LOVE LIKE THAT: Approachable

Good Morning!

If you are joining us for the first time this morning, we are in the middle of a series called Love Like That.

We are on a quest to LOVE LIKE JESUS.

We want our relationships to be healthy, not just in our family, but all of our relationships…work, school, even with strangers, maybe even with enemies?

Crazy, right?

But I want to LOVE LIKE THAT.

I want my life and behavior to model that of Jesus.

And so do you.

Our theme passage for this series is:

Ephesians 5:1–2 The Message

1 Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. 2 Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.

Today, we’re going to look at just how profoundly “approachable” Jesus was.

So, let me ask you a question:

What would you be willing to do to be included?

Included in anything?

A game, a competition, a party?

Everyone has had an experience similar to this: You’re in elementary school, and your friends are choosing teams for a pick-up basketball game.

You feel the pressure as all of your friends are chosen, but you aren’t.

You can change the age, the situation, the game, but the feeling of rejection and not belonging will linger for a long, long time.

Why is that?

God created us with a drive to be connected.

Often times we call this “fellowship” within the church.

We long to belong and be included.

Could it be that this is the reason Jesus Christ, King of kings, and Creator of all things is so approachable?

Jesus was the most approachable person who ever lived.

Social status, a healthy financial report, race, religion, gender made no difference to Him.

This morning we are going to look at some characteristics of being approachable and then talk about what that means for us.

1. BEING APPROACHABLE IS A LOST SKILL.

I say “skill” but it really isn’t a skill, it’s a decision.

A decision that says, come to me…you have access…you’re on the invite list.

I have found that Matthew 11:28- 29 is a great equalizer passage, mainly because Jesus emphasizes the word ALL.

Matthew 11:28–29 CSB

28 “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

It was the leper, the tax-collector, the sinner, the hurting, the disenfranchised that got Jesus’ special attention.

Which made all the religious people of the day furious.

People tended to keep the “holy men” of the day at a distance.

But not so with Jesus.

Everyone could approach him…rich or poor, schooled or unschooled, healthy or sick.

“John Wesley is my homeboy”

We have learned to put both others and ourselves up on a pedestal.

What I loved about the shirt is that it equalized students with a great theologian.

It taught them that no one person, no matter how great their contribution to society, is no better than another.

2. BEING APPROACHABLE MEANS LOVING THE REJECTED.

Consider Matthew, one of those disgusting tax-collectors…like Zacchaeus.

Matthew 9:9–13 CSB

9 As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax office, and he said to him, “Follow me,” and he got up and followed him. 10 While he was reclining at the table in the house, many tax collectors and sinners came to eat with Jesus and his disciples. 11 When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” 12 Now when he heard this, he said, “It is not those who are well who need a doctor, but those who are sick. 13 Go and learn what this means: I desire mercy and not sacrifice. For I didn’t come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

In Jesus’ day, tax collectors would add on extra charges to the people in their region and put it right in their own pockets.

They would also send out Roman soldiers to beat up anybody who didn’t pay.

This is precisely why the Jews hated the tax collectors.

Usually, these tax collectors were sleazy, greedy, despicable persons.

Quite worthy of the disgust people had for them.

We don’t know what Jesus saw in Matthew, but He saw something.

He simply approaches the tax collecting booth and said two words: “Follow me.”

And he did.

No doubt Matthew was taken back that Jesus, famous Jesus, holy man Jesus, not only gave him the time of day, but actually requested that he leave everything and become a follower.

Boy did Jesus face ridicule from the religious types.

But being approachable sometimes means facing the rejection of others for the sake of reaching the rejected of man.

It means that we join in the rejections of others.

Jesus made a point to love those that were thought of as lesser and so should we.

3. BEING APPROACHABLE IS RISKY TO YOUR REPUTATION.

Consider how Jesus treated the “sinful woman.”

Luke 7:36-50

Luke 7:36–50 CSB

36 Then one of the Pharisees invited him to eat with him. He entered the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. 37 And a woman in the town who was a sinner found out that Jesus was reclining at the table in the Pharisee’s house. She brought an alabaster jar of perfume 38 and stood behind him at his feet, weeping, and began to wash his feet with her tears. She wiped his feet with her hair, kissing them and anointing them with the perfume. 39 When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “This man, if he were a prophet, would know who and what kind of woman this is who is touching him—she’s a sinner!” 40 Jesus replied to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” He said, “Say it, teacher.” 41 “A creditor had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42 Since they could not pay it back, he graciously forgave them both. So, which of them will love him more?” 43 Simon answered, “I suppose the one he forgave more.” “You have judged correctly,” he told him. 44 Turning to the woman, he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she, with her tears, has washed my feet and wiped them with her hair. 45 You gave me no kiss, but she hasn’t stopped kissing my feet since I came in. 46 You didn’t anoint my head with olive oil, but she has anointed my feet with perfume. 47 Therefore I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven; that’s why she loved much. But the one who is forgiven little, loves little.” 48 Then he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” 49 Those who were at the table with him began to say among themselves, “Who is this man who even forgives sins?” 50 And he said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.”

Jesus was very approachable, to all classes of people.

We don’t know who the woman was in this story, but we do know she treated Jesus with respect.

She anointed Jesus with expensive oil and her tears of gratefulness.

The Pharisees believed that if they touched the clothing of the common people, they were corrupted.

For that reason, when they walked the streets, they walked on the sides, so that they wouldn’t be tarnished by the touch of ordinary people.

They assumed that Christ should have had the same dislike for this woman that they had and that He should snub her.

He did not.

EVERYONE had access to Jesus.

If we are going to be approachable, people’s value as image-bearers of God has to be of more value to us than our reputation.

WHAT KEEPS US FROM BEING APPROACHABLE?

The biggie is PRIDE.

I heard this story recently...

The lion was proud of his mastery of the animal kingdom. One day he decided to make sure all the other animals knew he was the king of the jungle. He was so confident that he by-passed the smaller animals and went straight to the bear. "Who is the king of the jungle?" the lion asked. The bear replied, "Why you are, of course." The lion gave a mighty roar of approval.

Next, he asked the tiger, “Who is the king of the jungle?" The tiger quickly responded, "Everyone knows that you are, mighty lion." Next on the list was the elephant. The lion faced the elephant and addressed his question, "Who is the king of the jungle?” The elephant immediately grabbed the lion with his trunk, whirled him around in the air five or six times, and slammed him into a tree. Then he pounded him on the ground several times, dunked him under water in a nearby lake, and finally dumped him out on the shore. The lion— beaten, bruised, and battered—struggled to his feet. He looked at the elephant through sad and bloody eyes and said, "Look, just because you don’t know the answer is no reason for you to get mean about it!"

1 Peter 5:5–6 CSB

5 In the same way, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. All of you clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. 6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you at the proper time,

Luke 18:10–14 CSB

10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee was standing and praying like this about himself: ‘God, I thank you that I’m not like other people—greedy, unrighteous, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of everything I get.’ 13 “But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even raise his eyes to heaven but kept striking his chest and saying, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this one went down to his house justified rather than the other, because everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

The definition of pride is to exalt or boast in one’s self.

But it is more complicated than that.

This is a clear example of pride for sure.

But pride is not always clear.

Sometimes it masks itself in other ways.

It causes you to think more of yourself than reality justifies.

In this passage in Luke, there is this wonderfully righteous guy.

He keeps the law.

He does what he is supposed to do.

Yet his heart isn’t as right as his actions seem to be.

There is so much pride in this man’s heart that his prayers to God are insulting to the very people that God loves.

This man thinks he is so good because he kept all the rules.

He thinks he is so righteous that he misses out on what prayer is and he misses a chance to connect with God because he thinks too highly of himself.

Look at how the tax collector prays.

His prayer is simple.

It is genuine and real.

This tax collector, for everything he is not, is a much better man than this religious leader whose pride has made his right actions meaningless.

Pride comes when we exalt ourselves, and those who exalt themselves will be humbled.

There is no easy way to learn the lesson of humility.

There is no gentle teaching to show us how to do it.

It seems the only way that we are capable of learning to be humble is by suffering the terrible consequences of our pride.

We get upset, frustrated, and hurt by things that happen to us while blaming everyone else for our problems.

Breaking down pride means you may have to undergo a series of frustrating or humiliating events so that you may learn humility.

If you blame others for your problems, then you’re not fixing the underlying issue that causes those problems.

Pride is the love of oneself.

It comes when we believe in our own ability to the degree that we fail to recognize the grace of God.

All sins root themselves in pride.

C.S Lewis says that compared to pride all other sins (greed, drunkenness, and the like) are mere flea-bites.

He says that every vice comes from pride, and that pride is that “anti-God” state of mind.

WHAT JESUS TAUGHT US ABOUT BEING APPROACHABLE

The Prodigal Son:

Luke 15:11-32

Luke 15:11–32 CSB

11 He also said, “A man had two sons. 12 The younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of the estate I have coming to me.’ So he distributed the assets to them. 13 Not many days later, the younger son gathered together all he had and traveled to a distant country, where he squandered his estate in foolish living. 14 After he had spent everything, a severe famine struck that country, and he had nothing. 15 Then he went to work for one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to eat his fill from the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one would give him anything. 17 When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired workers have more than enough food, and here I am dying of hunger! 18 I’ll get up, go to my father, and say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. 19 I’m no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired workers.” ’ 20 So he got up and went to his father. But while the son was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion. He ran, threw his arms around his neck, and kissed him. 21 The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. I’m no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 “But the father told his servants, ‘Quick! Bring out the best robe and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Then bring the fattened calf and slaughter it, and let’s celebrate with a feast, 24 because this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!’ So they began to celebrate. 25 “Now his older son was in the field; as he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he summoned one of the servants, questioning what these things meant. 27 ‘Your brother is here,’ he told him, ‘and your father has slaughtered the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’ 28 “Then he became angry and didn’t want to go in. So his father came out and pleaded with him. 29 But he replied to his father, ‘Look, I have been slaving many years for you, and I have never disobeyed your orders, yet you never gave me a goat so that I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your assets with prostitutes, you slaughtered the fattened calf for him.’ 31 “ ‘Son,’ he said to him, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ ”

Do you notice there is no evidence of a hard attitude on the part of the father toward the prodigal son?

The father’s love was unconditional and full of compassion.

Had he not been approachable, he might have demanded some type of penance from the son and would probably have given him a lecture about righteous living.

Worse yet, he might have even discouraged the son from coming home at all.

But the father never made any such threats.

Instead, he waited and watched patiently with great hope that his son would someday come home.

Then, one day, when he saw in the distance that the son was actually coming, he ran to hug him.

There were no lectures or demands for penance.

There was no judgmental attitude.

Instead, the father was thrilled beyond measure.

In fact, he was so thrilled that he wrapped him in an expensive robe and put an expensive ring on his finger.

Then he killed the fatted calf which he had been saving for a special occasion and prepared a huge feast featuring music and joyful dancing to celebrate the son’s return.

The patient and compassionate attitude displayed by the father toward the sinful lifestyle of the prodigal son seems very different from the attitude displayed by the church towards people.

The father did not condemn his son, but rather took a compassionate and loving attitude toward him.

He never gave up hope that one day the son would return.

SO WHAT?

Consider this passage:

Luke 6:27–36 CSB

27 “But I say to you who listen: Love your enemies, do what is good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If anyone hits you on the cheek, offer the other also. And if anyone takes away your coat, don’t hold back your shirt either. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and from someone who takes your things, don’t ask for them back. 31 Just as you want others to do for you, do the same for them. 32 If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 If you do what is good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do what is good, and lend, expecting nothing in return. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High. For he is gracious to the ungrateful and evil. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.

Love your enemies and do good to them.

Crazy talk. Right?

Is there anything more difficult than to love our enemies?

I don’t think so.

The truth is that it is impossible to love your enemies, in fact, that is the core of so much of our series.

We don’t have the capacity or the “stuff” to do this by ourselves.

In the story of the rich young ruler, Jesus said what is impossible with men is possible with God.

Just as He can change the heart of the rich, He can change the heart of bitterness, if we desire it to be changed.

But when we find satisfaction in hating our enemies and we grow to enjoy that hatred, the less likely we are to desire our heart to love our enemies.

Just like it is impossible for light and darkness to exist together, it is impossible to love those we hate.

What can we do then?

We can forgive them.

Once we forgive, we can love anyone.

Back to Luke 6…

If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?

Even sinners love those who love them.

Notice He asks the same question several times.

‘What credit is it to you that you do the same thing sinners do?’

Sinners only love those who love them.

They only do good to those who do good to them.

They only respect those who respect them.

They only help those who help them.

They only give to those who give to them.

They only share with those who share with them.

Jesus is asking how are you any different than anyone else if your condition for love is that someone else must love you first?

Solomon wrote in Proverbs 25: 21

Proverbs 25:21 CSB

21 If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink,

We bless our enemies by doing good to them.

Jesus says to “do good to those who hate you.”

His point is that their ill-will toward you shouldn’t cause you to have ill-will toward them.

They could do a thousand wrongs, and you will continue to do a thousand rights to them.

Because once you realize that Jesus’ own love has covered a multitude of your sins, it is easy to allow your love to cover a multitude of sins in others.

Pray for our enemies.

We should not only pray for our enemies, but we should also pray that God would give us the ability to love them because we cannot do it.

We pray that God would help us forgive them because we cannot do it.

Here are some ideas to help…

1. DO SOMETHING OUTRAGEOUS

Remember that Ephesians 5:2 describes Jesus’ love for us as extravagant, not cautious.

So, if we’re to ever love like Jesus, we have to push pride to the side and humble our hearts.

That’s a given.

But Jesus takes it a step further.

Jesus says that if we are to be truly approachable, we must do something outrageous.

He says we must love our enemies.

He says it flat out: “I tell you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44)

Ask God to show you how to love your enemies and do good to them!

2. WHAT DO YOU WANT PEOPLE TO DO FOR YOU? THEN YOU DO IT FOR THEM.

When we love like Jesus, feelings of superiority fade, and our days are punctuated with spontaneous breathings of compassion, generosity of spirit, and kindness.

We become accessible to anyone who feels left out or unwanted.

When we love like Jesus, we love without exclusion - we even love our enemies.

If you are struggling with loving someone, take the time to put yourself in their shoes.

Consider their lives, look at it closely, be mindful, and ask God to show you how to love them and do good to them.

All of us want to love like Jesus.

We regularly discuss how blessed we are to be loved and forgiven by him.

Consider the grace that has been bestowed upon you by Jesus and love like that.