Living The Dream 3-15-09
Living The Dream
Mt 5:31-32 (NIV)- 31 - “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 - But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.
Little girls sit around the house and have tea parties. They pretend to get married and have children. We all like a movie where the husband and wife ride off into the sunset and live Happy thereafter.
In the television world if a couple gets too happy watch out. Unfortunately it is not just in the television world anymore.
If you have any reason to wonder why this message is important, William J. Bennett, former Secretary of Education, said in his book entitled, The Broken Hearth, "Nothing has done more to undermine family life today than the divorce revolution,' which began roughly 35 to 45 years ago, and is now a prominent, and, in the opinion of some, a permanent feature of the American landscape.
* The divorce rate rose 700% in the 20th Century and continues to rise.
· There is now one divorce for every 1.8 marriages.
· Over a million children a year are involved in divorce cases and
· 13 million children under 18 have one or both parents missing.
· The United States has about 5% of the world's population, and yet has more divorces than in the entire world.
· The average period of first marriages is approximately eight years; of re-marriages between five and six years; and of third marriages about three years.
· More than 2/5ths (43%) of first marriages end in either divorce or separation within fifteen years.
What once was extremely rare in early America, has now become the national norm. The traditional view of marriage is shattering before our very eyes.
· Nearly half of all Americans say there's no reason to ever get married.
According to a recent survey by George Barna, born-again Christians are as likely as non-believers to get divorced. About 33% of born-again Christians have ended their marriages compared to 34% of those who have not embraced Jesus Christ. 87% of the born-again adults divorced after they accepted Christ.
Two-thirds of Christians surveyed by Barna saw divorce as "A reasonable solution to a problem marriage."
There are only two things that cause unhappy marriages according to the latest scientific research: men and women.
Two Trains of thought
1) In this passage before us Jesus simply, but straightforwardly, helps us deal with the issue of divorce.
I) Confront the Problem of Divorce With Marriage
Mt 5:31 (ESV)- 31 - “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’
Dt 24:1-4 (ESV)- 1 - “When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, 2 - and if she goes and becomes another man’s wife, 3 - and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, 4 - then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance.
2) School of Shammai – Strict interpreters
3) School of Hillel – More Liberal- anything that caused disunity
The Pharisees had interpreted this to mean that God not only condoned divorce, but in effect commanded divorce, and that the only thing that was important was that a bill of divorcement be given. In other words, if a man decided he wanted to divorce his wife, the only thing he had to make sure of was that he did the necessary paper work.
There was no argument as to whether or not divorce should take place. There was no discussion of what God Himself thought about divorce. There was just the assumption that divorce was a reality and this is how it was done. It was all neat, tidy, and wrapped up in a legal package called a "bill of divorcement." Their mentality was the same as our mentality: If it's legal then it must be right. The easy way out of any marriage was simply a bill of divorcement.
Mt 19:3 (ESV)-3 - And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?”
The reason why they asked that is because there was a school of thought in that day that a man could divorce his wife for any cause whatsoever. For example, a man could divorce his wife -
* If she spoiled his dinner by adding too much salt.
· If she were seen in public with her head uncovered.
· If she talked with other men on the street.
· If she spoke disrespectfully to her husband's parents.
· If she became plain-looking compared with another woman who her husband deemed to be more beautiful.
Sounds much like today.
I heard about a woman who went to a lawyer and said she wanted a divorce. The lawyer got out his notepad and said, "Do you have any grounds?" She said, "Yes, we have about ? of an acre." He paused for a moment and said, "Well, do you have a grudge?" She said, "No, but we do have a lovely carport." He thought a moment and said, "Well, does he beat you up?" She said, "No, I get up before he does every morning." Finally, the lawyer said, "Lady, why do you want to divorce your husband?" She said, "Because the man can't carry on an intelligent conversation."
People do not see marriage as a sacred covenant, it's just another contract. There is a company that has created a unique wedding gift called "Divorce Insurance?" It's like life insurance. A Divorce Insurance Policy is given to the newlyweds so that if their marriage doesn't work out, the insurance will pay the legal expenses of the divorce.
Somebody has said that today marriage starts out as an "ideal," then it becomes an "ordeal," and then you start looking around for a "new deal." But what you're not told is, that oftentimes the "new deal" is really no deal. People don't have a whole lot of success running from unhappy marriages. While 40% of first marriages end in divorce, 60% of second marriages and 75% of third marriages end in divorce.
Mal 2:16 (The Living Bible)-16 - For the Lord, the God of Israel, says he hates divorce and cruel men. Therefore, control your passions—let there be no divorcing of your wives.
Do you ever wonder why God made that statement; that He absolutely hates divorce?
1) Maybe it's because of what divorce does, first of all, to the children. You know there used to be a time when parents would at least stay together for the sake of the children. Yet, 45% of Christians today say that children produced by unhappy marriage partners should not serve to keep the family intact.
I heard about a judge who was trying to change the mind of a woman filing for divorce. He said, "Ma'am, you're 92 years old. Your husband is 94. You've been married for 73 years. Why are you giving up now?" She said, "Well, our marriage has been on the rocks for quite a while, but we decided to wait until the children died."
If you're out there thinking about getting a divorce and you do have children, particularly if you have children at home, you better think about this:
* 90% of the children from divorced homes suffer from an acute sense of shock when the separation occurs, including profound grieving and fears.
· 50% report feeling rejected and abandoned. Half the fathers never come to see their children three years after the divorce, and one-third of divorced fathers have lost all contact with one or more of their adult children.
· 37% of the children were even more unhappy and dissatisfied five years after the divorce than they had been at 18 months. In other words, time did not heal their wounds.
· Adult children from divorced homes divorce at a rate four times greater than kids from homes where there is no divorce. In other words, divorce is not just a social event, it's a disease that gets into the bloodstream of a family.
2) Maybe God hates divorce because of what it does to the adults.
· Divorced men are twice as likely as married men to die from heart disease, stroke, hypertension, and cancer.
· They are four times more likely to die in automobile accidents, and their odds are seven times higher for pneumonia and cirrhosis of the liver.
· Divorced women lose 50% more time to illness and injury each year than do married women, and they are two to three times as likely to die of all forms of cancer.
· Both divorced men and women almost five times more likely to succumb to substance abuse.
· Divorced people are three times more likely to commit suicide than married people, and have a 40% greater risk of premature death.
Jesus had the courage to confront the problem of divorce, and so must we.
II) Confirm the Permanence of Marriage
Mt 5:32 (ESV)-32 - But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
The Lord Jesus gives His one exception to the rule of no divorce, and that was sexual immorality. It's the Greek word porneia, which gives us the word pornography, and it refers to any illicit sexual intercourse, whether it be adultery, homosexuality, or incest.
A) Jesus was against "no fault" divorce.
B) He said to divorce for just any run-of-the-mill reason, whether it be incompatibility, financial pressure, personality traits, or unpleasant habits, sets off a chain reaction of sin that spreads like wildfire.
Couples today look at a marriage license and say, "It's just a piece of paper!" In fact, that's how people today rationalize not getting married by saying, "We don't need a piece of paper to cement our relationship."
Let’s think about this:
· If you're pulled over by a police officer and he asks to see your driver's license, if I were you I wouldn't say, "Oh, I don't need one of those it's just a piece of paper."
· If a potential employer asks you for a resume. If I were you I wouldn't say, "Oh, I want need one of those it's just a piece of paper."
· If you're out deer hunting or fishing and a game warden asks you to present your hunting license, if I were you I wouldn't say, "Oh, I don't need one of those it's just a piece of paper." A marriage license is more than just a piece of paper. It is a sacred covenant between you and God that you will be married for life.
How do you do that?
1) Accept Jesus Christ and surrender your life to Him as the Lord of your life and be willing to do His will no matter what. When you stick with Jesus you can stick with each other.
III) Commit To God’s Plan For Marriage
Le 20:10 (ESV)- 10 - “If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.
A) Purity
B) Holiness
C) Mercy
D) Forgiveness
E) Love
F) Commitment
A. The demands of the Gospel run counter to our culture
B. We make no apology for that fact
Conclusion:
Christianity makes claims that run counter to modern culture. Are you living according to them? Christianity makes claims of another kind. Have you explored them?
C) Jesus Standards are Higher Than Our Standards
D) The Law Against Divorce was given for three reasons
1) Protect the family
2) Protect the nation
3) Protect the Individual
What Christ is trying to prevent is what history shows. Societies have tragically ignored the command of God.