Fences That Keep Prayers From Being Answered

James 4:2-3

What are fences? They are things that we build to keep something or someone in or out. Sometimes we build fences in our prayer lives that keep God from being all He should be in our lives or we put up barriers that keep the things of the world from being out of our lives. How do we build fences that keep our prayers from being answered? Today I will try to answer that question.

We love stories about answered prayer and God’s miraculous interventions in people’s lives. It motivates us pray. We’re to pray specifically, confidently and boldly. We’re to be absolutely convinced God will answer. We feel a level of faith and enthusiasm that we’ve never experienced before. We ask, seek and knock, but God is silent. The thing that we wanted does not materialize. Our zeal is crushed and we wonder what happened.

We ask ourselves and God: "Is it worth it?" "Did I do something wrong?" "Does God even hear me?" "Does he even care?" Cable television mogul Ted Turner criticized Christianity and said Jesus probably would "be sick at his stomach" over the way his ideas have been "twisted," the Atlanta Journal Constitution reported. Turner made his remarks Friday evening at a banquet in Orlando, Fla., where he was given an award by the American Humanist Association for his work on behalf of the environment and world peace. Turner said he had a strict Christian upbringing and at one time considered becoming a missionary. "I was saved seven or eight times," the newspaper quoted him as saying. But he said he became disenchanted with Christianity after his sister died, despite his prayers. Turner said the more he strayed from his faith, "the better I felt."

Maybe you’ve felt like that too. God didn’t answer you the way you wanted and you decided to back off of prayer and this whole faith thing. Today we’re going to tackle this issue. I hope, after we look at some possible reasons for prayer fences, that you’ll continue to move forward with trust and prayer even when you don’t receive what you’ve asked for.

First, you need to understand that God always answers prayer. He just doesn’t always answer the way we want him to. God always answers prayer in one of three ways: (Yes I told you last week Bill Hybels says, 4 ways, “no, slow, grow, and go.” But for the sake of time in this sermon I will only talk about 3.) When we pray to God …

1. He says, "Yes." 2. He says, "Wait." or 3. He says, "No."

I guess that instead of naming this sermon, Fences That Keep Prayers From Being Answered a better title for the message would be, "Why Does God Answer Our Prayers With ’Wait" or ’No.’ Let’s look at some possibilities.

When God says, "Wait," the reason might be that …

1. He wants us to focus on Him.

One of the things we must do is keep a proper perspective on prayer. What is it’s purpose? It’s not the bat phone that you reach for in times of trouble. Prayer is our means of communication with God. It is one of the means by which we get to know him. It develops our relationship with God. Needs are secondary at best.

Often times, however, we view prayer as our hotline to the Almighty, but the only things we bring to him are our grocery lists of needs. There’s nothing wrong with praying for your needs, but it’s not the primary purpose of prayer. Prayer is time to intentionally focus on God.

There’s temptation in prayer of replacing God with needs. When this happens things become our focus. In a real sense, needs and concerns become the object of our worship. This is called idolatry. The Bible warns against it. Exodus 20:3 "Do not worship any other gods besides me." (NLT)

A preacher named Peter Lord once said, "Seek God’s hand and not his face and you’ll get neither. Seek his face and not his hand and you’ll get both." Jesus said it this way: Matthew 6:33 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (NIV)

Make sure that God and his agenda is the focus of your prayers.

2. He wants us to trust in Him.

In the Fall of 1992, Donna and I needed a newer vehicle, because our family was growing in age and our kids couldn’t stand touching each other anymore. So, we looked into buying a Mini Van. But, when we prayed about it, we just couldn’t get a peace, so we didn’t buy one. By March of 2003 we knew why. Norma Gregory gave us a call one evening from California and started the process of my accepting a call to pastor in California. During that same time period, a man who I had been witnessing to, asked me if I needed a car? I said, “yes, why?” Well to make a long story short, he was in charge of a body shop at a large Ford dealership and had a Taurus station wagon that had cosmetic damage that the owner didn’t want after it was to be fixed. We could buy the car with the repairs for $1,200. It only had 40,000 miles on it and three seats, so the kids could sit without touching each other. Because we listened to the Lord, we were able to move to California without a car debt, which allowed us to be able to qualify for a home loan.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.” (NLT)

3. He wants to change our attitude.

If the number one purpose of prayer is relationship building between God and us, I’d have to conclude that the second is to shape our character. Have you ever noticed that the more you spend time with certain people, the more you act, speak and think like them? The old saying is true, "Birds of a feather flock together," not because they began completely alike, but they influenced one another. The more time we spend with God the more he influences who we are.

Sometimes we ask for things that God wants to give us … eventually. Often times we’re not at a place where we’re spiritually mature enough to handle it. I didn’t let my kids use the lawnmower when they were ten years old. They’d hurt themselves with that kind of equipment. When they were old enough I was glad to let them use it.

I experience God’s "wait" answer a lot with regard to this church. I have been praying that this church will get an answer as to whether we’re to look for property or not. I know that not having a place for week night activities is hurting our growth. I’m going to keep praying for growth, but I’m sure God won’t let us have it until we’re ready.

God is more after a Christ-like character in us. We won’t fully have what we ask for and what He wants to give until we gain a level of spiritual maturity. Here’s where he wants us to be … “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus” Philippians 2:5

I think that when we really do have the mind of Christ it will change the things we pray for anyway.

4. He has a greater gift in mind.

When you were in high school or maybe even junior high, did you ever ask God to help somebody to fall in love with you and spend the rest of their life with you. Was there a special guy or girl way back then who made your little heart go pitter-patter? You practically begged God to let them be with you. Looking back now, aren’t you glad you didn’t? He had someone more suitable in mind.

In the Gospel of John there’s a story about Lazarus who became critically ill. Lazarus and his two sisters, Martha and Mary, were tight friends with Jesus. They loved each other. During his illness Lazarus’ sisters sent for Jesus. They knew he had the power to heal their brother. Jesus received the word, but instead of going to meet their need, he waited 2 days. Lazarus died. So, Jesus showed up 4 days after the man had been placed in a tomb. The sisters came out to meet Jesus with the accusation, "Lord, if only you’d come sooner, Lazarus would still be alive." Not only were they grieving, they were disappointed in Jesus. As it turns out Jesus had a greater gift in mind. He went to the tomb, had the men roll the stone away and called a resurrected Lazarus to come forth from the grave.

Can you imagine the joy that replaced the sorrow on that day? Can you envision the faith it must have bolstered in the two sisters and everyone who saw what happened?

That’s the way God works. Often times we ask and don’t receive. It grieves us. We wonder what’s up with God. If we persist and keep seeking him many times we’ll find he has a greater gift than what we’ve been asking for.

When God says, "No," the reason might be that …

1. Our relationships with other people aren’t right.

Make no mistake about it. Our relationships with other people affect our connection with God. The horizontal and the vertical are inseparable. Look how seriously God takes our relationships. Matthew 6:15 "… if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." (NLT)

Guys, take special note of this one. 1 Peter 3:7 You husbands must honor your wives. Treat her with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. If you don’t treat her as you should, your prayers will not be heard. (NLT)

If the world is like a desert beneath your feet and the heavens like brass when you pray, check on your relationships. If they’re out of whack do everything in your power to make it right. If you’re not right with people, you’re not right with God.

2. Our prayers are selfish.

Our motives have to be right when we pray. There’s a reason why we won’t miraculously get that boat we’ve prayed for. There’s a reason why God doesn’t send us a luxury sports car with a ribbon tied around it. The selfish requests of self-absorbed people self-destruct in the presence of a selfless God. James 4:2, 3 the reason you don’t have what you want is that you don’t ask God for it. And even when you do ask, you don’t get it because your whole motive is wrong -- you want only what will give you pleasure. (NLT)

Here’s the thing, God expects that his generosity toward us will result in our generosity toward other people. If you’re all about getting and not giving don’t expect to get answers to prayer. In fact, you can expect your spiritual life to stagnate.

3. We’ve disregarded God’s commands or have unconfessed sin.

Proverbs 28:9 The prayers of a person who ignores the law are despised. (NLT)

The law signifies God’s commands. He has established certain principles that we are to follow. If we choose to deliberately go our own way God will let us, but don’t expect him to pay the tab. Also any sin that we’re aware of that we haven’t confessed to God and turned away from can put up a roadblock with our prayers.

In his book Why Prayers are Unanswered, John Lavender tells a story about Norman Vincent Peal. When Peale was a boy, he found a big, black cigar, slipped into an alley, and lit up. It didn’t taste good, but it made him feel very grown up…until he saw his father coming. Quickly he put the cigar behind his back and tried to be casual. Desperate to divert his father’s attention, Norman pointed to a billboard advertising the circus. "Can I go, Dad? Please, let’s go when it comes to town." His father’s reply taught Norman a lesson he never forgot. "Son, he answered quietly but firmly, "never make a petition while at the same time trying to hide a smoldering disobedience."

Psalm 66:18 If I had not confessed the sin in my heart, my Lord would not have listened. (NLT) Unanswered prayer is often a means to get us to seek God seriously and find out if we’ve gotten off track.

4. All of our hope is in this world.

Sometimes, our prayers go unanswered and we see no reason for it. None of the things mentioned above fit. Maybe you can take comfort in the fact that men and women of faith throughout history have experienced the same thing. Hebrews 11 is known as the faith hall of fame. The author lists the people God used in a mighty way to change this world. All of them were people of prayer. None of them gave up on God when they didn’t see an answer. Hebrews 11:13&16, says, These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them, embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth …But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them.

On September 27, 1991, Gerald Sittser, a professor at Whitworth College, prayed, asking God to protect and bless his family. Something went terribly wrong. Later that afternoon, returning from a family outing, a drunk driver lost control of his car and smashed into the Sittsers’ minivan. Sittser’s wife Lynda; his daughter Diana Jane; and his mother, who was visiting for the weekend, were all killed in the collision.

Sittser writes: "To this day I have been unable to understand what made that day different. What prevented my prayers from getting through to God? Did I commit some unpardonable sin? Did I fail to say the right words? Did God suddenly turn against me? Why, I have asked myself a thousand times, did my prayer go unanswered?"

He still cannot explain it, but concludes an article on unanswered prayer with these words: "… Jesus charges us to view life from a redemptive perspective. There is more to life than meets the eye when God gets involved. He works things out for good. … We view unanswered prayer from the perspective of our immediate experience and our limited vision. But God is doing something so great that only faith can grasp it, wait for it, and pray for it."