Surround Yourself with the Right People!

The Preacher’s Notebook: The Collected Quotes, Illustrations, and Prayers of John Stott (Stability Depends on Fellowship and Depth)

Out on the mountains of Switzerland the fir tree is a national symbol. The hillsides are terraced with them, row upon row. The typical English tree is the oak, and its roots are said to go down as far as the tree grows up, to support its massive, sturdy dimensions.But how shall the tall and stately pines stand firm against winds and snows, when their roots soon hit the rock and cannot grow deeper?

It is said that the roots grow outward when they cannot grow downward, and the fibers intertwine with the roots of other trees, and they hold together. So stability depends on corporate fellowship as well as personal depth.

When the storms blow, the trees stand strong because they are depending upon each other and have intertwined their roots…they are a family of trees that stand stronger together.

Our Mission — Building a family of disciples who know and live for Jesus Christ.

We receive our commission from God to make disciples who know Christ and as a result of knowing Him, they are taught how to live for Him…the result then of being regenerated by the Holy Spirit is we have an expectation that true disciples will live according to his Word.

Living by the Word means we are going to be obedient to Him…all throughout the New Testament you find references to the church as a body who cares for one another and grows stronger together, as a family…one of the greatest texts we see regarding this is...

Ephesians 4:13-16 “until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ. As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming; but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.”

The word we is used three times here…talks about the whole body (we) maturing because each individual is doing their part…to be a useful part of the body, you need to be attached to the body…so part of being obedient to Him is maintaining a connection to the body!

One of the many benefits we receive by staying attached to the body, is we become a family that really does care for one another, and during those times of great difficulty we come alongside one another and minister in multiple ways.

However, our tendency is that when difficulty arises, our pride keeps us from calling out to the family for help!

What we often fail to consider is that God’s design for the body is that we care for one another so well, that those dark days of despair can turn to joy because we have surrounded ourselves with the right people!

That is why it is so important for us to continually apply ourselves to being a family that cares for one another…in that I say we do a good job of that…we are to be commended…but we cannot stop!

With those thoughts in mind, please turn in your Bibles to 2 Timothy 4:9-15.

We are coming to the end of this letter…Pastor Matthew and I both agree that at times these personal remarks in the Epistles don’t always yield an easy sermon to preach.

There is no formatted template of three points and a poem…

But as Pastor Matthew pointed out the last two weeks…All Scripture is God breathed and useful… it thoroughly equips us for every good work.

It tells us What is Right…teaching, doctrine

It tells us What is Not Right…Reproof

It tells How to Get Right…Correction

It tells us How to Stay Right … Training in Righteousness

When we consider the doctrine of inspiration and that every part and every thought of Scripture is breathed out by God, that includes all the genealogies, lists, etc; and personal remarks.

When we remember that Scripture was written in a specific time, by specific people, with real situations, we gain an understanding of God, His desires, and people.

What we have in this point of the text are the final written words of the Apostle Paul to his dearest son in the faith, Timothy.

Remember, Paul was in prison awaiting execution…he did not know how long he would have to wait…

There was no texting…no phone calls…no emails… so as we read this text, we need to picture in our minds eye what Paul was going through…

In these final words of Paul we see the importance of relationships… even when facing death, he was focused on Jesus and people!

Paul was not a lone ranger…throughout his letters he always mentioned people...

In chapter 1 he mentions the sad desertion of Phygelus and Hermogenes and the exemplary service of Onesiphorous.

In this chapter, he will mention both friends and foes…some were faithful, some were unfaithful…some started well and departed…others started poorly but were now exemplary…

So as we survey these individuals we must ask ourselves who are we like…and we must also ask who are we surrounding ourselves with in these difficult days?

I & II Thessalonians, I & II Timothy, Titus, Philemon (B. Personal Remarks (4:9–22)

We are used to hero worship, to admiring people of accomplishment. It would be easy to set Paul upon a saintly pedestal. But serving Christ always takes place in community, as a team effort. In the final verses of this chapter Paul wrote of his love, appreciation, and need of others who served with him.

He expressed personal concern and thanks in these final words.

Main Point: In Difficult Times, Relationships Matter.

What do we need to consider regarding our relationships?

Paul understood the importance of friends, especially in tough times...

In this text we get a glimpse into the humanity of Paul…years earlier Paul became exhausted by external conflicts and inner fears about the work…he was struggling…listen to what he said in 2 Cor. 7:5-7 “For even when we came into Macedonia our flesh had no rest, but we were afflicted on every side: conflicts without, fears within. But God, who comforts the depressed, comforted us by the coming of Titus; and not only by his coming, but also by the comfort with which he was comforted in you, as he reported to us your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me; so that I rejoiced even more.”

Titus modeled the kind of ministry we all need today.

Paul already praised Onesiphorus for his Titus-like ministry in 2 Tim 1:16-18.

After Paul was arrested, most believers in Asia deserted him…but Onesiphorus traveled to Rome and actually searched for him… knocked on doors, was sneaking around in dark alleys, asking suspicious questions…then once he found Paul, he was refreshing to him…in spite of the dangers, he would return to Paul again and again to minister to him…

So here in his final remarks Paul mentions people by name, some faithful, some not.

Let’s examine two principles to consider in your relationships...

We need to be and have friends that are faithful.

I stated it that way on purpose because many times we constantly look outwardly at how people are ministering to us…but Scripture tells us we are to be actively engaged in “one anothering”… so not only do we want to surround ourselves with faithful friends, we should want to BE those faithful friends also.

“Make every effort to come to me soon” — you get the sense that Paul was lonely…

Demas deserted, Crescens was going to another mission field, Titus as well.

Luke was the only one there

A lesson we can learn from Paul here is that it is okay to ask for help!

Paul was not some super-spiritual giant who could get by on his own…as great a godly man as Paul was, he still needed his companions…he urged his friend to be by his side in the darkest days of his life… from the previous verse we know he was not afraid to die… weariness, discouragement and loneliness are real struggles and sometimes just having the right people around you can make the difference.

He even wanted him to gather more

in verse 21, Paul wanted him to arrive before winter because when winter came the ships did not sail and it would be harder for Timothy to get to him, he needed his cloak for warmth and his looming death made his longing for Timothy much more intense!

Remember Timothy was in Ephesus and it would take him a long time to get to Paul…there was no face-timing…no Zoom meetings…no texting…he wanted him physically by his side, nothing else mattered…come quickly!

Let’s examine Paul’s friends seeking to identify who we want to be like and who we need and who to avoid!

Timothy

There is no doubt that as you read Paul’s letters to him, their relationship was a close relationship.

He calls him “my dear son” in 1:2

He longed to see him — 1:4

He brought joy to Paul — 1:4

Paul had such a close relationship with Timothy that it made him ache for Timothy’s presence.

We all need to be and even develop those relationships with others that make our hearts ache when they are absent from us. Those relationships won’t happen overnight. They take time and effort and prayer.

First and foremost, for those who are married…your spouse should be that closest relationship you develop… great effort must be exerted in growing that important relationship… outside your marriage...

Who is your Timothy…who are you pouring your life into...

Who is your Paul…do you have someone pouring into you...

The best place to find them is right here...

Demas

Demas was one time commended by Paul as a “fellow worker” — Phlm 24.

The reason Paul wanted Timothy to come quickly was because Demas deserted him.

This word means to utterly abandon and leave someone helpless in a dire situation.

His desertion brought Paul pain…here was someone who started well and ended poorly!

Why did he abandon Paul in his darkest hours?

Because he loved this present world… instead of loving the Lord’s appearing (v.8).

We are not sure exactly what this means since no details were given…but we do know he had misplaced affections.

Demas probably did not deny Christ and march off to Thessalonica in defiant arrogance. He does not appear as a heretic, signing on with the false teachers.

Instead, Demas seems to exhibit the human tendency to seek personal safety. He probably traded in the values of God for the values of this world—the values of immediacy…the values of what we makes me feel good and happier.

He probably still believed in Christ, but he was unwilling to endure hardship, to identify with the imprisoned apostle and his unpopular teachings. His heartstrings were attached to personal protection and comfort.

Demas had splendid potential.

Demas wasn’t a lightweight, and he had been with Paul in many ups and downs.

But this time the situation in Rome was apparently too much for him.

Paul was not under house arrest as before but was in the infamous Mamartine prison, on his way to a sure death for sedition.

So Demas packed his bags and took off to Thessalonica.

Faithful service and zealous work do not guarantee the future.

Our lives must be lived faithfully each day, each week, year upon year.

Here was a man who had served Christ well, who had belonged to an intimate circle of workers with the apostle Paul, and yet he abandoned it in the end.

Demas serves as a warning to each of us that we cannot rest on our past or assume the future. We must maintain a steady diligence in the present moment.

Paul probably had high hopes for Demas only to have them crushed in his desertion.

Some of the greatest heartaches in ministry come not from enemies, but from those who begin well and then depart because the allurements of the world were deemed better than loving Christ.

Demas is one of the 2 individuals in this portion we DO NOT WANT TO EMULATE!

Crescens & Titus

These were fellow workers who continued the work by traveling to other locations.

There was nothing wrong in their leaving, but there departure added to Paul’s loneliness.

They were trusted companions who said their goodbyes, knowing they would one day see him again in glory, and then carried on their mission…there is no doubt they were grieving the loss of their dear friend, but they knew the work must go on!

Luke

This is the same Luke that penned the gospel…he is the antithesis to Demas…he was not only a missionary companion, but also his traveling physician.

He and Demas were with Paul during his first imprisonment…He was also included in the greetings to Colossians…there he is the beloved physician.

Unlike Demas, Luke was with Paul from his first imprisonment to his last…He was Paul’s biographer…In Acts you see the “we” passages indicating Luke was with Paul during some of the most difficult times…In Acts 27, you see Paul taken away as a prisoner to Rome and Luke was with him.

Luke was probably responsible for writing Paul’s letter to Timothy.

There is no indication that Luke is in prison too, so he would have lodged somewhere nearby and probably visit with Paul almost everyday. He would no doubt try to keep Paul as healthy as he could under the circumstances.

Mark

Paul tells Timothy to get Mark and bring him with you…

Behind this simple command is a great story of grace and restoration… Mark, along with Barnabas accompanied Paul on his early missionary travels. However, at one point, Mark left them and returned to Jerusalem.

We don’t know why or what happened. But Paul saw this very negatively. Later, Barnabas wanted to have Mark travel with them again, but Paul did not want that. He thought it unwise since he left them once already…Acts 15:38.

This created such a rift in the relationship between Paul and Barnabas that they split company…Barnabas and Mark traveled together, while Paul and Silas joined forces.

But now look at what Paul says about Mark… “he is useful for me in ministry”

We have no record of exactly what happened to Mark afterward, but evidently the time with Barnabas was a time of healing and maturation.

Mark was again with Paul during his first Roman imprisonment — Col 4:10.

Paul also called him a “fellow worker” (Philemon 24).

Significantly, Mark also became a veritable son to the apostle Peter (1 Peter 5:13).

And now Paul, in his time of greatest need, called for Mark

Mark had rocketed from uselessness to usefulness!

Mark, the missionary dropout, became the writer of the great action Gospel that emphasizes the servanthood of our Lord.

What profound encouragement we find in the life of Mark.

Past failure, even rejection, does not prevent present usability. You can come back from disgrace.

Not only that, you can become immensely useful to Christ.

Tychicus

In Col 4:7 he is described as a “dear brother, faithful minister, and fellow servant”

He was probably the one who delivered the letters of Colossians and Ephesians. He probably also delivered this letter to Timothy.

Another possibility is that he is going to serve in Timothy’s place while he is gone to visit Paul.

Paul was so confident in his ministry, that he sent him with the last letter he wrote, which the Holy Spirit inspired as Scripture, and perhaps even filled in as pastor of the church of Ephesus.

Now that Tychicus was in Ephesus, Timothy could leave with haste! Paul was confident that Timothy would come quickly and so he asks Timothy for some personal things.

v. 13 — bring my cloak…the books…especially the parchments.

Cloak — woolen outer garment… because winter is coming — v. 21

the books— no one knows for certain what these books were…it is not unreasonable to believe them to be the Old Testament.

parchments — expensive, durable writing material made of animal skin — again not certain whether these were blank so he could write more with whatever time he had left, or perhaps personal notes and journals.

All we know for certain was these were important enough that Paul wanted Timothy to stop in Troas on his way to Rome and pick them up from Carpus!

We need to beware those who stand in opposition.

Paul now warns Timothy to be aware and beware a bitter enemy of the faith.

Paul realized that when Timothy arrived in Rome, he could possibly encounter Alexander the metalworker.

Evidently this man had created difficulty for Paul and was an outright opponent of the gospel.

As a “coppersmith,” he may have been an idol maker who resented Paul (like Demetrius in Acts 19:24) because Paul was cutting into his bottom line.

In 1 Timothy, Paul mentions an “Alexander,” whom he “delivered … to Satan” (1:20). Whether this is the same Alexander we cannot know for sure

Paul’s choice of words suggests that this Alexander may have played a leading role in having him arrested.

Whatever the specifics of the situation, Alexander caused great … harm.

The word harm carries the idea of someone bringing legal charges against someone else… in verse 16 you see a reference to a trial…which leads us to think that Alexander leveled a legal accusation against Paul of which he was found guilty and sentenced to death…(in Ephesus a riot broke out because of Paul’s preaching and actions there and this could very well have been a charge of sedition (inciting people to riot))

Verse 14 — indicates his actions were harmful

Verse 15 — indicates his words were also harmful

Nevertheless, the final outcome rested not with Paul or Timothy but with God.

Paul was certain that the Lord will repay him for what he has done…Paul alludes to Psalm 62:12 “And lovingkindness is Yours, O Lord, For You recompense a man according to his work.”

He also remembers what he said in Romans 12:19 “Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.”

Alexander’s fate remained in the hands of a just God.

In the meantime, Paul warned Timothy: Be on your guard against him, because he strongly opposed our message.

Paul exhibited balance in his approach.

On the one hand, he refused personal revenge or plots of retaliation.

On the other hand, he rejected naiveté and stupidity and warned Timothy to be careful.

We need to be discerning regarding the people we surround ourselves with and whom we allow to impact our thinking and behavior.

There may not be an Alexander in your life right now, but Alexanders do exist…be aware of those who stand against the truth…don’t let them influence you.

What we see in Alexander is that opposition can come in both words and actions. Don’t allow the words, desires, and actions of others to manipulate you into compromising your relationship with God, or worse, abandoning it!

750 Engaging Illustrations for Preachers, Teachers and Writers 85: Community

In October of 1993, in the town of Worcester, Massachusetts, police found an old woman dead on her kitchen floor. This was no ordinary discovery—she had been dead four years. Police speculated she died at age seventy-three of natural causes. That’s when her bank transactions ended.

How can someone be so cut off from relationships that no one even notices when he or she dies?

To some extent, it was a mistake. According to the Associated Press, four years earlier, neighbors had called authorities when they sensed something might be wrong. When the police contacted the woman’s brother, he said she had gone into a nursing home. Police told the postal service to stop delivering mail. One neighbor paid her grandson to cut the grass because the place was looking run-down. Another neighbor had the utility company come and shut off the water when a pipe froze, broke, and sent water spilling out the door.

To a great extent, though, it was not a mistake.

One friend from the past said, “She didn’t want anyone bothering her at all. I guess she got her wish, but it’s awfully sad.”

Her brother said the family hadn’t been close since their mother died in 1979. He added, “Someone should have noticed something before now.”

The woman had lived in her house in this middle-class neighborhood for forty years, but none of her neighbors knew her well. “My heart bleeds for her,” said the woman who lives across the street. “But you can’t blame a soul. If she saw you out there, she never said hello to you.”

As this neighborhood shows, a spirit of community only results when all of us reach out to one another. Relationships take effort.

Life Lessons

Make strengthening your relationships with one another a priority.

We need each other even more as time marches on!

We have to be intentionally focused on building relationships, because every relationship matters.

Don’t be a Demas… (maybe that should be on a T-shirt) discipline yourself to finish well!

The allurements of this world are only temporary…none of them will provide lasting joy and contentment.

Who or what is ruling your passions?

Ask God to give you discernment regarding the people you allow to influence you and then use it!

Ps 1:1-3 “How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sit in the seat of scoffers! But his delight is in the law of the Lord, And in His law he meditates day and night. He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, Which yields its fruit in its season And its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers.”