Loving like God's Children

1 John 3:11–24 ESV

11 For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. 12 We should not be like Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous. 13 Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you. 14 We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death. 15 Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. 16 By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. 17 But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? 18 Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. 19 By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; 20 for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. 21 Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; 22 and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. 23 And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. 24 Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us.

Frank Sinatra recorded a song called “Love and Marriage”. The lyrics make the point that things multiple things must occur together.

“Love and marriage, love and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage. This I tell ya, brother, you can't have one without the other.”

In the same way, John told the believers of his day that certain things must go together, such as loving God and obedience. In this section, he continues his thought about being children of God by reminding us that God saves us and places us in a family. You can’t have Christ without the family of God.

Hate is a serious problem

We use the term “hate” to describe a general dislike of things. Some hate broccoli, and some hate high taxes. But John has another type of hate in mind. His focus is on believers who hate other believers in the Christian community. John reminds the believers that in the past, they heard the true teaching of the gospel. They listened to numerous sermons about who Jesus is and what it means to follow Him. 1 John 2:7 But this time, he mentions it in the context of our new identity. Since you are a child of God through Jesus, there are also other children in the family. And siblings ought to love and not hate each other.

John gives the ancient example of the first siblings in scripture, Cain and Abel. Each brought an offering before God, but God did not regard the offering of Cain. What was the difference? It was the heart. God knew the heart of those brothers.

• More acceptable

• given in faith

• Not the firstfruits

Cain clearly hated Abel, nor did he honor God. He was obsessed on comparing his life to his brother's. When he saw his brother be blessed, it built up more of the hate present in his heart. His problem was in his heart, not with God.

The world (system and way of life without God), generally lives in hate or opposition, especially toward the children of God. As believers, do we want to be like the world living in hate, or should we do the opposite? Of course, we are to love our brothers and sisters in Christ. We do so because we have passed out of death into life. If we live with hate for other Christians in our hearts, have we truly come out of the darkness?

How should we love?

We know we ought to love one another, but your idea of love may be different from mine. John clarifies this by using the term “love” (agape), the kind of love God shows to us. Jesus demonstrated this same love when he laid down his life for sinners on the cross. The term “lay” means to give up a right or possession. Christ gave up his right as the Creator to humble himself in the incarnation when he came to the earth. And Christ gave up his physical body to be nailed to the cross for our sin. This is our example to follow. We ought to walk in his footsteps by laying down our lives for our fellow believers. But how do we do this? We do so by having a generous and caring attitude in meeting the basic living needs of other believers.

Living in this world requires food, shelter, clothing, and money. If you see a fellow believer in need, you ought to seek to help them with these things. If we choose to ignore it, we are closing our hearts and moving toward the direction that eventually leads to hatred. Having a compassionate and generous attitude toward other believers is evidence of our abiding in Christ. How can we keep this command in our modern-day world? First, this command is given to Christians to be practiced within the local fellowship and beyond. Because we regularly gather with each other, we get to know each other and grow together in spiritual maturity. You may wish to participate in giving to our benevolence fund if you do not know others that well. But this giving and laying our lives down comes naturally when we take time to know each other. And as community, we may also gather resources to send to other churches, 1 Corinthians 16:1-4.

Secondly, we may be familiar with those who act in deceptive ways to play with the compassionate emotions of Christians to get things from them. Are we obligated to give to strangers who claim to be followers of Christ? Unless you feel direct leading from the Holy Spirit, you may wish to take time to get to know the person before immediately choosing to give resources, such as money or costly items. Giving immediate help in the form of food, clothing, and essential living items is always appropriate.

Thirdly, we ought to remember the beauty and blessing God has provided by gathering us into a family, the church. Sometimes we may wish to live life on our own without much connection or interaction with other believers. Build your relationships with those here because they will be the ones that you may help in the future or they may help you.

John reminds us that love is never theoretical but practical and visible. Our love for those within the Body of Christ confirms that we abide in the truth of Jesus Christ.

Condemnation or Confidence?

Have you ever doubted that you were a Christian because you know you have not been very “Christian” lately? In the previous verses, John discussed having a “closed heart” toward believers, but he discusses a “condemning heart” in this section. This is a situation that many believers will experience. It is not a situation between two believers but within the heart and mind of an individual.

In the earlier verses, John has encouraged the believers to be careful to measure the teaching of those “who left” against the gospel and Word of God. Those who left ignored sin, denied that Jesus was the Christ, and lived in love for the world and hate for those in the church. While they examine others, they may examine themselves and discover that they have fallen short of the goal of obedience to God. This can often cause us to doubt our ability to be a Christian. But this is where our hearts and minds need to be corrected. We are children of God, not because we are so “good”, but because God is “so good”. We are saved by grace through faith. God does the saving, and we do the trusting and following. And when we fail at the following, we confess our sins and get right on track again and follow again.

Illustration of the man who leaks

At this point, we need to go back to the first verse of the chapter and read about the love that God has given to us that we should be called the children of God.

At other times, we will have moments of great victory and confidence that we are spiritually growing. But even in those moments of confidence, we dare not trust in our own actions but only in the grace of God toward us. But no matter what, if we feel moments of condemnation or confidence, we are to move our lives toward obedience to God. Let us seek to know what pleases him. Can you honestly say you know what pleases God? If not, then that is a call to open your Bible to seek to know God. Just as love is to be done in deeds, not theory, so should our obedience be.

Many times, people may miss the foundation of obedience. We may think that if I do good deeds and love others, then I have met the minimum requirement for being in Christ. Obedience begins with believing in Jesus Christ. If we fail to believe in Him, we have not truly obeyed the commands of God. We ought to get the picture that faith in Christ is foundational to obedience. You can never be truly “good” without faith in Jesus Christ.

In John’s gospel, the term “believe” is used over 80 times, compared to the book of Romans that uses it only 18 times.

Can’t Have One without the Other

Sinatra’s famous song reminds us that love and marriage need to go together. But history reminds us that many people, especially political leaders and rulers, used marriage not for love but for alliances. Their marriages may have lacked love, but they served a purpose, but not the purposes that God intended in marriage. In the same way, we may think we can live the Christian life separated from other believers, hating other believers, and ignoring God’s commands. John reminds us that these things are deeply connected so that if one item is present, we expect to see the other things.

As we see things changing economically, socially, and emotionally, may we never forget that God has placed us together in this fellowship for the purpose of faith, growth, worship, mission, and fellowship. The future may bring more challenges. May we meet those challenges with grace and love toward those in this fellowship. If you have a negative attitude toward Christian fellowship, ask God to make you more of a grape than a marble. Marbles are hard and collide with each other with harsh force. Grapes are soft, and when they collide, they may be a little bruised, but when they are pressed together, they create the most wonderful drink and flavor. Marbles are tasteless, but grapes reflect the taste of God’s grace.

If faith in Jesus Christ is present in our hearts, then we ought to expect to see a love for God instead of the world. We ought to then see a desire to abide in the truth. We then ought to see a love for those in the family of God, which would lead us to expect us to see an increasing desire to obey God in all things. If you were to evaluate your life at this moment, are there areas that you need to confess you have failed? Confess it, and do not be overwhelmed by guilt. Let your guilt remind you that God’s grace is greater.