Tazria Drash

Roles of Mother and Father

This weeks Parashat is titled Tazria which means to become. In this usage to become pregnant. There is a common theme in the Torah, Naviim, and Besorah portion of this weeks Parashat. The theme is roles. Everyone has been created by HaShem with an intended role. We see some of the responsibilities of the roles of a mother, the kohanim, a prince, and a servant carrying a water jar spread across this weeks Parashat.

The role that I was drawn to this week was that of the mother. In Leviticus 12:1-8 we read about the requirements for a mother after she is through her days of purification for bringing a child in to the world. In verse 6 and 7 we read specifically:

6“When the days of her purification are completed for a son or for a daughter, she is to bring to the Kohen, at the entrance of the Tent of Meeting, a year old lamb for a burnt offering and a young pigeon or a turtledove, for a sin offering. 7He is to present it before Adonai and make atonement for her. Then she will be cleansed from the discharge of her blood. This is the Torah for her who gives birth, whether to a male or a female child.

There is a lot of questions for this entire section, but the one that came to my mind is, “Why is her husband not doing this?”

I found a very good answer in classic Judaic study. In Judaism the role of the woman is to bring the spiritual into the physical and the role of the man is to elevate the physical in to the spiritual. We live in this everyday. A man may build a house but a woman turns it in to a home. With that in mind it is plain to see a woman has the primary role of mother in bringing life in to the world. She cannot do it without a man obviously, but it is her body that nurtures and tends to that soul that came from the spiritual to take form in the physical for the next 9 months. What about the man does he have no part in the nurturing of the soul as it takes physical form? Of course he does! As the father he provides the nourishment for the mother and protection for her that she may grow the body for the soul and it come in to the physical. Yet as the primary role of mother, the woman still has the responsibility of bringing the sacrifice and sin offering herself.

From that point on the role of the father becomes more primary in the raising of the child. It is the primary role of the father to teach the child Torah, how to make a living and even how to swim. Does the mother have no part in this? By no means! She is crucial to accomplishing all of this. The influence of a mother upon a child is absolutely critical as we all know. Yet it is the primary responsibility of the father that these things are done.

With all of that we must acknowledge we live in a broken world and sometimes there is not both a mother and a father present. At other times some people are simply more qualified for certain activities than others. These roles are not intended for extrinsic discipline or in other words rigid gender stereotypes but are intended for self-discipline on in other words humility. Even if one is more qualified for a role or task whether it be as a parent, teacher, leader or any activity, it is in the service of the role we have been given even as a child, student, spouse, or servant that pleases HaShem and never the usurpation of authority from a role that was never ours to begin with.

The offering and the sin sacrifice by the mother requires a participation of the father. It requires him to be humble and provide the means for her to do so. It is not explicitly stated but like the father who stands humbly aside so to does this obligation stand humbly to the side to make way for the primary purpose and role.

Let there be no doubt it is a desire in a wife to control and direct her husband, yet it is her role to advise and share wisdom with him.

As a man I have a desire to step forward and meet every challenge and obligation my sweet wife has head on. She carries many burdens and has had more hardships in life than I think is fair. Yet as hard as it is sometimes my role is to stand meekly on the side while she meets battles head on.