Genesis 24.64-67-Principles on Marriage Taken From Isaac and Rebekah's Marriage

Thursday April 27, 2006

Genesis: Genesis 24:64-67-Spiritual Principles from Isaac and Rebekah’s Marriage

Lesson # 135

Please turn in your Bibles to Genesis 24:62.

This evening we will study principles for Christian marriage that can be extrapolated from the study of Rebekah and Isaac’s marriage, which is recorded in Genesis 24:64-67.

Genesis 24:62, “Now Isaac had come from going to Beer-lahai-roi; for he was living in the Negev.”

Genesis 24:63, “Isaac went out to meditate in the field toward evening; and he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, camels were coming.”

Genesis 24:64, “Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac she dismounted from the camel.”

Genesis 24:65, “She said to the servant, ‘Who is that man walking in the field to meet us?’ And the servant said, ‘He is my master.’ Then she took her veil and covered herself.”

Genesis 24:66, “The servant told Isaac all the things that he had done.”

Genesis 24:67, “Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and he took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her; thus Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.”

For those of us who are not married or who are and have children who must face this choice, a number of principles can be extrapolated from this story of the selec¬tion of a wife for Isaac.

First, for a Christian, a godly or spiritual mate should be sought only when it is certain that mar¬riage will achieve the purposes God has for our lives.

Isaac needed a wife because he must become a husband and father to fulfill his part in the outwork¬ing of the Abrahamic covenant.

While it is the norm for men to marry, let us not forget that the Bible informs us that it is sometimes God’s purpose to keep some of His servants single as illustrated by the apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:8-24.

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul is addressing definite questions about marriage and is not attempting to present the complete doctrine on marriage.

He addresses three different groups of believers in this chapter.

1 Corinthians 7:1-11 addresses the first group who are Christians married to Christians and their question was, “Is celibacy more spiritual than marriage, is it ok to be celibate?”

1 Corinthians 7:1, “Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.”

1 Corinthians 7:2, “But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband.”

The phrase “because of immoralities” reveals one of the purposes of marriage.

The phrase “each man is to have his own wife, each woman is to have her own husband” prohibits homosexual marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:3, “The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.”

1 Corinthians 7:4, “The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”

1 Corinthians 7:5, “Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

The prohibition, “stop depriving one another” teaches that sex is not to be used as a weapon.

1 Corinthians 7:6, “But this I say by way of concession, not of command.”

This passage means that celibacy is permitted but not commanded.

1 Corinthians 7:7, “Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.”

1 Corinthians 7:8, “But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I.”

1 Corinthians 7:9, “But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

In 1 Corinthians 7:8-9, Paul addresses briefly unmarried Christians and is applying the teaching of 1 Corinthians 7:1, if you cannot control yourself, don’t fornicate, but marry.

1 Corinthians 7:10, “But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband.”

1 Corinthians 7:11, “(but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.”

1 Corinthians 7:10-11 addresses the topic of divorce.

1 Corinthians 7:12-24 addresses the second group in Corinth who were Christians married to unbelievers and their question is, “Must Christians remain married to the unsaved partner, does our conversion alter things?

1 Corinthians 7:12, “But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.”

Paul is not disclaiming divine inspiration by saying “I say, not the Lord” but rather he is referring to what Jesus taught when He was on earth (See Matthew 5:31-32; 19:1-12; Mark 10:1-12; Luke 16:18).

Paul had to answer questions that Jesus never discussed but when a question arose that the Lord dealt with, Paul referred to His words.

1 Corinthians 7:13, “And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.”

1 Corinthians 7:14, “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.”

The term “sanctified” means that the believer exerts a spiritual influence in the home that can lead to salvation of the lost partner.

1 Corinthians 7:15, “Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.”

1 Corinthians 7:16, “For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?”

1 Corinthians 7:17, “Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches.”

1 Corinthians 7:18, “Was any man called when he was already circumcised? He is not to become uncircumcised. Has anyone been called in uncircumcision? He is not to be circumcised.”

1 Corinthians 7:19, “Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but what matters is the keeping of the commandments of God.”

1 Corinthians 7:20, “Each man must remain in that condition in which he was called.”

1 Corinthians 7:18-20 teaches that Gentiles who are uncircumcised should not seek to be Jews since there are no racial distinctions during the church age according to 1 Corinthians 12:13 and Galatians 3:26-28.

Salvation does not change your marriage state.

1 Corinthians 7:21, “Were you called while a slave? Do not worry about it; but if you are able also to become free, rather do that.”

1 Corinthians 7:22, “For he who was called in the Lord while a slave, is the Lord's freedman; likewise he who was called while free, is Christ's slave.”

1 Corinthians 7:23, “You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men.”

1 Corinthians 7:24, “Brethren, each one is to remain with God in that condition in which he was called.”

1 Corinthians 7:25-40 addresses the third group in Corinth who were unmarried Christians and their question was, “must a Christian get married, what about the unmarried women in the church who are not getting any younger (see 1 Corinthians 7:36)?”

In this passage Paul taught the unmarried Christians to consider several factors.

The first is contained in 1 Corinthians 7:25-31, namely, the impending crisis in Corinth.

1 Corinthians 7:25, “Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy.”

1 Corinthians 7:26, “I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is.”

“Present distress” refers to impending persecution.

1 Corinthians 7:27, “Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife.”

1 Corinthians 7:28, “But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you.”

1 Corinthians 7:29, “But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none.”

1 Corinthians 7:30, “and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess.”

1 Corinthians 7:31, “and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away.”

The second factor Paul wanted the unmarried Corinthians to consider was to face the responsibilities and tribulations that go with marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:32, “But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord.”

1 Corinthians 7:33-34, “but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.”

1 Corinthians 7:35, “This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.”

The third factor that Paul wanted the unmarried to consider was that each situation is unique.

1 Corinthians 7:36, “But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry.”

“She is past her youth” means that the girl is getting older and the danger for her is that she might rush into marriage to avoid becoming a “spinster.”

Better to live in single loneliness than in married cussedness!

1 Corinthians 7:37, “But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well.”

1 Corinthians 7:38, “So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.”

The last factor Paul wanted the unmarried to consider is that marriage is for life.

1 Corinthians 7:39, “A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.”

1 Corinthians 7:40, “But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God.”

In summary, each person must ask himself or herself the following questions if marriage is being contemplated: (1) What is my gift from God? (2) Am I marrying a believer? (3) Are the circumstances such that marriage is right? (4) How will marriage affect my service for Christ? (5) Am I prepared to enter this union for life?

So marriage should only be sought for those who will achieve God’s purpose by having a mate and, perhaps, a family.

Second, if we would have a godly mate we must wait for God’s time.

Too many times I have seen Christian men and women marrying hastily, fearing that the time for marriage was quickly passing them by, eventually married to unbe¬lievers or uncommitted Christians because they concluded that anyone was better than no one.

Remember, Isaac was forty years old when he married, which by some standards was about ten years too late (cf. Genesis 11:14, 18, 22).

Don’t marry hastily and don’t marry from a position of weakness meaning don’t marry because of fear of being alone since that is wrong motivation for marriage.

It is well worth waiting for the mate of God’s choice.

Psalm 27:14, “Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.”

Third, if we desire a spiritual partner we must look in the right place.

Abraham instructed his servant not to look for a wife among the Canaanites since he knew that his relatives revered and respected God and that their offspring would share a common faith.

I do not know why Christians think they will find a godly mate in a singles bar or some other such place.

If we wish to marry a Christian who is serious about his relationship with God then we must go to where they are, namely, actively serving in the local church.

If God does not provide one in this way, He can certainly do so in His own sovereign way.

Fourth, if you would desire to have a spiritual mate you must seek spiritual or Christ-like qualities in the person.

Proverbs 31:10, “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.”

Did you notice that Abraham’s servant did not evaluate Rebekah on the basis of her physical appearance but if he had she would have passed with flying colors (cf. 24:16)?

To the servant beauty was a desirable thing, but it was not fundamen¬tal for the woman he sought must be one who trusted in the God of Abraham and who had maintained sexual purity.

Fundamentally, she must be a woman who mani¬fested Christian character as reflected in her response to the request for water.

This servant knew from experience and wisdom the qualities which are most important to a successful marriage.

Just being a woman who believed in the God of Abraham was not sufficient and just because one is a Christian does not make them a good candidate for marriage.

Fifth, he who would find a spiritual partner should be willing to heed the counsel of older and wiser Christians.

Did you notice how little Isaac had to do with the process of finding a wife?

If left to himself Isaac may never have found Rebekah since he might have fallen for the first pretty girl or woman to profess a faith in Jesus Christ, thinking that would be adequate but Abraham’s servant Eliezer was unwilling to settle for second rate.

Not only were Abraham and his servant a part of the process, but Rebekah’s family also had to be convinced of God’s leading.

So anyone who fails to heed the counsel of spiritually mature Christians is on the path to heartache.

Finally, he who desires a spiritual partner must be willing to put emotional feelings last.

Look again with me at Genesis 24:67: Genesis 24:67, “Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and he took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her; thus Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.”

Do you notice that personal love and affection, romance came last, not first, in this chapter?

Isaac learned to love his wife in time since for him romance came after marriage, not before it, which leads me to a principle: Romantic love is never the basis for marriage, but rather marriage is the basis for romantic love.

Here we see a good reason for a Christian making the decision never to date an unbeliever.

2 Corinthians 6:14-15, “Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?”

A Christian should carefully screen any person before he or she would even consider going out on a date with them.

Dating frequently leads to emotional involvement and physical attraction.

Romantic love is a wonderful emotional feeling, but it will never sustain a marriage and so do not put yourself in a situation where romantic love can grow until you are certain that you want it to grow.

Everything in our culture runs contrary to this principle since romantic feelings are exploited by the media and are continually set before us by them in an exciting light.

Romance is a wonderful thing, a gift from God, but let romance come last, not first, if we would find a spiritual partner.

I believe that God has a special person chosen from eternity past as a mate for those for whom He has purposed marriage.

I believe that God will surely guide us to that mate by using Scripture, prayer, counsel, wisdom, and providential intervention.

I believe that we will be able to recognize this person, convinced most of all by the fact that they have manifested Christ-like character.

Therefore, we must pray to the Father to help us to encourage our children and our friends to trust God and obey Him in the selection of a mate.

For those of who are married, pray that the Father would enable you to be the godly mate that His Word says you should be.