the kind of friends who are going to have faith that makes Jesus take notice. They knew the condition of this man’s body and his soul and knew that they had to do whatever was necessary to make sure their friend got in the presence of the only One who could handle both.

Mark 2:12 ends the story with a phrase that I pray becomes something that’s said about us. The crowd that was gathered there had never seen anything like what they’d just witnessed. What was it that was so astonishing to them? Was it the miracle? Jesus had already performed miracles. At this point, He’d already cast out demons and healed many in Capernaum, the city where He lived.

Maybe it wasn’t the miracle that they’d never seen before. Maybe it was the force of faith at work in those four friends who decided that there was nothing they wouldn’t do to ensure that their friend met Jesus that day. There are people in our lives that need to meet Jesus and we won’t even invite them to church.

71% of the unchurched say they are likely to accept a personal invitation from a family member, friend or neighbor to attend church.

This is not an advertisement for The Bridge, although I believe strongly in what God is doing here. I believe that He’s called us to be a place for hurting people to meet their Healer. A place for broken people to meet their Savior.

What does it look like for an entire church or an entire city or an entire region to look at what God is doing here and be astounded by it? I believe we are entering a season of momentum in which our whole church, this whole city, and an entire generation will look at this group of young adults and say, “We’ve never seen anything like this!”