A Scriptural-Spiritual Lens for Resolve in 2022 - Part Fourteen

Introduction

Charles Simeon wrote regarding our text today. [Your duty, is to “love your wives,” and never on any occasion to entertain an unkind feeling towards them. A proud, haughty, imperious carriage towards them is most offensive to God, who will regard every harsh, bitter, or contemptuous expression towards them as an abuse of your authority and a violation of his commands. Though he has constituted you lords, he has not authorized you to be tyrants; but requires you to be precisely such lords over your wives, as Christ is over his Church. You are to govern, it is true; but you are to govern only for the good of the wife: you are to seek only, and at all times, her best interests, and to promote to the utmost of your power her real happiness. You must not require any thing unreasonable at her hands, nor ever fail to recompense with testimonies of your love the efforts which she makes to please you. Nor must you merely endeavour to render her happy, but you must be ready to make great sacrifices for this end. What the Lord Jesus Christ has done for his Church, is set forth as the proper model and pattern of your duty towards your wife: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church, and GAVE HIMSELF FOR IT.”

PRAY

Colossians 3:18–4:1 ESV

18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. 22 Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. 25 For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. 1 Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.

Christian husbands resolve to understand marriage

Husbands - The assumption here is that of marriage. This is a repetition of the first point last week. The Apostle Paul is seeking to apply the gospel to the main and most basic human relationship. Let’s go back to the beginning and see what we can learn about God’s design in the marriage relationship.

Genesis 1:26–27 ESV

26 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Genesis 2:18–24 ESV

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” 19 Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Things we learn from this historical account:

· The creation of Man consists of both male and female

· Males and females are equally created in the image of God

· Adam being alone was not good, he needed a helper

· The idea of marriage is from God

· Marriage is between one man and one woman

· Marriage is the most intimate human relationship

· The creation order indicates an authority structure of the relationship

Genesis 3:6–13 ESV

6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. 7 Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. 8 And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” 10 And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” 11 He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” 12 The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” 13 Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Genesis 3:16–19 ESV

16 To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.” 17 And to Adam he said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, ‘You shall not eat of it,’ cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life; 18 thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field. 19 By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”

Sin and the Fall caused division within the relationship

When you see roles reversed in marriage, you should be reminded of the Fall

When you see roles abused in marriage, you should be reminded of the Fall Adam was held responsible for not leading his wife

The application of the gospel within the marriage relationship will reverse the results of the curse to produce a relationship that is full of purpose, love and joy. In fact, we see that the marriage relationships deepest significance is that it is to reflect the relationship between Christ and his bride, the church.

Ephesians 5:31–32 ESV

31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

Christian husbands resolve to sacrificially care for their wives

Love your wives - Totality – Love - The love that was shown at Calvary, the love produced in the heart of the yielded saint by the Holy Spirit, the love that will cause the husband to sacrifice himself and his own wishes in the interest of the well-being of the wife.

Exclusivity – your wives - Is Christ unfaithful in any way to his bride?

Matthew 5:27–28 ESV

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Persistence - Present active imperative, “keep on loving.” Does Christ give up on loving his bride?

Ephesians 5:25–31 ESV

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

Sacrificial love

Sanctifying love

Purifying love

Truthful love

Gospel love

Purposeful love

Christian husbands resolve to avoid negativity toward their wives

Do not be harsh with them. Present middle imperative in prohibition: “Stop being bitter” or “do not have the habit of being bitter.” This is the sin of husbands. “to embitter, exasperate, irritate.” Lightfoot translates, “show no bitterness, behave not harshly.”

There can be a tendency for a husband to think himself as “the leader” and belittle his wife because she is to submit to him. In addition, a husband can focus on the wife’s failures and shortcomings and allow it to produce bitterness toward his wife. As a result, he treats her differently and harshly.

1 Peter 3:7 ESV

7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

“It is humility and kindness, not superiority of status … which ought to dictate the conduct of the baptized”

Practical Application

Ask your wife to answer honestly and give feedback on your husbanding. Promise not to get angry, listen, study the Scriptures and prayerfully be more like Christ.

No excuses!!!! You are called to love your wife. There is no exception clause! Submission=love or sex=love, or niceness=love or letting you do what you want=love

Repent of abusive patterns - condescending statements, distance, neglect as a spiritual leader, affairs of the heart and of time, lust toward other women, unfair expectations, ignoring her opinions concerns, being bossy, being slothful, disregarding her importance.

Loving her will make you the leader in service, the leader in repentance, the leader in forgiveness, the leader to showing preference, the leader in the direction of spiritual growth.

Some are afraid that if they do this, their wives will take advantage of them. Well, do you ever abuse the love of Christ? Does he stop loving you or keep on loving you?

It is not about you!!!

Hosea 1:2–3 ESV

2 When the Lord first spoke through Hosea, the Lord said to Hosea, “Go, take to yourself a wife of whoredom and have children of whoredom, for the land commits great whoredom by forsaking the Lord.” 3 So he went and took Gomer, the daughter of Diblaim, and she conceived and bore him a son.

Hosea 3 ESV

1 And the Lord said to me, “Go again, love a woman who is loved by another man and is an adulteress, even as the Lord loves the children of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love cakes of raisins.” 2 So I bought her for fifteen shekels of silver and a homer and a lethech of barley. 3 And I said to her, “You must dwell as mine for many days. You shall not play the whore, or belong to another man; so will I also be to you.” 4 For the children of Israel shall dwell many days without king or prince, without sacrifice or pillar, without ephod or household gods. 5 Afterward the children of Israel shall return and seek the Lord their God, and David their king, and they shall come in fear to the Lord and to his goodness in the latter days.