You Have Heard it Said but I Tell You- Do Not Commit Adultery-Do Not Divorce

Sermon: FCC Marianna 2-27-2022 SOTM - "You've Hear it Said, But I Tell You: Do Not Commit Adultery/ Do Not Divorce" Scripture: Matthew 5:27-32 Today we continue our survey through Matthew 5-7, the Sermon on the Mount. Remember, surveying the Scriptures is the idea of digging into the Word, examining what ends up in our hands, then sifting through it to find the nuggets of truth and wisdom that the Holy Spirit is sharing, and storing those things away for further examination later on. The Sermon on the Mount is divided into distinct parts: the Beatitudes, the Believers' impact on the world, Jesus' rejection of old teaching and practices, and Jesus' calling to the Listener. Last week, we began our examination of Christ's new standard of behavior for His followers. We began this look into Jesus adding His more comprehensive wisdom to the Law, the same Law that He fulfilled in order to save us from. We looked at Jesus' expansion of the letter of the Law: do not murder. We examined what murder is and how the roots of murder are found in anger, malice, and hatred. We looked at Jesus' new standard for Believers to not even allow ourselves to be angry or retaliatory with our Brothers, but rather to seek forgiveness and reconciliation. We know that anger, hatred, and malice, if left unchecked and allowed to fester and grow, will lead to sin- and possibly even death and murder- but will always lead away from unity into division. We examined how we must be searching our own hearts to see if we have anything against someone else or whether they might have something against us before coming to worship. We must prepare our hearts and make sure we are worthy to come before God before coming to worship, because God does not want the worship/ sacrifice of someone with a dark, unworthy heart. What we are looking at in this section is Jesus' standard in regard to our heart's posture before God. Yes, it's good that you're not out actively sinning against others, but how is your heart? You may not be stabbing people, but if in your heart you really want to, then some adjustments need to be made. If you can get your heart into the appropriate attitude before the Father, then there will be no worry about whether you might stray too close to breaking the commands of the Law. Don't let the seeds of sin take root in your heart and they will never have an opportunity to grow into full-blown sins! Read Matthew 5:27-32 here: Pray here! We begin this morning with our second and third illustrations of Jesus' teaching on the Law. He goes right back after our tendency (we and the Pharisees) to hold rigidly to the letter of the Law, reveling in our righteousness, without understanding the true depth of the spirit of the Law- standing before God with blackened, sin-filled hearts. Main point: You could be technically innocent of never breaking the Law and still find yourself guilty before God because of your heart's position before the Law. Jesus' new standard focuses not on how rigidly you have maintained a list of rights and wrongs, but instead on the personal, internal aspects of the Law. Jesus' teaching here focuses on how often we approach the Law with the wrong attitude. Just like with murder, we far too often focus on the outward act without realizing that our attitude before the Law can also lead us into sin- we miss the point that sin begins within the heart and that our actions follow where our heart leads. The two illustrations from Jesus that we are going to look today are tough ones: adultery and divorce. These are not topics that are preached about often; indeed, they are not ones that I enjoy preaching about. But when preaching through a section of Scripture, I don't have the luxury of skipping verses that are tough to preach on; I simply preach what the Bible says. So, before we dig into this section of the Sermon on the Mount, please remember that point: that I am simply teaching through Jesus' teaching. I am not seeking to call out or condemn anyone for past behaviors or failures. Preaching through the Sermon on the Mount has not been some elaborate plot to get a personal dig in at anyone- believe me, I've had people attack me for preaching on hard topics because it was something they had been through and felt convicted about. But we want to take a good examination of God's intention and purpose for man and for marriage. God hates divorce; God hates the breakdown of the covenants made before Him; God hates the breakdown of the family unit. So, we are not looking, as we examine this teaching, at anyone who has gone through divorce or struggled with adultery, but rather at how we must commit to God's design and deal with the heart issues that lead us anywhere close to these sins. Point #1 Jesus condemns adultery Matthew 5:27-30 "You have heard that it was said, do not commit adultery. But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of the parts of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it better that you lose one of the parts of your body than for your whole body to go into hell!" -Jesus follows up the sin of committing murder with a similar sin: the sin of committing adultery. Like murder, under Levitical Law, the act of adultery was punishable by death, so it is another that may have caused people to pause and wonder why Jesus would spend time on it; no one was condoning adultery as a good thing. Also like with murder, the Pharisees took a lot of pride in the outward presentation of not committing the sin of adultery. They took great pride in not being murderers or adulterers; again, holding to the letter of the Law (Look at me! I've never killed anyone and I've never cheated on my wife!), without understanding that their hearts could be filthy with guilt from breaking Christ's higher standard! The Pharisees took the letter of the Law very seriously. They even tried to use it to trip Jesus up so that they could condemn Him and His teaching. Read: John 8:2-11 Jesus, of course, cuts right to the heart of the issue: only one perfect before the Law can condemn someone who is guilty before the Law. The Pharisees not only cannot condemn Jesus, but they are unable to condemn the woman caught in adultery (we won't even mention here that the man committing adultery is nowhere to be found, since he didn't fit into the Pharisees' plan). Jesus doesn't condemn the woman, either. He tells her to make a life change, to repent (to return one's heart and focus to our relationship with God), to stop sinning and commit to God's purpose and plan. Jesus confronts the Pharisees with the truth: that this sin is a heart issue. Yes, committing adultery is breaking God's Law- yes, the woman could be condemned to death- but it is also a sin to have a heart full of malice toward the woman. So is looking lustfully at women. Jesus says that, just as having a heart full of hate is just as bad as physically murdering someone, so is having a heart full of lustful desire just as bad as the physical act of adultery. Jesus' teaching is clear: it is much, much harder to avoid the sins of the heart and mind than it is to avoid going around cheating and murdering. We are reminded of this in Jeremiah 19:9- "The heart is deceitful above all else, and incurable- who can understand it?" -Both aspects of the sin, internal and external, indicate that we are not rightly attuned or focused on our Savior. The internal aspect of adultery begins with a sinful thought that is not immediately plucked out and tossed aside- it is allowed to fester and grow until it becomes a physical manifestation of sinful behavior. It is hard, especially in this day where we are bombarded with images and ideas on an almost constant level, to keep lustful thoughts from taking root in our hearts and minds, but that is the fight that we must accomplish. Just as with thoughts of anger and malice, we must recognize the inappropriate thoughts and rid ourselves of them- and then return our focus to God! It is particularly trying for men, being highly visual creatures in a world where highly sexualized behavior has become commonplace and normalized. Biblical morals and traditional norms are not spurred as abnormal and hateful and everything antithetical to holy, Christlike behavior is shoved down our throats. Men, we must be vanguards about what we allow into our hearts and minds, as well as what we allow into our homes. Seeing or noticing something is not sinful, but staying in that place, focusing on it, harboring it, or even growing resentful of your marriage because of the inappropriate expectations that develop, that is sinful. Guys, I get it; it is the easy path- it's easy to not even realize that you've allowed a thought to take root- and it's easier to check out and focus on fiction than it is to nurture your marriage- but we are not called to the easy path. The big lie of the enemy? "This is normal! Don't be ashamed by these desires!" But men, don't even let the seeds of sin blossom into desire- get rid of it! Ladies, the same goes for you. While you may not struggle with the visual side of lustful thoughts, you may be much more vulnerable to the emotional side of it. Finding yourself lusting after an emotional connection that you see in another man or growing resentful of your husband because he is not providing what you feel you need is sinful behavior and it can lead you into deeper sin quickly. Bottom line: men and women, we've got to be vigilant in keeping ourselves from sinful thoughts growing in our hearts and minds. That's why Jesus tells us to cut off what is causing the sinful thoughts! It is not a recommendation to literally cut off your hand or pluck out your eyes; a blind person with no hands can still struggle with lust and sinful thoughts! It means get rid of the things, stay away from the places, that are feeding the sinful desires and get your focus back on Jesus! TV Show? Inappropriate work relationship? If it is causing seeds of sinful thoughts, get rid of it! If it is causing you to sin, get rid of it now! Better you get rid of it now than for your marriage to fracture and your family to collapse; better to get rid of it than for it to lead you astray and away from God and for you to end up in hell! You won't find condemnation here; you will find sinners who are striving to be holy for our God because He has poured out His grace on us. You will find the reminder of Jesus' statement in John 8: "Neither do I condemn you. Now stop sinning and go."Jesus' position, which must be the position of the church, is "make it your priority to put the sinful behavior behind you, get your focus back on the Father, stop sinning, and begin pursuing holiness. Your sin has been covered by My grace, so begin living like that's important to you!" Point #2 Jesus censures divorce. Matthew 5:31-32 "It was also said, whoever divorces his wife must give her a written notice of divorce. But I tell you, everyone who divorces his wife, except in a case of sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery." -Again, this is not an attack or condemnation of anyone who has gone through divorce, but God hates divorce and the breakdown of His design for the marriage and family units. It is never His intent that something that has been joined with Him in a covenant should be broken apart. But here is, yet again, another example of the religious leaders of Jesus' day just not understanding the spirit of the Law given to them in regard to divorce. Under their interpretation of the Law, which was written to be a stringent process of identifying wrong-doing within a marriage and having witnesses who would attest to the sinful behavior before a marriage could be dissolved, the Pharisees were allowing divorce for any reason- including disliking the spouse or "incompatibility"- so long as it could be fit in under the umbrella of "wrongful behavior." Sounds a lot like the world we live in today. All a man had to do was give his wife a certificate of divorce and she was released from the union and sent back to her father's house, "free" to marry once more. Even those who followed a stricter interpretation of the Law still allowed for divorce for "major offenses," which was still open for interpretation. In Jewish culture, marriage and reproduction was expected (as it should be for Christians, as we are instructed to "be fruitful and multiply) as soon as a man came of age (roughly 15-16 years old). He was expected to marry and begin his family; the only exception was for those who were in full-time study of the Law- they were allowed to postpone things for a time. By the time of Jesus, marriage had become something of a social symbol and men were, practically speaking, always on the lookout for some better match and if they found someone better, they could dismiss their wife as "unsatisfactory" for whatever reason and send her back to her father as used, damaged goods. It is no surprise that a divorced woman didn't attract many suitors among the young eligible bachelors (who wanted young virgins), so a divorced woman would be left to hope for someone less appealing to come along. Discuss: Think about the woman at the well who had been divorced five times and was living with a sixth man who wouldn't even marry her. Remember, women had no say in the process, so how devastating it must have been for her to have been married and dismissed over and over, humiliated in the eyes of her family and community over and over. Divorce among the Jews, much like the church today being no different from the world, was getting out of hand- there was no Godly standard of marriage. Jesus steps in to change that. Jesus' new standard for Christian life sets a new standard for marriage, as well: "the bond, the covenant you make before God, should not be broken." Yes, there are a few exceptions that He gives, which we will discuss, but the standard Jesus sets is: the commitment that you make before God should only be ended when the union is broken by death. We are called by Christ to live up to this higher standard, which means that it is not okay to act just like the world when it comes to marriage. When you make a commitment before God, which is what marriage and sexual consummation is, you keep that commitment, even when it is tough, even when it hurts, even when you no longer feel "in love," even if in the toughest times it means separating for a while- you maintain the covenant before God, who always maintains His covenants with you. Discuss: Yes, this means even in abusive relationships. What I counsel in such situations is separation and prayer, loads and loads of prayer, before you even decide on the step of breaking your covenant before God. You don't give up. You work at it, you make it work, you figure out how to love again. You pray together and ask God to restore the romance. Whatever it takes, you stick it out. Exceptions clause: There are two Biblical exceptions that Scripture gives: two instances of permitted divorce. But let me preface this by saying: just because the exceptions exist does not mean that they are the best option, that they fall within God's design, or that they are part of God's plan. The first exception for divorce is found within this passage in verse 31-32, and reiterated again in Matthew 19:9. Jesus removes the penalty for divorce when one partner is guilty of adultery. Again, Jesus allows divorce in situations of adultery; he does not encourage or command it. Still the best course of action would be forgiveness and reconciliation, but the allowance is made. There will still be emotional, psychological, and spiritual consequences and fallout, especially for children. But Jesus declares that if adultery occurs, divorce is no longer forbidden in God's eyes- you are not breaking the Law or the covenant you made before God, because it has already been broken. The second of the divorce exceptions is found in 1 Corinthians 7:10-16. Actually, verses 10-14 reaffirm the teaching on marriage: if you are married, remain married. Verse 15-16 contain the exception: if you are married to an unbeliever and they leave, let them leave. This does not say that if you are both unbelievers and you become a Believer that you are allowed to divorce; there is no cause for a Believer, outside of adultery, to seek divorce, but if the unbelieving spouse decides to divorce, then the Believer is free to let them go. So, after establishing the standard that Jesus sets for marriage and the two exceptions for divorce, the question becomes: what does this mean for Believers who have divorced? Divorce outside of the allowed exceptions is sinful behavior; indeed, Jesus even classifies remarriage after an acceptable divorce as sinful behavior, as well. So, what happens if you find yourself there? The situation is the same as when anytime a Believer stumbles in sin. More sin doesn't make the first sin better. Being convicted of having gone through the sin of divorce does not mean that you need to break your new covenant before God so that you can go and try to reconcile with your first spouse (if neither of you are remarried, then by all means, yes, seek reconciliation). Repentance is stopping where you are currently rebelling against God and returning your focus to Him and what His purpose for you is. If you have been divorced and remarried, yes, that wasn't God's plan and purpose, but you can dedicate today to making your life and your marriage focused on Him and on being holy. Closing Question: What does this mean for you? If you haven't yet figured it out, this entire sermon series is about getting your heart right with the Father, getting back to doing things the way He intended, and returning your focus to Him. You may not have ever struggled with adultery or divorce, or with hatred, anger, malice, lust, any of those things, but I am sure that there is something in your heart that you need to get right before the Father. Take time today to examine yourself and see what it is that God is speaking to you, what it is that needs to be addressed, the areas where you need to return your focus to Him.