A Renewal of Marriage and the Family

Intro

Karen and I will celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary on May 19th!

Marriage changes you… *show mall hunt pic*

Marriage and family also represent some of the most crucial human relationships we have

We are formed by our family

Because of this, these relationships impact our relationship with God (and vice-versa)

Spiritual renewal will involve a renewal of marriage and the family

Jesus speaks to this in Matthew 19:1-15 (read starting in verse 3 and pray)

Renew Marriage

The Pharisees challenge:

“Tested” Jesus by seeking to undermine his authority or turn the crowds against him

Jesus spoke about divorce in Mat. 5 (Sermon on the Mount), so they are likely fishing for his answer

Cultural background: Divorce was being liberally applied (by men; women had few rights)

People looking for loopholes in divorce; they wanted to do what suited them

Design vs. loophole (header)

God’s original design is covenant unity (header)

Jesus asnwers the Pharisees’ question about divorce by redirecting their attention to God’s design for marriage

Quotes from Genesis 2:24 and mocks the Pharisees, “have you not read?”

Adds in statement, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (v. 6)

Hear this quoted often at weddings!

Speaks to the profound work of God in taking two people and making them one; truly a miracle and a mystery

Not just referring to the physical union, but something much deeper; at the soul level

God’s original design for marriage is a permanent covenant between two people that He completely unifies

This is best! God created us and knows how we thrive

It is also messy and difficult when this covenant relationship breaks down

No one knows the design of God better than those who have experienced this breaking *divorce disclaimer*

All of this flies in the face of those seeking loopholes for divorce

The spirit of this question is about men seeking to leave their wives to be with another… self-gratifying behaviour

Do not seek reasons to leave, fight for reasons to stay

Sin creates the necessity for divorce (header)

The Pharisees get the answer they were fishing for, and spring the trap on Jesus… if marriage is so permanent, why did Moses command divorce?

They are referencing Deuteronomy 24:1, which actually does NOT command divorce

Read passage; talks about the process of divorce, but not the reason

They believe they have caught Jesus, and undermined His teaching… not the case

Jesus explains the reason for the allowance of divorce in Deut. 24:1 = sin (hardness of heart)

God’s original design for marriage is permanence and covenant, only sinful human beings require otherwise

The type of divorce allowed for in the Old Covenant and in the teaching of Jesus is only to recognize that the OTHER party has broken the covenant, never to seek to do so yourself

As far as it is up to you, keep the covenant

Fighting for your marriage differs from the world *refer to TV shows*

This promise needs to be upheld by both parties; if someone breaks it (described here as sexual immorality), there is nothing you can do to control it

Certainly should not feel any lesser because of it; Christ-identity

Work on renewing your marriage

Preventative maintenance (header)

Beware “downward drift” in your marriage

*house repairs, couch potato, playing piano

Marriage can be like owning a car; you have to take care of it before it breaks down

*Talk about oil changes in my van*; preventative maintenance

Preventative maintenance looks like:

Go on regular date nights

Maybe even a weekend away! *Just the two of us*

Check out good resources on marriage (books, Bible studies,)

Karen and I can help you find some

Attend a conference or retreat

Marriage retreat, Marriage Night, etc.

Think about couples counselling before issues arise

Urgent repairs (header)

Sometimes things will break down, even with good preventative maintenance; repairs required

Reach out to people you trust

Including your pastor! Do this before its too late

*Firefighting analogy*

Be humble enough to seek counselling

Take time apart with the gameplan of getting back together

Especially in the case of abuse

Marriage is spiritual renewal because it reflects Christ and the church

Cf. Ephesians 5:31-32.

This is why it is worth fighting for! It reflects the greater mystery of Christ and His bride, the church

A healthy marriage helps you understand the relationship between Christ and the church

Do not let it go lightly

Renew Singleness

Marriage is tough! And it is not for everyone

Disciples can’t believe the standard Jesus set (v. 10)

Jesus uses the example of eunuchs to teach about singleness and celibacy; renew singleness

Some born, some made by men, some by choice “for the sake of the kingdom of heaven” (v. 13)

Singleness is a gift

Whether by choice or by necessity

Want to get married, but it hasn’t worked out; were married but didn’t work out; single as your priority… a gift

Church, we should NEVER glorify marriage over singleness

Both are good, both are part of God’s design, both are gifts of a different sort

Gift allows devotion to the kingdom of heaven

Cf. 1 Corinthians 7:32-35.

Singles have the unique opportunity to be focused on Christ and His mission

Go as missionaries, serve in your church, go to Bible school or a discipleship program… go!

Intimate relationships are still possible for those who are single (spiritual friendship)

Wesley Hill, “What I feared most, though, about my decision to remain celibate was that I had thereby doomed myself to lifelong loneliness”

“Without people to love and be loved by, I don't imagine faith is very sustainable.”

“The New Testament views the church rather than marriage as the primary place where human love is best expressed and experienced.”

We are a spiritual family; true friendships are formed here; connections don’t need to be romantic in order to be personal and intimate

Renew Family

Children are vital to the kingdom of God

More than just noise and work

There are days when this seems overwhelming

Parenting is a vital form of discipleship

*Share Patty’s story*

Others are part of this process, too (SS teachers, aunts/uncles, grandparents)

Children are the church of today, not just tomorrow

We love the noise of children in church at SBF

Do not view children merely as potential (what they will become), but who they are now in Christ

Our faith grows when we learn from children

Don’t suppose just to teach them!

*Malachi’s faith when his grandma got sick*

It takes “childlike faith” to enter the kingdom of heaven (v. 14)

Jesus doesn’t just invite the children to come to him, but He invites us to come to Him as children

Trusting, dependant, hopeful and content

Here we find spiritual renewal

Pray