LOVE LIKE THAT: Grace-Full
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Good morning!
It is good to be back with you guys!
I want to say thank you to Ben and Anna for sharing their story last week.
If you weren’t here, do yourself and your soul a favor and go listen to the podcast.
If you ever needed encouragement or an example of what it means to trust and wait on God, you can find it in their testimony.
The faith, courage, and sacrifice that they have exhibited over the last ten years are extraordinary.
God has shown Himself faithful in their lives and He wants to do the same for you.
You know, it’s not uncommon for God to ask us to do hard or uncomfortable things.
In fact, as we look at examples of abiding found in scripture, we see God using his people in extraordinary ways.
Abiding, if you think about it, is God including us in his supernatural work.
He is using broken, messed up, people to reveal His Glory to the world.
Over the last few weeks, I have shared with some new friends about our journey to this neighborhood.
I, like many of you, wondered how God could use us here.
My life story and your life stories are so vastly different from our neighbors here that I struggled to see what value we could bring.
There is so much about their lives that I don’t understand, but as I spoke with God about it, He kept saying to go.
I would be willing to bet that all of you have had an experience like mine or the McKay’s.
You had a time when God told you to do something that seemed impossible.
Along with that comes feelings of inadequacy.
You look at the task before you and your inventory of skills, talents, and knowledge realizing that you are completely out of your depth.
Les shares a similar story and listen to what his mentor told him.
“You’re right, you don’t have anything of value to share with these folks, but consider this, God has much to say to them through you.” He related to me with such grace and encouragement. I’ll never forget it. I want to be like that. As I read the Bible, I see that characteristic of grace woven into every activity of Jesus’ life.
As I’ve said each week, I WANT TO LOVE LIKE JESUS AND SO DO YOU.
You may not even be part of a church, but something inside of you gravitates toward having solutions to relationship challenges you face.
We all have them, don’t we? Our significant others, kids, neighbors, friends, peers, colleagues, or enemies.
Who wouldn’t want to have improved friendships, courtships, partnerships, relationships?
We’re in a series called LOVE LIKE THAT.
Each week I’ve been emphasizing what you already know: none of us have arrived yet.
We are all trying to figure it out, trying to get it right.
Largely because we know the stakes are so high.
All of us intuitively know that our actions, even our intentions can and do have a generational impact.
So, this is something we want to get right.
Our theme passage for the entire series is Ephesians 5:1-2
1 Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents.
2 Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.
Love like that. Don’t you love that phrase? Today we’re examining the third aspect of what it takes to love like Jesus. BE GRACE-FULL.
1. HOW GRACE AND JUDGMENT ARE CONNECTED.
1. HOW GRACE AND JUDGMENT ARE CONNECTED.
Matthew 7:1-2 says,
1 “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged.
2 For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.
Judging has a negative connotation, even though it literally means “to form an opinion or conclusion about something.”
That doesn’t sound too bad.
So, what’s the big deal?
Well, how we form our opinions matters.
37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
38 Give, and it will be given to you; a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over—will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.”
There seems to be a direct connection between how you form your opinion of others and how God forms an opinion about you.
Matthew 7:3-4 says,
3 “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?
4 How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye?
That passage seems to identify a classic definition of a hypocrite: you accurately form an opinion of others but DON'T form an accurate opinion of yourself.
Consider these simple definitions for three key theological terms:
JUSTICE - getting what you deserve.
MERCY - not getting what you do deserve.
GRACE - getting what you could never earn or deserve.
As author Max Lucado puts it, “Mercy gave the prodigal son a second chance. Grace gave him a feast.”
All of us see a speck in another’s eye while being oblivious to the tree in our own.
We struggle because grace is a gift - unconditional - and it can’t be earned or achieved.
It comes from a heart that requires nothing in return.
2. GRACE IS UNFAIR.
2. GRACE IS UNFAIR.
Grace is by definition, unfair.
It doesn’t make sense.
And that’s the point.
If you want to love like Jesus, you can’t limit your love to people who deserve it.
2 At dawn he went to the temple again, and all the people were coming to him. He sat down and began to teach them.
3 Then the scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, making her stand in the center.
4 “Teacher,” they said to him, “this woman was caught in the act of committing adultery.
5 In the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?”
6 They asked this to trap him, in order that they might have evidence to accuse him. Jesus stooped down and started writing on the ground with his finger.
7 When they persisted in questioning him, he stood up and said to them, “The one without sin among you should be the first to throw a stone at her.”
8 Then he stooped down again and continued writing on the ground.
9 When they heard this, they left one by one, starting with the older men. Only he was left, with the woman in the center.
This woman was caught in the act of adultery, not accused, caught in the act… this was a trap.
The Pharisees and religious folk did what they could to get rid of Jesus.
They probably followed this couple around, waited a few minutes, then busted down the door, grabbed her, and left the guy she was with…
not fair.
Then they brought her before Jesus.
The Pharisees start quoting scripture to Jesus (which is never a good idea).
They’re telling Jesus this woman was caught in the act of adultery.
And they are reminding Jesus that it was a crime punishable by death (Leviticus 16).
They are trying to trap Him.
But watch what happens…
At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. (John 8:9)
Why did they go home?
They were right.
They had truth on their side, they had a Bible verse to back it up.
Why didn’t they just point to the verse and step into the role of jury, judge, prosecutor, and executioner?
What stopped them?
The answer is truth.
That same truth that brought them to a place where they thought they had the right to attack what others have done wrong in their lives, also stopped them dead in their tracks.
While Jesus acknowledged that what they said is true, He also acknowledges another bigger truth.
He basically communicates… if those are the rules you want to play by, we can play by those rules.
But are you sure you want to do that?
We can use truth to destroy her, but when we’re done with her, you’re next.
That’s truth.
Everyone gets what they deserve.
Anybody want to play by those rules?
Where the whole crowd gets what they deserve?
Nope, I’m out, and the whole crowd dropped their stones and went home.
They wanted to condemn her with truth, but once they realized that truth didn’t just condemn her, it also condemned them, they were out.
Many of us stop reading the story here.
The takeaway is that nobody is perfect, so don’t throw stones.
We all make mistakes so don’t judge.
But Jesus isn’t done yet.
We can’t ignore what Jesus says next.
The crowd is now gone, and it’s just Jesus and the woman standing there.
Look at what He says to her.
10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”
11 “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”
This is important.
Jesus said, “neither do I condemn you.”
The one person in the crowd that is qualified to condemn her didn’t.
And listen, He could have.
He could have picked up that stone and done it.
He could have, but he didn’t.
That’s called grace.
Grace is getting what you do not deserve.
Here’s what Jesus is saying… I could condemn you.
But instead, I’m going to give you something better.
I’m going to give you what you NEED, not what you DESERVE.
But again, the conversation isn’t over yet.
Because Jesus is loving, because Jesus wants what’s best for her, He can’t leave it there.
So, he says “Go and sin no more.”
In other words, from now on you can’t do this anymore.
You can’t live your life like this anymore.
What was she doing?
She was living her life apart from what God said was best for her.
She was sinning.
Jesus is basically telling her, I could condemn you, but I won’t, because I want something better for you.
But you’ve got to stop living your life that way because it’s not the best I have for you.
Jesus offered this women grace.
And He offers us grace today too.
Paul makes it clear in 2 Corinthians 12 that no matter what we’ve done, no matter how bad our sin is, God’s grace is big enough to cover it.
Jesus’ grace covers you.
But grace is not permission to keep on sinning.
So, let me ask you… are you accepting God’s grace in your life to cover your mistakes?
Or are you trying to fix them yourself?
Are you listening to God’s truth in your life?
Or are you using grace to get away with something?
How about this… when you encounter someone that is caught up in something wrong, how do you interact with them?
Do you offer them grace?
Consider Luke 23:39-43
39 Then one of the criminals hanging there began to yell insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!”
40 But the other answered, rebuking him: “Don’t you even fear God, since you are undergoing the same punishment?
41 We are punished justly, because we’re getting back what we deserve for the things we did, but this man has done nothing wrong.”
42 Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”
43 And he said to him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”
How is this possible?
How is it possible that a dying thief took a suffering, bleeding, crucified man for his God!?
The amazing grace of Jesus.
He recognized the Christ before the three hours of darkness; before the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom; before the earth shook and the rocks split; before the tombs broke open and the bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life; before the centurion exclaimed, "Surely he was the Son of God!"
Jesus used this moment, the most unfavorable of circumstances, to show that it is only by sovereign grace that the thief is saved.
This thief looked at love and realized what had been missing in his life.
He looked at forgiveness and felt the weight of his sin drop to the foot of the cross.
He looked at grace and knew there was hope.
Jesus was praying for the very men who were crucifying Him.
Jesus was forgiving His enemies as he was being tortured.
The criminal begins to reason that if Jesus can do that, then there must be hope for even one like himself.
So, he turns in faith toward Christ.
The thief, by grace, somehow recognized Jesus as the Messiah, as the Son of David, who would rule over the Kingdom of God.
"Remember me," says the thief.
He is asking the Lord to not forget or ignore him, but to be mindful of him.
The thief is placing his fate in the hands of Jesus.
Jesus answered the thief, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.”
Jesus gives the thief far more than he asks for.
The thief asked to be remembered in the Kingdom; Jesus tells him he will enter paradise.
The thief was asking about the future; Jesus speaks of the present, "today."
The thief asks Jesus to remember him; Jesus says, "you will be with me.”
And that is what makes life after death paradise: it is life with Christ!
Jesus did not say, "Today you will be in Paradise."
He said, "Today you will be with me in Paradise.”
Let’s offer people grace when they mess up.
Then let’s tell people the truth, not to condemn, but out of love because we want the best for them.
We cannot shy away from the truth and we cannot be stingy with our grace.
We must be full of grace AND truth.
3. WHAT JESUS TAUGHT ABOUT GRACE.
3. WHAT JESUS TAUGHT ABOUT GRACE.
Jesus often taught in parables.
Remember that a parable is a made-up story, with usually only one point to the story.
Jesus used them to teach and impact His listeners.
The rich and poor, the politically connected and the everyday common man, male and female could all relate to his stories.
Jesus would often get the crowd all agreeing early on in the parable, then He would give a “punch line.”
The parable from Matthew 20 illustrates this:
1 “For the Kingdom of Heaven is like the landowner who went out early one morning to hire workers for his vineyard.
2 He agreed to pay the normal daily wage and sent them out to work.
3 “At nine o’clock in the morning he was passing through the marketplace and saw some people standing around doing nothing.
4 So he hired them, telling them he would pay them whatever was right at the end of the day.
5 So they went to work in the vineyard. At noon and again at three o’clock he did the same thing.
6 “At five o’clock that afternoon he was in town again and saw some more people standing around. He asked them, ‘Why haven’t you been working today?’
7 “They replied, ‘Because no one hired us.’ “The landowner told them, ‘Then go out and join the others in my vineyard.’
8 “That evening he told the foreman to call the workers in and pay them, beginning with the last workers first.
9 When those hired at five o’clock were paid, each received a full day’s wage.
10 When those hired first came to get their pay, they assumed they would receive more. But they, too, were paid a day’s wage.
11 When they received their pay, they protested to the owner,
12 ‘Those people worked only one hour, and yet you’ve paid them just as much as you paid us who worked all day in the scorching heat.’
13 “He answered one of them, ‘Friend, I haven’t been unfair! Didn’t you agree to work all day for the usual wage?
14 Take your money and go. I wanted to pay this last worker the same as you.
15 Is it against the law for me to do what I want with my money? Should you be jealous because I am kind to others?’
16 “So those who are last now will be first then, and those who are first will be last.”
This parable touches on two primary areas:
Jesus wants a lot of people working in His vineyard.
Jesus shares His grace extravagantly.
First, the owner goes to the marketplace four different times to get workers for his field.
Like today, he’s looking for day laborers.
Probably a real mix of humanity: the unemployed, the underemployed, those that needed more money because of a financial loss perhaps, maybe those needing extra money for taxes.
I’m sure they were a mix.
And just like the landowner who went out to get anyone and everyone, Jesus is an “includer”, not an “excluder.”
Jesus wants everyone to be loved on, rescued, and restored.
Secondly, those who had worked the longest thought they should receive a little more than those who had not worked as long.
They felt they should get an extra bonus in their paycheck.
They had endured longer.
They had picked more grapes.
They were tired, dirty, and hungry.
But instead of doing that, he does something entirely different and gives us a schooling on grace.
He graciously rewards everyone the same.
The same AGREED AMOUNT OF WAGE.
It's hard not to sympathize with the guys hired at the first hour.
In fact, we feel for them.
We can almost hear their complaint echoing in our own minds.
To our American ways of thinking, it doesn't seem fair.
It strikes against our sense of equal pay for equal work.
If modern unions had existed in ancient Israel, there would have been protests.
A strike would have been called against the landowner, and none of the grapes would have been harvested in time.
Like many of Jesus’ parables, this rubs us the wrong way.
It even offends.
This parable is not an isolated incident.
The gospels are filled with stories where the expected order of things is tossed aside, the unlikely is embraced, all for the reason of teaching God’s grace, God’s economy of doing things, God’s values.
These are the scandalous mathematics of grace.
It’s not what we deserve.
It’s what we need.
It’s not 2+2=4.
God is not bad at math.
We have switched the price tags on everything in a subconscious movement away from grace.
We’ve taken the things that are of great value and worth, and we’ve swapped them for pennies on the dollar.
We’ve traded in eternal glory for dollar store trinkets that will break before we even get home.
We’ve pawned our marriages, our children, our values, our character, our integrity to buy a few cheap thrills and fleeting amusements.
To love like Jesus means to see things in a new way.
His teaching stretches our minds and our hearts.
He wants us to weigh things on the scales of heavenly worth instead of earthly value.
For centuries, this has been called the parable of the workers in the vineyard.
It would be more accurate to call it the parable of the gracious and generous landowner.
Jesus isn't teaching a lesson on economics.
This isn't about fair labor practices.
This is all about the generosity and grace of the landowner; ultimately, the generosity and grace of God.
Despite the offense taken by the first hour workers, they were paid a just and sufficient wage.
It was the commonly accepted wage.
It was the wage for which they had agreed to work, and it was a sufficient wage to supply their needs and provide for their families.
He paid them what they needed to be paid.
However, he also gave the other workers what they needed also.
Not what they deserved, but what they needed.
Anything less and they would not have been able to feed their families.
Imagine the guy hired at the last hour, trying to make do with only 1/12th of a living wage.
The landowner, because he was so generous, gave him what he needed not what he deserved.
It's the same with us.
God doesn't give us what we deserve.
He gives us what we need.
No matter how little we deserve it.
No matter how insufficient our effort, God gives us what we need.
Salvation isn't about what we deserve, it's about what God gives.
We can never hope to earn our salvation.
Our only hope is for God to give us what we need.
God is like the generous landowner.
He gives all who come to Him what they need.
4. HOW TO BE A BETTER GRACE-GIVER.
4. HOW TO BE A BETTER GRACE-GIVER.
In these stories, Jesus perfectly displays that He is full of grace and truth.
And here’s the application for us today.
We need that too.
We’ve got to be full of grace AND truth.
Curiosity about why a person does what they do creates a space for grace.
How? Almost every evaluation we make of others arises from incomplete information.
We fill in the gaps of what we don’t know with preconceived judgments.
Curiosity, however, keeps our judgments at bay.
It opens our minds to the possibility that there is something about the situation we don’t fully understand.
Picture this: you’re riding on a crowded bus going through the city.
Minding your own business, you notice a dad and his two small children board the bus and sit down.
The kids are a nightmare.
Jumping up on people, making loud noises, and the dad seems totally oblivious.
After a while, you can take it no longer and say, “Sir, will you please attend to your kids? They are out of control.”
Dad then seems to come out of his oblivion and says to you, “I’m so sorry, I just didn’t notice. You see, we came from the hospital and my wife, their mom, just passed away. I guess I’m kind of numb.”
What just happened? You just went from judgmental, to compassion.
Why? You just got all the information.
When you see someone that you think is acting insane, stupid, or worse, this is the question: “I wonder what’s going on with that person that I don’t know about?”
Or it may not even be a tragedy, it may that there is simply something you don’t know.
The other person may have information or wisdom that you don’t and that is why they are doing what they are doing.
By being curious and asking questions, it opens up the lines of communication, and not only will you get all the information, but now there is an opportunity for learning.
That learning could happen in either direction too.
Either you may learn something from them, or you may be able to add to the information they have and they can learn.
If we are going to be Grace-Full, we have to see things as God does, and that requires that we have all the info.
SO WHAT? (CONCLUSION/APPLICATION)
1. Determine to get “the rest of the story” before acting impulsively or judgmentally.
2. Talk with God about areas in your life where you react in judgment and not grace.
3. Make a list of three grace-filled actions you will implement this week.