937 3 Jn. 9-15 Possessing the Spirit of Gaius or Diotrephes Pt.2
Notes
Transcript
As you know, children are greatly influenced by the people around them
Adults live and lead, not only by precept, but by example
Good parenting results in a good outcome in your children
6 Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Likewise, everyone here has an impact on the children of our congregation
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Just this week, I remembered a prayer that my mum taught me when I was little
I also remember my Sunday School teachers & the great impact they had on my life
I was only a primary age kid & Sunday School, of course, was only for primary age kids, but how is it, at that young age, I remember Mr & Mrs Legg so fondly
Alex was my friend at that age when we attended the Baptist Sunday School, we use to clown around a bit, but there was something about the graciousness of Mr & Mrs Legg that never left me
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When I was in the 8th grade in high school, I remember 2 teachers who stood out to me: One who taught me English & then in the 10th grade, one who taught me maths
Q. How is it, that I remember so vividly, of all things, the principle statement they each made about their teaching philosophy?
Mr Ramsey, I remember - fondly - because of his approach said, “I’m here to teach you & by golly, you’re going to learn
I did the best I ever did in English under this man
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Then, in 10th grade, I had a teacher, & I don’t remember his name who said “I here to teach you, but you do whatever you like, just don’t interrupt the class”
I did the worst I had ever done on any subject under that man
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Q. What was the difference? One cared about the students, the other couldn’t care less
But what is of interest to me, now, that I’m in my 60’s is that a 13 yr old knew what was going at that depth - how do you explain that!
I’m nothing special - I was no different from the next kid - but how was it that I was thinking those thoughts about people & their examples at that age?
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So I would say - never underestimate the impact you have on young children
Their level of comprehension may not seem obvious, but as I reflect back on many occasions when I was young, I am well aware that I picked up either positive or negative aspects & attitudes of people
Ultimately, that shaped me as I grew up - I wanted to be like the good person - some, I never wanted to be like at all
Young people do that - we all tend to do that
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So the question we need look at, as we understand the contrasts in characters in 3rd John, is who do we want to identify with? Who do we want to emulate?
Q. Do we choose to adopt the spirit of Gaius or the spirit of Diotrephes?
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Last week, we saw how Gaius was a man of truth; that he walked in the truth; the truth was in him & that he was a fellow worker for the truth
We saw that he acted faithfully in the way he dealt with fellow Christians & how he cared for those who were spreading the Gospel message
Gaius was a man of love & reflected the God of love, whom he emulated
Q. Would this be the man you would emulate? Or would it be this one we look at this morning?
1. Dictator Diotrephes
1. Dictator Diotrephes
I’ve entitled this point “Dictator Diotrephes” & he is a man that loves to be first
9 I wrote something to the church; but Diotrephes, who loves to be first among them, does not accept what we say.
He loves to put himself first - doesn’t that ring true of a narcissist?
Narcissism means love of self & the Scriptures warn us against this attitude
Picture of Narcissus, a Greek mythological figure that fell in love with his reflection
Well, that should be embarrassing!
1 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
The love of self & the love of pleasure means that a person would put themselves first over others - you know, because, as those ads remind us - “you’re worth it”!
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Here are 7 characteristics that seem to appear in a narcissist:
1. An attitude of superiority and entitlement
2. Exaggerated need for attention and validation
3. Great need for control
4. Believes he is always right
5. Blame shifts & doesn’t take responsibility
6. Reasons with the emotions
7. Has an inability to work with a Team
Since we live in a narcissistic society, it is not uncommon to find the spirit of Diotrephes present in the lives of many people
The danger for the church is that we can let the narcissistic spirit into the church community
It may not easily be taught, but it can certainly be caught
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An obvious example of a narcissistic approach is a rejection of the word of God in favour of the word of man
People who listen to the world, rather than to God are preferencing what suits them as a first priority, rather than what suits God
4 But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.’ ”
For the church, their is no higher authority than Jesus & it is Jesus who delegated apostolic authority to the apostles & these men were, unlike us, used by the Holy Spirit in that special role
If it was the Spirit’s role to remind the apostles of Jesus of all the things that Jesus said & did, how can anyone else be on the same level when they never spent any physical time with Jesus at all?
Surely that must be a clincher!
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So when the world, that is under the control of the evil one, dictates this or that, who decides what to accept?
19 We know that we are of God, and that the whole world lies in the power of the evil one. 20 And we know that the Son of God has come, and has given us understanding so that we may know Him who is true; and we are in Him who is true, in His Son Jesus Christ. This is the true God and eternal life.
When the world says to choose your own sexuality. Who decides the truth?
When the world says that marriage is for any 2 persons. Who decides the truth?
If you have the spirit of Diotrephes, then you decide
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When the apostles speak of leadership in the church & headship in the family & yet the world tells us differently, who decides the truth?
If you have the spirit of Diotrephes, then you decide what suits you, right? (I’ll decide)
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When the world decides that everyone is entitled to their own truth, then what happens to “man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God”?
What happens to the focus of the early church where they “devoted themselves to the apostle’s teaching, and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer”? Acts 2:42
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Diotrephes decided that he was more important than God & that he would choose for himself & he rejected the way of God
John says that “he does not accept what we say” - he thumbed his nose at apostolic teaching
Furthermore, he engages in malicious slander against the apostles
It doesn’t stop here, however, as he exercises dictatorial control over the church
Those who want to listen to the apostles & welcome & treat with love fellow workers in the Gospel are told they cannot - & if they resist, Diotrephes kicks them out of the church (excommunication)
Q. Does he not care about the fact that Jesus appointed His special apostles to this task of overseeing the church?
13 For this reason we also constantly thank God that when you received the word of God which you heard from us, you accepted it not as the word of men, but for what it really is, the word of God, which also performs its work in you who believe.
Diotrephes listened to the contemporary world that he was a part of
It’s probable, that he valued respectability from the world he was used to & grew up with
He cared for his own way so much that he could not bring himself to side with God against the world - he could not lose that respectability that he received from the world
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One of the biggest failures of Diotrephes is that he ignored the truth of Jesus which was to deny yourself, take up your cross, and to follow after Jesus
The manifestation of self typically is nothing more than the manifestation of sin
To John the motives governing the conduct of Diotrephes were neither theological, nor social, nor ecclesiastical, but moral. The root of the problem was sin — John Stott
The Letters of John: An Introduction and Commentary (2. The Message concerning Diotrephes (9–10))
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It is often the desire for preeminence that prompts Christians to determine for themselves the approach to inappropriate matters that happen within the church
Being concerned for oneself alone is what lays behind the rejection of the apostle’s teaching
For example, church discipline is a process that is taught & encouraged by Jesus & practised by the apostles
Many people reject this approach since it is out of step with the way the world thinks
If you don’t stick with what the Lord says is the purpose of this process, like many things, it can be abused - which is exactly what we see here with Diotrephes
He used church discipline as a weapon to manipulate others to do what he wanted - he’d kick them out of the church if they didn’t comply
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In 1st Corinthians, there was a man who was living in an unrepentant, incestuous relationship - unrepentant being the key here - & Paul says to the Corinthians that instead of being proud of their libertarian stance, they should be concerned about sincerity & truth within the congregation
12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church? 13 But those who are outside, God judges. Remove the wicked man from among yourselves.
But Diotrephes abused the proper use of discipline, which was a means of bringing someone into sincerity & truth
Instead, Diotrephes, used this discipline process, as a means of expelling the truth so that he could please himself
Interestingly, the discipline process always wants to expel darkness & bring in light
John says, “if I come, I will call attention to his deeds” - he will expose the darkness
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When 2 of Jesus’ disciples proposed, & also their mother, that they take the highest positions next to Him in His kingdom, Jesus had this to say...
26 “It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, 27 and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave;
Let’s remember to not take our que from the dictatorial mandates of the world around us, but from our Lord Jesus Christ
2. Imitating the Good
2. Imitating the Good
Now we come back to the question of who you would emulate or imitate?
Gaius or Diotrephes?
Actually, there is another man in this fellowship who receives a good wrap from John
His name is Demetrius & it is said that he received a good testimony from 3 sources:
Everyone acknowledged his walk in God’s ways
John adds his testimony, which he says is true
And the truth itself adds it’s testimony
Now you may be wondering how the truth itself can add a testimony
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Well, in Proverbs, Solomon refers to wisdom as a lady - he personifies wisdom
20 Wisdom shouts in the street, She lifts her voice in the square;
Not that wisdom is a woman, but it is just a personification
Just like the apostle Paul we could say, almost, speaks about sin as the personification of an evil entity
15 For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. 16 But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. 17 So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.
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So the testimony of the truth itself is really the evidence that exists of Demetrius’ life
The reality of the fact that he walks in the truth is the reality of the fact that his life has the tick of approval from the “truth”
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Everybody is an imitator. It is natural for us to look up to other people as examples to follow - we do that - we judge what people do & decide whether we like what we see or not
Now the Christian ought be assessing everyone, but we should not be comparing them with a popular celebrity or sportsperson - popularity with the world is no gauge in determining whether a Christian should follow their example
For starters, what you see on TV is not the whole life of that person anyway
We need to be emulating those we know as living the life of Christ whether they are up the front of the church or working, in secret, in the garden at home
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Judging the actions of people as either good or evil & comparing their actions with our own is not for the purpose of condemning them, but so as to learn to imitate the good & to reject the not so good
Yes, it’s not possible for people to be perfect, but we can imitate what is good
12 For we are not bold to class or compare ourselves with some of those who commend themselves; but when they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.
In other words, their standard is their own that they set & the benchmark may be very low
Instead, Paul says...
18 For it is not he who commends himself that is approved, but he whom the Lord commends.
Therefore, we need to imitate the good & reject the evil
John writes & “says” to Gaius in v.11… “Choose a model carefully Gaius - Don’t imitate Diotrephes”
1 Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.
3. Extolling in Fellowship
3. Extolling in Fellowship
Coming now to the closing part of John’s letter
"For fools rush in where angels fear to tread" is a quotation from a poem published in 1711
It’s a very applicable quotation when we consider social media
Social media posts are fraught with danger as it has many inherent weaknesses - "For fools rush in where angels fear to tread"
Firstly, it lacks face to face interaction
Face to face interaction is a much better gauge on whether communication is happening in the appropriate way
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Social media posts lack...
1. Context - often they are very brief & to the point
2. Lack body language - which is a good gauge as to whether the person is hearing you rightly
3. Lacks the fear factor - your familiar with a phone or computer screen & it doesn’t give you a scowl if you write something wrong - it doesn’t bite back
4. It can be written with little thought - its easy to write something quickly & then get on to the next thing on your list
We can all be guilty of some of these things when it comes to writing on social media
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In the close of this Epistle, John says that he doesn’t want to write to them with pen & ink, but to speak face to face
There is no substitute for face to face communication
Yes, it can be challenging, confronting, difficult, but most likely, better relationships are formed this way
I’m not saying there’s no place for writing, either letters, or on social media
But I think we need to use wisdom as to what we deal with either by pen or type, or whether we use face to face interaction
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There are 2 imperatives or commands in the whole of 3 John
Do not imitate what is evil & Greet the friends by name
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Interestingly, he says to Gaius to greet the friends by name
Q. What does this say to us about mega churches?
I’m not making any statements for or against mega churches, but what this is highlighting here is the personal nature of the church community
We should get to know each other by name
There is a difference between saying hi & being friendly & actually knowing the name of a person
Knowing their name takes it to a different level, does it not?
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Now as a pastor, I need to know everyone by name
Sometimes, it’s hard to recall everyone’s name & I have been caught out on occasion, even recently, having a mental block on a person’s name & that is embarrassing
Why is it embarrassing? Because it is important for people that remember their name
To not know their name means that they are, whether intended or not, of less value to you
3 “To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.
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There is a personal & individual element in the fellowship we have with one another & with the Lord
We are not each, just a number, as you see on machinery parts
We are individually known & as Jesus has said, “the very hairs of your head are numbered”
Wow, only God could do that - that’s a lot of hair to remember - but please don’t feel like you’re missing out if you haven’t got much hair left 😀
The point is not how much hair you have - it’s about how much God personally knows about, & takes an interest in, you
13 “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. 14 “You are My friends if you do what I command you.
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The expression of “peace be with you” is similar to what John wrote to Gaius at the beginning
2 Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers.
Peace is not experienced when you are malfunctioning
Peace has to do with well being, not just physically but spiritually
Gaius could know this peace because he was in the truth & faithful to the truth
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Let’s remember, then, that the problem Diotrephes has is that he loved himself more than others - it was a self-centred, narcissistic attitude
He did not honour those who set out for the sake of the Name; he was only concerned for the glory of his own name
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Diotrephes slandered John, cold-shouldered the missionaries and excommunicated the loyal believers—all because he loved himself and wanted to have the pre-eminence
As typical of narcissism, personal vanity still lies at the root of most dissensions in every local church today
The best way to combat it is to realise that discipleship means:- deny yourself, take up your cross (death to self) & to follow Jesus
If we all did that, we would be the loving congregation that would be well pleasing to the Lord