Great Reversal : Marriage

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Membership

Today we are starting a membership class after church and I wanted to start with an invite, if you are interested just join us, no need to sign up now just show up.

But here is the reason why it is important

1. We are a congregational based church. We believe that the congregation has the authority to call a pastor, to approve the budget. But we want people who are invested making that decision. Once a year we will have something called a Local Church Conference where you will hear from all the ministries here all that is going on. We will present a new budget…We will take questions

and we will showcase a strategic direction for next year.

Becoming a member brings unity, not uniformity

Becoming a member allows us to know who can vote and who can not

Out of the membership pool we select board members. Because the Local church conference delegates authority to the board. Imagine if we all got together to make every decision out there. That would be insane.

So membership really is our internal process of leading the church.

But it is not just a process for us but for you to own this place…To get invested here…Because we have a huge mission to reach the world.

Membership isn’t for everyone but if it sounds like something that you might be interested in then just join us after church, and if we had people online that want to do it, we’d be glad to run a zoom class but just reach out and let us know.

Lunch Next week: Mikey Higley stand up....

Now for the hard stuff

I have been preaching sermons on Jesus’ greatest sermon, The sermon on the mount.

Jesus’ Sermon lays out and invites people into God’s kingdom…And remember…A kingdom is God’s rule and reign

Jesus was saying…Hey I am a new kind of King and I want my rule to be extended through your life.

If you have been following along with this series we are in the part of the sermon on the Mount where Jesus talks about these vicious cycles…Like anger

Last week we talked about Lust and Adultery and this week we get into the natural extension of lust gone amuck…We get into the topic of divorce.

Now I know that there are people here that when someone says…We are going to talk about divorce you instantly recoil because, you’ve experienced one…

Whether it is that you have PTSD because as a child your parents split up or because you are living through the pain of a divorce now. This is not a fun subject for you…In fact It might cause you to squirm in your chair a little bit…and I totally get that...

Because, In all my years of being a pastor I have never sat down with someone who was divorced and had them say, it was a “wonderful experience, I’d recommend it to everyone.”

No! Divorce is painful and disruptive and there is a lot of confusion in the Bible about what God thinks about it.

Its why when I marry someone I read the traditional words:

“Marriage signifies the mystery of the union between Christ and his church. The scripture say that marriage is to be honored and protected among all people. Therefore, marriage is not something that is entered into lightly or unadvisedly. But marriage is something that is entered into reverently, soberly and advisedly. .....

I talk about marriage as a big deal because the Bible talks about it as a big deal.

So before we even start…I know that many people here are affected by divorce…And maybe you’ve gone though one and it has been painful.

This is a place for you

I believe that you can find healing, hope and redemption though Jesus…You’re not damaged goods, you’re not less than, Just like me, you are in need of a savour

But on the same hand. Divorce is not what God wants for you, he designed marriage as something so much greater…But as a people we are sinful and broken so Unfortunately Divorce happens

So today I hope that we can find some clarity and redemption and really point to the bigger picture of marriage in God’s kingdom.

So flip with me to Matthew 5:31-32

The New International Version Chapter 5

31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ n 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

On one hand: We need to look at the plain meaning of this: And that is Jesus has an extremely high view of marriage

Already it seems like the response from this teaching is “ouch.” For many people it just seems harsh and the reality is that it needs a lot of unpacking.

But we have to understand something about the Men of Jesus’ day. One of the biggest questions for men of this time was how to get rid of a woman who didn't please him but still follow God.

And if your thinking this way there is a good chance that you life is governed by your own kingdom of selfishness then by the kingdom of God.

We know from historical record that men frequently divorced their wives due to some sort of ridiculous reason...

See the problem is that the text that everyone is talking about is Deuteronomy 24:1, that verse talks about divorce because you find out something “indecent” about your spouse …Now in the Hebrew it is pretty clear that Deuteronomy 24:1 is talking about if you find out your spouse is having sex with someone else…but that word “indecent” gave the rabbis a lot of leeway

At the time in the religious schools there were great debates about divorce. This topic of divorce really hi-lights the importance of reading the Bible in its cultural context.

In Jesus day there was the teachings of Shammai a rabbi who taught that divorce should only be on moral grounds, Jesus was the closest to this rabbi in his teachings

The school of Hillel taught that divorce could be given for any and every reason, for example burning food or over salting the food would have been grounds for divorce...

Other rabbi’s took this furtherer like Rabbi Akibah said that if a man saw another woman who was more attractive than his wife, he could divorce his wife and marry the new girl

For many of these rabbi’s divorce was a practice of getting the paperwork right

You can see how in Jesus day, he was right in the center of a contemporary debate not really on divorce but on what marriage was in the first place

SO to say really simply what Jesus said in the sermon on the mount...

Sexual immorality is grounds for divorce

Otherwise you make a woman a victim…And Jesus is very concerned with making others victims

and careful when you remarry

This is totally clear right? Can just end now? No, not even remotely…

Flip with me to Matthew 19.

See the rest of the Book of Matthew is people asking Jesus about the Sermon on the Mount. He has made such a stir with everything that he said people couldn't let it go...

So I think we are going to camp out here for the rest of the time

Jesus restates exactly what he said in the sermon on the mount here but it is more of a dialogue

Matthew 19:1-2

The New International Version (Chapter 19)

19 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

Ok when we get here we have to Pause here.

Pharisees are coming and Matthew tells us the intent of these men…They came to put Jesus to the test.

So they want to test Jesus, There are these two rabbis that lives a generation before Jesus, Hillel and Shammai, One says hey you can only divorce your wife when it comes to unfaithfulness in marriage and the other one says…Hey making bad food is not fulfilling the marriage covenant

So they are probably thinking…Okay Jesus we have heard your teachings from the Sermon on the mount…Now explain yourself

See the conversation that these religious leaders wanted to have was very technical about divorce...

They wanted to dive into the teachings of the rabbis and debate them which was a very common practice in Jesus day

But see the son of the living God is smarter than that

These Pharisees start at divorce...

But you cant have a conversation about divorce until you understand the sacredness of marriage.

Matthew 19:4-6

4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ v 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

This might seem dumb and simple but many times when Jesus gets into a debate with the pharisees, he starts with saying, “Have you not read?”

Its almost like the Pharisees of course have read Genesis…But they cared so much more about their own interpretations that they were not willing to abandon them in favor of the plain meaning of the scripture...

Don’t we do this at times too? We have thoughts about God and we would much rather go to google or go to youtube to figure this all out. But Jesus’ response has always been…Have you read your bible?

As christians we have to be willing to hold onto our own thoughts loosely, because as God says in the Bible: “for my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways” (Isaiah 55)

We always have to let the Bible change our mind…Because the Bible is authoritative and my thoughts are not

The Bible is infallible, I am fallible

The Bible is inerrant and I am errant

So what Jesus says here is radical and simple and I want to make sure that we get it.

Jesus was in the middle of a contemporary debate surrounding marriage

So Jesus says: In the beginning God made two genders male and female

And that man and woman will leave mom and dad’s house and get married

And that what marriage really is, is a bond that makes two people one flesh forever. This is marriage.

Then Jesus clarified…The way God sees married people is not as two separate beings but as one flesh

And then Jesus says that God united these people so no one should separate them. In other-words, God originally intended marriage to be a forever commitment

So in the middle of a contemporary debate on divorce: The internal logic of Jesus is not to get into the debate but to go back to the beginning... Jesus points to the garden ideal…Genesis 1-2

I mean if Jesus was tweeting this today he’d be canceled on social media...

Because Jesus says, there are two Genders

Marriage is between a man and a woman

Marriage is forever

This is so counter cultural right now in our world

So let’s pick up the story in Matthew 19:7-9

7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

So here is where Jesus repeats his line from the sermon on the mount:

See the Pharisees again are reading the Bible wrong and Jesus corrects them

I love this exchange because it’s almost like we are at a little Bible study between the pharisees and Jesus…The pharisees are saying…Hey Moses commanded us to give a certificate of Divorce…And then Jesus corrected them…He said…Oh no…Moses Permitted...

In other words, Moses made a concession…Because your hearts were hard

And then again…Jesus reminds them....It wasn’t that way in the way that God ever intended the relationship of marriage to be

Some of you know this you have lived though being the victim of adultery, you have live through neglect and abuse and maybe abandonment...

I have never met anyone who has lived though a divorce who thought…Wow what a life giving experience…I’d do that again

Its traumatic because you just know, this is not the way it was meant to be.

Then Jesus talks about the man who divorces his wife and marries another woman…What Jesus is doing is calling into question the legitimacy of the divorce and saying…See your still married and playing house with another woman...

Where the world says, if things aren't going well focus on divorce

Jesus says focus on marriage

so Just to summarize Jesus has high ideals on marriage.

Marriage is a covenant relationship of two people becoming one flesh…and nothing should separate that , God is saying that marriage is for life...

BUT People are sinful’

People have hard hearts

People do terrible things to one another and it leaves a mark in your life...

So this whole exchange ends with the disciples getting what Jesus is talking about and being disturbed

Matthew 19:10-12

10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

So do you get the disciples objections?

To them it is harder to be married than to be single...

They are like, wow if we can’t just divorce at a whim then we are so much better off staying single

And in a limited way Jesus agrees with them.

Now in Jesus’ day every royal court had Eunuch’s. These were slaves who were physically castrated to protect the royal women.

Now even though Eunuch’s could have sex they had to remain celibate

and what Jesus is saying to the disciples is that everyone has a different situation and he address the single people…He says some act like Eunuch’s to devote their life fully to God.

if you have this kind of strength to accept it then you should accept it.

So in our world today

Catholic Priests are celibate and they devote their entire life and energy to the church: In that tradition celibacy is probably over emphasized

Many Protestants undervalue celibacy and hastily push young christians into marriage when they should probably be single for a little while.

But what Jesus is saying here is that Singleness is not a curse…whether you are divorced now and single or never been married, it is not a curse to be single…It is an opportunity to devote your singleness to the kingdom of God in a powerful way

Corrie Ten Boom was a dutch woman who was pledged to be married and the man to who she was pledged came to her door one day…and when she opened the door she saw this man and he had another woman with her…He spoke with Corrie and told her that his parents wanted him to marry someone of higher social standing and that this was his new Fiancé...

This broke her. She ran to her room and cried but then she decided right there, to devote her entire life to the Lord…Shortly after that she began working with the mentally disabled…And then World War Two broke out..

Hitler would eventually invade the Netherlands…She sort of stumbled into the dutch resistance because she was already saving people..

She was leading a youth ministry for girls at the time and they found out the there were 100 Jewish babies in an orphanage that were going to be killed by the nazis…So they heroically raided the orphanage and took every one of those 100 babies

Corrie then used her fathers business to hide hundreds of Jews that they were getting to safety

When she was eventually caught she shoved her little Bible into her waste-band… when it was her turn to be searched she prayed “Lord, you once opened the eyes of the blind, now please close the eyes of those who can see.” When it was her turn to be searched right in front of her there was a commotion and she walked straight through without being searched. ‘

In the concentration camp, she was put in the filthiest building. It was built for just a couple of hundred but there were 700 women packed in…Because of the smell and the fleas the guards never entered that barracks

Corrie taught multiple bible studied a day to these 700 women seeing several hundred come to follow Jesus

One day she was released in what she called a divine clerical error…But she wouldn't stop…She wrote and spoke about forgiveness and traveled the world telling about her experience.

If you don’t know her story go google it…its amazing and it all started that night on her bed when she renounced marriage for the sake of the kingdom of God

So wow…Jesus’ little Two sentence stance on divorce kind of turns out to be a lot right?

And the reality is that we can keep going

But now that we understand what Jesus is saying I want to take things really simply next and ask what does it mean for us:

Any thoughts of divorce should always begin with what marriage is:

Marriage always points to something bigger.

All through the Bible God will use marriage language to describe his relationship with Israel

When Jesus comes to Jerusalem he continually calls himself the Bridegroom

The new Testament authors pick up on this language and call Jesus the Bridegroom the church and the church as the Bride of Christ

Eph 5:25-33

The New International Version (Chapter 5)

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” e 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Paul picked up on this metaphor and he says listen Men: The way you treat your wife can either lead people to Jesus or away from Jesus

Men you need to show the world how Jesus loves the church

Men love your wife in a self-sacrificing way

Care for your wife

Protect and provide for your wife

Care for your wife in the same way that you would care for your own body…because you are one flesh.

And hey this is a profound mystery: But what you do in your marriage puts the gospel on display

Because whenever you have a marriage you have two sinners trying to make a go of it forever and when you can love that sinner with the love of Jesus in ways they never expected or maybe in ways you don’t think they deserve. Then you reveal the love of Jesus

So church it actually matters that you have strong healthy marriages....It matters that they don’t break easily

It matters that in your marriage you practice loving broken people

It matters that you practice forgiveness

It matters that your kind to each other

it matters because God wants your marriage to reveal his love

Literally your marriage should be a living billboard for following Jesus

Now lets talk about divorce: Reasons why We can divorce Biblically…and by the way, it never says we have to divorce over these

Jesus said in Matthew 5:31-32, Adultery or Sexual immorality

The apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:10-24, Abandonment

And many people have pointed out that there are a number of Old Testament passaged that call for husbands to provide shelter and food and to not harm his wife. I believe that abuse towards children or your spouse is grounds for divorce as well. There are too many places in scripture to point out just one but essentially it violates all of the covenant vows that you take on your wedding day...

The core issue today is not what is a Biblically justifiable way to get a divorce…What Biblical loopholes can I climb through to end this marriage

The core issue today is

1. If your here today and your marriage isn’t going great. Don’t give up! Run to Jesus he is the author and perfecter of marriage…He can redeem what you believe is a lost cause

2. If your here and your divorced…Don't buy into any of the lies…that you are somehow damaged goods…Lean into singleness

3. If your here and your married…Lean into your marriage Be like Jesus to one another…Your marriage points to Jeesus

How can I love my spouse the same way that Jesus love me?

2. How do we do everything in our power to grow in love with one another and not drift apart?

3. If you are here and you are divorced. Jesus cares for you. Jesus cares about victims and this is a key point...