Saved and Confused?

1 Corinthians 7:10–40 NASB95

But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife. But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches. Was any man called when he was already circumcised? He is not to become uncircumcised. Has anyone been called in uncircumcision? He is not to be circumcised. Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but what matters is the keeping of the commandments of God. Each man must remain in that condition in which he was called. Were you called while a slave? Do not worry about it; but if you are able also to become free, rather do that. For he who was called in the Lord while a slave, is the Lord’s freedman; likewise he who was called while free, is Christ’s slave. You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men. Brethren, each one is to remain with God in that condition in which he was called. Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy. I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you. But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none; and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess; and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away. But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord. But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry. But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better. A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God.

INTRO: One Sunday morning, a fellow named Jeremy was driving down the street on his way to pick up some supplies from the hardware store- he had a growing honey-do list that he was determined to tackle. Between his home and the store were 5 churches. That was a fact largely unnoticed by Jeremy. But this Sunday, the churches all seemed to pop out at him. Bible verses on the signs, cars in the parking lot… Jeremy wondered why these people would waste a Sunday to sit in uncomfortable benches… what went on in there? By the time Jeremy reached the 5th church, his curiosity had taken him over and he pulled into the church parking lot. Slowly, he continued to the doors of the sanctuary. Music was playing, and he could hear the sounds of voices singing. This brought a smile to his face that was a mixture of amusement and intrigue. Soon enough Jeremy found himself standing in the very back doorway taking in the sight of this congregation. Finally, a man stood and opened the Bible and began telling about a God who made everything and about how this God loves His creation. Jeremy hadn’t heard this before. Who is this God?, he wondered.

Time seemed to speed up as Jeremy drank in every word from the pastor’s lips. By the time the service had ended, Jeremy was visibly moved- weeping like he had never before. A couple sitting close to the back came to him and shared with him how he could be forgiven and receive Jesus as Lord and Savior. Jeremy’s life was changed that day. He was overwhelmed with joy and suddenly realized that his plans for the day had been derailed. When he returned home, his wife was angry that he had been gone so long and wanted to hear nothing of his story about the church. Jeremy’s life was changed significantly, but at the same time, it was still the same. He was married to an unbeliever. His friends were all unbelievers. He knew his heart was different, but he wrestled with what it all meant. Was this salvation something only for the future after death? Was he expected to abandon all the relationships and ties to his life as an unbeliever? Did he need to move? Get a new job? HOW IS THIS SUPPOSED TO WORK?!?!?

Perhaps you can understand Jeremy’s plight. How did his life as a Christian relate to his life just hours before he heard and responded to the Gospel?

The Corinthian believers faced similar challenges. The Gospel had been proclaimed and many of them had responded. Thus, a church was born. Even so, many of these new believers had family who had not understood or accepted the Gospel. Husbands with unsaved wives and children. Wives with unsaved husbands. The city of Corinth had not changed. The single folks realized that the dating field for Christians was a mere fraction of the population...

What we see in Corinth is similar to Jeremy’s conundrum… maybe similar to your situation too. How is a Christian to go about these relationships? How can we counsel new believers in this area of life? If you picked up a bulletin, I invite you to make use of the sermon guide and let’s discover together Paul’s tips on how Christians are to approach their relationships. The sermon is entitled “Saved and Confused”

The first tip Paul gives is to:

Be A Missionary In Your Home (10-17)

Like I mentioned earlier, some the Corinthians who had responded in faith to the Gospel had spouses and other family who had not. This spurred their question to Paul, “What do I do?”

You see, on the one hand, they were now married to an unbeliever - unequally yoked as Paul would call it later on. They wanted to know how to live out their faith when those in their own home, especially their spouses, did not believe similarly.

We can only speculate how they came to the conclusion that maybe they should cut ties with their families and start over… Perhaps they looked to the commands to the Jews in Nehemiah or other OT passage where God called the Jews to be separate. Regardless, the mission of the Gospel informs Paul’s advice. Let’s read what he had to say in v. 10-16 (READ)

Paul is urging the Christians in Corinth to remain in their relationship in order that they might be able to share the life-saving hope of the Gospel with their unbelieving spouses.

I want to point out just a couple things to you here:

Marriages that are not centered on Christ in the beginning can in fact be shifted to be Biblically lived out.

This only happens as both husband and wife find consensus in Christ. As the one in your relationship who has experienced the life-changing truth of the Cross, you are effectively commissioned as a missionary to shine the light of Jesus in your home.

Do you share your home with an unbeliever? Let me share some ideas how you can be a missionary in your home:

You can do this through your attitude- by being gracious and forgiving, kind and willing to serve your family.

You can do this through your actions - demonstrate how you have been changed; how you have turned from sin and how you have found joy in Christ alone

You can do this through words - Speak the truth of God’s Word in love. Paul tells us in Rom. 10, that the one who does not know Jesus cannot come to believe in Him if they are never told.

You can do this by praying for them. Friends, only the Holy Spirit can bring us to a place of conviction and understanding. You cannot do it on your own, so you must be diligent in prayer.

If you are married to an unbeliever this morning, I want you to know that there is still hope that they will come to understand and respond to the Hope offered through the Gospel. DON’T GIVE UP!!

Another thing Paul brings out here is children. If you are married to an unbeliever and you have kids, Paul says that you are a missionary for them as well.

As you live out your testimony before your spouse, so also you live it out before your children.

Now, while Paul only addresses these two relationships directly, I think we could easily apply this truth to those of you here who have children or grandchildren that have yet to trust in Jesus.

To you, I want to encourage you as well- BE MISSIONARIES! BE INTENTIONAL!

And listen, you may not see the fruits of your labor, but just as Esther was placed in the King’s court at a pivotal moment in history, I believe that God has placed each of you in your families for such a time as this.

Be a missionary in your home.

Discuss: What does it look like to be intentionally missional with loved ones who are unsaved? How will you begin this?

As we move through Paul’s advice to these confused Christians, we see that his second tip is to:

Model What Matters (17-24)

The Corinthian Church was confused about what to do about their relationships within the community at large.

In order for you to better understand their plight, let me ask you to use your imagination for a minute.

Let’s pretend that you were in South America and you had shared the Gospel with a tribe in the Amazon Jungle and a good number of them responded in faith. Now, they would want to know what it meant to live like a Christian. Should they give up their current hair-style and dress in favor of dressing like the fine folks here at LRBC? Should they give up their native language and only speak English? Should we demand that they only sing songs that we know from our hymn book? Would you expect them to embrace American ideals?

Let’s read v. 17-24 and see if we can decipher Paul’s message: (READ)

You see, Paul says that circumcision or uncircumcision means nothing! (19) We don’t think much about that today, but we might say, loin cloth or blue jeans mean nothing. Big hair or no hair means nothing! Tattoo or no tattoo means nothing. What matters is that you walk with God!!

Paul isn’t demanding that the Corinthians attempt to look like him nor did he make changing their physical circumstance a priority. Rather, Paul says that you were called to follow Christ in your context- slave, freeman, rich, poor, etc.

The challenge was instead to remain with God. Walk with Him. Put your eyes on Him and seek His Kingdom!

For us today, we ought to see this call by the Apostle as an encouragement to prioritize the Gospel above our traditions or preferences. You prefer to dress up real nice- great, but don’t worry about the person who dresses differently. You like certain songs, great. But others might be accustomed to bringing worship to God in a different style. (It’s not about you anyway!) You get the idea.

Let me say this: I love being Baptist. I love being a Southern Baptist because we have a strong statement of faith and an amazing network of missionaries around the globe.

Yet, when I think about making disciples, my main objective is not to make you baptist. My main objective is to walk with you walking with God.

I think the warning for us is to ensure that when we are gathered here or in our jobs or in the community, we need to be sure to model what is most important. Let me give us a couple ideas:

We can develop a sincere relationship with God and live like we have been changed!

We can learn to respond to others with love and patience

We can speak truth without attacking others

We can extend grace to those who don’t see things like we do

We can genuinely care about the growth of new believers

If you are a believer, then your priority is to be about that which matters in God’s Kingdom. In your home and with those you know and love, Be a missionary. In your circumstance, don’t elevate non-essentials, but instead model what matters.

Discuss: What practical step(s) can you take to be a model to other believers and to unbelievers this week?

Finally, Paul turns his entire focus in these last several verses largely to those who are unmarried. So, if you are single or you have family or friends who are- listen to Paul’s last tip in Chapter 7 which is:

Make the Most of Your Life Phase (25-40)

There is a lot here and we won’t take the time to re-read all of what Paul wrote. Instead, let me try to lay out Paul’s logic.

If you are single- whether you have yet to marry or you find yourself no longer in a marriage, then Paul says you should consider this phase- whether temporary or permanent - an opportunity to draw closer to God and to take more seriously the work of His Kingdom.

Paul gives us a few supporting arguments and warnings as to why you should make the most of your single status.

Because you are made to glorify God and our time on earth is brief, we should leverage our time and energy first and foremost on God’s Kingdom. (25-27)

There was a lot of turmoil in the 1st century, and Paul recognized the urgency of the Gospel. Thus, unless you are absolutely convinced that you should marry, then maybe don’t.

This isn’t an original idea- Jesus taught in Matt. 6:33 that we are to seek God’s Kingdom above everything else. Here, Paul applies this to that of even taking a spouse.

Marriage can be difficult (we are all broken vessels, btw). (28-29)

ILL - It reminds me of the fella who introduced his wife saying, This is my lovely wife. We’ve been happily married for 23 years… and 2 years that were just ok.

It’s an interesting point, but we need to understand that Paul does not condemn marriage; Paul is not saying you shouldn’t get married. Rather, he is saying that marriage isn’t without trouble and thus we ought to consider the eternal purpose as being our primary goal in life.

Again, Paul was speaking to the reality that this world is passing away, and there are so many who need to hear the Gospel. Some good advice might be to ensure that if you are going to marry, then ensure your future spouse is as committed to the Gospel as you are.

Marriage can become an idol (30-35)

This is a warning- if you find that you cannot be devoted to God because of your spouse, then you have become distracted. Your spouse is to be your help-mate in order to glorify God. He / she is not to compete with God for devotion and worship.

Here I’d like to say to our married couples that if your marriage is not centered on God, then it is likely that you are distracted from your purpose as a Christian couple.

Now, all this space is given here at the end of chapter 7 to say this:

If God has given you opportunity to serve Him in greater ways because you are single, then you should pursue that. Don’t make marriage such a goal or idol that you are more concerned with dating than with living out the Great Commission.

Even as his advice is aimed at those who are single- there is application to other specific phases of life. If you are married, you ought to seek ways of leveraging your phase of life- retirement, raising a family, etc. for the Gospel. Make the most out of your life-phase!

Discuss: How can you leverage your specific phase of life for God’s Kingdom?

I like the way CT Studd, a British missionary in the 19th century, puts it in the final stanza of his poem “Only One Life”

Only One Life C.T. Studd

Only one life, yes only one, Now let me say, “Thy will be done”; And when at last I’ll hear the call, I know I’ll say ’twas worth it all”; Only one life,’ twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

I pray that you will consider how God’s word can be applied to your heart and life today. If you’ve never experienced the joy and freedom of salvation, please come talk to myself or Pastor James. We’d love nothing more than to share how you can place your hope and trust in Christ.

[PRAY]