Learning to Forgive Part 3

Intro:

As we move into part 3 of our series A New Heart we will be looking today at Learning How to Forgive. So far we have seen how unforgiveness and bitterness has the potential to ruin both peoples health and lives.

Even though there seems to be pleasure in payback, power in giving punishment to the offender, along with a sense of protection from future hurt. Yet in actuality unforgiveness opens the door to Satan to bring death. Death to the love that is in you, death to dreams or relationships, death to the tender compassion that God wants you to have for others.

Many people ruin their health and their lives by taking the poison of bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness. As we surrender unforgiveness to Jesus He instructs us through the word. Ephesians 4:31-32 “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

This morning as we look at Learning how to forgive lets define what forgiveness is. The act of forgiveness is one in which a mistake or offense is no longer considered or held against another. Where there is an intentional ceasing to feel resentment towards someone who wronged you. This includes no longer blaming or taking an offense into account.

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Submit:

As we learn to forgive we must understand that forgiveness at its core is a heart transformation.

Remember forgiveness does not mean that any wrongs done to you were acceptable.

Forgiveness does not diminish the evil done against you, nor is it a denial of what happened.

Forgiveness does not take away the consequences the person will face because of his or her sin.

Forgiveness is a key part of not letting those wrongs hurt you any longer.

Forgiveness is letting go of your desire to hurt the other person. Simply put, forgiveness means you cancel a debt.

Forgiveness is a difficult and uncomfortable process. When you make a decision to forgive, God provides the grace and strength to forgive and to maintain a heart of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not weakness. It is the most powerful thing you can do.

Forgiveness is not reconciliation. It takes two to reconcile but only one to forgive. It does not depend on the other persons actions, and its not probationary (example: I will forgive you as long as you ......)

Forgiveness does not wait for the offender to repent.

Forgiveness is about how much you trust God to take care of you.

When we choose to forgive it can seem so unfair. That the offender receives forgiveness when I am the one who had gotten hurt. Forgiveness frees us from the poison of unforgiveness, resentment, and bitterness. Paving the way for us to feel happier and better physically.

Forgiveness sets us free to move on with our life. It refuses to let the person who hurt us have any power over our life. It opens up our relationship with God. When we forgive we release God to do what only he can do.

If we are in the way trying to take revenge or take control of the situation ourselves—God has no obligation to deal with that person. However, if we trust God and choose to forgive, He will take care of the rest. The act of forgiving is our seed of obedience to His Word. Once we've sown our seed, He is faithful to bring a harvest of blessing to us one way or another.

Mark 11:22-26 “So Jesus answered and said to them, “Have faith in God. For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them. “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.””

We want our fellowship with God to flow freely! We want our prayers to be unhindered! In Matthew 5:23-24 it says, “Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”

God cares more about the condition of heart than the gift we bring. Matthew 6:8-13.

This is why in Matthew 6:8-13 when asked how to pray Jesus says, ““Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. In this manner, therefore, pray: Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, But deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.”

When we choose to walk in forgiveness our fellowship with God will flow freely. First, by removing the block of unforgiveness. Second, by keeping Satan from getting an advantage over us. 2 Corinthians 2:10-11, Ephesians 4:26-27.

2 Corinthians 2:10-11 “Now whom you forgive anything, I also forgive. For if indeed I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven that one for your sakes in the presence of Christ, lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices.”

Ephesians 4:26-27 ““Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.” We must remember that a strong of unforgiveness begins with a foothold. This morning lets refuse to give Satan any such foothold! Be quick to forgive.

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Apply:

I want to give you a few practical steps on how to forgive.

1. Decide – You will never forgive if you wait until you feel like it. Choose to obey God and steadfastly resist the devil in his attempts to poison you with bitter thoughts. Make a quality decision to forgive, and God will heal your wounded emotions in due time. Remember Ephesians 4:32 “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

Start by praying for that person. Pray for their good. Ask God to help you love them as He loves them. It’s hard to be quite as angry with someone who you are praying for on a consistent basis.

  2. Depend – You cannot forgive without the power of the Holy Spirit. It's too hard to do on your own. If you are truly willing, God will enable you, but you must humble yourself and cry out to Him for help. In John 20:22-23 “And when He had said this, He breathed on them, and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.””

Jesus breathed on the disciples and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit!" His next instruction was about forgiving people. Ask God to breathe the Holy Spirit on you so you can forgive those who've hurt you. 

3. Obey – The Word tells us several things we're to do concerning forgiving our enemies:

a. Pray for your enemies and those who abuse and misuse you. Pray for their happiness and welfare (see Luke 6:27-28). As you pray, God can give them revelation that will bring them out of deception. They may not even be aware they hurt you, or maybe they're aware but are so self-centered that they don't care. Either way, they need revelation.

b. …Bless and do not curse them (Romans 12:14). In the Greek to bless means "to speak well of" and to curse means "to speak evil of." You can't walk in forgiveness and be a gossip. You must stop repeating the offense.

Joyce Meyer said, “You can't get over it if you continue to talk about it.” Proverbs 17:9 says that he who covers an offense seeks love.

Most importantly try, try, and try again. You may not feel very forgiving the first time you pray for them, or you may find that your thoughts drift back to anger or hurt. However, don’t be discouraged. This is completely natural and can be part of the process. Think of it as building your “forgiveness muscle” – it takes time. Keep at it and, eventually, God will help you truly forgive those who have hurt you.

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Closing:

The final question today is who should you forgive?

Forgive the person who badly hurt you long ago.

Forgive the stranger who stepped on your toe in the grocery store, and ultimately everyone in-between! Learn to Forgive quickly. The quicker you do it, the easier it is. Learn to Forgive freely.

Forgive God if you are angry with Him.

because your life didn't turn out the way you thought it should. You can be assured that God is good and just. In life there will be things we don't understand. We can know that God loves us! Don’t make the mistake to be angry the only One who can truly help.

If you had a negative encounter with a business or situation where you felt cheated you can open the door to bitterness. The goal is to get rid of all bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness because unforgiveness is spiritual filthiness. Today lets choose to allow God’s word to wash away offense, hurt, and unforgiveness.

Finally, when the doubts and emotions arise about a former situation hold onto forgiveness.

Let’s Pray!

Father help us today to walk in obedience to your word. Help us to forgive.

Salvation