Loving Families

This morning I want to return to the series we have been on LOVE - we have talked about loving our spouses, loving friends, not loving money, and this morning I want us to look at LOVING FAMILIES.

God designed the family as a means to exemplify His relationship with us. Throughout the Bible we see the parallel of the Christian as a child of God and the Lord as our Father. His example is perfect, where this earth we have flawed relationships.

Flawed relationship, however, is not a reason to ignore working and striving for healthy relationships.

Once again the unconditional love we have talked about is the goal of our love toward our children and from children toward our parents. A forgiving love, an accepting love, an unselfish love. This is our aim, and this is real possibility because Christ loved us first and has shown us how to show this love.

1 John 4:19 NLT

19 We love each other because he loved us first.

As we know, real love is not just a feeling, but a behavior, an action that we demonstrate toward one another. This morning I would like to take a look at the demonstration of love of parents to children and children to parents....

1. Loving Our Children

There are a few distinct areas that Scripture speaks of parenting that is a demonstration of love towards them.

A. Provide for the Needs of Your Children

1 Timothy 5:8 NLT

8 But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.

Realize the command is to provide for your household - this does not mean every wish and desire, but food, clothing, shelter…

Parent, we have a responsibility to care for these needs. Not to spoil by giving into every desire, not every desire is good and does not teach responsibility… but to deny basic needs and to deny CARE — is a denial of our faith in Christ.

Care - in this situation is not just providing for physical needs, but also to look after - to nurture and tend to ---

We see much neglect in our society against children — and elderly - this verse works both ways --- to nurture and care for, and to provide for

B. Train Up A Child in the Way They Should Go

Proverbs 22:6 NLT

6 Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

Parent - love is a responsibility - to TRAIN

You brought this little human being into the world, and your responsibility is to prepare it for the world!

Teach them the right paths...

That begins with fearing and reverencing God - to be a part of a church community and to come to faith in Christ

It also means to prepare them to work and succeed in this world, to have training and life skills

How about social skills, how to interact with other people, and how to treat people fairly, kindly, and honestly

Children gain their life skills from their parents! Our lives are living examples to them - not just what we say, but more so what we do

Your children will model your life!

Our training does not end at age 18 - but continues on into their adulthood

Spiritually, how we serve, give, worship, attend all has an effect if coupled with truthfulness in the home that is the same at church, the same for work ethics and how we treat others.

C. Don’t provoke your kids

Ephesians 6:4 NLT

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

This is a strong admonition that brings us to creating abusive situations for kids. Emotional abuse, verbal abuse and physical abuse. This is not telling us to allow our kids to get away with whatever, but is rather a reference to not causing our kids to become angry by unreasonable or abusive leadership in the home.

Now, realize that does not mean that a controlled and loving spanking is out of line, but it is about reacting to our kids in anger and selfishness rather than in their best interest. To instruct in the Lord requires humility and placing the other in a more important place.

Think of the conversation Paul was making about submitting to one another… parent, we submit ourselves to our child’s needs not our demands and desires

2. Loving Our Parents

A young child, though they will exert their will which should be dealt with at a young age, will grow to self differentiate...

Self differentiation is ok, as long as it is respectful and honoring of your parents. Especially while you are home under their roof and care and legal responsibility.

A. Children always obey your parents

Colossians 3:20 NLT

20 Children, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord.

Unless your parent is asking you to sin, or directly defy the laws of man and/or God - it is your responsibility to love them through obedience.

They are responsible for your care and protection

B. Give Honor to Your Parents

Exodus 20:12 NLT

12 “Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

Wow, this has a promise - that if you honor your parents you will enjoy a long and blessed life.

Deuteronomy 5:16 NLT

16 “Honor your father and mother, as the Lord your God commanded you. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

As your parents become elderly I believe the verse from 1 Tim 5.8 applies...

1 Timothy 5:8 NLT

8 But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.

Take care of your aging parents!

Ephesians 6:2 NLT

2 “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise:

3. Forgiveness and Patience

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 NLT

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Families need this kind of love to be practiced. When children grow up they form their own lives, yet parents should still be an integral part of those lives, and visa versa.

Family dynamics can be a place of much hurt and harm, but we need to have good boundaries and the true principles of love bestowed upon our family members.

CONCLUSION

John 13:34–35 NLT

34 So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. 35 Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

We are encouraged to love each other - not just family members in the same way Christ loved us, how much more should that apply to those family members in our lives?

Whether child to parent, or parent to child or sibling to sibling - our families are a place for the love and forgiveness and unselfishness of the example of Christ to abound!

May we show this love not only in the church, but with our family members