Wedding - Kevin and Cydney Malcolm

Pre-Service Instructions

Thank you for being here this evening.

Your presence and support for Kevin and Cydney is deeply appreciated by them.

We are going to be starting in a couple of minutes, but before we get started I want to make one announcement.

I am aware that many of you are absolutely incredible at capturing the perfect instagram or snap chat photos, but I am going to ask that you refrain from taking pictures during the ceremony. For the reception, insta and snap away, but for now, let’s leave it to the professionals.

While you are thinking about your cell phone, now would be a great time to silence or better yet, turn off your phone.

Thank you for your cooperation and again, we will begin shortly.

Bridal Processon

GIVING THE BRIDE - ***Audience stands as bride enters

**Who gives this woman to be married?  Kevin, please receive your bride. 

WELCOME

We are here this afternoon to witness the union of Kevin Malcolm and Cydney Johnson in marriage.

On behalf of the couple, I would like to thank you for joining them for this special day.

I would also ask that you commit to praying for them and their marriage - that they would be rooted firmly in Christ and that their marriage would display godliness to a watching world.

Prayer

It is with this in mind that I am going to ask that you join me in prayer.

Pray

You may be seated

INTRODUCTION

I love getting the honor of officiating weddings because I have the seat closest to the action.

And I get to play a small part in the Lord bringing a man and a woman together to become one.

What is happening right now is a deeply spiritual moment where the Lord is at work in a special way.

Right now, He is establishing the strongest union between two human beings that we know on this earth.

This is not a time where a contract is ratified and sealed.

This is a moment where a covenant is established, not meant to be broken by anything other than death.

It is with this in mind, that we move forward - excited about what the Lord is doing right here and right now.

That being said, it is important to make a very clear distinction.

MESSAGE

Your marriage is not primarily about you - It’s about the Gospel

You see, He is the designer and author of marriage - and the reason we are here today.

He has established a framework for what marriage is supposed to look like for us.

Marriage is supposed to be a proclamation of the gospel.

Kevin and Cydney’s marriage will be about proclaiming the good news of a God who wants to be intimately involved in our lives.

While this day is significant for both Kevin and Cydney, their desire is that Jesus be the centerpiece of the day, and that His Gospel be known.

To this end, they want everyone here and whose watching to have the opportunity to hear this Gospel that has transformed their own hearts and lives.

This gospel is not something that simply compels them to attend church, or serve others, or pray.

This gospel is the very foundation and framework of who Kevin and Cydney are as individuals- it’s their identity first and foremost - before anything else.

What do I mean when I say gospel?

The word gospel means “good news”.

In the book of Luke, when the angel appeared to the shepherds, he said “I bring you good news of great joy, that will be for all people.”

This good news is the truth that God had come to rescue people.

It’s the news that you and I can be counted as righteous before an almighty God and experience the love of a more perfect father than we could even imagine.

It’s the truth that Jesus Christ came and died to save the broken and sick - and that everyone who accepts Him is gifted with His righteousness - and accepted by HIM!

The Apostle Paul in the first chapter of Romans said this about the gospel “it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith.”

So, the Gospel is described as “Good News” and as “the power of God for salvation.”

What exactly is it then?

He then says in 1 Corinthians 15:3-4 “For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures.”

Today, while it is important that you witness this special day for Kevin and Cydney, their desire is that you walk away knowing the source of their own hope and peace - Jesus Christ.

Following Jesus is not a call to religion and rituals and you are not given a list of good deeds that you must perform in order to be saved. .

The way I would illustrate this is Kevin doesn’t buy Cydney flowers so that she will love him… He buys her flowers because she already does love him.

It’s the same way with the Lord - we don’t try to live a certain way so that He will love us, we seek to live that way because He does.

The beautiful thing about this is that His love for us does not diminish when we fail to live in a God-honoring way - which is ALL of us, more often than we would like to admit.

Believing the gospel is not a call to simply commandeer the name of Christ and never be changed in your heart.

It is not a call to be perfect, and He never expects you to be.

It is a call to relationship with Him - a relationship that transforms your heart and changes you in every conceivable way.

Sin

The first thing that must be understood is our brokenness.

Each of us carries with us this weight of sin that alienates and separates us from God - and from one another.

We all feel this - whether we want to admit it or not.

It is that desire to keep hidden those things that we know would bring shame upon our lives

Its the dark corners of our life that we want to keep hidden because of how people would view us if they knew.

Its the brokenness that leaves us under condemnation.

Romans 3:11 makes it clear that none of us choose the Lord, but rather we choose destruction.

Because of this, we stand under divine punishment - the wrath of God - that when realized at the end of our lives results in eternity separated from Him in hell.

Jesus

But God, being loving and desirous of a relationship with us, loved us enough to rescue us from this sin.

John 3:16 tells us that God sent His only Son Jesus Christ who is fully God and fully man to come and live the life that is demanded to be accepted by God - and He was the only one who was able to do that.

It also tells us that if we believe in Him, we WILL be saved.

Jesus was subjected to a punishment that was more suited for the most heinous of sinners - for people like you and like me.

He was beaten and crucified, and the Lord placed the full weight of His Wrath on Christ for the sin of mankind.

And in the most tragic event in human history, Jesus Christ, the only perfect person who has ever walked the earth was killed mercilessly as a criminal.

He was buried and raised on the third day - effectively conquering Satan, sin, and death - allowing us to be presented as holy if only we call to Him in Faith.

What do we do with this truth?

There are two components: Repentance and belief.

We repent of our sin - literally turn from our allegiance to sin, and turn to the Lord

We believe - that Jesus died, was buried, and was raised.

When we respond to God in this way, He takes every ounce of our sin and brokenness and places it on His Son and takes every ounce of Christ’s righteousness and places it on us.

When we believe in Christ, we stand before God, confident and bold, not as a slave or hired hand, but as a child of God.

Responding Now

The beautiful part about this truth is that you can respond to it right now - and you do not need me, you do not need a priest, you don’t need a list of good deeds to outweigh your bad ones… you just need Jesus!

Confess your sin to Him, confess that you believe that He lived and died according to the Scriptures and that He was raised on the third day.

Call out for His salvation to be applied to your heart, and thank Him for saving you.

If you call to Him in faith, He WILL save you, and He WILL transform your life.

If you made that decision, you need people who will encourage you in your walk with HIM.

It takes a village to raise a spiritual child.

Get in Christian community - Kevin and Cydney go to a great church! (I may be biased)

Find a Jesus loving, mission focused church and become a member

Talk to Kevin and Cydney about the decision you made and allow them to walk with you.

I can assure that if you came to know Christ at their wedding, it will be one of the major highlights of their day - so please share that with them!

How marriage is connected to the Gospel

First: Marriage was created by God, FOR God.

Unless you get this into your head and heart, you will likely not experience the depth of blessing that can be found in marriage.

Without this understanding, marriage will be reduced to simply existing for whatever benefit each person can gain.

This is a significant reduction of what God would desire for marriage.

Kevin and Cydney, you are getting married today not solely for your own satisfaction, but rather for God’s glory to be seen.

Your satisfaction takes a backseat to God’s Glory - and your marriage is not about you - it’s about Him.

When you both put God’s glory as your highest aim in marriage, the personal satisfaction will come, but we cannot get this out of order.

Second: Christ calls the church His bride.

The church is anyone who has called on Jesus Christ for salvation by placing their faith and hope in HIM.

Scripture refers to those people collectively as the Bride of Christ.

Christ is our bridegroom, and He comes to gather us up for HIMSELF.

His pursuit is for our heart, much like Kevin has pursued Cydney’s heart.

When someone comes to know Christ, they are given a new name and welcomed into His family as His own.

Cydney, when you take Kevin’s last name, it is simply an earthly copy of us taking Christ’s name when we were saved.

Kevin and Cydney, as you step into this covenant of marriage, you should seek to model your marriage on the example that Christ has set for us with the church.

But how do you do this?

We find profound wisdom about this in Ephesians 5 where Paul wrote these words:

Biblical Mandate for Marriage

Ephesians 5:22–33 (ESV)

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Kevin

It is interesting to me that there is about three times as much said to the husband as there is to the wife, so Kevin, I will start with you.

I hear Paul calling you to at least five different things. 

1. Love your wife

2. Sanctify Her

3. Present her without spot or wrinkle

4. Love her as you love yourself

5. Hold fast to her

First - Love your wife (as Christ Loved the church and gave Himself up for her

Paul helped us understand what this looks like by giving a qualifier - “as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her”

How did Jesus love us?

He saw our sin, took our sin from us, died a brutal death as punishment for that sin, and then gave us His righteousness so that we would be welcomed in as a child of God.

This is the way you are being called to love Cydney.

This is a willful denial of self so that you might serve her.

Second, Sanctify her

When someone or something is sanctified, it means that they are set apart for a special purpose

Kevin, you are to Sanctify Cydney by setting her apart for a special purpose - one that no other woman shall ever be set apart for.

She is to be special to you, cared for by you, and viewed as different than everyone else in this world.

She is to occupy a place in your heart that is not given to anyone else - including children that you may have some day.

When you set her apart from everyone else, you place her there permanently.

Her sanctified position in your heart should never be challenged by anyone or anything as long as you live.

Third, Present her without spot or wrinkle.

When Christ died for us, he gave us his righteousness - His perfection - and when the Lord looks upon us, He sees the perfection of Jesus and none of our brokenness.

He sees no spots or wrinkles.

How do you do this for Cydney?

You will see her spots and wrinkles…

You will see her shortcomings and her failures.

You will see her sin and her shame.

But your goal is to see her as the Lord sees her, clean in Jesus.

You do not hold her sin and her failure against her.

Instead, you proclaim Jesus’ death over her and therefore her innocence before God.

Additionally, you seek to protect her from the shame of failure that might be placed upon her from the outside world.

Fourth, Love her as you love yourself

Isn’t it interesting that Paul says this twice...

Things that are repeated in Scripture bear significant importance.

Kevin, you are to love Cydney as Christ loved the church AND as you love your own body.

This means that in all of the ways that you are looking out for yourself, you must be looking out for her.

You do not use her as a means to an end, but rather lift her up as though she was an extension of your own body.

You should seek to nourish her and encourage her in her daily walk with Christ, knowing that this is the most important thing to keep her healthy spiritually.

Fifth, you are to hold fast her her.

What does it mean to hold fast?

The Greek word here is “proskollao” which literally means to be stuck to - as when you glue two things together.

It is to be inseparably bound to!

Kevin, the covenant that you are entering into today is one that is not meant to be undone.

Just as Christ will NEVER turn us away, you are never to turn away Cydney.

The implication here is also a shifting of allegiance.

Before today, your allegiance was to your family of origin, but now it will be to Cydney.

This does not mean that you no longer bear any allegiance to your family, it just means that allegiance falls secondary to your allegiance with Cydney.

In doing these things, you will give that sacrificial love commanded in Ephesians.  Love that has been modeled for us by Christ Himself.

Cydney

Cydney, the Lord has something to say to you as well through Paul’s words…

1. Submit to your husband

2. Respect your husband

First, You are being called to submit to Kevin. 

This has been one of the most misunderstood ideas in the Bible, and I want us to understand what this means.

The command for you to submit to Kevin is not a license for him to rule over you as a barbarian or for him to dominate you.

The idea of submission is one of yielding to him

As a quick point of clarity, this is not a one-way street…

Just before this passage, in Ephesians 5:21, it tells us that Christians should submit, or yield to one another out of reverence for Christ.

There is a mutual submission to one another in marriage.

But Cydney, your submission, as described in Ephesians 5:22, 24 is your willingness to be led by Kevin, as your husband.

Why is this important?

because in the created order of things, the Lord has set up marriage to operate in a particular way.

The husband is described as the head of the Christian family.

It is important to know this, because you are going to have a natural sinful wiring that goes against this idea.

In Genesis 3:16, the Lord tells us that as a result of the Fall, Eve would desire to rule over Adam and not submit to his leadership.

This tendency has been passed down through history to every daughter of Eve, and you must fight this urge.

So what does this submission look like?

We talked about this a bit in our premarital counseling sessions.

Submission means that you are to respond to Kevin’s leadership in a loving and encouraging way always looking out for his best interest and spurring him towards Christ. 

It means that you are to be an advisor to him and assist him in fulfilling his role as head of the house.

It does not mean that you are to simply be quiet and never make your opinion known.

In Genesis 2, Eve is described as a helper for Adam.

I always tell couples that one of the major roles that Cammy has had in my life is helping me to not be an idiot...

Cydney, help Kevin not be an idiot! ;)

Before anyone gets upset about this term helper, let’s remember that Jesus described the Holy Spirit as our Helper in John 14.

It is a term of honor and Cydney, like the Holy Spirit helps us in our journey to look more like Jesus, part of your role for Kevin is to help him look more like Jesus.

Second, you are called to respect Kevin. 

The word used here is the same word that is used for the Christian in his or her respect of the Lord.

It is a respect that is rooted in deep and abiding love and conjures up the idea of adoration.

Cydney, your respect should look a lot like adoration for Kevin.

It is a respect that supersedes the respect for others in your life.

Again, this is tied to the idea of allegiance, that you have allegiance to Kevin before anyone else in your life.

Cydney, it is your respect that is going to be one of the most effective ways to guard his heart... 

This is part of your duty as a wife. 

Cydney, you are to be a shield for Kevin’s heart, sealing it with unbreakable respect that will endure floods of hardship.

For both of you…

Isn’t it interesting that Paul tells the Husband to love his wife and the wife to respect her husband

But he doesn’t tell the husband to respect his wife and the wife to love her husband.

But this isn’t because you aren’t supposed to.

He emphasizes the ones that we need work on.

Kevin, you will naturally tend to respect Cydney

Cydney, you will naturally tend to love Kevin.

We must make it a point and priority to do the thing that we might not naturally do.

Ultimately, both of you are to love and respect one another within your marriage which will serve as a mode of glorifying Christ. 

People should be able to look at your marriage and see the gospel at work, keeping you two united for His glory and His Kingdom purposes.

Keep Christ at the very core of who you are as a married couple. 

Set an example for your brothers and sisters in Christ who one day desire to enter into the covenant of marriage.

VOWS - Kevin first - Cydney Second

At this time, Kevin and Cydney are going to exchange vows that they have prepared themselves.

These are the promises that they are making to one another.

With the Lord’s strength, they will live faithfully with one another and thereby bring glory to the Father.

Kevin, Cydney, at this time, please share your vows with one another, starting with you, Kevin.

BLESSING OF THE RINGS

Kevin and Cydney are exchanging rings as a symbol of the covenant that they have made. Although small, these rings are made of precious metals and are in a perfect circle to signify the preciousness and ongoing nature of your covenant. The rings do not make you any more or less married, they are simply a reminder to you of the covenant promise that you have made to God and each other.

EXCHANGE RINGS

Kevin place Cydney’s ring onto her ring finger of her left hand

Cydney place Kevin’s ring onto his ring finger of his left hand.

“I offer you this ring -- as a symbol of my vow -- and my promise -- to love you unconditionally -- for the rest of our lives. -- Wear it as a reminder -- of the covenant -- that we have made today -- before the Lord -- and our friends and family.

Communion and Prayer Time

Kevin and Cydney will be taking communion as a part of their wedding, and they will be inviting you, if you are a follower of Christ, to join them in celebrating the Lord’s supper

When believers take communion, it is in obedience to what Jesus told His disciples at the last supper.

It is also a celebration of the sacrifice that He made for us.

As we eat the bread, we are reminded of his broken body, which was offered up to the Lord, like a sacrificial lamb.

As we drink the juice, we are reminded of the blood of Jesus that was poured out to establish and seal an unbreakable covenant.

His sacrifice was one that was sufficient for all time.

Because of His sacrifice, we no longer need to offer up sacrifice to the Lord for our sins.

That is done, and we rest in the finished work of Jesus.

This is part of the beauty of the Lord’s Supper and the reason why we celebrate in this way.

It is also a reminder of what our salvation cost.

Jesus’ life was brutally extinguished because of YOUR sin and MY Sin.

Let us remember this and understand that our sin cost Jesus His life.

In this, let us seek to live our lives in a way that brings glory to His name and not shame.

1 Corinthians Chapter 11 tells us that:

on the night when he was betrayed took bread, 24 and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” 25 In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.”

Kevin and Cydney are going to move to the side to take the Lord’s supper and pray together.

This is yet one more declaration that they want to have their marriage built on the foundation of Christ and His Word.

As they do this, I will ask that you pick up the metal tins at the end of your row and pass them down.

As I mentioned before, the Lord’s Supper is for Christ-followers.

If you have never repented of your sin and believed in Jesus for your salvation, I would ask that you refrain from participating in Communion.

If you decided to follow Jesus for the first time earlier when I was talking about the gospel, then please do join us as we take communion.

While you do, please lift up Kevin and Cydney in prayer!

pass buckets back to gather trash

Marital Charge

Before we close, I want to give you a marital charge or exhortation

Together, Keep Christ at the very core of who you are as a married couple.

It is for His glory that you are standing here today.

Remember that your marriage is not primarily about your happiness or your fulfillment - it is for the Lord’s glory.

If you are devoted to HIS glory, He will bring fulfillment and happiness.

But not as this world brings fulfillment and happiness.

it will be a fulfillment and happiness that will be based on HIM that doesn’t fade.

Kevin, my charge to you, as the husband, and the Biblical head of your household is this:

Discover how to be a servant leader to Cydney, and one day to your children.

Fight to become the Christ-centered shepherd/pastor of the little flock that the Lord entrusts you with.

Be the one who is most concerned with providing your family with fertile soil in which to grow in the Lord - making biblical community, worship, and service a priority and not an afterthought.

Spend the rest of your life trying to find out how you can better love your bride and elevate her.

At the end of the day, the buck stops with you.

When the Lord wants answers about the spiritual condition of your family, He will come to you - not Cydney.

This is a heavy load to carry, and dare I say, and impossible load to carry on your own.

You will need to rely on the strength of the Lord, and the fellowship of Christian community which will empower you to glorify Him in this role.

Cydney, my charge to you, as the wife is this:

You are becoming Kevin’s biblical helper as we read in Ephesians 5.

You will be the most uniquely gifted person on the planet to help Kevin as he seeks to live out the will of the Lord.

Kevin’s leadership is designed to operate at its best when you are functioning as his biggest supporter, advisor, counselor, lover, and friend.

Resist the temptation to get out in front of his leadership but also fight the urge to stay quiet when you know you need to speak up - but do so with respect and love.

While the Lord comes to Kevin to get answers about the Spiritual condition of your family, He holds you accountable for being the best helper you can be - and thus bring glory and honor to God.

Guard Kevin’s heart and lean on the Lord to give you the wisdom required to fulfill your calling as his bride.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Now we come to the fun part…

By the power entrusted to me by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I now pronounce you, husband and wife, Kevin you may kiss your bride.

PRESENTATION OF THE BRIDE AND GROOM **Audience Stands**

Would you please stand - May I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Kevin Malcolm

INVITATION TO RECEPTION

On behalf of Kevin and Cydney, I want to invite everyone to a reception immediately following

If you are immediate family, I would ask that you remain here for pictures when everyone else dismisses

Thank you again, you are dismissed.