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Gods Nature is Living And Abiding in us.
Forgiving and forgiveness a Process By which we must Abide.
Repentance.
Literally a change of mind, not about individual plans, intentions, or beliefs, but rather a change in the whole personality from a sinful course of action to God.
Such a change is sometimes referred to as “evangelical repentance,” since it arises out of the proclamation of God’s grace to the sinner and the correlative work of the Holy Spirit in the new birth (Jn 3:5–8).
Such a change is the fruit of Christ’s victory over death—a gift bestowed as a result of his exaltation to his Father’s right hand as Prince and Savior (Acts 5:31).
“In him [Jesus] we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.”
(Ephesians 1:7–8)
QUESTION: “I know God has forgiven me of my sins, but how do I forgive myself?”
ANSWER: Have you ever considered that being unwilling to forgive what God has forgiven is discrediting God’s gift of mercy toward you?
It is placing yourself as a higher judge than God Himself.
It is saying:
• “God, you are wrong in forgiving me because I don’t deserve to be forgiven.”
• “Christ’s sacrifice on the cross must not be sufficient to cleanse me of my sins.”
• “Something else must be done to make up for what is lacking in Jesus’ sacrifice.”
While not forgiving yourself may make you feel like you are being humble before God, realize that in such a situation your focus is not on God but on yourself.
Humility is bowing your knee to God and submitting to His authority and His right to declare righteous whomever He chooses.
After all, who are you to overrule God?
Since Satan is an “accuser” of Christians (Revelation 12:10), when you continue blaming yourself, you align yourself with Satan, whose goal is to keep you feeling defeated.
Instead, humbly thank God for His undeserved mercy.
Thank Him for His undeserved grace and live in His undeserved forgiveness.
“He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.
He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit.”
(Titus 3:5)
E. What Is the Root Cause of Unforgiveness?
Everyone has been created with three God-given needs—the needs for love, for significance, and for security.19
Many people who have been hurt feel insignificant and powerless; therefore, they try to get their need for significance met by withholding forgiveness.
Unforgiveness gives them a sense of power and superiority.
If you were ever betrayed by a friend, for a time you may have felt powerless to stop the pain.
Since no one likes to feel powerless, unforgiveness provides an illusion of power.
By refusing to forgive, you feel a sense of power.
By holding on to hatred, you feel infused with strength.
By retaliating with revenge, you carry out a power play.
• WRONG BELIEF: “It’s natural for me to resent those who have wronged me.
If I forgive them, they will get away with it.
My offenders need to pay for the wrongs committed against me.”
RESULT: This belief reflects an attitude of pride that sets you up as a judge higher than God Himself—God, who is willing to forgive and forget.
“I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.”
(Isaiah 43:25)
• RIGHT BELIEF: “Because God has totally forgiven me, I can release my resentment and choose to forgive others.
I will rely on Christ, who is living within me, to forgive through me.”
RESULT: This belief reflects a heart of humility that results in a desire to forgive others in the same way God forgives you.
“If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
(Matthew 6:14–15)
THE PARABLE OF THE UNMERCIFUL SERVANT
Jesus told a parable about a servant who owed the king ten thousand talents (about $50,000,000 today).
The king ordered that the servant and his family be sold—literally—along with all that they had.
The servant fell on his knees begging for mercy, “I will pay back everything.”
The king extended mercy and forgave the entire debt.
• The king represents our heavenly Father, who forgives all of our debt of sin when we sincerely come to Him for forgiveness and mercy.
vv., 23–27
Later this same servant grabbed one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii (about $50 today) and demanded repayment.
His fellow servant fell to his knees begging for mercy, “I will pay you back.”
Instead, the first servant had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.
• The servant who had his debts removed was not willing to forgive the debts of another servant who sought forgiveness.
vv., 28–30
When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and told the king about it.
The cruel servant was called by the king, who was angered that his servant had not extended the mercy he himself had received from the king.
The servant was then thrown into jail to be tortured until he could pay all he owed.
• If we don’t extend true forgiveness to others, our Father in heaven will not forgive us.
vv., 31–35
“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”
(Matthew 18:35)
C. Why Should We Forgive?
The obvious answer to the question, “Why forgive?” is this: “Because God says so!” But why does God say so?
First, because others need it.
And second, because we need it!21
Long ago, George Herbert said that the person who cannot forgive “breaks the bridge over which all must pass if they would ever reach heaven; for everyone has need to be forgiven.”22
GOD’S HEART ON FORGIVENESS
• God commands that we forgive each other.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
(Ephesians 4:32)
• God wants us to forgive others because He forgives us.
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
(Colossians 3:13)
• God wants us to see unforgiveness as sin.
“Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.”
(James 4:17)
• God wants us to get rid of unforgiveness and have a heart of mercy.
“Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.”
(Matthew 5:7)
• God wants us to do our part to live in peace with everyone.
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
(Romans 12:18)
• God wants us to overcome evil with good.
“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
(Romans 12:21)
• God wants us to be ministers of reconciliation.
“God … reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them.
And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.”
(2 Corinthians 5:18–19)
D. What Are the Four Stages of Forgiveness?
Have you ever noticed that the word forgiveness has the little word “give” in it?
When you choose to forgive, you give someone a gift … the gift of freedom from having to pay the penalty for offending you … the gift of dismissing the debt owed to you!
Because this can be a difficult “gift” to give, you may need to travel through four stages of forgiveness.
But realize that you are also giving yourself a gift … the gift of “grudge-free living.”
That is true freedom.
And that is why the Bible says,
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