It's About Relationships

Matthew 5:21–32 NLT

21 “You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’ 22 But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell. 23 “So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, 24 leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God. 25 “When you are on the way to court with your adversary, settle your differences quickly. Otherwise, your accuser may hand you over to the judge, who will hand you over to an officer, and you will be thrown into prison. 26 And if that happens, you surely won’t be free again until you have paid the last penny. 27 “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 So if your eye—even your good eye—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your hand—even your stronger hand—causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 31 “You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’ 32 But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery.

Relationship Issues

Being Salt and Light and having Jesus work in us and through us affects our relationships with others

It’s not ONLY about how we interact with our world, it is how we interact and relate to those who are close to us

Brothers, sisters, spouses - but also those guys and gals we think about in our spare time...

In these passages, and some more we will look at next week, Jesus shows more about fulfilling the Law. He takes a common known Law and discusses the route cause of disobedience to that command. But, the route causes are whaat break down our relationships with others.

Anger

In the background of this disucssion is the story of Cain and Abel (Genesis 4)

Brother turns on brother. Anger festers and murder is the result.

Jesus deals with the route of murder - Anger that festers. This leads to the words we say, and even the emotions we have towards another.

Ephesians 4:26–27 NLT

26 And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

It should be noted that Jesus is not talking about momentary anger - and neither is Paul. The original text has the context of walking, or living in anger. This is not the momentary upsetness about something or someone who has wronged us. Jesus warns us of the continual festering of that upsetness. The festering that causes us to say negative words about the person. The festering that causes us condemn a person to hell. NO, we might not wish then death, but when they do die there’s a special spot in hell reserved for them. And, we don’t wish bad upon them, necessarily, just nothing good either!

Ultimately, it is the festering that causes us to look at the other no longer as a person - but as a problem! It’s the festering that causes us to belittle or think lower of our brother and fellow human being. We think of them as an animal, but if we take seriously what Jesus says in light of the story of Cain and Abel, we who are angry are the ones who have lost humanity and have become the animal.

The solution is to RESTORE our collective humanity

Jesus encourages quick resolution. This requires that we go to those we have angered, and those who have angered us. This causes us to discuss, together, NOT WITH OTHERS, the issue that has angered us.

Often, those we are angry with have no clue we are angry. So, this allows for clearer understanding, and clearer thinking.

Imagine how different the story of Cain and Abel would be if Cain was willing to talk with his brother and God abotu what had upset him. Imagine the difference in our world if we looked at those who anger us as people and we took effort, quickly, to restore the broken relationship.

Judge Judy and the likes would be out of a job!

The lady at McDonald's who politely asked the man who paked too close to her to move his car so she could get in her car… AND HIS POLITE RESPONSE

Lust

Again, Jesus is addressing our relationships and how we view the other.

Lusting in our hearts, like anger, is not a quick, momentary thought. It is the ongoing playing out of scenarios and fantasies.

Like anger, the person we are lusting after usually has no clue…

In our mind we have made the other a tool of our pleasure. No longer is the person a person - there just a thing that exists, at least in our mind, for our pleasure.

The solution? If you have made someone a beast, make yourself a beast

If someone cut off their hands or gouged out their eyes we would say they are acting irrationally and less than humanely. We might even say they are acting like a beast. Jesus seems to be saying that you are acting beastly when you lust - so you might as well look like a beast. But, there’s also that realization that lust causes us to dehumanize the other. And, if we are dehumanizing others, we might as well dehumanize ourselves.

But, this isn’t to be taken literally...

Jesus calls again for quick changes in our patterns and behaviors. Yes, this is hyperbole and exaggeration. Jesus doesn’t literally want us to cut out our eyes or cut off our hands.

But, he does call for drastic changes if necessary. If the meeting with that person causes you to have lingering thoughts or ideas . STOP MEETING WITH HIM/HER

If the computer and websites causes a great temptation… Get rid of the computer, or put blocks on websites, etc...

There is a reminder that YOU are responsible for what YOU think - not the other. It is not his fault, or her fault, that your thinking causes you to play out fantasies about that person. It’s YOUR fault - so do something, something DRASTIC to make the change.

Divorce

This is not the only time Jesus and the New Testament address divorce. When divorce is addressed it is doen so in the midst of a broken world and broken relationships - and grace for mistakes and grace for brokenness is ALWAYS extended .

But, again, here Jesus is dealing with the breakdown of relationships.

Divorce caused women to be POWERLESS. In reality, in Jesus day, more often than not, women were powerless. ONE aspect of that was divorce. The law and custom was that a HUSBAND could divorce his wife for just about any reason. The wife had no recourse against divorce. If the husband wanted to dissolve the relationships HE alone had the authority to do so. Notice, a wife could NOT innitiate divorce - only the husband.

This was clearly a 1 sided system whereby the man had all authority. HE could choose to cast aside his wife for trivial reasons. He could choose to look at his wife, no longer as a person, but as a beast or a burden that could be cast aside and forgotten.

Jesus clearly thinks differently

Jesus, obviously, has a different view and perspective.

Yes, there is the understanding of Genesis 1 and marriage being the union of two who become one.

But, there are other issues at play.

Jesus does recognize that there are some situations where the relationship has been so broken that divorce could be acceptable.

BUT, he helps the world to see that this is not over trivial things. This dissolving of marriage vows, in this context, has to do with sexual misconduct.

But, I wonder, if Jesus is brining his discussion on anger and lust into the discussion on divorce.

Is is possible that Jesus might be saying, “If you can resole your anger and deael with your lust, then you wont be in a situation where divorce is necessary.”

What are non trivial reasons for divorce. Like, big reasons someone would need to dissolve the marriage relationship.

A husband who is so angry that he beats his wife and kids...

A wife who is so angry at her husband for ignoring her and her needs that she lusts for greater affection and then acts upon it

Or, the husband who is upset that his wife doesn’t listen to his needs and who finds a comforting ear with the woman down the street and...

It seems to me that if we deal with our anger and lust in healthy humane ways we will be less likely to get ot the issue of divorce in our marriages!

It all comes down to how we view the other

Jesus working in us to be salt and light transforms our relationships.

It does this by transforming how we view the other. Are they human, or are they beast?

Are they to be cherised, thought well of, spoken well of and not cast aside?

Or, are they to be discarded as a problem, something detestable, something beastly?

As you are salt and light, which relationships does Jesus need to work in your to restore?