The Purpose of Marriage

Good morning, welcome to NHCC, please open Bibles to Ephesians.

Do we know the Gospel? The good news of Jesus Christ? Let’s briefly walk through it.

God created man in right relationship with Him.

Genesis 1:28-31- And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so. And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.

Man sinned and rejected the authority of God.

Genesis 3:6- So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.

RC Sproul- Cosmic treason.

As a result, relationships are broken. Intimacy with God, broken. Intimacy in relationship, broken. Marriage, parenting, all broken and requiring restoration.

Man is thus sinful, and lives according to such a nature.

Romans 5:12- Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned...

As seen in the text- death is the consequence of such a nature.

This is our problem. This is our fate. And left to ourselves, nothing is capable of fixing us. At our root is sin.

Romans 7:18- For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.

Much of the entirety of Scripture then tells the story of God fixing the problem, redeeming mankind.

Calling of Israel, salvation of Israel, giving of the Law, building of the tabernacle and temple, sending of the prophets.

Culmination of this redemption was found in the incarnation of Jesus, and ultimately in His death and resurrection.

Titus 2:13-14- ...waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.

1 Peter 1:18-19- ...knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot.

How is such salvation, such redemption received? Through faith in Jesus Christ alone.

Galatians 2:16- ...yet we know that a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ, so we also have believed in Christ Jesus, in order to be justified by faith in Christ and not by works of the law, because by works of the law no one will be justified.

What, then, is received in salvation?

Eternal life.

John 3:16- “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

The threat of death being removed is wonderful, but the giving of eternal life is even bigger. It is right relationship with God. Note how Jesus describes it.

Luke 23:43- And he said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

What makes it paradise? Restored intimacy with God the Father, Son and Spirit. We’ve returned to the paradise of the garden. No sin.

This is what God is accomplishing on a cosmic and yet personal scale.

The book of Ephesians proclaims this Gospel.

Narrows in a bit more on the work of God being accomplished in our world. Let’s work through a few texts in Ephesians to see what Paul is describing.

Ephesians 1- Our identity in Jesus. God rules over all things and will bring about His purposes in all things.

Ephesians 2:1-10- presentation of this Gospel that we just summarized.

In the middle- Ephesians 2:4-6- But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus…

We have been made alive. We have been changed, restored, saved, redeemed.

What has God accomplished in making us alive? Let’s turn our attention to later in chapter 2.

Ephesians 2:11-14- Therefore remember that at one time you Gentiles in the flesh, called “the uncircumcision” by what is called the circumcision, which is made in the flesh by hands— remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility...

God has taken the natural state of man as a result of the fall and has begun to reverse such a state.

Jews and Gentiles both coming together in Christ, removed from their former hostilities.

What does such unity look like?

Ephesians 4:1-3- I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

This is the set apart life. The life that is united with Christ, as stated in Ephesians 1.

The life that has been given true, spiritual life as described in Ephesians 2.

The life that has been brought into unity with those with whom hostility had formerly ruled.

Humility, gentleness, patience, love, unity. These are the marks of God’s victory in the church.

We find a reversal of the curse. A restoring, yet not perfecting, of godly intimacy in relationship.

What has this to do with marriage? Everything! Let’s turn our attention to chapter 5.

Read Ephesians 5:22-27, 32-33- Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish... This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

The text that best defines what a marriage is meant to look like. Submission and Love. Love and respect.

Main point- Marriage is to reflect the gospel.

The husband represents Jesus. He is NOT Jesus, but he represents Jesus.

The wife represents the people of God, the church.

Please be careful- there is a way to read our text that would echo the sinfulness of Adam and Eve, rejecting God’s authority.

Think of what we have been learning. The vast majority of Scripture proclaims the great redemption plan of God through Jesus.

John Piper- “Marriage is not mainly about being or staying in love. It’s mainly about telling the truth with our lives. It’s about portraying something true about Jesus Christ and the way He relates to his people. It is about showing in real life the glory of the gospel.”

Marriage requires forgiveness.

Jesus on the cross- forgive them.

Luke 6:27-28- “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.”

Please don’t misunderstand- if you are in a physically abusive relationship, this does not require you to stay and take the abuse.

But note the heart that Jesus is describing- those in Christ can love those who have wronged them deeply.

If this is how Jesus instructs believers to behave toward enemies, what would He say about how we are to behave toward our spouses?

We have sinned greatly against Jesus, and He has forgiven us all of those sins.

Marriage requires dying to self.

What does it mean to truly love someone, as God loves? Consider what we have read: God so loved the world that He gave…Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

More than taking a bullet for our spouse. Loving our spouse as Christ loves the Church involves a putting to death of self.

How do we love Jesus? Likely will never have to die for the cause of the Gospel, but our lives are still meant to be living sacrifices.

We are meant to love our spouses in much the same way.

Can we love as Christ loved when it means a shutting down of our own desires and pursuits in order to put first the desires and pursuits of our spouses?

Are we able to die to self in such a way?

Marriage requires encouragement.

More than simple encouragement.

Look again at the text- Jesus washes the church.

Bryan Chapell- “The role of Christian husbands is redemptive. Husbands represent Christ to their spouses. Their primary purpose as heads of households is to help all persons in the home fully apprehend the Lord’s grace in their lives.”

Jesus sanctifies His bride. We should see a similar role in our responsibility toward our spouse in marriage. We are meant to encourage in the faith.

Does our relationship with our spouse remove blemishes, spots and wrinkles? Or does it add them?

What role have we played and are we playing in the spiritual development of our spouses?

As we finish with marriage this morning, we ask ourselves- What is our marriage reflecting to a world that is watching?