Surrendering it all

No matter who you are, everyone at some point in their life, has a coming-to-God experience. For some this coming-to-God experience may be a dramatic and harrowing experience like being crushed almost to death, or facing down guns. Others coming-to-God experience may not be as dramatic, it happens in the downstairs room at a church kind of hidden off to the side of the hallway, or it happens on your bed with your older sibling guiding you through what to say as your parents listen through a cracked door carefully as not to disturb what is taking place. No matter your coming-to-God experience, there is something special about that moment. There is a sense of expectation, excitement… freedom.

Before our coming-to-God experience, most of us felt something. It may have been loss, confusion, dirty, bewilderment, confinement, or even imprisonment among other things. We were all tied to or bound to some law, whether it be the law of man, the 10 commandments, the church, or our parents. The law is what guided us.

Then after our coming-to-God experience things tend to calm down, and we kind of get into a rut and we get complacent and we begin to just go through the motions. We pray when we get up, “thank you God for this morning”, we pray when we eat “thank you God for this meal”, we pray when we go to bed “thank you God for this day.” We read our Bibles, and sometimes we read it from front to back in a year: January “I completed the required books for this month. Check”, February “I completed the books for this month. Check!”. Then we do that for 10 more months. We go to church every Sunday “CHECK!” Or we don't succeed in living up to the standard and we feel guilty. The gospel that once set us free shrinks to "God is good. You're not. Try harder.".

We rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. Why? Because that's what a good Christian does right?

Well, maybe that's what we like to think a good Christians does. But then a wrench gets thrown into the fold. It is almost catastrophic to us, even if it seems insignificant to others. It shakes up our whole world and we don’t know how to handle it. This can cause one of two reactions: one you realize how far you were from God and submit it all to God; or two you rely heavily on a part of you that used to handle this problem just fine before you found Christ, since you have fallen back into the rhythm of things you simply fall deeper still.

We see this same story play out over and over throughout the Bible. People are living life without God, they find God and then over time they get used to the liturgies of life and begin to live without God again, almost unconsciously. We look at the Israelites and it's so easy to see them walk with God, and then foolishly (pathetically) fall away from God. Then they get pulled right back to God again. We can see this same pattern take place throughout the book of Judges which is more or less structured as a downward spiral: the Israelites do what is evil in the sight of the Lord, God delivers them into the hands of their enemies, the Israelites cry out to God, God raises up a judge, the land has rest. Rinse. Repeat. Rinse. Repeat. Until the cycle breaks down. The opening chapters of Genesis likewise have a cycle of grace, rebellion, judgment, new grace. Maybe the Bible is trying to get us to see how often we respond to God's good gifts in rebellion.

Maybe God’s creation is likewise trying to get us to see how often we respond to God’s good gifts in rebellion. We treat our lives much like we do the ground, we realize that when we put seeds in the ground, crops will grow. Then we start to wonder, “How can I get a larger yield from that crop”, and we start adding all sorts of man-made chemicals to that crop. We see the benefits but we don’t realize we are poisoning the very soil we are relying on and removing the nutrients from it. Rinse. Repeat. Rinse. Repeat. Then when we are faced with the problem of things not growing, we do everything we can to that soil to force a yield, sometimes forgetting that we can’t do it by our own strength. What we really need to do is follow God, throw a little grass seed on it and patiently wait.

The Bible is riddled with such stories about this tug of war that is happening between us following the world and what we want, and following God. The Bible is full of stories about men and women who commit themselves to God, but for some reason, they pull back again. Committing just enough to God that they can taste a walk with Christ but they keep control of just enough that they can steer their lives as they see fit.

Paul particularly is alarmed by this pattern that we see happen throughout the Bible. He is so alarmed that he addresses the Galatians on this particular shortcoming. Paul has caught wind of something concerning happening within the Galatian church, it has alarmed him because the Galatians were so on fire for Christ but something had happened. They began to revert back to who they were, following a law, a way that was more recognizable by them. They began to dot their i’s and cross their t’s and check off the checkboxes to satisfy their daily responsibilities. Paul outlines what was happening in Galatians 3:23–4:11.

Let’s read this: Galatians 3:23-4:11

Galatians 3:23–4:11 NASB95

But before faith came, we were kept in custody under the law, being shut up to the faith which was later to be revealed. Therefore the Law has become our tutor to lead us to Christ, so that we may be justified by faith. But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a tutor. For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s descendants, heirs according to promise. Now I say, as long as the heir is a child, he does not differ at all from a slave although he is owner of everything, but he is under guardians and managers until the date set by the father. So also we, while we were children, were held in bondage under the elemental things of the world. But when the fullness of the time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the Law, so that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons. Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a son; and if a son, then an heir through God. However at that time, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those which by nature are no gods. But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how is it that you turn back again to the weak and worthless elemental things, to which you desire to be enslaved all over again? You observe days and months and seasons and years. I fear for you, that perhaps I have labored over you in vain.

Did you catch that? Did you see what was happening? Paul is standing there hands on his head in disbelief, the Galatians were once bound by the law, but then they found the freedom you and I like to confess we have today. You hear the angst in Paul's voice as he says in verse 11 “I fear for you. Perhaps all my hard work with you was for nothing. Imagine you pour your heart and soul into this sports team that you lead to the championship, you practice every drill, and you study exact moves the opposing team makes. You tell your team that they shouldn’t follow the same simple drills they have been using all season because they are no longer effective. At first, your team finds that using different plays is kind of fun, kind of freeing, but then they run into trouble, in front of your eyes the team begins to collapse back into the team they were before you had poured your heart and soul into them. Your hands are on your head in disbelief, you are wondering to yourself “was it all for not?” Paul is standing there on the sidelines watching and somehow even though the Galatians knew the freedom they had in God they seemed to want to turn back to those same feeble ways they came from. I can hear the frustration in Paul’s voice as he pokes the bear by saying in verse 9 “well maybe you don’t know God but God certainly knows you.” Paul is no stranger to calling out controversy, to the point goes toe to toe with Peter over this same issue in Galatians 2:11-16

Galatians 2:11–16 NASB95

But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned. For prior to the coming of certain men from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles; but when they came, he began to withdraw and hold himself aloof, fearing the party of the circumcision. The rest of the Jews joined him in hypocrisy, with the result that even Barnabas was carried away by their hypocrisy. But when I saw that they were not straightforward about the truth of the gospel, I said to Cephas in the presence of all, “If you, being a Jew, live like the Gentiles and not like the Jews, how is it that you compel the Gentiles to live like Jews? “We are Jews by nature and not sinners from among the Gentiles; nevertheless knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the Law but through faith in Christ Jesus, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the Law; since by the works of the Law no flesh will be justified.

Peter is a man that we all have come to know as someone who surrendered everything to God! It often surprises us when we see Peter starting to pull back into the law because of his own personal insecurities. The fear of being judged by his fellow Jews drove him. Because of this fear he wouldn’t allow himself to be seen with the Gentiles, who God had made clear were clean in Acts 10:15. We see throughout time that when faced with controversies it is easier to fall back into our self-defined law, the very ruts Jesus found us in. Paul had no problem stirring the pot, but a pretty consistent theme between Paul and the churches he led was Paul keeping Jesus as the center focus of his life. Every time Paul called someone out, submitting to the gospel's truth was the solution to the problem. Everyone else tended to look to their own self-perceived common sense. “Well this makes sense in my head, so it must make sense elsewhere, right?” They would read their own insecurities into the Gospel’s truth, rendering it no longer the gospel truth but just another law. We have seen this play out throughout time. Someone doesn’t like drums, well drums are a thing of the devil. Someone can’t stand dancing, well you can’t be a Christian if you dance. We have seen this argument play out in the Bible: “You aren’t saved if you don’t follow Apollos.” “Well, you aren’t saved if you don’t follow Paul.” We’ve seen Jews and Gentiles try to redefine the Gospel’s truth. Even this pandemic has interfered with how we view the gospel.

When something happens to upset our lives we slide back into the ruts rather than following the way that Jesus calls us to. It is easy for us to look at the individuals in the Bible and think, “I would never be caught with my pants down like that!” But the truth is we are all human. We have all been caught in this cycle at one point in our lives or another. We have made it through the point of living according to the law, whatever that law may be. We have found Jesus and have been redeemed, but then over time we have become complacent and we fall back into a law again (whatever that law may be), then something happens to upset our lives and we are at a loss. Do we stick to our law, or do we let Jesus take over where we should have never taken control ourselves?

When we are fully committed to surrendering all to Jesus, Paul says in Chapter 3:28 “There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female, For you are all one in Christ.” But when we commit it all to Jesus and pull back again, we find we fall into the same rut Peter did where whether or not he meant it he began to judge his brother and sisters for being unclean. When I stop and think about it, I like to think I did a great job at allowing Jesus to be the center of my life. But truthfully, I have allowed him to be the center of some things. But certainly not all. I have struggled with the temptation of following my law, my common sense. I have struggled with the temptation of looking at everyone who doesn’t agree with me as unclean. The reality is when I stand before Jesus with the person, or different opinion or thing thrown down before Him demanding vengeance, am I ready for Jesus to stoop down, am I ready for Jesus to plunge His finger into the sand and am I ready for Him to begin writing about me.

That's the truth of it. When we stand and point out at the world and our brothers and sisters with one single finger, we tend to forget those three fingers point back at ourselves. With those three fingers pointing back at ourselves we tend to forget, the problem twelve times out of ten starts with me. We are so quick to try to find someone to blame for our own difficulties, our own struggles and our own pain. That we forget we don’t have to look far. We begin to unconsciously pull more and more control back from God. I can’t help but think of Moses when the Israelites were blaming him for all their issues they had pulled back control from God, Moses could have joined in with the crowd. But instead, he got onto his knees and directed his eyes to God and gave God control. When David was rebuked by Samuel instead of blaming anyone else for his sin he got down onto his knees and cried out to God, and gave God control. When Jesus was in the garden of Gethsemane and was facing his final hours, instead of looking to place blame He cried out to God and gave God control. Instead of falling into this cycle of Rinse. Repeat. Rinse. Repeat. We see that to find freedom we need to give absolute control to God.

This last year I was doing a survey of my life and looking to see if I had given absolute control to God. I did this by examining whether or not the fruit of the spirit in my life was healthy. This is often how I look to see if I have given full control to God. Because if you are missing Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness or Self Control you can guarantee it is not God’s fault, and generally you need to look at submitting that area to God. Another way to weigh if you have given God full control of your life is if you pray for something that irks you, do you find peace when you give it to God fully? Through self-examination and prayer God directed my attention to one area in my life where I had not been giving Him full control, and ever since I have been praying for God to enter into that situation, and day by day it has been getting better. You see I was missing almost all of the fruits of the Spirit in one area of my life, particularly when I thought about the name PD. When I thought about this name it would make my face flush and I would get angry. But I have done a good job at not slandering this man or berating him, or seeking him out to cause him problems. I have tried to forget him, I have tried to erase his existence from my life. I was following the laws… I was following my laws. Jesus says “But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.”

When I have stood before Jesus Christ with these things in my hand that I didn’t agree with, and I threw them down before him saying I want justice! He stooped down and wrote PD in the sand. I am no better than the Israelites, no better than the Galatians. I may have not said Raca or you fool, or I hate you, but I followed the law. I didn’t allow Jesus to enter into the places where I have hurt most. For 24 years to the day on April 27th this year, I have tried to forget PD, a man who murdered my favourite uncle in cold blood. This uncle who pulled me out of the Otter Lake in BC when I couldn’t get my head above water and embraced me in the tightest warmest hug and said “don’t worry buddy, I got you” as he cradled me to shore while I was still choking on the water in my lungs. An uncle who would laugh at our childish arguments and would egg us on. An uncle who would protect us from his demons no matter what. This past year Jesus Christ has challenged me to allow Him to be the center of ALL of my life and to start praying for PD.

So my question to you is when you honestly bring your life before the altar, have you been following the law? When you bring things to Jesus for penance in your own self-righteousness, what would Jesus write in the sand about you?

We are all hurting people. We are all people of different walks, different talks, different political ideologies, and different demographics. Ultimately no matter the path you are walking, you are called to surrender it all to Jesus. You are called to be a child of God and His heir. Don’t throw that away because you simply can’t let Jesus have complete control of your life.