A Few Good Rules
Notes
Transcript
Few Good Rules
Few Good Rules
Every good marriage has a few good rule.
Put the toilet seat down.
Dirty socks go in the hamper
Sara fills the trash, I take it out.
We stack the firewood together when it’s delivered, I bring it up on the deck, bring it in the house, whoever is up first builds the fire.
Used to be she’d set up the coffee the night before. But when she had knee-surgery, I got in the habit, so I do it about half the time now.
She does the cooking, I help clean.
These are the kinds of rules we go by in our house. If one of us doesn’t, it creates a little friction.
These little things make the relationship go smoothly.
There are some big things, too. We don’t have many big rules, but the few we have are important. You might recognize these as some of the big 10.
Keep Jesus the center of your life and our marriage.
No adultery, murder, or thievery.
These work for all of us, our relationship w/ ea other and among the rest of us..
I’m not going to wish I had your stuff and you shouldn’t wish you had mine.
The point is, the relationships we have, not rules we keep.
Relationships have to be the priority, not the rules.
A few good rules help make the relationships go smoothly. But, too many rules, and if they become the priority, they become a problem.
Maybe you’ve heard this:
Rules w/out a relationship lead to rebellion.
Families, churches and businesses have all found this t/b true.
If we don’t maintain a close relationship w/ out children, but just impose rules, we will lose them. They will rebel.
Employees and church members the same.
Then, there’s this:
A relationship w/out rules will lead to ruin.
Every good relationship has a few good rules.
Human nature needs some boundaries.
Relationships are motivating. Rule are manipulating.
My relationship w/ Sara, w/ all of you, motivates me to be better.
B/C I love her, love you, I want to be the best me I can be. So I do the things that lead me to be the best and avoid the things that hurt me.
Rules manipulate. My rules manipulate you to do what I think is best. They may not be best for you. I don’t know you well enough. But if I can get you to obey my rules, then we’ll be okay.
But you don’t need nor want my rules. So, you resent me.
Kids resent their parents.
Employees resent their bosses.
Church members resent their leaders.
All b/c, all the rules are enforced, but not all the rules are necessary. And it’s different for each one.
It would require a relationship to know the differences and apply them appropriately.
That’s what we have w/ Jesus. A relationship w/ a Savior who knows us personally, and helps us apply the few rules we need, differently, but appropriately.
A few good rules help make good relationships go. But too many bad rules make good people go away.
Relationships matter more than rules.
Paul just finished writing about how faith does more than save us. Once we come to faith we don’t just bide our time waiting to get to heaven. Nor, do we take over control and work for what God offers.
Faith saves us. We have already been raised from the dead. And faith affects us daily.
Relationships are based on faith. Sara has to have faith that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing for the good of our relationship.
She can have all the rules she wants to. But she won’t rest. B/c rules don’t make me better, our relationship does.
And our relationship is based on faith. And faith effects us daily. Just like our relationship w/ Jesus.
All rules do are exclude good ppl from being part of what we’re doing.
Rules Exclude
Rules Exclude
Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day. These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ.
Again, students of the bible, where you see the word, ‘therefore’, ...
It ties the previous to the next passage.
B/C we have faith, and faith does more than save us when we die, it works for us every day, then we don’t need rules like this.
Faith is the basis for relationships. And relationship include ppl.
Rules are reasons to exclude ppl. That’s how they were using the rules here.
There were those in the Colossian church who were trying to take them back to their Jewish roots.
Rules for eating and drinking had to do w/ the kosher laws.
Then, he referenced their annual festivals, like the feast of weeks, Passover.
Monthly celebrations and weekly Sabbath days.
The intent was, during the OT days, if ppl did not participate in these events then they were not part of God’s ppl. Then, if they were not part of God’s ppl, then they are not part of us.
Exclude them. Don’t let them in.
This is what was judged. The ppl thought they could judge if a person had fellowship w/ God by judging whether or not they participated obediently in these events.
And if it was judged they didn’t have fellowship w/ God, then they couldn’t have fellowship w/ us.
But, these are the NT times. We live under a new covenant.
In your OT, so much of the first 5 books, called the Pentateuch, the law, is made up of worship rules.
From the design of the furniture, the layout of the temple, and the proper way to make the necessary sacrifices. There were animal sacrifices and grain sacrifices to be done in specific ways for specific reasons.
Bulls, lambs, goats, grains. The details. How much. When. Why. all of it is listed in your OT.
Why don’t we do any of that any more? Why is it we can design our furniture the way we want to? And why can we decorate our church the way we want to?
B/C, every detail about worship in the OT pointed to Jesus.
Jesus is the fulfillment of the entire OT.
The OT is important for us to know and understand b/c it teaches us a lot about Jesus.
But now, b/c we have Jesus, we don’t need to slaughter a bull, or a lamb, or let a goat go into the forest annually.
Jesus’s death on the cross accomplished all of that.
Christianity is the fulfillment of Judaism.
All of those aspect of the temple and worship in the OT are mere, 2-dimensional, poorly defined, shadows of the real thing.
Jesus is the real thing. We have the real thing. We don’t need the shadows. The shadows came w/ rules for how to interact w/ them.
We have a relationship for how to interact w/ Jesus. We don’t need those rules.
Jesus was victorious over the rites and rules.
We recently studied Acts 10 in our Wed night study. That’s where Peter’s dream is described where God revealed to him and all the Jews that the kosher food laws no longer applied.
A Jew and a non-Jew would never sit down at a table and eat together. Non-Jews would serve bacon, pork chops, lobster.
Jews couldn’t eat those things. It violated their rules. It would have broken their fellowship w/ God, damaged their relationship.
Therefore, it would break their relationship w/ the ppl who worked at keeping these rules.
But, the rules no longer apply. They had to end to fulfill the prophecy that ppl from all over the world, all countries, cultures, and backgrounds, would come and be part of God’s ppl.
Those rules kept ppl separate, excluded. But now, we are unified. One body. Jesus is the head. Different parts of the same organization w/ few rules we all obey. And different rules different ppl need to obey.
No uniform rules. All uniform in a relationship w/ the real thing.
But there were ppl in this church who tried to take them back and they used these rules as barriers that prevented many good ppl from participating.
Jesus tore down those barriers. Now, anyone can come in and worship w/ us. Everyone can.
As long as you are here to humbly worship w/ us and not arrogantly take us in a different direction, you are welcome.
Don’t try to change us. Join us and let Jesus change you.
We all let Jesus change us.
Our job is to get everyone to Jesus and let him handle whatever may need to change in a person’s life.
We don’t need to change them before they come in. Or, pressure them, try to manipulate them to look like us or act like us before they come to Jesus.
Jesus is the real thing. He is the Head of His body, us.
Faith connects us. And faith keeps us close.
Why is it so important to stay close, to keep the connection strong? B/C, a strong connection in relationship to Jesus maximized everything He brings to the relationship.
Maximized Benefits
Maximized Benefits
Do not let anyone who delights in false humility and the worship of angels disqualify you. Such a person also goes into great detail about what they have seen; they are puffed up with idle notions by their unspiritual mind. They have lost connection with the head, from whom the whole body, supported and held together by its ligaments and sinews, grows as God causes it to grow.
Everyone is welcome who is genuinely humble, wanting to worship God w/ us.
Those who come in to change what we’re doing, who feign humility, divide us, and drive us away from Jesus.
In this case, b/c this group was not getting what they expected or wanted from Jesus, they sought it from angels.
If you’re not getting what you expect, you have to do one of two things. Either, go somewhere else to get it. Or, change your expectations.
They were not about to change what they expected of God.
Since the rules excluded ppl, either ppl excluded themselves by trying to keep the rules and use them to get closer to God. Or, ppl were excluded from participating by those who did b/c they didn’t keep the rules.
Either way, a group of good ppl were being excluded.
This group was said by Paul to be DQ’d. What does that mean?
It doesn’t mean, necessarily, that they lost their salvation. If they were saved in the first place, if they had faith, then they still did.
But it DQ’d them or limited them from experiencing the full affect of all the fruit and blessings that Jesus offers those of us who do believe.
Just like any relationship, the farther apart we are, the less we’ll get from each other.
My kids are always my kids. They never will not be. But, if they choose to jump off the deep end, go crazy, become addicted to something, they will lose some of what Sara and I offer them.
That simple.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.
We have all this. The HS brought it w/ Him when He moved in. Whatever part of this we don’t have, we have complete access and availability just by asking.
But, we have to remain close. When we remain closely connected all this and its potential is available to us.
If we keep our distance from God, still believing, still w/ faith, just not doing the relational things req’d to keep us close, then we lose the maximum potential of these things.
Need more wisdom? Ask. But make sure you are as close to Jesus as you can be.
Need more self-control? It’s w/in you. But to access it remain close.
Need more patience? Power? Peace? Joy?
It’s all w/in you. But access to it depends on how hard you are working on the rel you have w/ Jesus.
How is your communication w/ Him? Prayer is the churchy word. Are you conversing w/ Jesus on a regular basis?
What if you talked to your spouse the same amount you talked to Jesus? How would your relationship be?
What if all you did was ask for stuff?
Do you ever compliment Jesus? Praise Him?
Do you ever thank Him for what He’s already done?
Commitment, priority. What comes first. What in your life do you give a greater quantity and quality of time to?
If I made our trivia team a higher priority than Sara, how would that work out for my marriage?
My golf buddies. All good things. But Sara is my priority. And Jesus is my priority ahead of her.
All the verses and passages in the OT about how Israel was supposed to worship and there is little written in the NT about how to worship.
That’s b/c it’s relational. Do what you need to do, to have the relationship you need to have w/ Jesus.
Our worship comes down to 3 things.
The Word of God. Preached, prayed, practiced, and sung.
Communication. Individually said and corp.’ly sung.
Service. We serve ea other.
The how’s vary from church to church.
Liturgies recited.
Hymns sung from a hymnal.
Charismatic utterances.
We have our rites and rituals. We baptize. We do communion. But they point us to Jesus and represent Him to us.
Ultimately, it all comes down to the relationship we have w/ Jesus. B/C He loves us. B/C we love Him. We try harder.
The relationship is motivating. We want to do better for Him b/c he is doing so much for us. We’re not trying to earn more. We just want to hold up our end of the relationship.
The relationship motivates us. Rules try to manipulate us.
They don’t work to make us better or draw us closer.
Relationship Matters
Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules: “Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”? These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.
Since, not ‘if’. One of those conditional statements that isn’t really a condition. Since you’re saved. Since you have faith.
There’s no question that maybe you don’t or maybe you could lose it. You can’t.
Since you have faith, why now do you try to work your way closer to Jesus?
Why try to obey rules? A few good ones are necessary.
Adultery, murder, thievery. Good. These wreck relationships.
Addiction and places we can go or things we can do that hurt us.
But these rules in this passage are pointless. They actually only cause more problems than the solve.
Some think living by these rules makes them look more spiritual. Fake news. Fake spirituality.
Having a closer relationship w/ Jesus is real spirituality.
Rules-keepers are good a veneer and facades.
In Mt. 15, the rules police confronted Jesus that His disciples didn’t keep what they thought was a very important spiritual rule.
They didn’t was their hands before they ate.
The thinking was, hand-washing washed away your sins and made you right w/ God.
Jesus’s reply was, No you dummies. Germs. It washes away the germs and keeps you from getting sick.
Okay, so neither, really. Germs weren’t discovered for another 1600 years.
What Jesus did reply w/ was they used an obscure rule to justify their behavior of not caring for their elderly parents.
They would declare that their money was dedicated to God b/c their lives were dedicated to God. Therefore, they spent their money on themselves and not caring for their parents.
Jesus busted them b/c one of the big 10 is caring for your parents. The relationship w/ them is more important than your comfort.
Rules-keepers use rules to justify their own mis-behavior.
Paul recounted an experience from his own life in Romans 7 and 8.
He had been a wealthy Pharisee until he met Jesus. He willingly gave it all up to follow Him.
But, on a human level, all his old buddies still had their wealth.
He struggled w/ coveting what they had. He used to have it.
He fell back into old habits. The law says, “Don’t covet.” So, he concentrated on not coveting.
“Don’t covet. Don’t covet...”
At the end of the day, all he had done is covet b/c that’s all he thought about. The negative.
As he grew in his faith, he discovered the positive of his relationship w/ Jesus did more for him in this way than the rule ever did.
Positively, he focused on his relationship w/ Jesus. He did the relational things all day that were good for his connection w/ Jesus.
He realized, at the end of the day, he hadn’t coveted at all.
Relationships motivate us to be better. Rules manipulate us to appear better than we really are.
And all God cares about is who we really are.
We need a few, but not many. We need the grace to apply what we need to apply that keeps us close to Jesus.
Your walk will look different than everyone else’s. Jesus knows you well enough to help you do what you need to do and help you not worry about what you don’t need to do.
A few good rules keep us going. Too many bad rules keep good ppl away.
You keep the rules you need. I’ll keep the rules I need and we’ll worship well together.
Applications
Applications
Communication skills
Communication skills
How are your communication skills?
They are learned. Often times by trial and error.
Every good relationship is kept close by communicating honestly and often.
Keep Jesus close. Let Him do most the talking. He is God.
Fruit
Fruit
How’s your fruit?
Need more patience? Power? Wisdom? Self-control? Peace.
It’s available. If you need more, then make Jesus a higher priority.
More time. Better time. Do the relational things you know you need to do.
Bad Habit
Bad Habit
If you’ve got a bad habit you’re trying to beat, stop focusing so much on the negative.
Don’t do this. Don’t do this. Don’t do this.
Focus on the positive. Whatever the positive is, focus on it. Focus on what the positive does for an important relationship to you.
If you drink too much, it hurts your marriage. Focus on doing sober, what you don’t do when you’re drunk.
If you gossip too much. If you fantasize about other women. If you fantasize about owning stuff you don’t have and can’t afford.
Focus on the positives.
Don’t focus on gossip. Focus on what builds the ppl up that you’ve been tearing down w/ your words.
Don’t focus on other women. Focus on the beauty that God gave you in your wife.
Don’t focus on what you don’t have. Focus on appreciating what you do.
Rules manipulate. My rules manipulate you to do what I think is best. They may not be best for you. I don’t know you well enough. But if I can get you to obey my rules, then we’ll be okay.
But you don’t need nor want my rules. So, you resent me.
Kids resent their parents.
Employees resent their bosses.
Church members resent their leaders.
All b/c, all the rules are enforced, but not all the rules are necessary. And it’s different for each one.
It would require a relationship to know the differences and apply them appropriately.
That’s what we have w/ Jesus. A relationship w/ a Savior who knows us personally, and helps us apply the few rules we need, differently, but appropriately.
A few good rules help make good relationships go. But too many bad rules make good people go away.
Relationships matter more than rules.